May God bless you and lead you to the right person. You are not the first (by a long shot) to be in your situation.
I don’t know if you have a Bible or not, but in Acts Chapter 9 is the story of the Conversion of Saul. I’ll just tell it briefly in case you don’t have access to a Bible.
Back in the very early days of the Church, shortly after the Ascension of Jesus, the Church came under persecution from the Temple leaders. This lead to the stoning of Stephen, who was the first martyr. Now at that stoning, a young man was present, holding the cloaks of those who were throwing the rocks at Stephen and approving of what was going on. His name was Saul of Tarsus.
Saul was a Pharisee, so he was well educated and extremely zealous for God. So he went to the Temple leaders and asked for permission to persecute the Christians. Permission was granted, and he set out for Damascus. "On his journey, as he was nearing Damascus, a light from the sky suddenly flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to him, ‘Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?’ He said, "who are you, sir?’ The reply came, ‘I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. Now get up and go into the city and you will be told what you must do.’ The men who were traveling with him stood speechless, for they heard the voice but could see no one. Saul got up from the ground, but when he opened his eyes he could see nothing; so they led him by the hand and brought him to Damascus. For three days he was unable to see, and he neither ate nor drank.
There was a disciple in Damascus named Ananias, and the Lord said to him in a vision, ‘Ananial.’ He answered, ‘Here I am, Lord.’ The Lord said to him, ‘Get up and go to the street called Straight and ask at the house of Judas for a man from Tarsus named Saul. He is there praying, and [in a vision] he has seen a man named Ananias come in and lay [his] hands on him, that he may regain his sight.’ But Ananias replied, 'Lord, I have heard from may sources abouth this man, what evil things he has done to your holy ones in Jerusalem. And here he has authouity from the chief priests to imprison all who call upon your name. But the Lord said to him, 'Go, for this man is a chosen instrument of mine to carry my name before Gentiles, kings, and Israelites, and I willshow him what he will have to suffer for my name. So Ananias went and entered the house; laying his hand on him, he said, ‘Saul, my brother, the Lord has sent me, Hesus who appeared to you on the way by which you came, that you may regain your sight and be filled with the holy Spirit.’ Immediately things like scales fell from his eyes and he regained his sight. He got up and was baptized, and when he had eaten, he recovered his strength." (Acts 9:3-19)
That man was St. Paul, who wrote most of the New Testament in the Bible. No one wanted to believe he was sincere at first, either. Ananias actually argued with Jesus about going to pray for him. Please stick with the Catholic Church. Don’t give up on us. I will pray to St. Paul that someone come to you to help you. As Catholics, we can ask all the Saints and Angels to help us. Baptists don’t have that. I came from a similar background and I am a convert to the Roman Catholic Church. Pray to St. Paul and ask him to pray for you. He will.
St. Paul, please send this dear soul a Father to lead and guide them into your Church. Protect and pray for them.
Kris
