I need a direct answer from a Catholic perspective

[goyanks113]

Hello all,

Let me begin by saying that I am 14 years old and a churchgoing, Catholic school student. I have never seen a woman totally nude.

But I almost feel like it’s a necessity to see the naked female body, from a scientific and a cultural perspective, even though today’s culture is so sexualized and it’s disgusting. Anyway, I have seen drawings and sketches and stuff but they were crudely drawn and only the real thing can show me.

I am guilty of lustful thoughts and I frequently think about sex and nudity and the like, but as I said I have never looked at real pornography.

But sometimes it just gets to be too much and the urge to just peek gets overwhelming, but I am always thinking about how it’s a mortal sin and stuff.

But I feel like if I looked at a few pictures of a nude woman I wouldn’t have so many impure thoughts and I would pledge to never do it again from then on.

The Catechism defines pornography as “the display of intimate real or simulated sexual acts to a third party.” But if I just looked at a few pictures, is it really pornography by definition? What if it’s just a woman standing there without any clothes on? Is that a sexual act? I know it was made with sexual intentions, but…

Can someone just tell me what to do? If I looked at a few things (not displaying sexual acts) would it be a mortal sin? Would it be okay if I absolutely promised to never do it again? Please cite any sources and you are welcome to tell me about your experiences when you were my age. Thanks in advance!

 

[kage_ar]

Have you never been to a museum? Never taken a class in Art?

Some of the greatest works of art are depections of the nude human form. Ask your parents to take you to the museum.

Heck, never taken a biology course?

Every biology book I’ve ever seen has anotomical illustrations.

Viewing the human form can be done in appreaction of the beauty, as in art or can be used to educate ourselves.

When you just want to see a nekkid lady, that is lust.

 

[tassitus]

…Would it be okay if I absolutely promised to never do it again?

If it is okay, why would you need to promise not do it again?

Nuh-uh. No, sir.

This, right here, is your conscience telling you that what you really want to do (all young men your age go through this, you know) is NOT okay. Listen to it.

And, find a priest you trust and talk to him about it, both in and outside of the confessional.

Finally, it is a very, very admirable thing for you to hold back despite the pressure you are feeling. And to come on this forum for advice surely means you want to do the right thing. We are very honored to have you on the forum.

Peace to you.

 

[1ke]

Hello all,

Let me begin by saying that I am 14 years old and a churchgoing, Catholic school student. I have never seen a woman totally nude.

Well, that’s good to know.

But I almost feel like it’s a necessity to see the naked female body, from a scientific and a cultural perspective,

This is total bull and you know it. There is no reason for you to look at a female in the nude unless you are her husband or her doctor.

I am guilty of lustful thoughts and I frequently think about sex and nudity and the like, but as I said I have never looked at real pornography.

At your age, your body is changing, your hormones are in high gear and yes you start to look at the opposite sex differently. However, this is when it becomes even more important for you to develop the characteristics of a Godly man.

Go to www.pureloveclub.com and check out Jason Evert’s books for teen boys regarding sexuality.

But I feel like if I looked at a few pictures of a nude woman I wouldn’t have so many impure thoughts and I would pledge to never do it again from then on.

You asked for a direct answer, so I shall give you one.

Giving in to temptation and sin does not *lessen *the desire to do it again-- it *increases *it.

“Just one” cigarette, drink, joint, nude picture, or whatever the vice is-- that harms your soul and weakens you.

You are basically trying to rationalize what you *want *to do, rather than continuing to do what you know is right.

The Catechism defines pornography as “the display of intimate real or simulated sexual acts to a third party.” But if I just looked at a few pictures, is it really pornography by definition?

Yes, it is.

What if it’s just a woman standing there without any clothes on? Is that a sexual act? I know it was made with sexual intentions, but…

Yes, yes, and yes again. It is pornography and it is wrong.

Can someone just tell me what to do?

Say a prayer whenever your mind starts leading you in this direction. Go to Adoration. And, visit the www.pureloveclub.com website.

If I looked at a few things (not displaying sexual acts) would it be a mortal sin?

Yes. Pornography is grave matter, which you already know.

Would it be okay if I absolutely promised to never do it again?

No. You would then be committing two sins-- the sin of viewing pornography and the sin of presumption. That means doing something you know is wrong and then presuming God will forgive you. If you know it’s wrong, you should not do it.

Please cite any sources and you are welcome to tell me about your experiences when you were my age. Thanks in advance!

You have already cited the correct source in the Catechism.

Yes, the culture will tempt you very much and it may seem that “everyone” is doing it. But, that is not true.

So, would you sit down and look at these nudie pictures with Jesus? Hmmm… I don’t think so. So, if something you are contemplating doing is not something you would do **with **Jesus, then don’t do it.

 

[TLDenmark]

Dear goyanks113

You are truly one lucky human being, still possessing such a tremendous gift of innocence . A lot of people will tell you differently, they will be bragging about their own “accomplishments” in the field of “woman-hunting” and tell you wild tales about the wonders that comes from gratifying the senses. In fact there will be some truth in this, but it will be truth mixed with lies. Woman are wonderful creatures worthy of being pursued, but only in a self-giving way that truly honours who and what they are. The gift of innocence will help you do this, looking at porn or seeking out quick satisfactions will not.

Try to have a look at this forum, and read the multitude of posts about men who struggle with getting rid of the habit of watching porn or about woman who have been hurt by boyfriends/husbands being unable (or unwilling) to stop the habit. It is heartbreaking to read, but I can tell you from personal experience that it can be a nightmare to live trough. You see I am a convert to the catholic faith, with an all to sinful past. One of the consequences of my past, is that I am a recovering porn addict. Mind you I said recovering, because I am far from cured and still suffering tremendous struggles from the damage that have been done to my soul. Truthfully I would give my right arm, if it meant going back to the innocence you now enjoy and that I remember once having.

You wrote in your post, that looking at a naked woman might release the tension you are having. However my experience tells me that human beings are creatures of habit, and that we acquire our character traits trough our actions. In this respect porn is really not that different from anything else, the only difference being that the associated pleasure of sexual arousal have a nasty tendency to strengthen the habit even more. So from that perspective, it is doubtful that looking at the picture will do anything to help you. In the best case scenario you will end up thinking either “what is all the fuss about” or “poor woman”, leaving your soul innocent. However since you mentioned that you were already plagued by impure thoughts and a strong urge to have a look, I would imagine that that is not a probable outcome. Instead it is likely you will feel some degree of arousal from what you see, and in your case it will properly be mixed with some sadness/guilt created by treating another human being as little more than a piece of meat. Afterwards the craving will properly come back a bit stronger than before (since now you have an image, to go with your fantasies), but if you are “lucky” the guilt will keep you from ever looking at porn again. Not exactly a nice place to be in, better to not have looked, but I guess it is still better than some of the alternatives.

Finally you have the worst case scenario, the one that happened to me, where the arousal end up getting to you. In that case you will end up watching porn again, and again, and again, etc., and if you are not careful about stopping in time (either by yourself or by having your parents finding out and stopping you) you risk becoming truly addicted and having your mind polluted with pornographic images popping up in everyday life. At least that was the outcome for this all to curious fool when he looked at his first pornographic image, masturbated for the first time, had his first sexual experience (outside of marriage), etc.

In the end the choice is yours, hopeful you will understand how blessed you are . Anyhow I will pray for you, and would truly appreciate it if you would take a little time to pray for those of us who were too foolish to understand the value of what you still possess.

God bless you
TL

 

[teme]

God Bless you goyanks113!

Let’s think about this syllogism here:

You are 14, and therefore not married.
Married men can see their spouse nude
You have no spouse
Therefore, you should not see anyone nude

It sounds a bit like you want to see it in hopes it will calm your lusting. Let me tell you bluntly, it won’t. God created the female body in such a wonderful way that their form is desirable to their spouse. Once you “just peek”, then you’ll want to just watch it moving, watch it in sexual interaction, and then see the real thing, then touch the real thing.

There are many things I want to see also. I’d love to go to the Vatican. But I don’t have the funds or a babysitter for my 4 kids, so I can’t go. When the time is right in my life, I’ll go - but for now I’ll have to wait. Of course, sexuality and travel are very different - but the fact remains that there is a time for everything (Ecclesiastes), and my time for travel has not yet come - and neither has your time to glory in the wonder of the female nude.

 

[Ruthie]

1ke’s morals are right on, so I won’t repeat them. But I want to make another point about porn.

The women in pornography are not realistic at all; most of them have had surgery to enhance various body parts. They will also be wearing heavy makeup and ridiculous high heels, and doing other things designed *purely *to make them objects of lust. And remember that this industry is degrading them and putting them where God does NOT want us women to be. We are ***not ***base creatures whose whole idea of life is to have sex as many times as possible with as many men - and women - as possible. That is what pornography promotes. That is abuse.

Plus, a pregnant porn star will not get work when she starts to show, so having abortion after abortion is par for the course for the women being abused in this industry.

Do you want to participate in an immoral, abusive industry like that? And yes, even if you get the pictures for free, you are still supporting that slice of Hell.

No. Don’t look. Keep it for your wedding night, and your wife will be the most beautiful and sexy woman in the world for you, not some porn star.

God bless you deeply,

Ruthie

 

[turtle18]

Hello all,

But I almost feel like it’s a necessity to see the naked female body, from a scientific and a cultural perspective, even though today’s culture is so sexualized and it’s disgusting. Anyway, I have seen drawings and sketches and stuff but they were crudely drawn and only the real thing can show me.

Come on you are kidding right? If you really want to look at the female body type from a scientific & cultural perspective you would look at the whole range of female body types. How about a fat female? How about one who is too thin with no breasts? How about an old female? How about a female with a lot of scars or one with a lot of stretch marks? Because this is how the majority of female bodies are! Female bodies come in all shapes & sizes.

 

[BayernAnhaenger]

Hello all,

Let me begin by saying that I am 14 years old and a churchgoing, Catholic school student. I have never seen a woman totally nude.

But I almost feel like it’s a necessity to see the naked female body, from a scientific and a cultural perspective, even though today’s culture is so sexualized and it’s disgusting. Anyway, I have seen drawings and sketches and stuff but they were crudely drawn and only the real thing can show me.

I am guilty of lustful thoughts and I frequently think about sex and nudity and the like, but as I said I have never looked at real pornography.

But sometimes it just gets to be too much and the urge to just peek gets overwhelming, but I am always thinking about how it’s a mortal sin and stuff.

But I feel like if I looked at a few pictures of a nude woman I wouldn’t have so many impure thoughts and I would pledge to never do it again from then on.

The Catechism defines pornography as “the display of intimate real or simulated sexual acts to a third party.” But if I just looked at a few pictures, is it really pornography by definition? What if it’s just a woman standing there without any clothes on? Is that a sexual act? I know it was made with sexual intentions, but…

Can someone just tell me what to do? If I looked at a few things (not displaying sexual acts) would it be a mortal sin? Would it be okay if I absolutely promised to never do it again? Please cite any sources and you are welcome to tell me about your experiences when you were my age. Thanks in advance!

I’m guessing you’re male.

Read this post (it’s a good site):
artofmanliness.com/2008/10/07/3-man-killers-sex/

Most important part:
I once read a proverb that told the tale of a young man who found himself walking down the street of the town’s seductress. On cue she came out of her house to meet him as he passed by; she was dressed in revealing clothing and explained that her husband was away on business. “Come in, let’s enjoy ourselves ’til morning,” she offered. With her smooth words and seductive tone she got him to come inside. The proverb ended with the following words:

All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose till an arrow pierces his liver, like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life.

As my friend and I were discussing this I commented that he was so foolish to go inside the house when he knew full well what was going to happen. “You’re wrong,” challenged my friend, “he was foolish the second that he stepped down her street.”

End quote.

Do not walk down that pathway. If you’re guilty of lust, and all that jazz, seeing a naked chick will not help, and will only lead you down the pathway of porn and lust, and etc, etc. All that stuff Satan loves, and drives you from God.

Prayers.

 

[Cat]

Please let me say just this (I’m a 51 year old mom, BTW).

You’re a normal boy. Very, very normal and very, very good in the sight of God. HE made you this way–a boy becoming a man with all the desires of a man. That’s GOOD and NORMAL!!! Don’t beat yourself up so bad. Talk to your priest and he will tell you the same thing–normal, normal, normal and good, good, good!

Hopefully this desire or craving, if you would rather call it that, for a woman will lead you to seek out a godly girl, date her (or court her, whatever you prefer), choose to be in love with her forever, MARRY her, and have children with her. That’s why God gave you all these hormones and desires and cravings–to encourage you to LOOK for a woman and marry her and give her children and take care of her and those children. These things are all GOOD!

Hopefully this desire for a woman will NOT lead you to have sex with every girl you meet, look at porn, masturbate, practice homosexual acts, become involved in the world of sexual perversions, become a rapist, obsess with your own appearance, become effeminate and deny your manhood and sexuality, etc. All of these things are sins.

It’s up to you to choose how you will use the manhood that God is giving you. Choose wisely.

I emphasized the last sin in my list above–becoming effeminate and denying your manhood and sexuality–because I have seen young men do this in a misguided, pathetic attempt to “flee immorality” and be “pure.” The Bible says that effeminacy in men is a sin, too! Don’t go that route, please. Priests are celibate, yet they are sexual beings and they are masculine, not effeminate–ask them to help you be a sexual male without sinning.

 

[nablaise]

Hello all,

Let me begin by saying that I am 14 years old and a churchgoing, Catholic school student. I have never seen a woman totally nude.

But I almost feel like it’s a necessity to see the naked female body, from a scientific and a cultural perspective, even though today’s culture is so sexualized and it’s disgusting. Anyway, I have seen drawings and sketches and stuff but they were crudely drawn and only the real thing can show me.

I am guilty of lustful thoughts and I frequently think about sex and nudity and the like, but as I said I have never looked at real pornography.

But sometimes it just gets to be too much and the urge to just peek gets overwhelming, but I am always thinking about how it’s a mortal sin and stuff.

But I feel like if I looked at a few pictures of a nude woman I wouldn’t have so many impure thoughts and I would pledge to never do it again from then on.

The Catechism defines pornography as “the display of intimate real or simulated sexual acts to a third party.” But if I just looked at a few pictures, is it really pornography by definition? What if it’s just a woman standing there without any clothes on? Is that a sexual act? I know it was made with sexual intentions, but…

Can someone just tell me what to do? If I looked at a few things (not displaying sexual acts) would it be a mortal sin? Would it be okay if I absolutely promised to never do it again? Please cite any sources and you are welcome to tell me about your experiences when you were my age. Thanks in advance!

Hello. Yes, when I was at your age I had thoughs like that. Then I read a quote from St. Augustine which I will never forget. I new that I would never forget it even the day I read it because it made perfect sense even then from little reasoning I was making myself.

He said something like this: “we are thiefts from God and we still what we have already”.

The fact is, you will not see anything you don’t already know. You will only be desapointed with what you will see. Your desire come from the idolization today’s culture made out of women nudity. So a person who have not seen it can think that there is something unbelievable they are missing. The fact is there is absolutely nothing you are missing. As let your peace stay with you.

When people keep pushing the envelope, as I said they get desapointed, then they can’t believe that they are really desapointed, they convince themselves that they are probably still missing some more thing, and on, and on, until they can’t stop. This has a name: perversion. It works with all senses. It can make people mad and drive them to comitting suicide. Porn is one of the biggest perversion; people just can’t get enough of sex, they try everything, add drugs to go beyond human limits, at the end, many just commit suicide. Those who are lucky stop earlier and seek help. So dont’ even think about that ‘I promise only once and then I will stop" that’s a plain lie from the devil, he probably can’t believe you have escaped him so far. Keep your grounds and stay on the surface, don’t try to approch the whole and to look in the pit, you will certainly fall if you attempt to do so…
Stay in the garden and enjoy your freedom. Those who have fallen spent their time in deep darkness, cursing, smoking, and drinking, trying everything to escape the reality they are in. Courageous one are making effort quietly trying to come back to the land of the living with the help of God. You who are still safe, dont’ listen to the Serpent. Don’t entertain it in your heart, or it will bite you…

So trust the people who have spoken to you already and trust God. As about seeing the real thing. You can be sure that you will see it one way or an other. In fact, it is amazing that you haven’t seen it yet. But let it be by accident. And let it find you well prepared. Because if you are not prepared you could go nuts.
Think about all people around you who have seen more than that and probably still does but who don’t seem any different than you. As most says, some actually go insane out of trying to find something divine about nudity but cant’ find it. THERE IS ONLY ONE GOD. Listen to the Church our Mother and you will be at peace.

Today I had been thinking about original nakedness in Genesis. And you seem like you are in a sense in a state of naked without shame but you are trying to eat the fruit because you feel something will change. As I indicated, you will be desapointed, and feel humiliated. Translation: you will know that you are naked and you will try to cover yourself. So dear brother. keep your innocence. Pray to the blessed mother to protect you. She is amazing. I am sure she brought you here and is around you and have kept you in her prayers to her son so far.

God bless you

 

[Gwyn]

Strangely, I had a conversation along the same lines with my son (9 years old) last night. We discuss sex and things that go on at his school openly at home. He was telling us how some of his classmates found some books in the school library (all boys school) that had pictures of naked women and they were all looking at them. He said he did not look but if he did, would that be a sin? Had to remind him that a couple months ago when we were discussing babies and sex, I showed him the Human Body book and there were pictures of naked men and women. If he was looking at the pictures from a scientific perspective, not a sin, else yes. Also, mentioned to him yes at this age you boys are curious and will be tempted by these things but not a good idea to be looking.
Also, last week the two of us spent the day at the Art Gallery (AGO), and my son was shocked at the amount of nudity there.

 

[basilisk]

Had to remind him that a couple months ago when we were discussing babies and sex, I showed him the Human Body book and there were pictures of naked men and women. If he was looking at the pictures from a scientific perspective, not a sin, else yes.​

Also, last week the two of us spent the day at the Art Gallery (AGO), and my son was shocked at the amount of nudity there.

So, in your estimation, artistic nudes are sinful to look at? Art has no intrinsic value, but science does? That’s certainly not a Catholic perspective… Has the Church condemned Michaelangelo’s David?

 

[pierced77]

From one Yankee to another:
Reading your post reminded me of the story of Adam and Eve. They were tempted to eat from the forbidden fruit. They gave into their temptation and what happened to their lives? They wanted knowledge and became blinded by sin. Their sin did not make their lives happier or easier but the opposite. A pure heart shall see God.

It is satan that would say, “just one look is all you need.” The Truth is you would open a doorway to sin.

I congradulate you on your inquiry and will pray that you stand fast against temptation. May God continue to bless you and provide you with the grace to over come your temptations.

And one last point: Pray, especially the Rosary.

 

[Blade_and_Blood]

Dude, it’s just puberty. It’s perfectly natural for you to be curious.

But if it’s really bothering you, just remember that one day you will marry that special girl and watch her all you want. In the meantime, just concentrate on your studies and be a kid: Hang out with friends, find a hobby, play an instrument, have fun!

Ironically Yours, Blade and Blood