I need help with prayer

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I can’t seem to be able to pray. I need a routine or something. I am a Sex addict in recovery, I have depression, anxiety, health problems a temper, I lack charity, lack purity, am selfish, impatient, a loner, I am married and have kids, I work full time. Can someone make up some sort of prayer schedule for me that would help with my struggles? I can’t decide If I should pray the rosary, read bible, litanies, novena’s, chaplets. I have about an hour each morning I can pray before work and about 30 min. before bed. I just can’t decide what to do. The Catholic church is like a feast you see so much (kinds of prayers) and can’t decide what you want, how long do I pray (min., hours)?
Thanks for the help!
 
Dear Shameless,

Great beginning … a conversion of heart, though the spirit is weak and struggling!

While the litanies, rosary, chaplets, etc., are all good, these “vocal” prayers alone, will not help you grow spiritually other than for the grace they make available to you. It is so important to practice “mental” prayer - to meditate.

One place to begin would be the daily mass readings, for I have found that God frequently speaks to us through them by coordinating the events in our lives with what He speaks in scripture. They can be read on EWTN’s website (EWTN.com). To get the fullness of the meaning, you can turn to the bible to read the passages that surround the reading for the day. Read slowly, and then talk to God about it. Ask Him to convict your heart and strengthen your resolve. You may find that He will bless you with sweet anointings that assure you He is listening.

There are also wonderful devotionals for the lay person, and I would highly recommend “Introduction to a Devout Life” by St. Francis de Sales. Read until something strikes you interiorly, and then stop and talk to God about it very simply as to a friend. If nothing “moves” you that day, be assured the teachings are getting into your heart so that the Holy Spirit can recall them to your mind when you are most in need of it.

There is a nondemoninational daily devotional which I found helpful - a best seller - “God Calling” by A. J. Russell. It frequently amazed me how often God spoke to my circumstances through the meditation for the day. He knows the material you are using, and will find ways to speak to you through whatever it is that you choose for your mental prayer.

🙂 Carole
 
I agree with Joysong - a half-hour of disciplined daily meditation on devotional readings can be tremendously beneficial.

But I would also suggest praying the rosary daily. This will also take about a half-hour, and I believe it will help specifically with recovery issues, depression, and anxiety.

Perhaps you could do one in the morning and one in the evening?
 
After daily Mass (if possible), frequent confession, and Adoration for at least one hour a week, The Rosary is the first prayer you should concentrate on, because it has a “routine” built in to it. It is a prayer that engages the whole mind and body. Since the problems you are combatting involve the mind and body, you need to seek remedy in prayer that addresses this reality. Pray the rosary as the Virgin Mary prescribed at Fatima, and as Pope John Paul II reminded us in his encyclical on the rosary: based firmly in scripture, by reading the scripture relating to each mystery and meditating upon it.

If you have too, sit down with Luke’s Gospel (and the topics from John in the new luminous mysteries) and actually read it before reciting each decade, until you have the verses committed to memory. For the time being, this is your best use of sacred scripture in daily prayer, along with the daily lectionary readings.

Other rosary helps include the Magnificat Rosary Companion, Father Peyton’s rosary book (updated with new mysteries), and the Lourdes prayerbook that comes from the Missionary Oblates, with a gift rosary, when you send a donation (see the back cover of any Catholic magazine to donate).
When you have the rosary routine firmly established, begin the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, the scripture to read before it is the Passion (Matthew or John).
 
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Shameless:
I can’t seem to be able to pray. I need a routine or something. I am a Sex addict in recovery, I have depression, anxiety, health problems a temper, I lack charity, lack purity, am selfish, impatient, a loner, I am married and have kids, I work full time. Can someone make up some sort of prayer schedule for me that would help with my struggles? I can’t decide If I should pray the rosary, read bible, litanies, novena’s, chaplets. I have about an hour each morning I can pray before work and about 30 min. before bed. I just can’t decide what to do. The Catholic church is like a feast you see so much (kinds of prayers) and can’t decide what you want, how long do I pray (min., hours)?
Thanks for the help!
God loves those people with humble heart. You are a sinner before but now you can say that you want to change. God will be very happy for this.

First, go to sacramental confession, this will be a very good start for conversion.
Then, pray. you do not need any prayer book or something, what you need is your heart, mind and your soul. Pray for anything that you can think of. what you feel. lift all your feelings to GOD.

Time doesn’t matter, take it slowly. Dont be such in a hurry. God is patient.

Read the bible if you have a free time.

establish a Common prayer time. In your situation, the best time i think is before you sleep. Spend time a little time in prayer. 5 to 15 minutes is enough.

When praying be sure that nobody will disturb you. You can pray outside or in a private room where you can concentrate and nobody will distract you.

If you still have time, pray together with your family, but in your situation i would prefer parying alone.

Go to mass every sunday. That is the best prayer that you can have.

Chaplets, novenas, rosary, and other prayerbook will guide and help you if you have established your common prayer time.

This is what i have done to establish my common prayer time.
:blessyou:
 
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Shameless:
I can’t seem to be able to pray. I need a routine or something. I am a Sex addict in recovery, I have depression, anxiety, health problems a temper, I lack charity, lack purity, am selfish, impatient, a loner, I am married and have kids, I work full time.
…your honesty and humility is very endearing! “the whole of Heaven rejoices over the return of one single sinner” (and we are all sinners on a return journey)… and I think Heaven must be delighted!..St. Teresa of Avila wrote: “Humility! Humility! Humility…it wins The King (Jesus) every time!”

Lots of good advice in this thread … I hope it has helped you…have you thought of seeking out a Spiritual Director?..I dont know what applies wherever you may live, but here in Australia we can be sent a list of experienced directors by ringing Diocesan Offices. We then pick a name from this list and ring and ask for an appointment. A director in one’s journey with The Lord in Prayer can be of invaluable assistance and I certainly agree with advice already given in this thread that you commence with The Sacrament of Reconciliation…this can cover the period back to your last Confession or a good way to being a conversion of life is by a General Confession which is to confess all sins (certainly any serious sins) from your entire past life. A good way to approach this is to ring a priest and ask if you can have an appointment (some priests prefer the Confessional) to make a General Confession. Very often a good confessor for a General Confession is a priest from a Religious Order, but certainly no necessity.

I particularly liked the Post by viktor aleksndr…Prayer is simply the raising of the heart and of the mind to God whatever method we find suits us best.

May The Lord and his Holy Mother and St. Joseph, St. Paul and your Guardian Angel guide and guard you, be your inspiration, as you unite your life to The Lord in Prayer and may he lead you safely and speedily to the summit …

Barb
 
Also, if you’re finding it difficult to block out a long length of time for deep prayer or trouble concetrating, offer up short prayers throughout the day, like at work or doing something at home. While doing some mundane task say “O Jesus it is for love of You” or even just “Jesus I love You!”.

Good luck and God Bless
 
I have to recommend the Rosary because it is not only vocal prayer but also meditation. Our Lady will magnify the Lord for you like she did for me.👍 (DR Luke 1:46).
 
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Shameless:
I can’t seem to be able to pray. I need a routine or something. I am a Sex addict in recovery, I have depression, anxiety, health problems a temper, I lack charity, lack purity, am selfish, impatient, a loner, I am married and have kids, I work full time. Can someone make up some sort of prayer schedule for me that would help with my struggles? I can’t decide If I should pray the rosary, read bible, litanies, novena’s, chaplets. I have about an hour each morning I can pray before work and about 30 min. before bed. I just can’t decide what to do. The Catholic church is like a feast you see so much (kinds of prayers) and can’t decide what you want, how long do I pray (min., hours)?
Thanks for the help!
I had been praying for you last night and then again today asking The Lord if I could be of any help to you at all other than through prayer…and then I stumbled rather accidentally, it seemed!..over this site while looking for something else entirely and immediately I thought of you:

Psychological Healing in the Catholic Mystical Tradition: Learning to Pray…

chastitysf.guidetopsychology.com/howtopray.htm

I have only glanced rather quickly through it and hope that it may in some way be helpful to you…I am now returning to the site myself to look closer into it…

Peace and Joy and the knowledge of the boundless infinite and loving Mercy of The Lord":… “blood red be your guilt, I shall wash it white like yonder new washed fleece”…
“In my Father’s House there are many mansions. I go now to prepare a place for YOU”…

Barb
 
Your question is a very good one for what is such a busy world! I often found it hard to find the time to pray as well. I began to pray in the car while driving instead of listening to the radio. This was a big sacrifce for me because I love to listen to music! I gave this time to God, even if it was just for a few minutes. Soon I began praying more throughout the day–even just little prayers here and there. Sometimes I would just say “Jesus I love you! Thank You for this day and for your suffering on the cross for my sins.” As my relationship grew closer with Christ, I began to find the time to pray and really looked forward to my time with God. Just like with a friend on earth, your relationship with Christ will grow and become deeper the more time you give. As this relationship grows, the more care you will give to it and thus the deeper it will become. It is really a beautiful cycle. Learning to pray is hard. It is still hard for me at times. Like anything else, however, if you nurture it, it will bloom. Also, if you are having a hard time with words, try meditation. Just sit quietly and let the Lord in on your feelings. No words are necessary. This is just silent beautiful prayer. Good luck and remember: a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

God Bless You!
 
The Rosary is a powerful prayer so I suggest that you don’t leave it behind. The other form of prayer that I find beneficial is to converse with God. Sure, it might sound corny, but on your drive to work (assuming you drive alone) talk to God - do some vocal prayer. It is good sometimes to hear ourselves speak to God and to hear ourselves ask for His help that day and so on. We don’t always have to fill up all the quite time with stuff - sometimes we need to just pray straight from the heart.

Either way. Keep saying the Rosary!
 
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Shameless:
I can’t seem to be able to pray. I need a routine or something. I am a Sex addict in recovery,
Since you are in recovery, what does your sponsor suggest?
 
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Shameless:
I can’t seem to be able to pray. I need a routine or something.
Sorry I only just saw this thread today. Here is a routine:

6:00 a.m. Lectio (Bible reading and meditation) based on today’s readings from usccb.org/nab

6:20 a.m. Morning Prayer from liturgyhours.org use Personal Prayer Display format

6:40 a.m. Personal prayers as described in CCC 2626-2643 i.e.
vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p4s1c1a3.htm
BLESSING AND ADORATION
PRAYER OF PETITION
PRAYER OF INTERCESSION
PRAYER OF THANKSGIVING
PRAYER OF PRAISE
 
Be Still and Know That I Am God" (Psalm 45:11)

Rev. Fr. Andrew Jarmus
Director of Missions, Education and
Communications, UOCC

Two of my favorite stories about prayer come from Metropolitan Anthony Bloom’s book, Living Prayer. The first is about an old man who would sit in church for hours, without praying. When asked what he was doing just sitting in the church, he replied, “I look at Him, He looks at me and we are happy together.” The other story is about a woman who had prayed constantly, repeating the Jesus Prayer, for 14 years yet never felt the presence of God and never heard Him speaking to her. Then someone pointed out to her that for 14 years, she had been talking but had never stopped long enough to listen. Both stories point out an important concept that the Fathers of the Church have stressed throughout the ages. That is the concept of “hesychia” or stillness and silence.

If we take a close look at our world, we will see that almost every aspect of our lives is filled with noise. Noise for the ears, noise for the eyes and especially noise for the mind. It is very seldom that we take an opportunity to be without noise or distraction. One Orthodox nun talks about the abundance of signs and advertising that she notices on her trips outside her monastery - “visual noise” which we take for granted. Sit and listen at various times of the day and try to find moments in which you are in complete silence. Try sometime to go a day without initiating some sort of noise such as the TV, radio, telephone, stereo, etc.

In North America, we spend our lives on the go ¾ working, playing, always “doing”, always active. The Protestant work ethic, prevalent in our world, tells us that unless we are doing something, we cannot accomplish anything edifying. The Orthodox Church teaches us that silence and stillness is the starting point of spiritual growth and it is also its final achievement. There must be a time when we stop everything, good or bad, and alertly wait, simply standing in God’s presence, ready for whatever He chooses to give us.

The Fathers often speak of our prayer life as a lake which when agitated, even with the slightest ripple, cannot clearly reflect what is around it. The same lake, when still, provides a near perfect mirror image of it’s surroundings. Metropolitan Anthony states that “Silence is the state in which all the powers of the soul and all the faculties of the body are completely at peace, quiet and recollected, perfectly alert yet free from any turmoil or agitation.” He goes on to say that stillness is how we give God the opportunity to reveal Himself to us because it is in stillness that we are more likely to notice.

One of the great spiritual fathers of our Church, St. John of the Ladder, author of “The Ladder of Divine Ascent”, says stillness is “worshipping God unceasingly and waiting on Him.” St. John’s prescription for prayer is threefold: 1) Disengagement from every affair good and bad; 2) Urgent prayer; 3) Inviolable activity of the heart.

Step one means that we are to put all external and inner distractions and noisiness aside. These would also include mental images, expectations of God and even past experiences of Him. In order to achieve this state, we have to give up everything and remain alert so as to be ready for God to reveal Himself to us as He chooses to. As long as there is any outer or inner motion or activity, we are like the pond which has had it’s muddy bottom disturbed and no linger gives a clear view. As Christ says in the Sermon on the Mount, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” (Matt 5:8) Step two refers to a rule of prayer and step three refers to ceaseless prayer such as the Jesus Prayer. He goes on to stress that “…just as you have to know the alphabet if you are to read books, so if you have missed out on the first task, you cannot enter upon the other two.”

In short, the start of prayer is to set aside time to practice stillness and silence. Sit or stand before God in a quiet place and try to rid yourself of all thoughts and actions. Then be alert and wait quietly for God to act. Start with short periods and try to increase them in length with time and practice. The end of prayer is to reach a level of comfort with God that no words need to be spoken and that you are comfortable just being in His presence. This is when real prayer can begin.

uocc.ca/silence.html
 
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Shameless:
I don’t have a sponsor.
My sponsor taught me to pray.

Find someone who has long-term sobriety who seems to be happy and serene in the way you’d like to be and ask them!

I found it hard to pray before I found a faith that works for me and my sponsor gave me the encouragement I needed, and helped me find the words and method that opened the door for God.

Now that I have a connection to God, tenuous though it is, I find that it’s hard to continue doing what works (prayer) and my sponsor also helps with this. Addiction is a disease of forgetting: I consistently forget to pray, even though it works so well for me! My sponsor helps me remember to pray.

You have gotten lots of good comments about prayer in this thread but in my opinion, for an addict, prayer is quite literally a matter of life or death and you need to find something that will work for you. I love the rosary and said it frequently, but it was not the connection to God I needed even though it is a beautiful prayer that I still like to say.

Right now, what works for me is saying “God, please keep me sober today. I love you” in my head before I open my eyes in the morning. At night I say “God thanks for keeping me sober today.” Every few days I write a letter to God. When I do this, it works. When I forget, I’m in trouble, and if it wasn’t for my sponsor I wouldn’t be able to get back on track.

Best of luck to you in your recovery.
 
I highly recommend starting out by saying the Rosary. I was a fallen-away Catholic, had many problems, and pretty much a “zero” prayer-life. But when I came back, the first thing I started out with was saying the Rosary. I managed to get to the point where I was saying it daily, mostly at night after the kids had gone to bed. It then progressed to saying prayers in the morning, grace at meals, and prayers at night, in addition to the Rosary.

I now am able to pray at any time of the day - during my breaks at work, driving in the car, pausing at my computer at work to say a brief prayer or the Divine Mercy Chaplet.

It takes time to develop a prayer life. Taking things one step at a time, and building on each step is a good way to preservere.

God Bless!
 
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