I need guidance about vocations?

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Mrschocolate42

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My teenage son (13 years old) has begun to share that he thinks he has a vocation to be a brother. He has asked to go to confession quite frequently and also to go to Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. Adoration is something I have invited my sons to participate in for years but they rarely agree to go on their own. When they go at my insistance they have always been happy that they went. My question is, how do I help to encourage his interest without overwhelming him at this age?. I don’t want my help to deter him. I am concerned that he may not want to pursue this if his mother pushes him. I have felt for a while that he would make a good priest. I have prayed for years to John Paul II that he watch over my boys and help them to discern their vocations in life, whether to marriage, the single life, or the priesthood. Can anyone offer a mother a suggestion? I’m particularly interested in a man’s opinion. My husband is not against this but he would rather his boys live a “regular life” with a career and family. Love in Christ.
 
by all means take him whenever he asks, it would be wrong to deny him, unless circumstances really make it impossible at that time. as a regular thing, simply let him know when you are going, in fact let the whole family know (they need your good example) and simply invite anyone who wants to come, to Adoration, confession, daily Mass etc. In fact that is the way I would approach any teen. Anything that looks like pressure will probably backfire (I should know I deal with the results every week). The only non-negotiable should be Sunday Mass, but I would allow leeway, if he wants to go to the youth Mass with his friends in another parish (make sure he actually goes in and stays there however) even if you hate the music.

He is at the age when a lot is going on interiorly and if he is discerning a genuine vocation, may very well benefit from a spiritual director. If he has expressed an interest in certain religious order, you might arrange a visit, if he seems to like the idea, and some offer weekend retreats for exactly this purpose.
 
I would agree with the post above, keeping in mind that he is indeed only 13 years old so his mind is certain to change from time to time. It is amazing that he is thinking of this at his young age. Be supportive when he brings it up, but always let him be the one to bring it up. That way, as the poster above stated, he would not feel any kind of pressure if he should change his mind, which will happen from time to time.

I think it is too early to start looking into religious orders right now, but in a few years if he is interested, by all means, let him go on some vocation retreats, and some come and see days.

You and your son will be in my prayers!

In Carmel,

Br. Allen
 
Thank you for the advice. I will definitely continue to pray and make confession and Adoration available to my son. We are members of a huge parish (over 8400 families) so finding a spiritual director for him is extremely difficult. We have a shortage of priests, as you know, and we live in a huge city. Fortunately, the boys serve as altar boys so they know our priests at least by sight and to say hello. I agree that he is very young and it is likely too soon to press him on this in any way. He has always been what I call an “old soul”. He has never appeared child-like. His heart has been moved by the abortion scandel in our country and I think he is being moved by the Holy Spirit to minister in this direction!!! Thank you for keeping him in your prayers. Love in the Christ.
 
Deo Gratias!!

I am fourteen myself and preparing to enter the SSPX seminary in Minnesota once I graduate high school!!

Your son…he will be going through much turmoil in the next years…I speak from experience. Especially if he goes to public school and he continues to express a desire for the consecrated life. Everything we are taught is against holy orders. Those of use who become priests, monks, nuns, etc are going against the grain of society. Be proud of your son!! (Does he pray the Rosary? I recommend all 15 mysteries each day!!)

Oh and I recommend he start seriously studying Catholicism immediately. I was 13 when I first read the Summa.
 
If you can’t get him to adoration, try this:

savior.org/

We also offer a young vocations yahoo group:

groups.yahoo.com/group/young_vocations/

We are finding that there are more and more young ladies and gentlemen younger than 17 being called to religious life.

My own SD, who is involved in full-time formation, says the deficits he sees in the new arrivals are how to get along with others and the fundamentals of our faith.

I also recommend joining this yahoo group for the purpose of getting the daily liturgy of the hours:

groups.yahoo.com/group/Saint-Faustina/

If you go on “daily digest,” it makes it easier to pick and choose one’s devotions.

HTH

Blessings,
Cloisters
 
Allen537 said:
I think it is too early to start looking into religious orders right now,
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Mrs. Chocolate:

Br. Allen is probably right in his statement above, but you might want to take pains to make sure that your son is exposed to orthodox orders and priests. Many orders are only marginally Catholic. At one point I was discerning a vocation to religious life (I didn’t have one.) and many of the sisters I met would have made better Baptists. I lived with one congregation for about six months, only to find that I was more religious than my director was. It was a bad match. By exposing your son to solid Catholic orders, if he does have a vocation to religious life it will have a better chance to prosper.

Marsha
 
Marsha_Adams said:
Mrs. Chocolate:

Br. Allen is probably right in his statement above, but you might want to take pains to make sure that your son is exposed to orthodox orders and priests. Many orders are only marginally Catholic. At one point I was discerning a vocation to religious life (I didn’t have one.) and many of the sisters I met would have made better Baptists. I lived with one congregation for about six months, only to find that I was more religious than my director was. It was a bad match. By exposing your son to solid Catholic orders, if he does have a vocation to religious life it will have a better chance to prosper.

Marsha
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I disagree. Once one is of reasoning age, discerning a vocation is perfectly okay. But I echo your suggestion. Make sure you get your son a very good spiritual director.
 
I don’t know if there’s a monastery at all close to you, but if there is you could offer to take your son there for a visit. I’ve taken friends to the monastery where I’m an Oblate to get a taste of what it’s like. We’ve arrived in time for the noon Mass, had lunch with the monks, then spent the afternoon walking around, praying, visiting the bookstore, etc. We prayed vespers with the monks then headed home.

You might call a monastery to see if they would be open to a visit like that and then see if your son would be interested. I definitely wouldn’t push, but I’d take him if he wanted to go.
 
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