E
Evania
Guest
My heart hurts for you. I am so sorry hurt husband. It was not all down the drain…You were faithful to your vows before God. I feel bad that you are suffering this. Divorce sucks.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
- Status
- Not open for further replies.
M
Mikeydell
Guest
HH stay strong now! It looks dark and dreary right now, but tomorrow will be a new day! You will heal and you will be stronger emotionally and spiritually.
Remember KARMA has a way of paying a visit when we least expect it!
Now DO NOT GIVE IN to anything she demands. Period! Get a SHYSTER lawyer and cover your assets. Time to man up and fight for what is lawfully and legally yours. I cannot overemphasize enough how important it is for you to fight for what is lawfully and legally yours!!!
Good luck and God Speed!
Mike
Remember KARMA has a way of paying a visit when we least expect it!
Now DO NOT GIVE IN to anything she demands. Period! Get a SHYSTER lawyer and cover your assets. Time to man up and fight for what is lawfully and legally yours. I cannot overemphasize enough how important it is for you to fight for what is lawfully and legally yours!!!
Good luck and God Speed!
Mike
M
Martin66
Guest
God bless you. The road gets bumpier now, but it won’t last forever. You are now closer to the end, which is a good thing.
I recommend keeping your cool, doing everything that your lawyer says, and being patient. If you are anything like me, the patience part is hard. You will want to engage with your spouse to find out why and how she could do this, but it won’t help. She has had time to get her story figured out, and the answer to all things is that you are at fault and were a bad husband. Don’t be shocked if she accuses you of abuse. I was told to watch out for a faked domestic assault, and my wife actually tried to set me up and get me arrested! No more contact with her, keep communication to just emails if at all possible.
When your wife starts publicly seeing this jerk your blood will boil and you may want to act out against him. Ask Jesus to help you through this, and think of the things that are important to you. Neither she nor he are worth losing those things. You are by far the better man, and you did the right thing in the marriage. They are both despicable in their actions and lack of morality - damaged goods that are in dire need of God’s mercy.
I recommend keeping your cool, doing everything that your lawyer says, and being patient. If you are anything like me, the patience part is hard. You will want to engage with your spouse to find out why and how she could do this, but it won’t help. She has had time to get her story figured out, and the answer to all things is that you are at fault and were a bad husband. Don’t be shocked if she accuses you of abuse. I was told to watch out for a faked domestic assault, and my wife actually tried to set me up and get me arrested! No more contact with her, keep communication to just emails if at all possible.
When your wife starts publicly seeing this jerk your blood will boil and you may want to act out against him. Ask Jesus to help you through this, and think of the things that are important to you. Neither she nor he are worth losing those things. You are by far the better man, and you did the right thing in the marriage. They are both despicable in their actions and lack of morality - damaged goods that are in dire need of God’s mercy.
H
hurthusband
Guest
I have a terrific lawyer. I won’t be paying any spousal support
E
erlembald
Guest
Whatever happens, accept it as the will of God. I did so, too, and it was the only thing that kept me sane.
H
hurthusband
Guest
I don’t believe that it was the will of God for us to be divorced. I’ll never believe that. There was some other power involved.Whatever happens, accept it as the will of God. I did so, too, and it was the only thing that kept me sane.
I
Irishmom2
Guest
hello hurthusband. I agree with you, it was not the will of God. She followed her will, not God’s.
I think that truly, there is nothing you can do at this point except to get it overwith and try to move on as painlessly (not talk or try to engage her or figure out why) as possible. You still have your family and that won’t change. your world will settle down eventually, hers might not.
Stay close to God and he will carry you through this difficult time.
I think that truly, there is nothing you can do at this point except to get it overwith and try to move on as painlessly (not talk or try to engage her or figure out why) as possible. You still have your family and that won’t change. your world will settle down eventually, hers might not.
Stay close to God and he will carry you through this difficult time.
S
Samson01
Guest
Of course, but God wins in the end. Hang in there.I don’t believe that it was the will of God for us to be divorced. I’ll never believe that. There was some other power involved.
C
CaliLobo
Guest
I’m very sorry to hear that it ended this way.
This is an exact example of why I said in my other thread that I don’t have confidence that marriage will last forever in today’s world. Because there is no longer any economic incentive to marriage and family, women can just drop their commitments and leave like that, even if men do their very best. After all, they can use their beauty to easily attract other men. How despicable. How evil.
But I think due to increased lifespan and the lack of economic incentive, that is what modern marriage is, and will continue to be. It’s just too hard to expect to remain committed for life, when life itself is so long now. Divorce will become the norm in our society, and the church will have to be understanding, and not judgmental, of that.
The strongest thing you can do is to give her the finger in your mind, hire a lawyer to fight for your legal rights to your property, and find someone else. Heck, play the field, date around, shoot guns, drink a six-pack, go to a rock concert, smoke, do what you couldn’t do when you were bogged down with this excuse of a woman!
Maybe if you can post photos of you having fun on Facebook (maybe with other beautiful females), and show that you are a fun person, she may come back.
Contrary to what others have said, although it may be sinful, DO engage in rebound dating, if anything, to boost your confidence. You need it. Jesus will understand and forgive you. (Unless your lawyer tells you not to.)
Take the offensive and file first. The $450 fee is much cheaper than the world of hurt if you let her dictate the pace.
But who am I to say this so easily, when I can’t even get over my fling of one single month.
You had several children together, and your marriage lasted longer than average, so all in all you did a good job. Find comfort in that. Your beautiful children are NOT a mistake; find comfort in that.
Maybe God allowed this evil to happen to prevent a greater evil.
Remember that the Bible does have a legal loop regarding divorce. Divorce is allowed for unfaithfulness. Believe that she did you a favor.
(Most of this post is to share my own pain and frustration, so that you know you aren’t alone!) All I can say is that I am sorry. Women suck.
This is an exact example of why I said in my other thread that I don’t have confidence that marriage will last forever in today’s world. Because there is no longer any economic incentive to marriage and family, women can just drop their commitments and leave like that, even if men do their very best. After all, they can use their beauty to easily attract other men. How despicable. How evil.
But I think due to increased lifespan and the lack of economic incentive, that is what modern marriage is, and will continue to be. It’s just too hard to expect to remain committed for life, when life itself is so long now. Divorce will become the norm in our society, and the church will have to be understanding, and not judgmental, of that.
The strongest thing you can do is to give her the finger in your mind, hire a lawyer to fight for your legal rights to your property, and find someone else. Heck, play the field, date around, shoot guns, drink a six-pack, go to a rock concert, smoke, do what you couldn’t do when you were bogged down with this excuse of a woman!
Maybe if you can post photos of you having fun on Facebook (maybe with other beautiful females), and show that you are a fun person, she may come back.
Contrary to what others have said, although it may be sinful, DO engage in rebound dating, if anything, to boost your confidence. You need it. Jesus will understand and forgive you. (Unless your lawyer tells you not to.)
Take the offensive and file first. The $450 fee is much cheaper than the world of hurt if you let her dictate the pace.
But who am I to say this so easily, when I can’t even get over my fling of one single month.
You had several children together, and your marriage lasted longer than average, so all in all you did a good job. Find comfort in that. Your beautiful children are NOT a mistake; find comfort in that.
Maybe God allowed this evil to happen to prevent a greater evil.
Remember that the Bible does have a legal loop regarding divorce. Divorce is allowed for unfaithfulness. Believe that she did you a favor.
(Most of this post is to share my own pain and frustration, so that you know you aren’t alone!) All I can say is that I am sorry. Women suck.
I
Irishmom2
Guest
Really?Women suck.
No, they don’t. You just don’t like women. And you will never find one with your bad attitude.
C
CaliLobo
Guest
Tell that to the OP, me, and the billions who are dealing with breakup from women in this world.Really?
No, they don’t. You just don’t like women. And you will never find one with your bad attitude.
And I don’t appreciate your libel about my attitude.
A
agnes_therese
Guest
Billions?Tell that to the OP, me, and the billions who are dealing with breakup from women in this world.
I can see that you’re hurting, but surely you’re not saying that there aren’t women dealing with being left by their husbands. If you are, then you don’t read this forum much.
C
cheezey
Guest
Let’s remember this is hurthusband’s thread. He is going through a difficult time. Let’s be here for him.
P
Pax2u
Guest
Well guess what…women don’t appreciate reading “women suck.”Tell that to the OP, me, and the billions who are dealing with breakup from women in this world.
And I don’t appreciate your libel about my attitude.
Sheesh.
1
1inICXC
Guest
I read this thread in one sitting (mostly HH’s posts) and it got me on my knees imploring God’s protection of my marriage. How do 24 years of good, Catholic marriage go down the drain just like that?
I went through a whole range of emotions as I was reading trough the updates but in the end, it got me wondering, where did all of this start? It didn’t start with the 5000 SMSs certainly…
I don’t know if this can be of any help to hh anymore, but for the sake of all of us …and op’s children who still have a shot at life-lasting marriage, how did it start?
When did the distancing from the Church begin? When did the prayer life start waning? What other red flags were there? HH , you seem to be a strong, dedicated husband, was that. Always the case or it’s this situation in particular that brings that out in you?
Again, I am just shocked to see this tragedy unfold…especially as it is followed by news from a strong Catholic couple (who we admired for some time) separating after 31 years and 7 children (it was he who lost his mind in this case). Is everything really that fragile or do we simply not draw on God’s graces sufficiently?
In reference to the situation, I don’t know why you are thinking about dating. The fact that someone makes some really poor decisions after 20+years of marriage is no indication that20+years ago the marriage did not occur. Annulment actually seems highly, highly unlikely. Not to mention that dating only opens the doors to more of the same. Surely your wife was one of those “good women” you’re talking about.
At this point, you should be more than happy to draw close to the Only Faithul Spouse there is and to continue supporting your children, this was enough to give me a faith crisis, I can’t imagine what it did for them. And, like you said,your son is at high risk here. No need to expose him to more datings and breakups. Firmness in the faith, in your faith, should help restore that in your family and hopefully get them all to remember Who the real glue is. “moving on” in the dating world will only exacerbate the issues in your family. I’m saying this as a heads up, though I hope you will see this for yourself once things settle down further…
Again, I am so saddened and shocked (getting the whole story in one shot) that this is the conclusion. God keep you strong! You did handle the situation admirably (minus the intimate occasions which, in my books, are/were a complete no-no)!
I went through a whole range of emotions as I was reading trough the updates but in the end, it got me wondering, where did all of this start? It didn’t start with the 5000 SMSs certainly…
I don’t know if this can be of any help to hh anymore, but for the sake of all of us …and op’s children who still have a shot at life-lasting marriage, how did it start?
When did the distancing from the Church begin? When did the prayer life start waning? What other red flags were there? HH , you seem to be a strong, dedicated husband, was that. Always the case or it’s this situation in particular that brings that out in you?
Again, I am just shocked to see this tragedy unfold…especially as it is followed by news from a strong Catholic couple (who we admired for some time) separating after 31 years and 7 children (it was he who lost his mind in this case). Is everything really that fragile or do we simply not draw on God’s graces sufficiently?
In reference to the situation, I don’t know why you are thinking about dating. The fact that someone makes some really poor decisions after 20+years of marriage is no indication that20+years ago the marriage did not occur. Annulment actually seems highly, highly unlikely. Not to mention that dating only opens the doors to more of the same. Surely your wife was one of those “good women” you’re talking about.
At this point, you should be more than happy to draw close to the Only Faithul Spouse there is and to continue supporting your children, this was enough to give me a faith crisis, I can’t imagine what it did for them. And, like you said,your son is at high risk here. No need to expose him to more datings and breakups. Firmness in the faith, in your faith, should help restore that in your family and hopefully get them all to remember Who the real glue is. “moving on” in the dating world will only exacerbate the issues in your family. I’m saying this as a heads up, though I hope you will see this for yourself once things settle down further…
Again, I am so saddened and shocked (getting the whole story in one shot) that this is the conclusion. God keep you strong! You did handle the situation admirably (minus the intimate occasions which, in my books, are/were a complete no-no)!
K
kbachler
Guest
Please accept my sympathy for your situation.I don’t believe that it was the will of God for us to be divorced. I’ll never believe that. There was some other power involved.
I am curious; what reasons did the aunt give for this being all your fault? Did you note that you were not the one that cheated on the marriage?
S
SamH
Guest
Get yourself a good lawyer. While the $750 a month seems like a joke considering the near equal pay scales without a good defender (or better yet a good offense) you will pay part of it. To many judges think “compromise” means she’ll get half of her outrageous demand instead of denying it out of hand.Well everyone. It finally happened. I was served papers yesterday by my soon to be ex wife’s aunt. The aunt indicated to me that the whole thing has been my fault, so I just said please hand me the papers and walked away. The wife is asking for $750 per month in spousal support eventhough we make almost exactly the same money. There is also something in the papers that says our house is in title to me, the wife and the mother in law in unequal shares whatever that means. I’m just looking out for myself now. So ready to be done with this and try to get an annulment. 24 years down the drain.
9
90Domer
Guest
I am sorry, but I cannot ignore this poor excuse of a post. How many times have I seen seen women dumped…traded in for the younger model. More times than I care to count. And often, these were women who gave up careers to be stay-at-home-moms, only to be left having to figure out how to raise children and work full time to provide for them. There are more than enough examples right here on CAF.I’m very sorry to hear that it ended this way.
This is an exact example of why I said in my other thread that I don’t have confidence that marriage will last forever in today’s world. Because there is no longer any economic incentive to marriage and family, women can just drop their commitments and leave like that, even if men do their very best. After all, they can use their beauty to easily attract other men. How despicable. How evil.
But I think due to increased lifespan and the lack of economic incentive, that is what modern marriage is, and will continue to be. It’s just too hard to expect to remain committed for life, when life itself is so long now. Divorce will become the norm in our society, and the church will have to be understanding, and not judgmental, of that.
The strongest thing you can do is to give her the finger in your mind, hire a lawyer to fight for your legal rights to your property, and find someone else. Heck, play the field, date around, shoot guns, drink a six-pack, go to a rock concert, smoke, do what you couldn’t do when you were bogged down with this excuse of a woman!
Maybe if you can post photos of you having fun on Facebook (maybe with other beautiful females), and show that you are a fun person, she may come back.
Contrary to what others have said, although it may be sinful, DO engage in rebound dating, if anything, to boost your confidence. You need it. Jesus will understand and forgive you. (Unless your lawyer tells you not to.)
Take the offensive and file first. The $450 fee is much cheaper than the world of hurt if you let her dictate the pace.
But who am I to say this so easily, when I can’t even get over my fling of one single month.
You had several children together, and your marriage lasted longer than average, so all in all you did a good job. Find comfort in that. Your beautiful children are NOT a mistake; find comfort in that.
Maybe God allowed this evil to happen to prevent a greater evil.
Remember that the Bible does have a legal loop regarding divorce. Divorce is allowed for unfaithfulness. Believe that she did you a favor.
(Most of this post is to share my own pain and frustration, so that you know you aren’t alone!) All I can say is that I am sorry. Women suck.
Marriage takes a lot of work, but my husband and I are so lucky that we had the example of our parents and all my aunts and uncles, all for having stayed married until death. My parents celebrated their 62th this year! My husband and I will have 20 next year. Divorce is not in our vocabulary, so please do not be discouraging. As with anything, it is love, commitment, dedication and preparation to ensure a lasting marriage.
I doubt if you would like it any better if I wrote that men are scum. Some are. I happen to have a lovely husband and son, so I would hate to have people generalize my sentiment to them. Also, I would hate to have your sentiment generalized to me. I certainly don’t think my husband thinks I suck (and keep your mind out of the gutter while you are at it!).
But to answer another’s question, I don’t think marriage/family it at the center of everyone’s universe anymore. Too many ugly and disgusting outside influences have crept in and have been slowly destroying the family. I have seen FB and Twitter take down a couple of people close to me already…within the past couple of years!
E
Evania
Guest
Amen!:clapping:Well guess what…women don’t appreciate reading “women suck.”
Sheesh.
M
Martin66
Guest
I agree with you HH, it was not God’s will for you, I or anyone to get a divorce. Based on holy scripture, God wants husbands and wives to marry and be faithful to each other for life. God gives us all free will, but in your wife’s case she used her free will to break her marriage vows and to do evil.
I don’ t believe God will stop us from chosing right or wrong, and facing the earthly consequences of our actions. Many evil things happen in this world that are not God’s will, and he is more saddened by this than we could ever be.
I don’ t believe God will stop us from chosing right or wrong, and facing the earthly consequences of our actions. Many evil things happen in this world that are not God’s will, and he is more saddened by this than we could ever be.
- Status
- Not open for further replies.