I need help. Marriage question

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I have prepared and assisted at about 40 Catholic marriages to date seeing you “asked” for experiential credentials.

I am not offended, I simply have not yet come across a 24 year old working from the range of assumptions that you have presented here with and hence my doubting incredulity.

Surely you can see the absolute need to be talking to a live Catholic priest rather than hoping to get consistent advice from amateurs on a forum who do not know you or your situation no matter how much you try and communicate here.

That you cannot readily see this does not, in my limited and humble experience, suggest you really understand what you are about and believe you would be best to wait a few years before seeking a marriage acceptable in the eyes of the Catholic Church. You simply do not seem to be spiritually or emotionally ready for such at this stage. I suggest that growth in readiness would seem to involve you first re-acquainting yourself with a lived Catholic life in a community - as others here observe. If you don’t want to do that then most priests and laity would naturally wonder why you want your wedding recognised by the Catholic Church at all?

You are the one who came here wanting help from those experienced in such matters.
Now you have been politely given what you requested.
My apologies if you are offended by my experienced pastoral advice.
 
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I think you need to deside how you are going to raise your family and what your long term goal as a Christian is. Are you going to be a married Catholic couple bringing up your children in your faith? Step one is to contact your parish priest because you have about 6 months or maybe a year of counseling ahead of you. If your fiancé has not been confirmed that will need to happen before marriage so classes might be in order.
Not trying to dampand your spirits but a pretty church does not make a happy marriage.
Why don’t you look into Engagement Encounter. They have them for newly engaged catholic couples. A good way to get lines of communication open and helps build a successful marriage.
I wish you all the luck in the world. I’m not saying getting married in that beautiful church is out of the question, but start with how you want to live your Christian life not by how beautiful the church is where you want to get married.
Blessings!
 
Areliv123 said:
Hello. I was born, baptized, confirmed a catholic. First communion as well… but I had a falling out. Please don’t judge me… but even so now at 24 and haven’t not gone to Sunday service for a good 5 years, I am getting married… and I want a church wedding. Hipocritical I know. Here’s the best part… My fiancé (who is a baptized Catholic, not practicing) fell in love with a Epicospal church, and today we checked it out and fell in love with the physical aspects of the church. Am I able to get married in this church? Without being stripped of our “catholic” titles. Please help. Please be nice. I truly am confused. I would just lole some help.
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Hi. I am very much older than you and I am married and have children, My sincere reaction to your post is that I am encouraged for the fact that you ask here at all. As a Catholic, I would want to see you to be a practicing good Catholic that you are always meant to be.

Going into marriage is a very important stage in our lives. We of course can always have all the ideals and romanticism about marriage but ultimately you would not want to mess with it and therefore a good advice for you regardless of who is giving it, is to have one (marriage) that you would not regret in the long run.

Since you still want to be known and seen as Catholic, the only good answer to your question is to get married in the Catholic Church. After all you want a church wedding. Getting married in the Catholic Church would be the right thing to do for you. Forget about the superficial idea about nice church building. It has no meaning except for the aesthetic.

See a priest and let him advice you how to go about a ‘church wedding’. It will be more than just a church building but I am sure you will like it as you go into the process.

All the best to your marriage and God bless.
 
You are baptized Christian, not Catholic. “ONE Baptism for the forgiveness of Sins.”
 
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All baptized correctly are baptized to the one (Catholic) Faith.
One Lord, One Faith, One Baptism.

Hence why even the children of protestants properly baptized are members of the Catholic Church until they reach the age of reason.
 
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Areliv123 said:
Thank you so much for your response. I really appreciate it. We just fell in love with the building it is an 125 year old stoned church with Stained glass windows and candelabras. Jesus is depicted on all windows… I wish I could take a catholic priest and have him marry us there. The church is everything I’ve ever imagined. But my mother would be so upset that it’s not a catholic establishment. It’s all so confusing for me.

Reference: Church of the Angels in Pasadena CA
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If you are in love with stained glass windows, why not make a destination wedding to Chicago (provided you can get permission to get married in Chicago, since it is not your home diocese) and have your marriage at the St. James Chapel?

https://www.windows.org/

The other thing to note about the Episcopal church: since it is part of the Anglican communion, its very existence is rooted in disobedience to Christ’s command of “no divorce and remarriage”, so please do not start out your marriage with this iconic symbolism.
 
Kei said:
Hence why even the children of protestants properly baptized are members of the Catholic Church until they reach the age of reason.
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This isn’t quite correct. Protestants with a valid baptism never loose the validity of their baptism. I was baptized as an infant and entered the Catholic Church some forty+ years later. My baptism was as valid that day as it was the day it was done.
 
Dca2018 said:
You are baptized Christian, not Catholic. “ONE Baptism for the forgiveness of Sins.”
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No.

A person who has been baptized by a Catholic priest or deacon is a baptized Catholic.
Kei said:
Hence why even the children of protestants properly baptized are members of the Catholic Church until they reach the age of reason.
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No.
Let’s look at the counter-example: suppose a child is baptized in a non-Catholic Church. Later, their parents enter the Catholic Church and wish that their child enter into the religious education program, so that they can receive First Holy Communion. That child would not simply be accepted as a member of the Catholic Church – rather, they would have to be received into the Church. (His pastor would then “supply the ceremonies” (that is, observe the other rituals that were not present at his baptism) and would follow the “Rite of Bringing a Baptized Child to the Church”.) The child would then be entered into the baptismal register of the parish church.
 
You and your fiancé only need to go to confession and you are back in.

Go to Mass each Sunday and Holyday of Obligation.

Have a nice long chat with your pastor or her pastor.

As an optional extra, attend RCIA and also any other catholic adult education courses that are available nearby … in your diocese or adjacent dioceses. These adult ed programs are great for learning about the interesting details of the Catholic Church, which is 2000 years old so there are lots of details to catch up on.

There are LOTS of great study guides and books available … Ascension Press. EPIC. And many others. Bishop Robert Barron. The late Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen. Lots of video. Check with YouTube.

[If you like the architecture of the non-Catholic church, it is possible that the non-Catholic congregation will fold; the church building will then be for sale and a Catholic parish could buy it. No joke; no sarcasm. A Catholic college bought a gorgeous Episcoplian church … solid stone. The parish house is used for classrooms.]
 
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You stated that neither of you are practicing the Catholic faith although you were both baptized in the Catholic Church. I ask this question not to judge, insult or criticize; do you want a valid, sacramental marriage?

If the answer is yes, them make an appointment and talk to a priest. He can answer your questions and guide you best. I am not saying all his answers will be what you want to hear.

Best wishes for the two of you.
 
The baptism is always valid. My point is that, in a sense, because baptism brings one into the body of Christ, until the child decides to not be fully in the body of Christ by agreeing to some heresy, he is fully in the body of Christ.

He wouldn’t need to be re baptized or anything. One Faith, One Lord, One Baptism.
 
I understand what you are saying. Once a person is baptized with the correct form & matter, that baptism is valid regardless. Child or adult, it remains valid. Do some stray away from the practice of Christianity? Certainly but that does not invalidate their baptism in any way. For those with a valid baptism who desire to return to the practice of faith, all they need to do is return, with Catholics, go to the sacrament of reconciliation, and return to full communion.

For those with a valid baptism wanting to enter the Catholic Church all that is needed is the desire to enter. They must have a period of instruction, but the baptism is still very valid.

There is no instance in which a valid baptism can be made invalid.
 
Just a minor correction/comment. Catholics have Mass on Sunday. It’s not a “service”.

A Catholic Mass is the Priest consecrating bread and wine into the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ. Very intense.

A service is just some prayers and a bible study. And maybe some fellowship [getting together for chit chat and some food.]

I recommend buying a Baltimore Catechism, which is still in print although updated, from Amazon. You can also buy the more recent full Catechism of the Catholic Church, which goes into tremendous detail with full biblical explanations.

Scroll down here:


The part starting with Augustine’s comments are pretty clear and helpful.
 
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