I miss my mother

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whatevergirl said:
***Aw, it’s ok Belgarion. I’m okay now. :o :hug1: The support here today was really great. ***
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Really? Well I’m glad.
:grouphug:

I just cannot fathom that kind of situation…I need to hug my mom…

You tell your kids to hug you!!! Now! or I’ll send a million hobo spiders to them in a small box!! It’ll be like Arachnaphobia!! (sp?..:blushing:)
 
Belgarion said:
Really? Well I’m glad.
:grouphug:

I just cannot fathom that kind of situation…I need to hug my mom…

You tell your kids to hug you!!! Now! or I’ll send a million hobo spiders to them in a small box!! It’ll be like Arachnaphobia!! (sp?..:blushing:)
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***It was hard. It is hard. Life is not always easy…but I thank God every day for the blessings I have…I definitely had a wonderful mother’s day, no complaints!

No no spiders–please! :D:p***
 
whatevergirl said:
It was hard. It is hard. Life is not always easy…but I thank God every day for the blessings I have…I definitely had a wonderful mother’s day, no complaints!
I can imagine 😦
I’ve had bad dreams like that…
But I’m sincerely glad that your mother’s day was so wonderful!
(My mom got a hard-wood floor…or did I mention that :D)
No no spiders–please! :D:p
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…you sure?
:rotfl:
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whatevergirl said:
***Aw, thank you dixie eagle. As I mentioned above, I wonder sometimes if having my mother into my adult years would have been harder or easier to ‘let her go,’ than when I was a kid. I think as a kid, when something like this happens, it shapes your life – you sort of sculpt your identity around the loss of people, things, jobs…to this day, I still struggle with loss. But, through prayer and my love and trust in Christ, it isn’t a constant struggle anymore.

Hope you had a blessed mother’s day, yourself.

Thank you for the kind thoughts everyone…I have had a most blessed mother’s day…just hit these sad patches now and again. :o***
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I’m sorry, whatevergirl; I can’t imagine what it would have been like to grow up without my mother. Your story just made me call her though! 🙂

I always thought this was a beautiful poem, and hopefully you will like it too:

"Over this your white grave
the flowers of life in white–
so many years without you–
how many have passed out of sight?

Over this your white grave
covered for years, there is a stir
in the air, something uplifting
and, like death, beyond comprehension.

Over this your white grave
oh, mother, can such loving cease?
for all his filial adoration
a prayer:
Give her eternal peace–"

It was written by a then 19-year-old… his name? Karol Wojtyla. I don’t know if you have ever read much about John Paul II’s life, but he lost his mother at the age of 8, and before he was an adult, his elder brother and his father. The loss of his family profoundly influenced his awareness of a vocation, because he began to wonder why he was left alive. Anyway, I was trying to offer you some comfort in that a very great man also suffered a similar loss, and was shaped profoundly by it. Happy Mother’s Day, whatevergirl!
 
catherinette said:
I’m sorry, whatevergirl; I can’t imagine what it would have been like to grow up without my mother. Your story just made me call her though! 🙂

I always thought this was a beautiful poem, and hopefully you will like it too:

"Over this your white grave
the flowers of life in white–
so many years without you–
how many have passed out of sight?

Over this your white grave
covered for years, there is a stir
in the air, something uplifting
and, like death, beyond comprehension.

Over this your white grave
oh, mother, can such loving cease?
for all his filial adoration
a prayer:
Give her eternal peace–"

It was written by a then 19-year-old… his name? Karol Wojtyla. I don’t know if you have ever read much about John Paul II’s life, but he lost his mother at the age of 8, and before he was an adult, his elder brother and his father. The loss of his family profoundly influenced his awareness of a vocation, because he began to wonder why he was left alive. Anyway, I was trying to offer you some comfort in that a very great man also suffered a similar loss, and was shaped profoundly by it. Happy Mother’s Day, whatevergirl!
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***I knew about his mother but not about the rest of Pope JP2’s family. Wow, thank you for this, it has touched me more than you’ll know.

Oddly, I always identified with Abraham Lincoln…😊 He too lost his mother at a young age. I also lost my father before my mom, and seeing that my sister is 13 yrs older than me, and raised me, one would definitely think that God had a plan with all of this. :o I spent a long time angry with Him, but since asked for forgiveness for that…I no longer hold anger, just fond memories, mixed with some sadness on days like this. My children remind me of how fortunate I am to be a mom. I just wished I had known them longer, that’s all. So much they missed out on.

Thanks for your note here…it brightened my day. ❤️***
 
I’ve been in tears missing my mom today, too. I miss that she doesn’t know who I am. I miss that we can’t share memories together. I miss that everything that made her who she is is lost to her.

I went to see her a couple weeks ago. She accepted my presence, maybe even enjoyed my company. We played UNO for 3 hours (!!!) My effort to keep her up out of bed and her brain stimulated. To her, with no concept of time, it could have been five minutes. She would have kept playing as long as I kept dealing. I only stopped because my brain was fried and my butt was numb.

I don’t call anymore. She doesn’t understand how the telephone works, or why there is a voice talking in her ear. She doesn’t know me anyway. I still write, more for my own sake, to say that I faithfully write my mother, but the words on the card mean nothing to her.

I miss her so much. I miss her laugh, I miss her voice, I miss her telling me she loves me. I hate that her home is full of her momentos that she gathered during her travels, but she doesn’t remember that she used to travel. My brother is her caregiver. He took her into his home when she couldn’t care for herself any more. He cares for her 24/7. I know she cares for him and depends on him, but she refers to him as “that man I live with” Her son? her husband? her father? just a nice man? He emailed me a couple nights ago. She was calling him “Daddy”

I will mourn her death. I will be sad when she dies. But I know she will be in heaven with all her memories and abilities. And I don’t know if I will miss her any more than I already do.
 
Arlene said:
I’ve been in tears missing my mom today, too. I miss that she doesn’t know who I am. I miss that we can’t share memories together. I miss that everything that made her who she is is lost to her.

I went to see her a couple weeks ago. She accepted my presence, maybe even enjoyed my company. We played UNO for 3 hours (!!!) My effort to keep her up out of bed and her brain stimulated. To her, with no concept of time, it could have been five minutes. She would have kept playing as long as I kept dealing. I only stopped because my brain was fried and my butt was numb.

I don’t call anymore. She doesn’t understand how the telephone works, or why there is a voice talking in her ear. She doesn’t know me anyway. I still write, more for my own sake, to say that I faithfully write my mother, but the words on the card mean nothing to her.

I miss her so much. I miss her laugh, I miss her voice, I miss her telling me she loves me. I hate that her home is full of her momentos that she gathered during her travels, but she doesn’t remember that she used to travel. My brother is her caregiver. He took her into his home when she couldn’t care for herself any more. He cares for her 24/7. I know she cares for him and depends on him, but she refers to him as “that man I live with” Her son? her husband? her father? just a nice man? He emailed me a couple nights ago. She was calling him “Daddy”

I will mourn her death. I will be sad when she dies. But I know she will be in heaven with all her memories and abilities. And I don’t know if I will miss her any more than I already do.
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***I thought I wouldn’t cry anymore today.
I am sorry. :console: Let’s pray for one another, ok? ***
 
Awww Sharon… :hug1:

This has been a strange year for me because it is the first Mother’s Day since my mother died. Days like this kind of make me feel more numb than sad, I guess because I’m not quite ready to feel all the feelings yet. But I feel so lucky and blessed to have had my mother for 50 years and to have spent my 50th birthday with her last summer while she was in remission from her cancer and feeling well. I feel sad for you not having had all the memories of times spent with Mom and for your children for not having all those memories of Grandma. But I’m sure your mother has been looking out for you all these years. I don’t know what heaven is like but I can’t help but think that God tasks us to pray for the family members here on earth.

From what I can tell, you are a living tribute to your mother. One of the things I’ve heard Dr. Laura say is that the way to honor a parent is not to do things for the parent but to do the good things for one’s own children what the parent did for you. I’m pretty sure you are doing just that.

Today my husband, two of his sibs, and two of my children went to visit my MIL who is in the hospital. We had an ice cream party. I feel a bit sad that I didn’t get a chance to go out to the cemetery to put flowers on my Mom’s grave but knowing my mother she would have been upset if I had picked her grave over my living MIL. I was so pleased with my children because they willingly came along even though they’ve had some clashes with MIL in the past. I didn’t get to see my other daughter because she had to get in some teaching hours at her university but she did call to wish me a happy Mother’s Day. I guess I’m like my mother because I would have been upset if my daughter had skipped out on her responsibilities in order to come home and see me.

Happy Mother’s Day, all you Mom’s in heaven.
 
whatevergirl said:
II wanted to offer up my prayers to all of you whose mothers are deceased. …*** I’m surprised after 30 years, I can still cry in missing my mother, on Mother’s Day.***
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How sweet of you to offer up prayers for others while you’re feeling sad.

I’m surprised at still missing my mom too. It usually hits me when preparing for special family celebrations that I know she would have loved to attend. It’s kind of nice to read others expressing similar feelings of loss because I thought it was just me being overly emotional.
 
I’d just like to say, as well as praying for those who’ve lost their mothers, we should also pray for those mothers who’ve lost their children. My brother’s first wife was an only child, and when she died, her parents were naturally devastated. I’ve lost touch with them, but I used to send them flowers on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, because I can’t imagine how much pain they go through on those days waiting for a call that can never come. I wonder, Whatevergirl… if you have time to spare, it might be a wonderful thing to “adopt” an elderly member of the community, especially one who’s lost a child. It’s just a thought I had as I read your post.
 
I understand. I never had an adult discussion or a cuppa with my Mum. She didn’t get to meet my husband or my boys, and I often have thought, “Mum would have enjoyed this!”
She died 44 years ago leaving nine children ranging up from four years old. And yes, sometimes I can still smile over her ways, and still shed a few tears!

I think all of us who have lost our mothers and our mothers in law and grandmothers, think tenderly of them, don’t we! And yes, on Mothers’ Day…
 
I am fortunate to still have my mother with me. So yesterday I told her I was ever so lucky that God chose her to be my mother. I went out and bought a real pretty plant I will plant in my yard, so even though I don’t see her as often as I would like, I will have “her plant” to remind me everyday of God’s infinite wisdom.
Sharon, I don’t know if you would remember what kind of plants your mom enjoyed, but maybe getting something “just for mom” would be a comfort.

Kathy
 
whatevergirl said:
***I am having a beautiful and blessed day, today…I am so grateful to have such wonderful kids, and a great husband. I do miss my mom though. 😦 To never buy my own mother a mother’s day card all these years, it stings. To not have a mother to wish happy mother’s day to, or visit–it still stings. It still hurts.

It has been 30 years since I’ve seen my mother. She died when I turned 10. She died two days before Mother’s day, and I am feeling a little melancholy today. I miss her.

I wanted to offer up my prayers to all of you whose mothers are deceased. May you remember the good memories with them, and know that our Mother Mary in heaven is praying for you, and loves you. She is our Mother, too, and I’m so thankful to know her.

Anyways, just wanted to share. I’m surprised after 30 years, I can still cry in missing my mother, on Mother’s Day. 😦

God bless,
Sharon***
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I know what you mean! It’s been three years since my mom died and I miss her so very much. Our oldest had her first Communion yesterday, so bitter sweet! I know mom was watching over her, but I wish she could have been there with us.
I did buy her roses and put them next to her picture and wished her a Happy Mother’s Day. She still my best friend…our conversations are just a bit more one sided now:) I get peace from knowing she is not suffering anymore and that she is watching us and praying for us everyday.
 
***Katie, that is a great idea…she loved lilies, so maybe I will buy some and keep them around the house, as beautiful reminders. Thank you.

happymommy, your post is so dear, I’m sorry too for your loss. What a nice relationship you had with your mother.

Thanks for all of your support everyone…***
 
Sharon~You’ve become what appears to be a warm, compassionate, intelligent, responsible woman and loving mother even without the benefit of a role-model during some of your formative years. It sounds like what you do remember of your mom was a lovely example, and it speaks highly of your character that you were able to incorporate your mom’s example of faith into your life~esp. as a mom yourself now!

I’m coming at this topic from the opposite angle. I have a mother-very much alive-with whom I have never had a particularly close, warm or pleasant relationship. I’m trying to chip away at the distance and, yes, resentment I’ve held onto for years and to focus instead on recognizing (with benefit of a mom’s perpsective) all the things my mother sacrificed for my benefit and the important things she did teach me. She’s an honorable, accomplished woman with many admirable traits. However, she can also be quite rigid and become withdrawn/cold when there is a difference of opinion and things don’t go her way. I don’t know if we’ll ever be particularly close, but I do thank God for the gift of my MIL–who is an angel and the loving, supportive mother I never had.

Hope you had a GREAT M.D.!
 
I’m so sorry whatevergirl. :bighanky: :console: I have almost lost my mother a few times, one time recently we thought for sure was the end. It was the same year that “Christmas Shoes” came out and that was about a boy who lost his mother at Christmas time. I still get the shivers when I hear that song because we thought we’d never have Christmas with her again. I don’t know how long we’ll be blessed with her presence but we know that every day is a gift from God to just have her here with us. The end is going to be so hard, but like Eucharisted said, it is just the beginning of her new life with God. My mom will be SO happy, she’s so close to Him. I imagine yours is too. I hope and pray that all the loved ones she left behind received huge hugs from Mary this Mother’s Day. I know your mom was hugging you too and praying on behalf of all her children before the throne of God so that you may all be together again in heaven. 🙂
 
***Island, I’m sorry things are a little strained between your mom and you. I’ll keep you both in my prayers…

Convert–thank you for your reply, too.

I have good days, and bad…the bad are few and far between. What my parents’ deaths left me with pretty much my entire adult life up until maybe 8 years ago…is a fear of loss. Fear of commitment (largely why I wanted out of my marriage when I did)…fear of commiting myself to a job…much of what I have done in life has been halted halfway through, due to the fear of it not lasting. I freelanced for a while, I wrote a children’s book, and was gungho and then gave up…I am better now, and see things through, but I still have days when I feel that tinge of fear…like I’m going to lose something.

What loss like this teaches a person is that God is the only constant in this changing world. People, jobs, things are fleeting…temporary…but God is always with us, now and into eternity. It is a comfort when one struggles with the fear of losing someone or something…truth is, this life is fleeting, but eternity isn’t.***
 
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