I need help. Marriage question

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Areliv123

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Hello. I was born, baptized, confirmed a catholic. First communion as well… but I had a falling out. Please don’t judge me… but even so now at 24 and haven’t not gone to Sunday service for a good 5 years, I am getting married… and I want a church wedding. Hipocritical I know. Here’s the best part… My fiancé (who is a baptized Catholic, not practicing) fell in love with a Epicospal church, and today we checked it out and fell in love with the physical aspects of the church. Am I able to get married in this church? Without being stripped of our “catholic” titles. Please help. Please be nice. I truly am confused. I would just lole some help.
 
If you want to get married in the Catholic Church, then you should get a Catholic priest, and not an Episcopalian one.

You should also go to Mass as it is a precept of the Church and binding on the faithful to attend unless there is good reason to not do so, as you seem to care about being Catholic. No judgement just advice.

Once a Catholic always a Catholic. You cannot get unbaptized.
 
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Thank you so much for your response. I really appreciate it. We just fell in love with the building it is an 125 year old stoned church with Stained glass windows and candelabras. Jesus is depicted on all windows… I wish I could take a catholic priest and have him marry us there. The church is everything I’ve ever imagined. But my mother would be so upset that it’s not a catholic establishment. It’s all so confusing for me.
Reference: Church of the Angels in Pasadena CA
 
Speak with your priest. It is unlikely you can get married there, as there would be many complications. For instance, would the Episcopalian Church let a Catholic wedding happen inside it? etc.
 
Congratulations on your upcoming marriage!

I was wondering if you could contact one of the apologists on this site and have a one to one about this topic.

The Catholic Church is a little like the saying “still waters run deep.” It is way more than a building, and some of the loveliest church buildings in the world are or used to be Catholic ones.

Don’t trade your faith for a building.

But I think you can get a dispensation or something to get married in another church, I’m just not sure about the whole process.

Have you ever studied in depth Catholic history? I urge you to do so.

At any rate, you are in my prayers. Please pray for me, I have many flaws.
 
Instead of asking advice from complete strangers who aren’t priests isn’t it high time you actually went to a Catholic priest with these issues?

If you don’t want to do that then do whatever you like - I am not even sure your post is serious.

And no, you will still be a Catholic, but your marriage will not be valid in the eyes of the Church.
 
If you get married in that Episcopal church then your marriage will not be recognized as valid by the Catholic Church.
 
Ask the people in charge of the Episcopalian church if they would allow a Catholic priest to perform a Catholic wedding there.

If so, then find a Catholic priest who would do that. Congrats, it worked out the way you wanted.

If the Episcopalian won’t let their church be used that way and you have a non Catholic wedding there, then you are still Catholic, but your marriage is not recognized by the Catholic Church.
 
I’m not Catholic or Episcopal but why do you think the building itself is the most important factor? Does brick and stone make a lasting marriage?
 
Areliv123 said:
Hello. I was born, baptized, confirmed a catholic. First communion as well… but I had a falling out. Please don’t judge me… but even so now at 24 and haven’t not gone to Sunday service for a good 5 years, I am getting married… and I want a church wedding. Hipocritical I know. Here’s the best part… My fiancé (who is a baptized Catholic, not practicing) fell in love with a Epicospal church, and today we checked it out and fell in love with the physical aspects of the church. Am I able to get married in this church? Without being stripped of our “catholic” titles. Please help. Please be nice. I truly am confused. I would just lole some help.
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A Catholic by baptism or coming in to full communion, remains Catholic for life, bound to the laws of the Catholic Church. It will not be a valid marriage without the approval of the Catholic Church.
 
Janderich said:
I’m not Catholic or Episcopal but why do you think the building itself is the most important factor? Does brick and stone make a lasting marriage?
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Perhaps it is the ambience and the environment, not so much due to spiritual reason? The OP said that they are not practicing Catholics but want to marry as Catholics.

Good advice to the OP would be to contact a priest to arrange for the marriage to be solemnized in the Catholic Church. That would be a good start for their marriage.

God bless.
 
Areliv123 said:
I am getting married… and I want a church wedding.
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A church wedding or a valid Catholic Sacrament of Marriage? You wouldn’t be “stripped of your Catholic title” by marrying in a particular church building of your choice but if it’s not a Catholic wedding then the marriage will not be a valid Sacramental Catholic marriage.

I would spend some time discerning, apart from the building you want to be married in, why you have a concern about “being stripped of your Catholic title”? What is at the root of that concern? Is it just pressure from family or some deeper meaning that maybe you haven’t quite put your finger on yet? Do you feel a certain connection to the Church that for some reason you do not want to completely sever even though you aren’t practicing? Do you desire to be a practicing Catholic? Does your fiance? What does the “title” Catholic mean to you? Pursue the answer to those questions and perhaps you will find the answer to your other questions.

God Bless.
 
The short answer is yes, but there are several important issues involved.
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Sigh. This is pretty misleading, DT…

The short answer is ‘no, not generally’, although there are two exceptions (which you mention), which do not apply to the OP and her fiance.
The first option is to have your marriage take place in a non-Catholic church building, but still have the local ordinary, pastor, or a priest or deacon delegated by either of them assist at the marriage (CIC 1983, canon 1108 §1). In this case, you would need the permission of the local ordinary in order to do this (canon 1118 §1 and §2).
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@Areliv123, while this is technically possible, it tends not to be allowed in general. This is typically the “we want to be married on the beach / in a forest meadow / at my grandparents’ mansion” scenario, and it is the rare bishop who wishes to open that can of worms.
The second option is to have a non-Catholic ceremony entirely, perhaps with an Episcopalian priest officiating; in this case, you would need to get a dispensation from canonical form or your marriage will be invalid (canon 1117). However, this dispensation is generally given to Catholics who want to marry a non-Catholic person in a non-Catholic ceremony, for a variety of reasons.
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In other words, not relevant in this situation. 😉
As other posters have said, return to the Catholic Church! The fact that you are asking about marriage is already a good sign. 🙂
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Aah… now there’s some good advice! 🙂
 
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This is a good plan, remember, if you don’t ask, the answer is always no!
 
Nah. I’m just trying to make sure she’s not disappointed by having been given false hope. 😉

It’s actually quite relevant, since her intent is to get married outside of a Catholic church building. 😉

Agreed. I just think it’s more charitable to say “probably not a chance” rather than “yes!”. 🤷‍♂️

Hmm. That’s probably a good thing… since there aren’t any. 🤷‍♂️
 
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When your parents had you baptized as Catholics, they promised certain things and they committed you to be Catholics. That even determines how you will marry.

For a baptized Catholic, whether they went to Mass today or not for 20 years, in order to make a valid marriage, that marriage has to be done with permission of the Church. The little tug you feel is the grace of those Sacramental promises and the mark on your soul calling to you <3.

Marriage is about more than the wedding, you already know that.

Are there times when two Catholics can have a valid marriage that is contracted in a wedding that takes place in a non-Catholic venue, YES. However, there is a process for that.

I’d advise you to find out which is your official, territorial parish. Make an appointment to speak to the Pastor of that parish. Talk to him. Begin the process for marriage preparation with your fiancee. Heck the FOCUS inventory in itself is a blessing to the partners.

Baby steps. A meeting with Fr Smith does not commit you to schedule the wedding and sign a contract that day. Just have a meeting.

I’d also suggest you look at http://www.foryourmarriage.org/ and sign up for a free trial of FORMED.ORG so you can watch the “Beloved” videos.

Hugs and prayers.
 
You’ve got the cart in front of the horse. How do you know an Episcopal priest would be so eager to marry two Catholics who have no connections to his church other than liking the windows? Before you can decide anything, you need to find out if a choice is indeed possible.

I’m sure you know what a Catholic priest would say if two Episcopalians wandered in and said they liked the windows in his church and asked him to marry them.
 
Why would I even bother asking if it wasn’t a serious question? If it offends you so much maybe you should of scrolled down and not answer. I’m not sure about how many marriages and experience you have had but this will be my first, and thus unaware about how that would work, so your negativity can go elsewhere. Thank you for your time.
 
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