I need help! Wife issues

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I’m confused. It sounds like you’re on a roller coaster here. One day she tells you it’s over, and the next you’re talking and have hope. That’s great that you both are able to talk, but what’s going on? Is she serious about divorcing you?
 
Evania said:
I’m confused. It sounds like you’re on a roller coaster here. One day she tells you it’s over, and the next you’re talking and have hope. That’s great that you both are able to talk, but what’s going on? Is she serious about divorcing you?
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This is why we plunge forward in self sacrificial love ( it’s a redundant phrase but it’s good to emphasize that, I need to be reminded all the time).
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
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If you are rejected by a person after loving them, you are in very good company.
 
Tonight we are going to our second session with our couples therapist. I think it will be the last one. I found a list of things that I’m going to be allowed to take when she asks me to leave. I also know that she has contacted her retirement fund to borrow money to pay me to leave and to pay off some bills. Now I know why she doesn’t want to go to Retrouvaille. She never had any intention of trying to work things out. I could be wrong, but it sure doesn’t seem that way. I’ll have to live out my life as a single man forsaking all others in order to stay right with the church. :confused:
 
HH,

I am truly sad to read this news and will say a rosary for your marriage when I am done writing this. Do you feel she is still communicating with the other guy?

Is there any way the two of you can agree to a cooling off time before any additional and significant decisions are made?

Also, why would you be the one to move? If she is unhappy, she should move, don’t you think?
 
90Domer said:
HH,

I am truly sad to read this news and will say a rosary for your marriage when I am done writing this. Do you feel she is still communicating with the other guy?

Is there any way the two of you can agree to a cooling off time before any additional and significant decisions are made?

Also, why would you be the one to move? If she is unhappy, she should move, don’t you think?
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I don’t believe there has been any communication with the other person.

Cooling off period? I don’t know. Heck we spent the weekend together and things seemed ok. We went to the flea market, spent time watching tv together in the bedroom, walked our grandson to the park last night. Its just so confusing.

Why would I move? Well we bought the house along with the mother in law. Her money is in this house also. It would be easier for them to buy me out, but I don’t see how they could possibly stay in it if I’m not making the house payment. Maybe I should rent a storage unit and start slowly buying things to put in my new residence.
 
Hurt - I am sorry. You have to go with what your gut tells you. Protect yourself at this point. Be thankful you have the benefit of knowing her intentions.

The last thing you want to hear right now is “just file for an annulment.” Unfortunately, you will hear that a lot.
 
HH, I will pull no punches…it’s going to hurt and hurt like hell once you realize that the life you had is truly over! And then again when you actually walk out the door! Don’t lose faith or your mind, things will get better and work out over time. They always do, you will see!

What you will find is that after a while you will change for the better, and while you might appreciate the way things were before all of this happened you won’t be able to accept it ever happening again. You might have to swallow some of your pride, but YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE, A LOSER OR A BAD PERSON!

Heck, after 30 years of marriage I enjoy being single myself. Realize this, no one knows what God has planned for us so just take care of what you must and trust His will and be patient. Always expect the unexpected, and everything in God’s time!

Best of luck! 👍

Mike 🙂
 
Mikeydell said:
HH, I will pull no punches…it’s going to hurt and hurt like hell once you realize that the life you had is truly over! And then again when you actually walk out the door! Don’t lose faith or your mind, things will get better and work out over time. They always do, you will see!

What you will find is that after a while you will change for the better, and while you might appreciate the way things were before all of this happened you won’t be able to accept it ever happening again. You might have to swallow some of your pride, but YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE, A LOSER OR A BAD PERSON!

Heck, after 30 years of marriage I enjoy being single myself. Realize this, no one knows what God has planned for us so just take care of what you must and trust His will and be patient. Always expect the unexpected, and everything in God’s time!

Best of luck! 👍

Just got off the phone with her. Changed my tune. No more mister nice guy. Either we are working on our marriage or we aren’t. She doesn’t know. Well that’s not good enough for me at this point. I think she needs a complete physical. She has every sign of hypo thyroidism. Every symptom. She asked me if I thought she was crazy and I said no, but probably not well. Told her I talked to a priest and that she would have to do all of the work otherwise it would show that I’m giving consent to the divorce, and I’m not. Believe me, I’m trying to get my wife to heaven. I’m doing everything that I can, and if it doesn’t work out at least I can say that I did everything possible and she rejected eternal life with me and her family. She’ll end up a bitter old woman like her mother. Its a shame. It really is.
Mike 🙂
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Can you receive pm’s? Wanted to pm you, ours started out as him revealing just a kiss too. I can relate right down to the physical symptoms, including the hypothermia type reaction! I am so glad you posted that. I thought it was just me! Pm me if you would like to, a have a couple of posts out there you can see.

Goodness
 
Goodness said:
Can you receive pm’s? Wanted to pm you, ours started out as him revealing just a kiss too. I can relate right down to the physical symptoms, including the hypothermia type reaction! I am so glad you posted that. I thought it was just me! Pm me if you would like to, a have a couple of posts out there you can see.

Goodness
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sure
 
hurthusband said:
Just got off the phone with her. Changed my tune. No more mister nice guy. Either we are working on our marriage or we aren’t. She doesn’t know. Well that’s not good enough for me at this point. I think she needs a complete physical. She has every sign of hypo thyroidism. Every symptom. She asked me if I thought she was crazy and I said no, but probably not well. Told her I talked to a priest and that she would have to do all of the work otherwise it would show that I’m giving consent to the divorce, and I’m not. Believe me, I’m trying to get my wife to heaven. I’m doing everything that I can, and if it doesn’t work out at least I can say that I did everything possible and she rejected eternal life with me and her family. She’ll end up a bitter old woman like her mother. Its a shame. It really is.
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Good for you for letting her know you’re not putting up with her incisiveness. It might wake her up, but I wouldn’t count on it.
I was against my divorce and only participated to the extent the law required me to and in order to protect myself. The divorce was 100% on him. Obviously, God had other plans for my life. Mike is correct, expect the unexpected and trust in God. While this wasn’t in my plan, I am thankful for the opportunities God has given me because of it. I have learned to enjoy life and appreciate the little things more than I ever did before.
 
I also told her that we have to go to Retrouvaille this weekend and that if she still feels the same on Sunday afternoon then I won’t put up a fight. She can be on her merry way. If she doesn’t go to Retrouvaille then I’ll never sign anything. Period.
 
Guineviere said:
Good for you for letting her know you’re not putting up with her incisiveness. It might wake her up, but I wouldn’t count on it.
I was against my divorce and only participated to the extent the law required me to and in order to protect myself. The divorce was 100% on him. Obviously, God had other plans for my life. Mike is correct, expect the unexpected and trust in God. While this wasn’t in my plan, I am thankful for the opportunities God has given me because of it. I have learned to enjoy life and appreciate the little things more than I ever did before.
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Guess what? We’re going to Retrouvaille on Friday. Done deal. Now the work begins.👍
 
Praying for you. Love is the only way brother. Sacrifice. Even if you think you will get hurt, love is the only way.
“Love endures all things, hopes all things, believes all things”
 
HH.

Saying prayers that the weekend will be successful. God’s will be done.

God Bless You.
 
Why is it that on Wednesdays and Thursdays my wife barely speaks to me? Is it the stress of the work week? It’s been like this the last few weeks. I really don’t get it. It doesn’t take much to say hello or good night or anything in between. 🤷 Everyone please pray that she opens her heart at Retrouvaille this weekend.
 
clem456 said:
Praying for you. Love is the only way brother. Sacrifice. Even if you think you will get hurt, love is the only way.
“Love endures all things, hopes all things, believes all things”
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Beautiful post. Will offer prayers for you hurthusband. for this weekend to bring about some healing for both of you. God bless you.
 
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