I meant to go to Mass

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Today I had every intention of going to my first mass. I have visited a local parish recently and have been interested in converting for some time. However, when I arrived, I was overwhelmed with the feeling that I couldn’t go into the mass. I don’t know what it was, but I felt like I didn’t belong, like I couldn’t go in. I don’t know if I was just afraid to go, but I got the feeling like I wasn’t worthy to go in I guess. I’m going to try again with a Catholic friend I know. I guess I’m using this thread to ask for advice and prayers. I’ve never had a feeling like that before and I don’t really know what to think. I hope this is the right category.
 
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LJPK said:
Today I had every intention of going to my first mass. I have visited a local parish recently and have been interested in converting for some time. However, when I arrived, I was overwhelmed with the feeling that I couldn’t go into the mass. I don’t know what it was, but I felt like I didn’t belong, like I couldn’t go in. I don’t know if I was just afraid to go, but I got the feeling like I wasn’t worthy to go in I guess. I’m going to try again with a Catholic friend I know. I guess I’m using this thread to ask for advice and prayers. I’ve never had a feeling like that before and I don’t really know what to think. I hope this is the right category.
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You are welcome to attend a Catholic mass. Non Catholics should not receive Holy Communion, but apart from that you are welcome to attend and participate.

None of us is worthy.
 
The first time I really thought about going to Mass (ie it wasn’t someone else was going or just part of the program so to speak) I was definitely nervous. And I’m also someone who is uncomfortable in unfamiliar situations. (And despite being Catholic and having gone to Mass before, a normal Sunday Mass by myself was definitely unfamiliar.) And for that first Mass, I knew I wouldn’t be able to receive Communion so that added to my nervousness. But I will say that experience was memorable. It seemed like each reading spoke to me. The homily too. Communion, even though I couldn’t receive, was also a beauty. To see the Real Presence. And all my nervousness was for naught. The people didn’t look at me wondering if I belonged. The next week I actually got complimented on my singing voice during the hymns by a lady in the pew. And another week, a lady said something that essentially said I was part of the community. (And thinking back, God bless those women.) And each week got more comfortable. More familiar.

That was two years ago this month. And now even when visitng another parish, there’s never a feeling like I don’t belong. And Daily Masses are something I go to.

So, I know you feel nervous now. But trust me, once you start going, you’ll have no doubt that you belong. And I’m glad to hear you’re converting. Prayers will be said.

(Side note: you might consider also opening a thread in #catholic-living:prayer-intentions . [If you click on it, the link will take you there.])
 
I really appreciate that response. It seems you had a very similar experience to mine. I know conceptually that anyone can go to mass, but it’s nerve-racking when you feel out of place. Thank you again.
 
LJPK said:
However, when I arrived, I was overwhelmed with the feeling that I couldn’t go into the mass. I don’t know what it was, but I felt like I didn’t belong, like I couldn’t go in. I don’t know if I was just afraid to go, but I got the feeling
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I know the feeling. When I first became Catholic I remember weeping at Mass and thinking to myself “what business does a heroin addict loser like me have with a bunch of saints like I see here?”

The answer is they aren’t a bunch of saints, but rather sinners just like me. It’s just that at Mass everyone is putting on their best face. You don’t see the sharply dressed man who is in deep with stealing from people in his company. You don’t see the beautiful woman who inside is struggling with addictions to shopping and porn. The list goes on and on…
 
if your church has a choir loft, go and ask the choirmaster if you can observe from there. They might ask you to join, and that ministry is wonderful, allowing you to contribute and see over the heads to the altar
 
God bless you for trying! Before I converted, and some time after, what bothered me was not knowing when to stand, sit, kneel, or what to say or repeat or sing or whatever. If you were going alone, this might have been something in the back of your mind that caused the hesitation.

Most places have something you can use to follow along so you know what to do next and what page the next hymn is on, etc. For example, The St. Michael’s Hymnal, or laminated sheets in the pews to help guide you.
 
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Also, if you live in a metropolitan area or somewhat larger town or city, many parishes or even private Catholic colleges or hospitals will offer Sunday evening masses. If you decide you want to try again.
 
That’s the demons trying to keep you away from Christ. No matter what forces try to keep you away, go to Mass. Once you’ve been once, it should be easier to go again. If it continues to be a problem, consult the priest.
 
That is helpful, I have never heard of number 11 being acceptable or seen anyone do that.
 
GladTidings said:
hat is helpful, I have never heard of number 11 being acceptable or seen anyone do that.
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For me, I’ve seen it at a parish where the Church was under renovation and the space used for Mass lacked kneelers. We also stand during the normal kneeling portions.

I’ve also seen a situation where Mass was said on a ship and the priest asked people to sit down as opposed to remain standing and be making sure to keep their balance while standing in place on a rocking ship. And due to lack of kneelers, we also didn’t kneel during the kneeling parts either.
 
The chart seems to apply only to the US and maybe some other parts of the world, but in my area, French Canada, no. 8 applies to the consecration only, we rise at the mystery of the faith. We don’t do 10, we remain standing until ready to move into the communion line, and for 11 the practice is to kneel after communion unless there is no kneeler or you’re unable to.

Not sure which country the OP belongs to, but if not the US his/her norms may be different.
 
May this “cradle catholic” suggest a few ideas:

Start out going to a daily mass: it is not as well attended so the crowd will not be intimidating, they are normally a little simpler in form, and it will be easier to sit in the back and think no one is paying attention to you. Which, believe it or not, is likely the case: people are not watching you to see if you know what the heck is going on.

Go to the Church a few times when mass is not going on, walk around, get a feel for the place.

Finally, check out the book “The Belief of Catholics” by Ronald Knox. Its an older book, but was actually written to those folks who (to paraphrase Knox) think they want to convert, are looking in the windows like they are shopping, but afraid to go into the store. It is not a catechism, it does not go through Catholic teachings one at a time, it is more of a “how the Church thinks about things”. It is an excellent book, similar in some sense to CS Lewis’s Mere Christianity.
 
Thanks. One thing to keep in mind about the Church is that she is universal, but that does not mean uniform. I believe if you look at the GIRM on the Vatican site you’ll find that kneeling only for the consecration is the universal norm, and kneeling for the whole EP is the (licit and permitted) exception. One of those areas where the Missal allows some wiggle room.
 
LJPK said:
Today I had every intention of going to my first mass. I have visited a local parish recently and have been interested in converting for some time. However, when I arrived, I was overwhelmed with the feeling that I couldn’t go into the mass. I don’t know what it was, but I felt like I didn’t belong, like I couldn’t go in. I don’t know if I was just afraid to go, but I got the feeling like I wasn’t worthy to go in I guess. I’m going to try again with a Catholic friend I know. I guess I’m using this thread to ask for advice and prayers. I’ve never had a feeling like that before and I don’t really know what to think. I hope this is the right category.
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It’s wonderful that you have such a deep appreciation of the mass even before converting. It truly is an amazing thing that God has provided. Even in cases where the execution looks mundane, what occurs is still so great!

Don’t let your positive appreciation turn into negative intimidation, though. God doesn’t want that to happen. There’s no litmus test for attending mass (well, don’t go naked, maybe). Everyone in there is a sinner, and God wants them anyway. The Church on Earth is a hospital for sinners, not a museum of saints.

Go, with a friend if you need to. Observe. Enjoy. Sing praises to God.
 
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Jesus said not the healthy ones need a doctor, but the sick ones.

Not the perfect people need church but the sinners.

Everyone is welcome in the church.
Just go in. It’s gods house and god loves you more than anyone.
There’s nobody to reject you.
 
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