I need help with NFP

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boocheek

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My husband and I tried to use NFP for more than three years now. The very first time we started using NFP, we were trying to get pregnant and were successful. We had a healthy baby boy. Three months later, I got pregnant again but we were not very careful with NFP at all, we thought we wanted to have another child close to my son’s age, so, we had a baby girl. After my two kids, I thought, I knew what I was doing and was willing to try nfp again. We were having marital acts during phase 1 and phase 3. Four months later, I got pregnant again, but I ended up miscarrying the baby after being pregnant for only 7 weeks. Six months later, I got pregnant again, and I am due in the next 5 weeks. This third pregnancy was not planned, but we feel that we are Blessed to be very fertile. I have been pregnant three years in a row. By the time my third baby comes, I will have three kids under three!!! So, I need help with NFP.
After having three consecutive pregnancies, my hormones have fluctuated and my body has changed my cycle from 29 days to 21 days. With this third pregnancy, I thought that it was ok to have intercourse during phase 1 (before ovulation). My husband and I had intercourse right after my period, but obviously, I ovulated a few days right after my period that’s why I ended up being pregnant again. Do any of you still have marital acts during phase 1? or do you just have marital act on phase 3 alone? I am thinking that after I had the baby, we are just going to use phase 3. What do you think? I need someone to help me please.
Thanks.
 
Hi boocheek, I just want to say congrats on your babies!! And about NFP, well, when DH and I were TTA (trying to avoid) we didn’t have relations during phase 1, only on phase 3, maybe once in a while during phase 2, but we didn’t get pregnant (it could be because I ovulate around day 20 in my cycles). But now we are TTC (trying to conceive), so we don’t abstain. Phase 1 is supposed to be up to day 6 (for beginners), but if you don’t know much about NFP, you’re supposed to abstain.

Do you check for CM (cervical mucus) during phase one? I mean, if you have tacky mucus and you have relations, that CAN get you pregnant, which is probably what happened to you. Do you take your temperature in the morning? Is there any way you could take an NFP class? That way the instructors can refresh your memory and help you understand your signs better.

For now, I’d say abstain until phase 3 starts. You mentioned your cycles got shorter, so that means you’d ovulate sooner. It’s just a matter of looking at the CM, I think. But God can work miracles, so I can’t say.

I know there are people here who are more experienced at NFP than I am, but from what I know, phase 1 should be a no-no. It’s easy to say, I know, but it’s do-able.

Many prayers for you!
 
Hi Yessisan, Thanks for your reply. Yes, my husband and I are thinking of going through an NFP class. I have the Kipley book and I don’t remember reading about Rules of Phase 1 which I just read from an online link about NFP. If you don’t mind me asking, how long have you been using NFP?
 
I have to admit that I made a mistake and was not very careful reading my NFP book. I thought that it was ok to have marital act during phase 1.
My husband and I want to avoid pregnancy from now on, unless of course God Blesses us with yet another pregnancy. Having three kids, all in diapers, will definitely keep us very busy. So, I want to make sure that everything goes very well with NFP after I have my third baby.
 
You definitely need to talk to your instructor, step up your observations and follow all the instructions carefully.

You may also want to consider looking at another method, I learned Creighton and am very happy with it.
 
Which rules are you using to determine the length of phase 1?

You are clearly doing something wrong; try more conservative rules or opt for phase 3 only.
 
I don’t have any advice NFP wise but I wanted to congratulate you on your babies 🙂 I am also expecting my third in the next weeks and will have 3 under three too!!! Just thought it was neat we are both on the same boat right now 🙂
 
boocheek said:
Hi Yessisan, Thanks for your reply. Yes, my husband and I are thinking of going through an NFP class. I have the Kipley book and I don’t remember reading about Rules of Phase 1 which I just read from an online link about NFP. If you don’t mind me asking, how long have you been using NFP?
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I’ve only been using it for 9 months. We avoided for 6 and tried to conceive for 2, got pg, but miscarried last month, and now we’re trying again.

If I were TTA, I’d use the most conservative rules. In phase 1, if I had no mucus after my period and my period was less than 6 days long, we would have relations up to day 6, or completely abstain (depending on how we felt). Then we would use rule C for phase 3. I hope you guys either read the book cover to cover or take an NFP class so you can avoid if you want to avoid.

Best of luck to you!
 
Have you thought about trying ecological breastfeeding (EBF)? I did this with my second baby and remained infertile for a full 18 months postpartum! You can find the method in The Art of Natural Family Planning (John and Sheila Kippley) and in Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing (Sheila Kippley). Or you can read about it at www.nfpandmore.org

We only abstain during Phase 2, however when returning to fertility you have to be particularly careful about the signs (as you no doubt know by now!). Sometimes you can’t even be sure that your “period” wasn’t breakthrough bleeding (a very fertile time) unless it was preceded by a full thermal shift. And, of course, any mucus is potentially fertile.

Hope this helps. God bless you and your three little ones! I know what a handful it is.

mary
 
Thank you all for your kind responses. I will definitely be more careful this time.
God Bless!
 
EBF doesn’t work for everyone…I would be one of those people. I’ve tried it with all 3 of my kids and without fail, I return to having cycles when babies are 3 months old. My kids aren’t as close as yours but we are TTA and have had the best luck with Creighton. Not just the system but the teacher we had was wonderful & helpful and came right to my home as it was hard for me with 3 little ones. If you go here:

fertilitycare.org/teacher.htm

you can (name removed by moderator)ut your location and they will tell you who is the closest teacher to you.

Congrats on your babies! I will pary for a safe delivery and that you are surrounded by helpful people to get you thru this hectic, tiring time!
 
As recommended earlier follow Sheila Keppley’s book, Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing’s, seven standards. Note the difference between exclusive breastfeeding and any on again, off again “cultural breastfeeding” which will not give you the assurance of remaining infertile while breastfeeding.
 
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