I might need help

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whatevergirl

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…I don’t know why I do this, but I don’t like seeing my kids over extending themselves (physical labor around the house)

We are moving, and my husband has been acting like a drill sargeant. We had a talk about it today, and he was a bit better…but my kids are very tired. I mean, they helped us clean out the garage today. Am I wrong in getting angry with my husband for making them help us? I know, I have brought up similiar issues before…that’s why I need someone to tell me that work for kids is alright. It’s not gonna hurt them.

I told my husband he needs to give them like $50…and he looked at me like I had two heads.:rolleyes:

Are there any moms out there like me? My husband did make a quasi good point today though…he said ‘how do you expect him to endure the heat in Florida, during football practice?’ True, I actually get worried thinking about that, too.😊
 
Well, I dont know. In my situation, the way I and my husband were raised, I dont think I would be rushing to give them money, but I would be feeling bad about them doing a lot of work.:o

I only have one child and a toddler so, I cant give advice here.

I just like reading about your move and all the happenings I must admit.😊

I am really excited for you!🙂

Sorry that’s no help now, but I am glued to your moving story.
 
Hellisreal said:
Well, I dont know. In my situation, the way I and my husband were raised, I dont think I would be rushing to give them money, but I would be feeling bad about them doing a lot of work.:o

I only have one child and a toddler so, I cant give advice here.

I just like reading about your move and all the happenings I must admit.😊

I am really excited for you!🙂

Sorry that’s no help now, but I am glued to your moving story.
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LOL–that’s funny!😃 I told my husband that and he said…she can come and help us and watch the story live. haI 😃 I should take a pic of all the garbage at the edge of our lawn tonight, for the pick up tomorrow morning. I am seriously worried they won’t take it all! ha!

Well…we got much done today…we are probably 80% done. It’s really dumb that we waited til the month we’re moving to throw stuff out and pack.😛 I think I need counseling for procrastination.:o

Have a good night…
 
drifting_away said:
how old are your children?
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11–daughter…she didn’t do as much, just sweeped and wrapped china in boxes

14–my son–he did a lot of lifting of boxes, and moving some furniture with my husband…he’s 6’ 160 lbs…and seems pretty unaffected by it…but I still felt like he did too much.

We just have no one to help us. Our one neighbor has been ill…my family and my husband’s (majority) are in Florida, and we get there…they are going to help us…but on this end, it’s been tough recruiting anyone. We should have just hired movers…we were going to, but we decided to do it ourselves.:rolleyes:
 
St. Rita - patron of Impossible Causes!

Help them make it all happen:)

(I am not saying its impossible either it just sounds powerful):o
 
according to my kids the reason we had them was so they could do slave labor for us, and we never saw any reason to change their minds. Every member of the family should contribute to the cleanliness and order of the home according to their abilities. You could always threaten to throw out their stuff if they don’t sort and pack it themselves.
 
Part of being a family is helping each other. Your family is moving and they are part of that family. I don’t think you should pay you children to pull their weight as part of a family. Think of the generations of farming families. They certainly weren’t getting $50 for their labor. I know your a softy. I tend to be too. Thank God for my husband. The funny (annoying) thing is our daughter actually completes tasks better when my husband gets after her than when I do, and she seems happier too. Figures.:rolleyes:
 
My family has moved a few times, and my four younger brothers have always been employed (along with me) in one way or another with the packing and unpacking. It’s just the way it is. At 6’ and 160 lbs, your 14 y/o probably isn’t too affected by it…I have a brother the exact same age/height/weight and he does all kinds of hauling for us 😉 We never got paid for packing up our stuff and cleaning the new house, it was just expected of us.

If you’re really feeling bad about the work they’re doing, though, why not treat the family to dinner at your favorite restaurant? Or go out for ice cream together or rent a movie. Any kind of little reward–other than cash in their pockets–might be good for all of you at this point.
 
Hey,

We have moved a lot in the life time of our marriage—military—. I have always had the girls do what they could according to their age and ability. It helped them feel apart of what is going on. Of course, we had the gov’t do the moving for us, but the girls got to help with the cleaning and packing the stuff we wanted to bring with us.

I also beleive that it is good for kids to learn the value of hard work. Whether they get paid or not. My mom never had us do anything around the house( we got in the way) and it was very hard on me when I got married…had to do it all myself:eek: …it was a hard lesson. Now I try and balance it for my girls.

Good luck with the move…we lived in Pensacola and Jacksonville…loved both places!!

J.M.J.
cat3gs
 
Whatevergirl, I remember a thread a while back about this when you said your husband expected your kids to help and you thought it was too much and if my memory serves me correctly almost ALL the people that replied, (including me) said hard work will never kill them, it’s actually good for them.
We have just landscaped our backyard and my 14yo son worked about 12 hours straight shovelling soil. We got rid of about 10 ton of soil and had to move it from the backyard to the front. Then we had to move compost, about 7 ton to the back and mix it in. Then we moved about 10 ton of bark chips from the front to the back.
Seriously, he worked hard all day and when he went to bed completley exhausted, I thought to myself, he’s learning a valuable life lesson.
My 16 yo and my 12 yo daughters also helped, inside the house and outside. They also helped look after their little brother.
My 12yo does most of the washing for 6 of us. She does a great job.
On a thread I posted about my children a little while back, I had a few people comment about my 18mo son being MY child, not my childrens’s child and that they shouldn’t be looking after him. Well, I make NO apologies that I expect them to sometimes. I am NOT a lazy person. I do not order my children around while I sit and do nothing, therefore, I cannot do everything and they ALL live here, so they ALL have to help whether they like it or not. We all have to learn that hard work is a part of life and I don’t think you are doing your kids any favours to not expect them to help, even if it’s hard. Believe me, I know what comes of people NOT being made to work and contribute to the running of the household. They become very lazy adults and they are quite happy to sit back and watch others do all the work while they relax. I have 3 brothers that do just that. Doesn’t matter how exhausted you are, they will not get up and help and I am sure it is because my parents never insisted they do any work around the house.
Your husband loves your children too, trust him. He wouldn’t be pushing them further than he thinks is fair. It’s character building for them and will make them hard working adults.
 
And in my opinion DEFINATELY DO NOT pay them for something they should be doing… helping in their family.
 
whatevergirl said:
11–daughter…she didn’t do as much, just sweeped and wrapped china in boxes

14–my son–he did a lot of lifting of boxes, and moving some furniture with my husband…he’s 6’ 160 lbs…and seems pretty unaffected by it…but I still felt like he did too much.

We just have no one to help us. Our one neighbor has been ill…my family and my husband’s (majority) are in Florida, and we get there…they are going to help us…but on this end, it’s been tough recruiting anyone. We should have just hired movers…we were going to, but we decided to do it ourselves.:rolleyes:
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I think they should give you $50 for packing their stuff. Whats the use of having kids iof you cant make them do the dirty work?🙂

I
 
My kids love to help. They are a part of this family and we all enjoy the teamwork. We are finishing the basement together and everyone has a job to do from the four year old up to the ten year old. They have helped to paint, roof, put new flooring in, mow, garden, plant trees in the vineyard. My kids fight over who gets to scrub the bathroom. They all want to. Nothing feels better than to be tired from a good days work. I personally enjoy working and working with family is twice as enjoyable.
 
lol–jules–you have a good memory…yes, i’m still at it…worrying if i’m overworking my kids.

I have to go to bed here soon–but will reply to each of your thoughts tomorrow…they are all so good. You guys sound like great parents. I tell my kids what some of you say…and they said…‘don’t listen to them, mommy.’😃 kids…ya gotta luv 'em.

I know you are right. My husband ran out and bought a 1/2 gallon of ice cream, and told me this was their reward. hee hee. I still might get them a gift certficate or something.

here’s my thinking…i still had a baby crib in the garage…ya know? it’s not their fault that i was too lazy all these years to go through the stuff periodically. so, that’s why there’s a guilt feeling…they are cleaning up MY mess. I truly have no qualms getting them to clean their own messes, I guess that’s the better way of putting it.

Ok…gotta run–talk to you more about this tomorrow.🙂
 
Um, what if you may need the baby crib?

(dont answer that, just wishful thinking on my part)

Anyhoo-

No gift certificates. Time with mommy/daddy is better:) Do something they want to do with them together.
 
Hellisreal said:
Um, what if you may need the baby crib?

(dont answer that, just wishful thinking on my part)

Anyhoo-

No gift certificates. Time with mommy/daddy is better:) Do something they want to do with them together.
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LOL–the baby crib…well…think we are done having our children…but my husband did say a few weekends ago if we should have another baby…I was like…:eek: But, with God…if it were His will…He would let us know.
 
whatevergirl said:
LOL–the baby crib…well…think we are done having our children…but my husband did say a few weekends ago if we should have another baby…I was like…:eek: But, with God…if it were His will…He would let us know.
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Prayers for your husbands intentions going up now,

of course, if its God’s will.😉

I just think you sound like such a great couple. And family!
 
whatevergirl said:
11–daughter…she didn’t do as much, just sweeped and wrapped china in boxes

14–my son–he did a lot of lifting of boxes, and moving some furniture with my husband…he’s 6’ 160 lbs…and seems pretty unaffected by it…but I still felt like he did too much.

We just have no one to help us. Our one neighbor has been ill…my family and my husband’s (majority) are in Florida, and we get there…they are going to help us…but on this end, it’s been tough recruiting anyone. We should have just hired movers…we were going to, but we decided to do it ourselves.:rolleyes:
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Your husband is a good father and, no, there is nothing wrong with children at that age putting in a hard days work helping their parents.
 
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