I need HELP answering an important sex question

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AlanFromWichita:
I still cannot see how adultery/fornication + contraception is any more sinful than adultery/fornication without contraception. This is sex that isn’t supposed to happen anyway, so why do we think that if it happens at all, it should be done well? Telling them they should not use contraception if they have heathen sex is like telling them that if they knife somebody they should be careful not to spill any blood on themselves or on the carpet.

Alan
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Ah, Alan. Back in my youth (Waaayyy back in my youth) young Catholic fornicators used to tell their girlfriends it was a sin to use a condom. And the stupid (often Catholic) girls who slept with them fell for that – which just shows you that sex hormones seriously poison the logical faculties.
 
Anyone giving sexual advice to this teenager is guilty of a crime.

Karl Keating – the founder of ‘Catholic Answers’.

The magical beginnings of his ‘battle for faith’ are that he came out of a Catholic Church one Sunday after Mass and found anti-Catholic literature on some of the car windshields in the parking lot.

He went home and wrote an answering tract and distributed it at the church that papered the cars in the church parking lot.

From there this lawyer (now preacher) went on to write and distribute tract after tract. He became so involved in this (and so successful) that he quit his job as a lawyer and opened up his own publishing business.

His ‘Catholic Answers’ company cranks out books and bible tracts at an enormous rate.

The problem with all this activity is in the man himself.

Going from a worshipper of Christ to an evangelical minister his organization boasts of sending out ‘their ministers’ as if they were cut off from Catholic Church and operating on their own.

In fact, they are operating on their own.

Without a true set of moral principles to guide them and a fat check book the group has muscled aside the message of Peace proclaimed by the Catholic Church and has involved itself in spiritual brawls with every bizarre religious group in the United States.

His close association with Deal Hudson points to a character flaw in Karl Keating that in my opinion shows a lack of wisdom.

His association with the Knights of Columbus alone, in my opinion, is a marketing ploy to increase the KofC Insurance Company’s financial interests. That company holds more than 5 billion dollars in assets and insures over 50 billion dollars worth of property.

This plastic Catholic and his manufactured ministers are a disgusting outgrowth of American political thought. Unfortunately they have been financially successful with their self-serving propaganda.

Thankfully God is alive in the world and to all things done in greed and without faith come a bad end. Catholic Answers has no answers for that.

A few links on the ‘CatholicAnswers.com’ include contacts for ‘Christian Jobs’ which will put in touch with the ‘Campus Crusade for Christ’, ‘Secrets of Success’ - a business person’s evangelistic website.

www.catholic.com

http://forums.catholic-questions.org

www.catholicanswers.com
 
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cranston36:
Anyone giving sexual advice to this teenager is guilty of a crime.
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How does your dislike for Karl Keating make us guilty of a crime for talking to this teenager?

Dude, you’re seriously spamming this whole board. Start explaining what specific issues you have with Keating or I’ll be forced to take you less than seriously.

Alan
 
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mercygate:
Ah, Alan. Back in my youth (Waaayyy back in my youth) young Catholic fornicators used to tell their girlfriends it was a sin to use a condom. And the stupid (often Catholic) girls who slept with them fell for that – which just shows you that sex hormones seriously poison the logical faculties.
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I wouldn’t be surprised if SOME did that. Waaayyy back in the day, as I recall, Catholic girls came already programmed that way so they didn’t have to be convinced. :o

Alan
 
You should be commended for your role in teaching your peers. God Bless You.

I explain things to my daughter this way. Think of something that is very special to you, an heirloom, etc. Would you give this to someone else? Who did you “like/love” last year? How do you feel about that person now? What if you had given you heiloom to that person? A material possesion can be taken back, your virginity cannot. Once you give away that special heirloom, you will NEVER get it back. Hope that helps.
 
yes. If they are determinded to have sex outside of marriage then they should protect themselves…
 
What an interesting question. It really made me think. I am way over being a teen–but I still remember being one–and the hormones at that time. In fact, my husband and I (who were high school sweethearts) sometimes forget we are not that young anymore.

Now that I am older and realize that this life is only the first step – that we are on this Earth to come to know, love and truly serve God–I would say that the couple should pray together.
 
Thanks again for your help- our first chastity talk went very well (I’m in a group called SIA: Sexual Integrity Advocates). This question never came up, but we do give a quiz on STDs which exposes the noneffectiveness of condoms (like did you know that legally, 1 in 240 condoms can be defective? etc.)
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triton:
Absolutely use “protection”…

Chastity belts.
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🙂 This made me laugh; during our sex ed class, one of my teachers was like, “There’s something more effective than the pill, than condoms, than every single type of contraception out there, and its right in your medicine cabinet. It’s… asprin.”
everyone was like, “what?!”
she continues, “Here’s what you do, you take one asprin, you put it between your knees, and you keep it there.”
 
*pro-life_teen*:
🙂 This made me laugh; during our sex ed class, one of my teachers was like, “There’s something more effective than the pill, than condoms, than every single type of contraception out there, and its right in your medicine cabinet. It’s… asprin.”
everyone was like, “what?!”
she continues, “Here’s what you do, you take one asprin, you put it between your knees, and you keep it there.”
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:rotfl: That’s great! I have to remember that.
 
as i read all the replies i was waiting and waiting and waiting for someone to mention the word “hormones” and finally near the end a few ppl did mention the word but there was no expansion on it.

Take away the word “sin”, take away the phrase “the right cathlic way”, and take away the idea of “teaching” really when it comes down to sex its all about “HORMONES” … the natural chemical given to us in our bodies. You can talk and talk and talk about chastity, sin, the right way, ect but what needs to be addressed more is our hormones.

Now a days there is soo much pressure when it comes to growing up - you may of heard of peer-pressure - peer pressure can sometimes be a hard thing to handle, especially when hormones are running crazy, and they can be hard to handle at times.

RULES - if there wasnt soo many rules on what to do and not to do there wouldnt be rebellion - due to frustrations of being told by so many diff ppl what is wrong and what isnt. You sit here reading everyones responces and everyone has their own opinions… well how do you think someone sitting here with this actual confusion of what to do or not is gonna feel with all these different responses as well as dealing with the natural messages their body is sending to them??? We are a creatures like all the rest, creatures of reproduction… we are ment to reproduce - hence our hormones. We live much longer then we used to, our life span has extended… now picture back to what it may of been like millions of years ago… females were know to have children at age 12… that was not considered young… and now we have to live how many years longer before we are socially excepted to bare children… (fighting hormones that long can be very frustrating…) back then we would prob be close to our death bed. SEX is natural, its our nature. Hormones produce curiosity especially when rules are set…

Ppl mentioned MARRIAGE alot… now tell me this… marriage is the ideal picture before reproduction… but seriously, how does marriage actually make this decission of reproduction better??? Look at the divorse rate these days!! Dont get me wrong, i dont necc agree with children reproducing children, but Ive seen some children or unmarried mothers (fathers) prove to be better parents then those who (are) married then reproduced. I dont necc agree marriage is a better reason to wait.

In the END… its all about hormones and personal choice… if hormones and curriosity win… why not play “safer” whats the wrong in that??? If theres a chance on preventing a technically “undesired result” when its gonna happen whether others like it or not, what is gonna be the harm? Teach both ways… teach about the benifits of not having sex, but also teach safetly incase the hormones win over the little voices in their heads… its a personal choice between the two individuals… to not educate the young on alternatives i think is a sin on the one who holds that knowledge, cause if it simply came down to a single condom and a bit of teaching to prevent a birth occuring or a disease from being spread… i believe is just as sinful as the actual physical action taken by the couple.

Am I wrong?? … (im pretty sure some will say so…)
 
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canadianwoman78:
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In the END… its all about hormones and personal choice… if hormones and curriosity win… why not play “safer” whats the wrong in that??? If theres a chance on preventing a technically “undesired result” when its gonna happen whether others like it or not, what is gonna be the harm? Teach both ways… teach about the benifits of not having sex, but also teach safetly incase the hormones win over the little voices in their heads… its a personal choice between the two individuals… to not educate the young on alternatives i think is a sin on the one who holds that knowledge, cause if it simply came down to a single condom and a bit of teaching to prevent a birth occuring or a disease from being spread… i believe is just as sinful as the actual physical action taken by the couple.

Am I wrong?? … (im pretty sure some will say so…)
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The question was *“What is the correct Catholic answer to that question?” *Not what is the secular answer to the question. The Catholic answer is not hormones and personal choice. We are not animals. We are able to have self control.

If you research the facts children overwhelmingly are better off socially, economically, psychologically in house holds where the parents are married even if the marriage is less than ideal. Studies have been done and the factual evidence is there. Can there be exceptions?- Ofcourse.

Do you hold to any religious beliefs? Are you familiar with Bible or the teachings of the Catholic church? Do you believe the Bible is the inerrant word of God? God is our creator, he loves us more than any human being could ever possibly love us. These “rules” you keep talking about were set down by God becasue he knows what is best for our happiness. He is a just God, he would not ask us to do the impossible. We are able to be in control of our “hormones”. If we give in to our “hormones” if we let them rule our lives than we are slaves to our own bodies. When we exercise self contol than we are the masters, that is where the freedom lies.
 
*pro-life_teen*:
What if the couple is determined to have sex outside of marriage? Wouldn’t it be better for them to use protection?
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Once you have decided to sin, you are on your own, so moral reasoning no longer really applies.
 
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canadianwoman78:
Take away the word “sin”, take away the phrase “the right cathlic way”, and take away the idea of “teaching” really when it comes down to sex its all about “HORMONES” … the natural chemical given to us in our bodies. You can talk and talk and talk about chastity, sin, the right way, ect but what needs to be addressed more is our hormones.
To be more honest, it’s about the BOY’s hormones and the GIRL’s craving for attention! How to hang on to this guy, with so many others willing to put out? That’s what it’s about. And it’s so sad to look back and see it really wasn’t worth the loss of integrity.
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Any couple who has sex inside or outside of marriage had better be ready to become parents. From a secular perspective, there are no 100% effective methods of birth control. So, better get on those pre-pregnancy vitamins and get a real job, boys and girls. There are actual boys and girls to think about here, not just you.

But from a more mature perspective, the couple should ask themselves:
  1. Why would you have sex with someone that you wouldn’t want to parent children with?
  2. If the answer to 1) is only that you’re not mature enough or don’t know each other well enough “for that kind of a commitment”, what makes them think that they are mature enough or know each other well enough for a sexual relationship?
  3. What makes them think their partner will be able to say “no” to sex outside of marriage when they’re married, if they can’t say “no” to it now? Sex inside of marriage does not erase either the tempation or the opportunity to have sex outside of marriage.
  4. Do you realize that you are a model for other couples who may look up to you? How are you modelling your “maturity” and your “commitment”?
The sex drive is very, very strong. Chastity is not a mere matter of avoiding sex. It is having sex in its appropriate place, for your entire life. Get a grip before you get married. But if you are determined not to do that, get ready to be parents before you are spouses. It can happen to you.
 
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caroljm36:
To be more honest, it’s about the BOY’s hormones and the GIRL’s craving for attention! How to hang on to this guy, with so many others willing to put out? That’s what it’s about. And it’s so sad to look back and see it really wasn’t worth the loss of integrity.
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How true.
 
That is saying that they want to have the pleasure but they do not want the responsibility of having a child. The whole reason for sex is to have children, and using birth control does not allow that. Chastity is always the best option, no matter what the circumstances. I hope this helps
 
I had this very same question when I was becoming Catholic in 2002. I wanted to know how to raise my children on this subject. As a mother, I want to protect them both physically and spiritually, if I am able. Thankfully, they are too young for The Talk right now.

I thought a lot about this topic. I had to work hard at understanding the Church’s Teaching on the purpose of sex. In order to answer the question about using contraception for pre-marital sex, I think a person needs to ask if they want to please society or God. Artificial Contraception is always wrong. It may not be easy to accept, but it is clearly wrong. There are serious consequences for using it or for not using it. But, I think if a person is looking for moral advice on the subject, it is never morally correct to use artificial contraception, but in order to accept this, a person has to try very hard to block out all the messages we get from society and just focus only on the Church’s Teaching about the purpose of sex. Read the catechism, check out the Couple to Couple league, search high and low for material that is understandable to the individual on the purpose of sex.

When we decide to “pervert” the act in anyway, we are committing a sin. We can not advise people to commit this type of sin. Homosexual acts pervert sex, but so does contraception. Socially, many of us find homosexual acts to be perversions, but we fail to see that contraception also perverts the act.

I have a young daughter now. I want to protect her from so much, but to teach her that contraception is ok because it will make her life “easier” or “safer” is not protecting her spiritually. It harms her. It sends a message that the Church is sometimes wrong in its teachings or that its Teachings can be ignored if it makes things better for her.

I don’t think the answer is as confusing as it is difficult to follow. The answer is to never use artificial contraception, but the consequences of this is very serious and they should be informed of these consequences. As a Catholic community, I think we need to be more understanding of teenage pregnancy or unwed mothers because we all know the difficulties in today’s world. It is less acceptable to marry young, yet marrying young seems to be the best way for a person to avoid falling into the sin of pre-marital sex. Many are teaching children that they must wait until after college to get married, but how many will wait until after college to have sex! So, in a round about way, we are teaching them to have pre-marital sex. We, as Catholics, are following society instead of following our Church Teachings. Teach them that if they want to have sex young, then get ready for marriage sooner. Otherwise, learn abstinence and suffer the consequences when they give in to temptation and encourage use of the Sacraments for strength.
 
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