I might need help

[Teakafrog]

Your husband is a good father and, no, there is nothing wrong with children at that age putting in a hard days work helping their parents.

At that age, they should be helping. They are just as much a part of the family as you and hubby, they should be doing their part. Nothing wrong with a little hard work, it builds character. Do you think it would be better for them to sit around playing video games while you and hubby work your tails off? What would that teach them? That the world owes them a living and they never have to put any effort into anything they don’t want to do. Not exactly the lesson I would want my kids to learn.

 

[Convert_in_99]

I don’t see a problem with kids helping, even young children (2 and over!) Talk it over with your husband. Make a reasonable list of moving “chores” for each kid. Base is upon their age and physical abilities. Tell the child that they need to do these (however many you decide) chores before they can play with friends, or whatever. It’s very beneficial to their development. They learn discipline, responsibility, respect for others possessions, and much more. Kids as young as two will start to get the hang of it in small doses.

You can make it fun for them by saying “while we pack all the books/toys/games/kitchen stuff in these boxes” OR “while we clean up this room” we can watch (child’s favorite movie) or listen to (child’s favorite CD.) Let’s see if we can get it all packed/cleaned by the time the movie/CD is over! Make it a BIG game for younger kids. For older kids and teens use it to teach them responsibility. Also, it might be a good time to talk to the kids and teens about their feelings about the move (leaving behind family, friends, school, etc.)

 

[bunnynessuk]

I would have given them something were they my children (
or if i had any!)

My mum always says she had children not slaves - my brother and I were only ever expected to ensure our own rooms were neat - we werent expected to cook clean etc. We got pocket money which was based on age not housework and we got benefits for good school work.

My mum will often give my brother £5 for washing the car and although I was never expected or ordered to help I often change the beds, empty the dishwasher and help with the laundry.

Children are not MEANT to do the housework.

Each to their own through I guess.

 

[dkoinzan]

You all don’t have enough children. Children are meant to help. Jesus said it is a pleasure to serve. In my family we all serve eachother, so we all have to work. No Mother should sit around eating bonbons as the children work their fingers to the bone, but all children should help. My children love to help. Really it is enjoyable to work along side eachother. We play along side eachother too. We have fun together as we work. I used to love helping my Mom and Dad get ready to move. They always shared the most wonderful stories about the objects we packed. What beautiful stories a baby crib can bring up. You could be sharing all kinds of history during the packing. We always look at things as an adventure. The reward is the time spent together.

 

[CatholicSam]

So, did the garbage truck pick up all the stuff?

I moved several times when I was that age, and I helped. I remember being absolutely exhausted, but it was a good feeling, a feeling of accomplishment If I were in your situation I might consider getting them a gift after we are already in the new house, as a “Thank You” present for helping the move go so smoothly. It’s also an upheaval for them, and it would be nice for them to have a surprise like that. But I wouldn’t make it a “Ok, I made you do the work, so here’s a present in exchange” kind of thing. I like the ice cream idea

 

[whatevergirl]

So, did the garbage truck pick up all the stuff?

I moved several times when I was that age, and I helped. I remember being absolutely exhausted, but it was a good feeling, a feeling of accomplishment If I were in your situation I might consider getting them a gift after we are already in the new house, as a “Thank You” present for helping the move go so smoothly. It’s also an upheaval for them, and it would be nice for them to have a surprise like that. But I wouldn’t make it a “Ok, I made you do the work, so here’s a present in exchange” kind of thing. I like the ice cream idea

Yep! hahaha My husband is off from work now, and he said he peeked out the window and lo and behold…they took everything, although he said they didn’t look happy about it.

I felt bad, but what could we do? Honest to God–I think we threw out 500 lbs of junk!!!

 

[whatevergirl]

I would have given them something were they my children (
or if i had any!)

My mum always says she had children not slaves - my brother and I were only ever expected to ensure our own rooms were neat - we werent expected to cook clean etc. We got pocket money which was based on age not housework and we got benefits for good school work.

My mum will often give my brother £5 for washing the car and although I was never expected or ordered to help I often change the beds, empty the dishwasher and help with the laundry.

Children are not MEANT to do the housework.

Each to their own through I guess.

see–posts like this that get me all confused again. ha!!

 

[Rach620]

see–posts like this that get me all confused again. ha!!

It’s true that kids aren’t slaves, but parents are supposed to prepare their kids for life. I’m sure your kids, at some point when they’re all grown up, are going to have to move–pack up all their stuff, clean their old/new house/apartment, etc. So look at it as your teaching them a valuable skill.

Chores are not slave labor–as much as we kids always hated doing them, I know that my brothers and I are much better off for having a mother who expected us not only to help her pack and unpack when we’ve moved, but sweep the kitchen floor, clean up after dinner, set the table, clean our rooms, dust, vaccuum, even clean bathrooms. Contributing to keeping the house clean makes for well adjusted and self-sufficient kids.

In high school and even college I’ve always run into (but thank God never had to room with!) girls whose parents did everything for them, paid their way everywhere, and cleaned up after them, to the point of making beds and lunches every day. These girls are the most selfish and immature of all the young women my age who I know. Making your children work a little in the home will only benefit in the future.

And again, if you want to reimburse them for something which is ‘over and above the call of duty,’ then go for it. This is what my mom does. Mowing the lawn/weed wacking (a biiiiig yard) gets the boys $10-20. I was paid $10 an hour to strip wallpaper and paint the bathroom, kitchen and laundry room last summer–a hefty sum for me, but a deal on labor for her! And she’ll keep a running list of odd jobs that need to be done w/ a modest cash value attached…things like taking out the trash don’t get payment, but painting definitely will. It all depends on how hard you think they’re working on the whole moving thing…like I said, ice cream or dinner for the family, or maybe a gift card to show your appreciation would be in order

Wow, sorry for the long post!

 

[whatevergirl]

Rach! You have just helped me immeaurably…along with everyone else. I want to say to all of you–wow…you have taught me a lot. It’s ok to ask children to pitch in–it teaches teamwork. It teaches and prepares them for life after living with mom and dad.
I just want to commend you all…truly, I just told my husband that I am so impressed with the comments here.

Second…Rach’s post just lodged a memory for me, as to why perhaps I coddle my kids. I remember moving from NJ to Florida–during my high school years. Honestly…I don’t remember packing A THING. I think my sister did it all…that’s kinda sad, that she felt she needed to coddle me like that. Anyways…then, when I moved out to go to college…I didn’t pack for that move either. Wow…sitting here recollecting this with my husband really hits home as to why I have such an issue with my husband asking my kids to help us pack.

You guys are great shrinks. (Catholic ones at that) Thanks for helping me see all this, everyone.

 

[mariam1976]

i do believe that kids should be working at home… doing chores so that they grow up being self sufficient…
i did not do any chores around the house but i think i would have benefited from it … i did do the groceries for my parents and run errands…

 

[rpp]

It is natural for mothers to worry about their children. But consider this.

What did children 200 years ago do? They dug ditches, herded cattle, plowed fields, gathered firewood, sewed, cleaned, brought crops in from the fields, helped build and fix things, carried water and so on and so forth.

I say this in true charity but I think it may be a misguided sense of protection that leads you to desire your children not work hard.

Another point to consider, if you get your way, are you not also saying that your husband should work even harder than he already is. Is that fair to him? I realize that is NOT what you mean, but could your husband misunderstand you and think that?

Whatevergirl, I know you love your children, but hard work is important for their maturity. The sense of accomplishment that comes from working hard and finishing a job is much deifferent than the lesson they learn when they are told that other people will do the work for them.

Modern society is far too sedantary.

 

[Rach620]

Glad to hear I could be of some help, whatevergirl

And, by the way, you sound like a great mom! I hope that someday I can be as great of a Catholic mommy as all the ladies I see on this forum–along with my own mother, of course!

 

[Hellisreal]

Are there any young men at your parish that would be looking for money that may want to help you guys with the heavy stuff? Furniture and stuff that is harder to move? Or maybe put an index card at the grocery store (here its a free display on the entrances and exits of grocery stores for people to do this) to request some extra hands with the big stuff?

 

[whatevergirl]

Are there any young men at your parish that would be looking for money that may want to help you guys with the heavy stuff? Furniture and stuff that is harder to move? Or maybe put an index card at the grocery store (here its a free display on the entrances and exits of grocery stores for people to do this) to request some extra hands with the big stuff?

Will they clean the house too after we leave? Ok…too much to ask. Ya know, hellisreal…i asked my husband if that was a good idea…he thought it was–but the problem is…we started this all too late. we are moving next wed.

can you say…P-R-O-C-R-A-S-T-I-N-A-T-I-O-N?

That is a good idea, though.

 

[Hellisreal]

Will they clean the house too after we leave? Ok…too much to ask. Ya know, hellisreal…i asked my husband if that was a good idea…he thought it was–but the problem is…we started this all too late. we are moving next wed.

can you say…P-R-O-C-R-A-S-T-I-N-A-T-I-O-N?

That is a good idea, though.

Hmm. Well, the house only has to be “broom clean” in my state! (that can mean anything to anyone lol)

At least its not monday you are moving. Monday, monday, cant trust that day. (sorry for the music ref)

By the way, you can call me Hell if you want.

So, its wed. Have you called the utilities, post office, banking, insurance-ect? (not trying to imply you did not, just being a nag type now)

And, most importantly- WHERE are you going to get your haircut at the new place!!

I freaked and got mine cut right before my last move just in case I would need time to find a decent place to go to!

(that was back when I cared about my hair)

By the way, if you have time take a really good look at the house when its empty. When I did (couple of houses ago) I found stuff that was left by the former owner!

Money. (400 dollars in the bedroom under a floorboard that I always intended to get fixed but never did) but, I found it because it finally cracked on the day of the move! and even more money in the basement too, on the uppermost shelf in what they used as a homemade wine storage area/homemade salami drying room. I never put anything in there. but- while cleaning up cobwebs and stuff I found it. Older people hide money in houses. They did not trust banks. There may have been more. I am not Martha Stewart, so its possible there was more all over. I did not have time to look though. I found it all cleaning on the day of the move.

I tried to get a hold of the former owners, but they had moved to a retirement community in nevada and when I called that place the wife had died and the husband had moved. I left my number but never got a call.

Luckily the new buyers did not care about the floorboard since they were carpeting over it anyway.

 

[kage_ar]

Whatevergirl, I know you love your children, but hard work is important for their maturity. The sense of accomplishment that comes from working hard and finishing a job is much deifferent than the lesson they learn when they are told that other people will do the work for them.

Modern society is far too sedantary.

AMEN!

 

[whatevergirl]

Hmm. Well, the house only has to be “broom clean” in my state! (that can mean anything to anyone lol)

At least its not monday you are moving. Monday, monday, cant trust that day. (sorry for the music ref)

By the way, you can call me Hell if you want.

So, its wed. Have you called the utilities, post office, banking, insurance-ect? (not trying to imply you did not, just being a nag type now)

And, most importantly- WHERE are you going to get your haircut at the new place!!

I freaked and got mine cut right before my last move just in case I would need time to find a decent place to go to!

(that was back when I cared about my hair)

By the way, if you have time take a really good look at the house when its empty. When I did (couple of houses ago) I found stuff that was left by the former owner!

Money. (400 dollars in the bedroom under a floorboard that I always intended to get fixed but never did) but, I found it because it finally cracked on the day of the move! and even more money in the basement too, on the uppermost shelf in what they used as a homemade wine storage area/homemade salami drying room. I never put anything in there. but- while cleaning up cobwebs and stuff I found it. Older people hide money in houses. They did not trust banks. There may have been more. I am not Martha Stewart, so its possible there was more all over. I did not have time to look though. I found it all cleaning on the day of the move.

I tried to get a hold of the former owners, but they had moved to a retirement community in nevada and when I called that place the wife had died and the husband had moved. I left my number but never got a call.

Luckily the new buyers did not care about the floorboard since they were carpeting over it anyway.

um…er…i did think about the haircut thing. ha! get out, you thought of that too??? hahahaha that’s funny. (i do care about my hair…i had it cut not too long ago, so I’ll just have to take my chances!)

 

[whatevergirl]

and hell…you are not nagging.
I already got the kids’ transcripts moving in the right direction…kids are getting out of school 2 weeks early…teachers will compile their grades without the last two weeks, so kids were happy about that, let me tell ya.

I set up the shut off time for utilities…have not checked out insurance yet, til I’m there…I have about 60 days to transfer plates…etc…

Need to buy new furniture…we want new for living room and den, so hopefully…we can find something soon when we get there.

Right now…the throwing out isn’t done yet. If you can imagine that…but then the packing still needs to be completed. It’s the most horrible task that I think we have been through–together. I mean, child labor was more my problem than his, however…that wasn’t as painful as packing…I mean it…!

 

[jules11]

I would have given them something were they my children (
or if i had any!)

My mum always says she had children not slaves - my brother and I were only ever expected to ensure our own rooms were neat - we werent expected to cook clean etc. We got pocket money which was based on age not housework and we got benefits for good school work.

My mum will often give my brother £5 for washing the car and although I was never expected or ordered to help I often change the beds, empty the dishwasher and help with the laundry.

Children are not MEANT to do the housework.

Each to their own through I guess.

With all due respect, I really cannot believe people seriously think this way…
This is terrible. Work is part of life. Being lazy (sloth) is one of the 7 deadly sins.
Sitting around while your mother and father do all the housework is sloth!
You teach a child nothing by letting them do nothing around the house, except laziness and selfishness.

Whoever makes mess in a house, does the housework and in my house, thats everyone that lives there!
The family is the first place children learn responsibility and how to live out in the big wide world! I completely disagree with you…The family is where they learn to work, to help, to do things without being told, to be unselfish, to be helpful. You don’t all of a sudden learn this stuff if you’ve never had to do it while growing up. Believe me I have 3 very lazy brothers that never did a thing!
Everyone lives in a house, everyone helps to clean it!

 

[Convert_in_99]

Will they clean the house too after we leave? Ok…too much to ask. Ya know, hellisreal…i asked my husband if that was a good idea…he thought it was–but the problem is…we started this all too late. we are moving next wed.

can you say…P-R-O-C-R-A-S-T-I-N-A-T-I-O-N?

That is a good idea, though.

Quick! Grab all the laundry baskets, school bags, suitcases, baskets, anything that holds junk and start piling away. No time for organization here. The goal is to get everything upstairs into the spare bedroom (in your case to the moving truck) as soon as humanly possible. At least that’s what we did everytime we got an unexpected visitor at my parents house! :blushing:

“whatevergirl” I know what you mean…we practiced the P-R-O-C-R-A-S-T-I-N-A-T-I-O-N thing at my parents house too. If we couldn’t find something we KNEW it was in that dreaded spare room…somewhere. If we couldn’t find it in an hour…we just gave up and say the room ate it!

Laundry too was always a challenge…all the laundry basket were full with junk…and no one wanted to deal with the junk. So we just carried whole loads of laundry around…and got pretty darn strong doing it!