I need advise!!!

[MSParrott]

My sister with whom I am very close is getting married at the end of July and asked me the other day to be her maid of honor. Without hesitation I answered, yes! - but I started thinking last night that maybe I should reconsider. My sister is not Catholic, however her boyfriend is. (He is divorced, and although I don’t know for sure, I’m about 99% sure the marriage was not annulled). This will be her 3rd marriage (she divorced her 1st husband because of alcohol and abuse) and her 2nd husband passed away from cancer. This will be his 2nd marriage. This will be an JP type of wedding - although he mentioned getting it convalidated sometime in the future (I wish they could wait until that is done, but that’s just me…) I also want to start planting some seeds to get her to convert, but that is for another post.

I know that we are supposed to use our prudential judgement - but she is my sister and we have been through alot together - she is 16 years older than me and ever since our Mom passed away almost 4 years ago, I look to her as my other mother. I’m so torn because I do NOT want my actions to cause scandal. And I want to represent my faith and God the way I should. What am I going to do?

Any help or suggestions is GREATLY appreciated!

 

[PBP]

I served as best man for my best friends wedding and neither of them are Catholic. Now at that time I did not have the kind of faith I have now, but it was strange still. I guess it depends on their level of understanding their love as covenant and if you see no reason why they shouldnt. I dont see a problem. I hope the next posters are charitable with their responses.

 

[puzzleannie]

you kind of put yourself on the spot by saying yes, it would be hard to back-pedal. it sounds as if your sister and the gentleman have long since abandoned their Catholic faith. If they are holding themselves out as Catholic, then I would feel compelled to decline. it is your family however, you are in the best position to know what the reaction to such a position would be, and if it would be beneficial in leading your sister to conversion of her manner of living.

 

[MSParrott]

I served as best man for my best friends wedding and neither of them are Catholic. Now at that time I did not have the kind of faith I have now, but it was strange still. I guess it depends on their level of understanding their love as covenant and if you see no reason why they shouldnt. I dont see a problem. I hope the next posters are charitable with their responses.

Thanks for posting, PBP. I know they both love each other very much and other than the fact (large that it is) that he was married before and (I’m guessing) it wasn’t annulled, I am happy they found each other. I know the circumstances are far from ideal, but I love my sister - I also love God, too!

you kind of put yourself on the spot by saying yes, it would be hard to back-pedal. it sounds as if your sister and the gentleman have long since abandoned their Catholic faith. If they are holding themselves out as Catholic, then I would feel compelled to decline. it is your family however, you are in the best position to know what the reaction to such a position would be, and if it would be beneficial in leading your sister to conversion of her manner of living.

I know, I tend to put the cart before the horse at times. They’re not holding themselves out as Catholic (my sister isn’t Catholic) he is and did mention they eventually want to have the married convalidated in the future. I want to find out for sure if the marriage was annulled - and if not I am going to really talk to them about doing so. But am I turning away from my faith by having agreed to participate in their wedding? Like I said before, I don’t want to cause scandal - and I don’t want to do anything against my faith.

Here is where my heart is: I love my sister and because she is happy, I want to share in that with her. But in doing so, I don’t want to upset God, because I do love Him above all things.