I need advice, please

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livelovelyxx

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I am aware that I just made a thread, but this is a different problem, so please help me on this one, as well.

I’ve been to confession 4 times in two months because I keep thinking of things and freak out and feel like I have to go again. I am so extremely afraid of being sent to hell without God that I can hardly go on in my life. On Friday night, I was so stressed out because I had hours of homework and my family got into this massive fight and I threw a few things at my dad as well as hitting him and stuff. He’s a big guy, so I knew it wouldn’t truly injure him, but at the same time, I knew I definitely shouldn’t have been doing that, and I did it anyway. On Saturday, I needed to go to confession again because I forgot something when I went to confession on Wednesday. I was thinking about my sins, and I thought about saying hitting my parents/causing harm to others, but then I thought, “Oh, that’s not a mortal sin, so I don’t need to say that, because it’s only venial”. I knew it was bad and serious, but I definitely didn’t think it was a mortal sin, so I left it out. (I was afraid my list would be too long if I put venial sins on it as well) I did, however say “being extremely disrespectful to my parents”. I admit the past few months I have felt hate towards my dad, and I feel so bad about that I can’t describe, and I confessed that also. However, I said nothing about causing harm to him or my sister. On Monday, I realized my mistake, and now I’m afraid I not only have a mortal sin on my soul (hurting my dad) but I’ve also deliberately left out a mortal sin at confession (I deliberately left it out, because I didn’t think it was mortal). I definitely am repenting, and I’m doing very well at it. Even when I’ve been stressed out I’ve turned from sin and haven’t hurt anyone in any way. But, I’m still so scared I can hardly handle it. Do I need to go to confession once again this Saturday? (Part of my penance on Sat. was to stop being so scrupulous). I’m really scared and stressed, please offer me some guidance.
 
livelovelyxx said:
I am aware that I just made a thread, but this is a different problem, so please help me on this one, as well.

I’ve been to confession 4 times in two months because I keep thinking of things and freak out and feel like I have to go again. I am so extremely afraid of being sent to hell without God that I can hardly go on in my life. On Friday night, I was so stressed out because I had hours of homework and my family got into this massive fight and I threw a few things at my dad as well as hitting him and stuff. He’s a big guy, so I knew it wouldn’t truly injure him, but at the same time, I knew I definitely shouldn’t have been doing that, and I did it anyway. On Saturday, I needed to go to confession again because I forgot something when I went to confession on Wednesday. I was thinking about my sins, and I thought about saying hitting my parents/causing harm to others, but then I thought, “Oh, that’s not a mortal sin, so I don’t need to say that, because it’s only venial”. I knew it was bad and serious, but I definitely didn’t think it was a mortal sin, so I left it out. (I was afraid my list would be too long if I put venial sins on it as well) I did, however say “being extremely disrespectful to my parents”. I admit the past few months I have felt hate towards my dad, and I feel so bad about that I can’t describe, and I confessed that also. However, I said nothing about causing harm to him or my sister. On Monday, I realized my mistake, and now I’m afraid I not only have a mortal sin on my soul (hurting my dad) but I’ve also deliberately left out a mortal sin at confession (I deliberately left it out, because I didn’t think it was mortal). I definitely am repenting, and I’m doing very well at it. Even when I’ve been stressed out I’ve turned from sin and haven’t hurt anyone in any way. But, I’m still so scared I can hardly handle it. Do I need to go to confession once again this Saturday? (Part of my penance on Sat. was to stop being so scrupulous). I’m really scared and stressed, please offer me some guidance.
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Here is my advice straight up. Hitting your parents and throwing things at them is a direct violation of the Commandment to Honor your Father and Mother. So it is serious sin and needs to be confessed, and you need to tell the priest exactly what you did and don’t beat around the bush. But once you have confessed it and received absolution, accept the fact that you are forgiven, and repent (which means “to change” your actions, not just feel sorry for them.) Also, you must listen to the priest and address your scrupulosity and do what he tells you to do.

But there is a deeper problem here. I don’t know what is going on in your family, but you seem to have a problem with anger. (I’ve read your other posts). Whether it is caused by a family problem or not, I don’t know, but you need to get some counseling or help with this. It definitely NOT normal for a child of your age to be hitting their parents, and hitting and screaming and throwing things around is not the way most families interact in arguments. Something is going on here, and you need to try and determine what. Perhaps a visit to the school guidance counselor to discuss your feelings might be in order, and also with your priest, who may be able to advise you. Bottled up anger eventually explodes, as you have experienced, so you need to find out why this is happening, and learn how to control it.

People on these forums do not know you or what is going on internally with you or your family, so they can’t really give you any advice except for to seek some help. We can, however, pray for you, and that I will do.
 
livelovelyxx said:
…I am so extremely afraid of being sent to hell without God that I can hardly go on in my life. …
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If you have perfect contrition you can obtain forgivness from God immediately, then just go to confession ASAP.

1452 When it arises from a love by which God is loved above all else, contrition is called “perfect” (contrition of charity). Such contrition remits venial sins; it also obtains forgiveness of mortal sins if it includes the firm resolution to have recourse to sacramental confession as soon as possible. (Cf. Council of Trent (1551): DS 1677.)

Also CCC 1451 on.
vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p2s2c2a4.htm

Baltimore Catechism No. 3:

A. There are two kinds of contrition; perfect contrition and imperfect contrition.
A. Perfect contrition is that which fills us with sorrow and hatred for sin, because it offends God, who is infinitely good in Himself and worthy of all love.
A. Imperfect contrition is sufficient for a worthy confession, but we should endeavor to have perfect contrition.
A. By a firm purpose of sinning no more I mean a fixed resolve not only to avoid all mortal sin, but also its near occasions.

See Baltimore Catechism No. 3, item 764 on:
ourladyswarriors.org/faith/bc3-18.htm

%between%
 
Young man,

We have already given you the best piece of advice. We do not need to hear long winded tales of your confessions, sins and what you failed to confess. I don’t know if you’re just seeking attention or what the situation is…but the advice has already been given to you:

**Tell all of this TO YOUR CONFESSOR and see what advice he gives. It may be prudent to see him outside confession for regular spiritual direction. **

You might require some counseling from a good Catholic therapist as well.

Either way, speak about all of this directly to your confessor.

Everyone else stop enabling him.
 
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