I need help! Wife issues

[qui_est_ce]

My answer is always, “Let’s be cordial. I didn’t ask to be put in this position.” Then her voice goes up two octaves.

Sorry, but this is funny. Sign of a guilty person.

 

[hurthusband]

Sorry, but this is funny. Sign of a guilty person.

Yeah, I get a bit of personal satisfaction out of it. I mean I’m a nice guy, but even I have my limits. I was the one who was willing to put in the work to make things better, but she wouldn’t participate. Now I’m supposed to cooperate? C’mon!!!

 

[qui_est_ce]

Let’s hope that’s how it turns out. It’s probably better to assume that people simply don’t care as much as we might think that they do. They’re busy with lives and problems of their own. In the end this may not be such a bad thing.

Cheating is the new moral code. You can tell because NPR is constantly making a production of “cheating.” Last year they were doing a series on evolution and the explanation for tears in the evolutionary process. They interviewed a gay guy whose partner “cheated” on him. When the guilty partner was confronted with his cheating ways, he broke into tears.

I thought it was kind of funny, because gay people aren’t really part of the evolutionary process.

 

[qui_est_ce]

Yeah, I get a bit of personal satisfaction out of it. I mean I’m a nice guy, but even I have my limits. I was the one who was willing to put in the work to make things better, but she wouldn’t participate. Now I’m supposed to cooperate? C’mon!!!

Don’t worry about every little thing like giving her the truck and trailer and it back-firing in your face. Every time you call your lawyer, it will cost you 15 minutes of the going rate.

Most states have no-fault. She wants a divorce and wants one bad. She is the one who is worrying about what you are going to do to stop it.

 

[qui_est_ce]

Did you ever address the support she was asking for?

Yeah, I get a bit of personal satisfaction out of it. I mean I’m a nice guy, but even I have my limits. I was the one who was willing to put in the work to make things better, but she wouldn’t participate. Now I’m supposed to cooperate? C’mon!!!

 

[hurthusband]

Did you ever address the support she was asking for?

Yes. Originally she was going to ask for 2000 per month. She got those number when she went in for her initial consultation. When I got served it now says 750 per month. My lawyer ran the numbers using her pay and my pay and it now comes out that she’ll pay me 140 per month. I changed jobs in January and don’t work any overtime anymore. Too bad.

 

[cheezey]

Yes. Originally she was going to ask for 2000 per month. She got those number when she went in for her initial consultation. When I got served it now says 750 per month. My lawyer ran the numbers using her pay and my pay and it now comes out that she’ll pay me 140 per month. I changed jobs in January and don’t work any overtime anymore. Too bad.

That is a shame.

 

[hurthusband]

That is a shame.

Karma. She wasn’t unhappy when she was laid off from work for 19 months and I was paying all of the bills for her and her mother, was she? She wasn’t unhappy when she was training for her class A license and she ran over a bicyclist and I supported her, was she? But when she started to make a little money and a guy on his third marriage started giving her some attention all of a sudden she was unhappy. Well what comes around goes around. I’m sorry, but it does. When you get in bed with the devil he’s going to pull the covers over your eyes.

 

[qui_est_ce]

Yes. Originally she was going to ask for 2000 per month. She got those number when she went in for her initial consultation. When I got served it now says 750 per month. My lawyer ran the numbers using her pay and my pay and it now **comes out that she’ll pay me 140 per month. **I changed jobs in January and don’t work any overtime anymore. Too bad.

BARGAINING CHIP!!!

They really do use those numbers.

She has a fool for a lawyer. OMG.

 

[qui_est_ce]

Karma. She wasn’t unhappy when she was laid off from work for 19 months and I was paying all of the bills for her and her mother, was she? She wasn’t unhappy when she was training for her class A license and she ran over a bicyclist and I supported her, was she? But when she started to make a little money and a guy on his third marriage started giving her some attention all of a sudden she was unhappy. Well what comes around goes around. I’m sorry, but it does. When you get in bed with the devil he’s going to pull the covers over your eyes.

That’s a good one.

Are you guys still living in the same house? What about your MIL?

 

[hurthusband]

That’s a good one.

Are you guys still living in the same house? What about your MIL?

I moved out in May I decided I didn’t like being used to pay the bills. My son came home for the Summer and lived with me until he went back last week. The mother in law. She still lives in the house. Here’s another funny story. The wife went and visited my parents last week. We all live in the same town. She brought my dad cookies and brought my mom flowers. They didn’t talk about the divorce at all. Not one mention of it. What was that all about? When you get divorced, don’t you also give up your in laws?

 

[cheezey]

I moved out in May I decided I didn’t like being used to pay the bills. My son came home for the Summer and lived with me until he went back last week. The mother in law. She still lives in the house. Here’s another funny story. The wife went and visited my parents last week. We all live in the same town. She brought my dad cookies and brought my mom flowers. They didn’t talk about the divorce at all. Not one mention of it. What was that all about? When you get divorced, don’t you also give up your in laws?

Usually, it seems. And friends made through the marriage.

An ex boyfriend of mine, previously married, was told by his father-in-law, upon hearing of the divorce,
“Son, I completely understand and don’t blame you.”

In my case, yes, everyone went the traditional route of suddenly not knowing me.
Except his best friend, with whom I am always in contact and is now my very best friend.
He divorced my ex, too.

 

[qui_est_ce]

I moved out in May I decided I didn’t like being used to pay the bills. My son came home for the Summer and lived with me until he went back last week. The mother in law. She still lives in the house. Here’s another funny story. The wife went and visited my parents last week. We all live in the same town. She brought my dad cookies and brought my mom flowers. They didn’t talk about the divorce at all. Not one mention of it. What was that all about? When you get divorced, don’t you also give up your in laws?

Are you DENSE? She is trying to make herself look good. Remember the aunt saying you were to blame for everything.

 

[Saturn5]

I moved out in May I decided I didn’t like being used to pay the bills. My son came home for the Summer and lived with me until he went back last week. The mother in law. She still lives in the house. Here’s another funny story. The wife went and visited my parents last week. We all live in the same town. She brought my dad cookies and brought my mom flowers. They didn’t talk about the divorce at all. Not one mention of it. What was that all about? When you get divorced, don’t you also give up your in laws?

Since you mentioned ex’s odd behavior with in-laws…my first marriage ended in 1998. We had no children (blessing!) and shortly after the divorce, my ex and I swapped a few items that we thought the other would want. We got together a few times to do that and talked about the divorce process and joked about how it forces you to be so ruthless to each other (she called my divorce attorney “The Shark”…made me smile at the time). It was actually nice to not be at each others throats for a change.

Well, she went “dark” after about a year. I was fine with that.

I have had to have the rare email to her about a few legal things over the years and it’s been difficult at best to get her to respond. But yet my parents get the most lovely Christmas card each year from her with a few photos and a very detailed description of what she’s been doing and about her family.

Sometimes you just have to wonder what goes on in their mind…

With all that said HH…time heals your heart. I can still remember the day I truly forgave my ex-wife. It was a tremendous weight off my shoulders. It will take time. I will pray for you it comes quickly.

 

[MarkInOregon]

I moved out in May I decided I didn’t like being used to pay the bills. My son came home for the Summer and lived with me until he went back last week. The mother in law. She still lives in the house. Here’s another funny story. The wife went and visited my parents last week. We all live in the same town. She brought my dad cookies and brought my mom flowers. They didn’t talk about the divorce at all. Not one mention of it. What was that all about? When you get divorced, don’t you also give up your in laws?

Don’t most people spend their time trying to give them up even while they’re married?

 

[Martin66]

:
Originally Posted by hurthusband
Just curious, what was the purpose of Don’s deposition? What did you gain by deposing the guy? I live in California. It’s a no fault state. I’ve thought about doing the same thing with the guy that my wife is involved with, but what’s the point? Seems like it’s just something that would cost more money and have no affect on the outcome.

I live in a state where fault can be established, and judges have wide discretion in assigning spousal support. Adultery is grounds for denying spousal support. My wife at first denied there was any affair, and that she and Don were just friends. In the deposition he verified lots of information about their relationship that she had previously denied. Her story has changed considerably and now she has admitted to things that were previously denied. Yes the process is expensive, but something I had to do. The alternative could be much more expensive.

 

[hurthusband]

Don’t most people spend their time trying to give them up even while they’re married?

I could give my mother in law up in a heartbeat, but my parents are amazing. They have always treated her like a real daughter. My parents have shed a lot of tears over this whole thing.

 

[qui_est_ce]

I could give my mother in law up in a heartbeat, but my parents are amazing. They have always treated her like a real daughter. My parents have shed a lot of tears over this whole thing.

Sin always hurts more than the sinner.

My son’s Boy Scout leader was awesome. He sang in choir and took the kids camping, etc. He was a great role model for my son and a friend of mine. He had been married for about 30 years. A real pillar of the community. When he was 53, he left his wife for a 27-year not yet divorced mother of an infant. She got pregnant by him while he was still living with his wife. When their respective divorces became final, they married and had 2 more children. Can you imagine how betrayed the boys in his troup felt? All of us in choir felt? He continued coming to choir!!! But I think his new wife made him stop. Yesterday he played guitar for the Contemporary Group. I can’t look him in the eye.

 

[styrgwillidar]

I moved out in May I decided I didn’t like being used to pay the bills. My son came home for the Summer and lived with me until he went back last week. The mother in law. She still lives in the house. Here’s another funny story. The wife went and visited my parents last week. We all live in the same town. She brought my dad cookies and brought my mom flowers. They didn’t talk about the divorce at all. Not one mention of it. What was that all about? When you get divorced, don’t you also give up your in laws?

No. My in-laws have been wonderful, good folks and a great example for my kids. I took my kids to visit them on the first weekend I had the kids after the separation because they had approached me about wanting to stay in touch. Weird at first, but I take the kids to visit them about once/month and we ended up going on vacation together last year for 10 days.

We get together on the holidays, they’ve had my folks there and my extended family has had them come to holiday gatherings.

Kids deserved to have their grandparents in their lives and as it turned out, my ex, for various reasons, made it so she couldn’t/wouldn’t take the kids to see her parents. I ended up having the kids full time so, I’m glad my in-laws have been so good in not taking sides and just focusing on being good grandparents.

 

[hurthusband]

No. My in-laws have been wonderful, good folks and a great example for my kids. I took my kids to visit them on the first weekend I had the kids after the separation because they had approached me about wanting to stay in touch. Weird at first, but I take the kids to visit them about once/month and we ended up going on vacation together last year for 10 days.

We get together on the holidays, they’ve had my folks there and my extended family has had them come to holiday gatherings.

Kids deserved to have their grandparents in their lives and as it turned out, my ex, for various reasons, made it so she couldn’t/wouldn’t take the kids to see her parents. I ended up having the kids full time so, I’m glad my in-laws have been so good in not taking sides and just focusing on being good grandparents.

The difference here is that my kids are all in their 20’s. No need for her to keep in touch because of the kids. Does she think she can divorce me, but keep my parents? My parents are sick about this. Now I have to go to court on Thursday with my divorce lawyer. In my wildest dreams, I never thought I’d be in a courtroom with a divorce lawyer.