I need a Damascus Road experience

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sdenko

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I’ve lost my faith, my depression is coming back and my life is a wreck and it feels like God is completely against me.

I’m so angry at him and I am so frustrated with myself.

But I desparately want to experience God, but I have no faith to fall back on.

I need to experience him in such a real way to know that he is here for me.

I need a Damascus Road reconversion experience…but I don’t even I have faith that God will do that.
 
Jesus please behold the desire this person has to find You. Please send Your Holy Spirit through others’ goodness and kindness.
Please accept the desire as a plea for Your Holy Spirit to touch this heart.
Please help this person to seek means of healing for this depression as depression can affect every aspect of life, thoughts, and hope.
 
Will pray for you. Sounds like the desire to be close to God is there. That’s a great thing. Praying for faith to grow…
 
Faith
Heavenly Father, we cannot endure prolonged or severe spiritual desolation without Your support. Please comfort us, and increase our faith. Jesus suffered doubt as we do when He cried out, “My God, My God, why have You abandoned Me?” We unite our doubt with His, for You look with silent pity and unspeakable love on Your Son. You know that Jesus, though sinless, chose to suffer with us, drinking the cup of our unloving choices.

Jesus, You say to me, “Take up your cross and follow Me!” “If you love me, keep my commandments.” I fix my eyes upon the bright scars of Your ransom for me. Why did You suffer so terribly for me who even now remain unconverted? Yet Your wounds, Your hands, Your heart and Your word are filled with promises that You desire to fulfil in me and in others.

Give us strength to bear doubt when it comes, our God, so that with Jesus we can say, “Father, into Your hands I commend my spirit”, thus joining with Him to death of unbelief and sin—into freedom of rising with Him into the glory of the redeemed spirit.
 
The very fact you’re posting here asking for prayers is a wonderful sign. Praying very hard for your intentions and that you may have peace and increased faith.

Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion — inexhaustible, look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us, that in difficult moments we might not despair nor become despondent, but with great confidence submit ourselves to Your holy will, which is Love and Mercy itself. Amen.
 
Dear sdenko

Coming here and asking for help, proves that you still have faith. Anyway I will be praying for you, that God will help you to get trough your struggles.

God bless you
TL
 
Mother Mary, please intercede with your divine Son for sdenko.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amonst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.
 
Read “Dark Night of the Soul” by the mystic Saint John of the Cross.
 
O Silent God
God, we pray to You for others and ourselves, and sometimes it seems, if only for a time, a time of awful pain and loneliness, that no one is listening, that You are not there.

Many have turned away, disappointed and bitter, that You seem not to have answered their urgent prayer, their painful need for self and for others. There is no satisfactory human answer to their challenge, whatever one might say of Your ways, Your time, because their anguish or their anger is the reality they experience.

Dear God, You need no reminder, but my humanness leads me to remind You that we are human in our minds and hearts and bodies. We have little or no actual sense or knowledge of ourselves as spirit. If You do not touch us as human beings living in a physical world that we acutely experience, then who can blame anyone for losing faith and hope in You. I cannot blame those who do…but I pray for them with all my heart and life.

O silent God let us hear Your voice in the words of others, and let us be Your love spoken to them. Yet may I ask that You also speak directly to their hearts and minds with unmistakeable Love even where we cannot detect the action of Your Spirit in others. Speak to them in their last moments, if not before.

Please be mindful of our needs, and nurture us as we pray and seek Your healing and care. Embrace all who have lost their hope in God and prayer.
 
Prayer to St. Paul
Taken from the 1950 Raccolta.

O glorious St. Paul, who from a persecutor of Christianity, didst become a most ardent Apostle of zeal; and who to make known the Savior Jesus Christ unto the ends of the world didst suffer with joy imprisonment, scourgings, stonings, shipwrecks and persecutions of every kind, and in the end didst shed thy blood to the last drop, obtain for us the grace to receive, as favors of the Divine mercy, infirmities, tribulations, and misfortunes of the present life, so that the vicissitudes of this our exile will not render us cold in the service of God, but will render us always more faithful and more fervent.

V. Pray for us, Saint Paul the Apostle,
R. That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ. Amen.

Let us pray

O God, Who hast taught the multitude of the Gentiles by the preaching of blessed Paul the Apostle: grant unto us, we beseech Thee, that we who keep his memory sacred, may feel the might of his intercession before Thee. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.
 
Lord, give sdenko a passionate desire for holiness. No, give him a desire for you. Amen

You may sense darkness around you but, it is in you. It takes prayer, discipline and openness to God to become faithful. I don’t remember where I heard this but there is a saying, “Make peace with yourself and heaven and earth will make peace with you.”
I am praying for you. Don’t give in. Read Colossians 1:13-14
 
Romans 10:17 says that faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God.

Pull out your bible and read it every day. God’s word will help increase your faith in God. I’m praying for you!
 
In that awful period when I couldn’t find answers to my questions and God seemed not to exist, in a flood of anguish I wrote the following

Loss of faith
What is this lethargy,
this tomb-cold, sad complacency
that binds me to the physical.
That allows no spiritual flight or insight—
no vision of a world that I had glimpsed and felt—
Divine world of mystery and truth.

Am I dead to thus exist
abandoned by the fire that once
would blaze my heart to heaven’s light?

Then bury me!
For this is not to live.
And I am not myself.
I have no soul, no God, no peace…

Hand—hits stone and tingles pain—
atoms conglomerate,
to soon disintegrate in death…1967

It’s not the end of the story, dear one. But I used to pray
“Power of Goodness and Love, if Your exist, please find Yourself to me. I can’t find You.
Love Yourself in me. I can’t love You.”

And I kind of clung to a modification of St Therese’s prayer that she took from St John of the Cross

“That love may be repaid by love alone, Love of God be my love.
Let Your thoughts be my thoughts
Your ways my ways.”

Love, it didn’t give me satisfaction. I just stuck with it, but with a determination not to ‘kid myself’ with the youthful determination not to succumb to any self-deception. I used to kneel down in the dark at bed-time and pray that to a God I hoped was there.
I used to stretch my being out in the darkness as if groping for some touch of God.

When it did come it was totally unexpected. When I rose that morning I had no idea I would have gone to Confession and returned to the Church with faith.

But, it doesn’t always happen thus.
Don’t give up, keep reaching for God as I did. Trishie
 
You Just May Be Experiencing that now…For it is in your darkest that the light will shine through…I have at times felt so distressed about finances, relationships or some such life struggle and noticed during these bleakest of times is when God shines through…You still have an inkling of faith to ask for prayer…as for your depression, i have heard alls depression is ,is anger inside turned outward ,so i suggest you lamblast yourself in prayer and positive sayings…just saturate yourself with these thoughts, as you do the dark ones ,and with prayer your world will turn around…also, depression is focusing on oneself too much…Get out , volunteer , help someone and you know what, your suddenly focusing on someone else and doing something good to boot…May God guide you, and keep you strong…He is your anchor ,your rock and your strength…Peace be with you, for you are never, ever alone…With Warmth & Aloha, LynneMarie
 
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