Q
qui_est_ce
Guest
Good luck. I hope every thing works out for you. Let us know how it goes.
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H
hurting
Guest
In short, yes, your wife wants all of the benefits of being married, including the support and companionship of her in-laws, without the obligations appertaining thereto.
H
hurthusband
Guest
Good news. I don’t have to go to court tomorrow. Spousal support denied.
M
maltmom
Guest
I didn’t they’d give her spousal support, but you never know. Congratulations!
I
Irishmom2
Guest
Good news! Round one goes to you.
Q
qui_est_ce
Guest
Awesome!! !
Q
qui_est_ce
Guest
Has your wife given you a response on that yet?
M
MJJean
Guest
Not necessarily. I got along better with my former in-laws than their son (my ex) did! Plus, my former MIL was only able to have one child and very much wanted more, especially a daughter. Since we always got along well and I understood her need for a daughter of sorts, I stayed in touch. We occasionally talk on the phone and send cards for holidays and birthdays. Besides, my former in-laws are good people and have been very good to me. I saw no reason to not speak with them just because I divorced their son.
Once my ex remarried, about 5 or 6 years ago, my contact with the former MIL has waned a bit, but I am still happy to hear from her and on friendly terms with her. We never discuss the divorce or my remarriage or my ex’s remarriage other than to ask how everyone is doing.
Possible. Also possible she is just being nice to try to relieve her conscience. Or to make herself look better to the social circle or look better in court, somehow. Maybe, though, she genuinely likes her soon to be former in-laws and wants to continue some kind of relationship with them.
H
hurthusband
Guest
My parents have always been generous with their love for my wife. They love her as one of their own even now. They are just hurt by the whole situation. My dad has cried over this, and that just doesn’t happen.
M
MJJean
Guest
Maybe if she continues to have a relationship with them your parents hurt will be lessened.
I know this is a most difficult time for you and you may be tempted to be hurt or angry if your soon to be ex is involved with your family. I hope you’re able to find peace and leave your family to freely decide if they want her in their lives or not.
Q
qui_est_ce
Guest
You are so kind.
H
hurthusband
Guest
My wife needs as many stable people in her life as she can get, so I think you are both right.
M
MJJean
Guest
You are very kind to think of the good of your wife considering the whole situation. An awful lot of people wouldn’t care how their ex spouse fares.
My own divorce was a happy thing. I was so relieved and looked forward to a normal, stable, life. I felt terrible for the children, but their father was not a good example or influence for them and our home life was not a good environment for kids. My ex was a chronic liar, cheater, extremely immature, physically and emotionally abusive, on and on. He isn’t a bad person in his heart. I think he is literally mentally ill. It took me a long time to stop hating him and to let go of everything he did to me and the kids.
The divorce was final October 2002. I’ve remarried, had another child, bought a home and I was certain that I had come to terms with my first marriage and all that went along with it. I was wrong!
When my husband came back to the Church, I decided to come with him. Of course, that meant applying for annulment. I highly recommend the process. I spent a few days filing out the paperwork and I was astonished at how much baggage I was still carrying around. The annulment process has given me peace and understanding that I would never have had without it. Certainly much more than the civil divorce did.
Even if you never intend to remarry, I think an annulment might be worth considering after the divorce is final for the healing it provides, if nothing else.
My own divorce was a happy thing. I was so relieved and looked forward to a normal, stable, life. I felt terrible for the children, but their father was not a good example or influence for them and our home life was not a good environment for kids. My ex was a chronic liar, cheater, extremely immature, physically and emotionally abusive, on and on. He isn’t a bad person in his heart. I think he is literally mentally ill. It took me a long time to stop hating him and to let go of everything he did to me and the kids.
The divorce was final October 2002. I’ve remarried, had another child, bought a home and I was certain that I had come to terms with my first marriage and all that went along with it. I was wrong!
When my husband came back to the Church, I decided to come with him. Of course, that meant applying for annulment. I highly recommend the process. I spent a few days filing out the paperwork and I was astonished at how much baggage I was still carrying around. The annulment process has given me peace and understanding that I would never have had without it. Certainly much more than the civil divorce did.
Even if you never intend to remarry, I think an annulment might be worth considering after the divorce is final for the healing it provides, if nothing else.
Q
qui_est_ce
Guest
Thanks. I am hoping this will work for me. I have no intention of remarrying. but I filled out the original paperwork about 8 years ago. But I keep telling our pastor to do other more important ones first, like people going through RCIA. So that’s where I stand in the process.
Y
Yamila56
Guest
Our Father, Who art in heaven,
Hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Amen.
Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death.
Amen.
Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son,
and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning,
is now,
and ever shall be,
world without end.
Amen.
Jesus I Trust in You!
Hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Amen.
Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death.
Amen.
Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son,
and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning,
is now,
and ever shall be,
world without end.
Amen.
Jesus I Trust in You!
M
MJJean
Guest
Wow! That’s very kind of you! As one of the people in RCIA anxiously awaiting a decree of nullity I very much appreciate your patience and willingness to wait!
I downloaded the annulment application from my archdiocese website and worked on it off and on for a week or so before I was scheduled to meet with our pastor. I answered all the questions and then memories and details just kept flooding my mind. Things I had thought about before were being seen in a new light. Things I never realized occurred to me for the first time. As I edited and added information over the course of days I realized I was dealing with some previously unknown issues and finally putting to bed issues I was aware of. When I signed the papers and handed them over to our pastor I felt a thousand pounds lighter.
Since it’s been so long since you filled out the paperwork maybe you could review it, edit it, and get some insight and healing even without the tribunal decision.
Q
qui_est_ce
Guest
I only filled out the preliminary papers. There is another more in depth set I need to work on, but I haven’t gotten them yet. I hate to push our pastor, because there are so many people like you who want to get right with the Church. I put it in God’s hands.
People like you really give me a spiritual lift.
M
MJJean
Guest
Thank you. Sometimes I am just thrilled to be going to RCIA and Mass and sometimes it’s very difficult because I cannot receive the Sacraments and must wait until the tribunals of first and second instance make their determination to be fully Catholic. It’s hardest when everyone else is receiving Communion and I am not able to join them.I only filled out the preliminary papers. There is another more in depth set I need to work on, but I haven’t gotten them yet. I hate to push our pastor, because there are so many people like you who want to get right with the Church. I put it in God’s hands.
People like you really give me a spiritual lift.
Here is a link to my Archdiocese annulment application. It’s quite detailed. You could always download it and work on it just for your own healing if you want to.
aod.org/being-catholic/marriage-and-family/annulment-information/
Q
qui_est_ce
Guest
Thanks!
G
Guineviere
Guest
Thank you…add me to that list! I devoted my life to my marriage and supported my husbands career and our children only to be traded in after 20+ years all because he was having some sort of crisis.
Anyway, I refuse to be bitter. It is what it is…I licked my wounds and moved on.
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