I need advice!!!

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Charli67

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I have a co-worker who is the hospital, they thought he had a stroke. Anyway, I had to go on his computer to find bid proposals, etc that he was working on, that we needed. In the process I came across some photos that were not only inappropriate, but not of his wife. What do I do with this information? I don’t know. Do I keep it to myself and confront him when he returns to work? Do I take it to our boss, because he is using the work computers? Do I tell his wife? I don’t know. HELP!!!
 
You should inform your co-worker, when he recovers, that you stumbled across the photos and remind him that items on company computers may not be considered private and may be detected by others in the company. Then forget you ever saw them and mention it/gossip about it to NO ONE. He will be on notice that this foolish and inappropriate use of company technology is potentially putting his professional reputation/job in jeopardy. You have no place to bring this up to his wife.
 
Thank you for reinforcing what I already thought. I just needed to hear it from someone impartial to the situation. There isn’t anyone I could ask this advice from that wouldn’t know who I was speaking of.
 
Charli67 said:
I have a co-worker who is the hospital, they thought he had a stroke. Anyway, I had to go on his computer to find bid proposals, etc that he was working on, that we needed. In the process I came across some photos that were not only inappropriate, but not of his wife. What do I do with this information? I don’t know. Do I keep it to myself and confront him when he returns to work? Do I take it to our boss, because he is using the work computers? Do I tell his wife? I don’t know. HELP!!!
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Definitely remind him that his actions are inappropriate during work hours…It’s not right for him to use company time for his leasures…Also unless you are friends’ with him and his wife, personal things need to be left out of the entire situation, just stick with the professional reprimand of it…that’s it…If you are friends then you need to speak with him in private and advise him to speak with his wife about the situation before you do…

When my bff was cheating on her husband I confronted her about it, first of all I know she was my bff and I should have had her back, but after knowing her hubby for a year after I had met her, he was my good friend as well, and I wasn’t standing back while one of my friend’s hurt the other…At first she was upset and didn’t want to speak with me any more but after she and her husband spoke about the situations and saw that there was no way of working things out she and I were in good terms, now her exhubby would talk to me once in a while but since I moved just have received one or 2 emails from him and that is it…I didn’t lose either one of my friends because of what happened it was just because we live so far away that our communication is very minute…but in either case, I care about them and they know that I am here for them, and while we lived close even after their divorce we still kept in contact and my bff is still my bff!! 😃

So unless you are friend’s stay out of it…Good luck and take care…
 
Your friend had a stroke?

I make it a policy that when the Almighty grabs someone by the lapels and gets his attention, that’s when I let go and stand back.

He’s lying in his hospital bed. Let him contemplate the last things.

When he gets better, follow Island Oak’s advice to the letter.
 
I agree!! My friend is not even 50 yet. He has a wife and a small daughter, and it breaks me heart to know he could do these things. He is also a practicing Catholic. I will let God handle it, because I do know from experience that He takes care of things way better than we ever could. I have really been praying hard about this.

I just needed to “talk” to someone about this. As I said, if I were to talk to anyone here they would know who I was speaking of.

And, I am not impartial. I was cheated on by my husband and I don’t want to make any knee jerk decisions. None of the pictures were of his wife and some of them involved him with other women. It is sickening!!!
 
This is very sad on may levels, but I agree that this is something that you have to bring to his attention at the appropriate time. It is a work computer and not only could this damage (a probably is damaging his relationship with his wife) it could result in his termination.
 
I agree with MirrorMirror and Island Oak. I am the Director of Information Technology where I work and I had a problem somewhat similar.

Part of my job is to monitor the network and make sure it is running to peak efficiency. I found that one employee was visiting porn sites. It is my job to turn him into the boss. Understandably, the boss was not happy but told me that he would handle it and by that he meant… he would talk to him not me (all 3 of us are practicing Catholics) because I am a female it would be better coming from the boss. He told him that these sites are not allowed on our network and that I see everything and he needed to respect me. I thought that was a good way for the boss to handle it. I also knew that the employee would not be fired because he is the president.

I also tightened up security on the firewall and access to these sites is forbidden. About 2 months later the employee came to me and said that he was unable to access a site he needed to for work, I asked him to show me or email me the link so I could see what it was doing… he declined and never asked again. It got the message across to him that the network is monitored and I do check settings and visited sites… we haven’t had a problem now in over a year.

It wasn’t my place to tell the president that he was out of line… that was for the CEO to do. Your co-worker is lucky that you saw it and not anyone else that would fire him for it. We did have another individual that was downloading pictures onto his computer. I again mentioned it to the boss and that employee was fired… the difference being his status in the company and the fact that the boss wanted him gone anyway… this was his ammo.

Others have their wedding pics and just stuff like that… according to the boss, as long as it isn’t filling up space we need… that is OK. Thankfully, I work for a small company and the boss determines what is OK or not.
 
Charli67 said:
None of the pictures were of his wife and some of them involved him with other women. It is sickening!!!
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Was under the impression these were “anonymous” porn pictures… you are saying they are pics of him WITH women who aren’t his wife? I think that may change your moral responsibility… his wife and small daughter’s protection need to be considered as well. Might want to take this to a trusted priest to see if you should take any type of action.
 
I would tell him to get rid of the pictures because he can get fired. (I wouldn’t mention it to the boss because he can get fired and it is hard to find a job right now in this economy) If you are close to your co-worker. You might want to mention that those other women are not worth ruining his marriage over. I would give him a gentle admonishing after he gets better.
 
Delete the files. If he lives, let him wonder who knows what. If he dies, there is no chance of his family knowing how he had betrayed them.
 
I would tell him as soon as he’s back to work. Tell him how devastating his wife would be if she found out. And how he’s jeopardizing his job and relationship. Maybe this is his wakeup call. You might the one to open his eyes. 🙂
Keep it to yourself.
 
Is it not possible that the photos were spam? Spammers do send out “romantic” or even gross sexual messages, they might as well send pictures.
 
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