I need advice on a Nuptial Mass issue

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I would like to get married in the Church with a Catholic Nuptial Mass. The person that I would like to be my Matron of honor is a baptized Catholic, but she has fallen away from the Church and is no longer a practicing Catholic. I know she wouldn’t be able to sign the certificate as a witness, but can she still be my Matron of honor in a Nuptial Mass? :confused:
 
No problem about her being Matron or signing your certificate for that matter. Just be sure that she goes up for a blessing at Communion time rather than receiving the Eucharist.

Kathy
 
No problem about her being Matron or signing your certificate for that matter. Just be sure that she goes up for a blessing at Communion time rather than receiving the Eucharist.

Kathy
If the priest even allows that - some parishes don’t do the “blessing thing”.

I would also make it clear to the priest that she is no longer a practicing Catholic so he does not mistakenly assume she is able to receive Holy Communion. Typically they ask who in the wedding party can receive and who can’t. Gosh - at least I would hope they would ask and not just assume that everyone can!! :rolleyes:

~Liza
 
My maid of honor in our Catholic wedding was not even a baptized Christian. Discuss this with the priest who will be officiating… and congrats on your upcoming wedding!
 
My husband and I were married about a year and a half ago in a traditional Nuptial Mass and not one person in our bridal party was Catholic (with the exception of two flower girls) 🙂

We are both converts from protestant families and decided to have family serve as our wedding party, so that left the two of us, the two flower girls and about 3/4 of the guests to receive communion.

Both our Matron of Honor and Best Man were protestant and they received a blessing and signed the license, no problem.

We found that a great number of guests left our wedding with a changed view of the Catholic church and were at least ‘interested’ in what Catholics believe and teach, etc.

We had an amazing day and feel our guests, families, etc. did as well- I hope your wedding is amazing as well!
 
My DH and I are having our marriage convalidated in October, and my maid of honor is Protestant. It shouldn’t be an issue.
 
There is no requirement that you have to be a practicing Catholic to sign the certificate or be in the wedding party. I would encourage her to not receive, though. 👍
 
There is no requirement that you have to be a practicing Catholic to sign the certificate or be in the wedding party. I would encourage her to not receive, though. 👍
I think this depends on the priest and the diocese because mine were required to be confirmed Catholics who practice their faith… I had to get the priest to go to the diocese to allow me to have my dd as maid of honor because she was in confirmation prep at the time but not confirmed.

Check with your priest… tell him the truth so you don’t have issues right before the wedding.
 
I think this depends on the priest and the diocese because mine were required to be confirmed Catholics who practice their faith… I had to get the priest to go to the diocese to allow me to have my dd as maid of honor because she was in confirmation prep at the time but not confirmed.

Check with your priest… tell him the truth so you don’t have issues right before the wedding.
It really bugs me when they impose restrictions like that when there is no reason to do so. A witness is a witness is a witness. I could see if they said they had to be of ‘legal’ age but their religion is really irrelevant to their task.
 
It really bugs me when they impose restrictions like that when there is no reason to do so. A witness is a witness is a witness. I could see if they said they had to be of ‘legal’ age but their religion is really irrelevant to their task.
i agree; it makes no sense to make up rules that are not stated in the Church’s own canon law but reflect some personal preference. These are not godparents, for heaven’s sake.
 
I disagree that there is “no reason”. I don’t think that is looking at the positive nature of it.

In the Sacrament of Baptism and Confirmation, there must be a witness of some kind that sponsors a person. THey stand up to say that they will support the person in their faith.

Marriage is so difficult to live out, why shouldn’t there be witnesses to do the same? I understand that canon law does not require it, however, perhaps in their marriage prep in the diocese/parish, the clergy are seeing this idea as something of value. Asking people around them to be actual stand up witnesses that this couple is ready for the sacrament, and say that they will support them in prayer as they live it out. Perhaps this is a way of lessening the divorce rate.

I know that if I ever get married, I will not have “bridesmaids”. They will not be up there to look pretty. They will be people that have been praying for us and challening us in our marriage prep, and people who will continue to be giving us support once married. They would be able to be asked if we are ready for the sacrament.
 
I disagree that there is “no reason”. I don’t think that is looking at the positive nature of it.

In the Sacrament of Baptism and Confirmation, there must be a witness of some kind that sponsors a person. THey stand up to say that they will support the person in their faith.

Marriage is so difficult to live out, why shouldn’t there be witnesses to do the same? I understand that canon law does not require it, however, perhaps in their marriage prep in the diocese/parish, the clergy are seeing this idea as something of value. Asking people around them to be actual stand up witnesses that this couple is ready for the sacrament, and say that they will support them in prayer as they live it out. Perhaps this is a way of lessening the divorce rate.

I know that if I ever get married, I will not have “bridesmaids”. They will not be up there to look pretty. They will be people that have been praying for us and challening us in our marriage prep, and people who will continue to be giving us support once married. They would be able to be asked if we are ready for the sacrament.
I see your point, however, what about those who don’t really have good Catholic “witnesses” in their own life? I had a hard enough time choosing Godparents for my son, and the two I chose were hardly exemplary Catholics. My maid of honor, though not Catholic, has a strong relationship with Christ and would definitely pray for my marriage. As much as I’d love to see her Catholic, she’s a much better example of Christian living than my Cafeteria Catholic relatives.
 
Does anyone have something in writing from a church source regarding this ?
 
I disagree that there is “no reason”. I don’t think that is looking at the positive nature of it.

In the Sacrament of Baptism and Confirmation, there must be a witness of some kind that sponsors a person. THey stand up to say that they will support the person in their faith.

Marriage is so difficult to live out, why shouldn’t there be witnesses to do the same? I understand that canon law does not require it, however, perhaps in their marriage prep in the diocese/parish, the clergy are seeing this idea as something of value. Asking people around them to be actual stand up witnesses that this couple is ready for the sacrament, and say that they will support them in prayer as they live it out. Perhaps this is a way of lessening the divorce rate.

I know that if I ever get married, I will not have “bridesmaids”. They will not be up there to look pretty. They will be people that have been praying for us and challening us in our marriage prep, and people who will continue to be giving us support once married. They would be able to be asked if we are ready for the sacrament.
The tradition in the neck of the woods where I grew up was for fathers of the bride and groom to be the witnesses (or a close male relative if one or the other of the fathers was deceased). That changed when TV came along and we saw more Hollywood weddings.

Still, we didn’t pick witnesses based on anything more than friendship (my maid-of-honor) & blood (DH had his brother as best man). Neither was Catholic and the priest never asked. Neither had anything to offer of “support” or “witnessing” and neither has been around during our married life. That’s not why they were asked to be our witnesses anyway.
 
Does anyone have something in writing from a church source regarding this ?
Canon 1108.1 Only those marriages are valid which are contracted in the presence of the local Ordinary or parish priest or of the priest or deacon delegated by either of them, who, in the presence of two witnesses, assists, in accordance however with the rules set out in the following canons, and without prejudice to the exceptions mentioned in cann. 144, 1112.1, 1116 and 1127.2-3.

No mention at all of the religion of the witnesses. Here is a link to ALL of canon law as pertains to marriage:
catholicdoors.com/misc/marriage/canonlaw.htm
 
I disagree that there is “no reason”. I don’t think that is looking at the positive nature of it.

In the Sacrament of Baptism and Confirmation, there must be a witness of some kind that sponsors a person. THey stand up to say that they will support the person in their faith.

Marriage is so difficult to live out, why shouldn’t there be witnesses to do the same? I understand that canon law does not require it, however, perhaps in their marriage prep in the diocese/parish, the clergy are seeing this idea as something of value. Asking people around them to be actual stand up witnesses that this couple is ready for the sacrament, and say that they will support them in prayer as they live it out. Perhaps this is a way of lessening the divorce rate.

I know that if I ever get married, I will not have “bridesmaids”. They will not be up there to look pretty. They will be people that have been praying for us and challening us in our marriage prep, and people who will continue to be giving us support once married. They would be able to be asked if we are ready for the sacrament.
A very lovely idea; however, canon law does not dictate the religion of witnesses, merely that there be two witnesses, in addition to the officiant.

You are right in that more thorough marriage prep would be beneficial.
 
While it isn’t required that witnesses at Catholic weddings be practicing Catholics, traditionally the Church has always strongly encouraged having practicing, dedicated witnesses. Because marriage is a sacrament, and the wedding party is not homecoming court. The witnesses aren’t there just because the couple likes them a lot, or because they’ll look better in pictures, they’re there to offer their prayers and support, and to witness the sacrament. A non-Catholic does not see the marriage as a sacrament, he does not recognize that what he is witnessing is a sacrament.
 
While it isn’t required that witnesses at Catholic weddings be practicing Catholics, traditionally the Church has always strongly encouraged having practicing, dedicated witnesses. Because marriage is a sacrament, and the wedding party is not homecoming court. The witnesses aren’t there just because the couple likes them a lot, or because they’ll look better in pictures, they’re there to offer their prayers and support, and to witness the sacrament. A non-Catholic does not see the marriage as a sacrament, he does not recognize that what he is witnessing is a sacrament.
Hard to believe it encouraged such when even before the 1982 Code of Canon Law we weren’t even asked the religion of the witnesses. It’s still not part of the questions asked in our diocese, I often have to ask who the witnesses will be when I fill out the legal documents a few days before the wedding – priest doesn’t even ask.
 
It really bugs me when they impose restrictions like that when there is no reason to do so. A witness is a witness is a witness. I could see if they said they had to be of ‘legal’ age but their religion is really irrelevant to their task.
i agree; it makes no sense to make up rules that are not stated in the Church’s own canon law but reflect some personal preference. These are not godparents, for heaven’s sake.
Actually… I thought it was quite appropriate. First, I think it sets a good example for the best man and maid of honor, particularly if they are same age or younger. This way they learn about what is important… it isn’t the pretty dress or the party or the honeymoon… it is about the covenant between a man, a woman and God. Their witness is to the fact that we made that promise not only to each other but to God as well. That we did so without coercion or defect… so don’t you think they should know what they are witnessing as pertains to the beliefs of the Catholic Church in the matter of a sacramental marriage?
 
Hard to believe it encouraged such when even before the 1982 Code of Canon Law we weren’t even asked the religion of the witnesses. It’s still not part of the questions asked in our diocese, I often have to ask who the witnesses will be when I fill out the legal documents a few days before the wedding – priest doesn’t even ask.
My priest asked the religion of our maid of honor and best man when I was filling out the initial paperwork.
 
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