I need help...

[PrAyFoRpUrItY]

I started masturbating in late April, purely out of curiosity. I had never orgasmed before that so I wanted to know what it was pretty much. I was 18. At first I thought i was really old for that to be my first orgasm, and now, after months of a sinful habit, I wish I STILL didn’t know what an orgasm felt like.

I have a boyfriend. We got together this past January, so, we’ve been together for over 10 months. He was my first boyfriend and hopefully, if it be God’s will, he will be my last. I love him and he is such a wonderful Catholic young man. He had my same problem at a young age, but stopped at age 13 and has been pure since then. He’s now 19. We have never even kissed on the lips, because his first kiss wants to be on his wife’s lips on the altar. He helps me so much with my self abuse problem.

Since August I have been trying VERY hard to quit this dreadful habit!! At first, since I did it daily during the summer, I would go three days without falling, and then an entire week. Just recently I went three weeks, which is the longest I’ve ever gone since the beginning of June or so. When I fall I become depressed. And the past few times I’ve fallen, I’ve despaired…I really have. I try so hard and it is so hard to stop since it has been an addiction for me! I just become overwhelmed with sexual tension and a need to release, which is usually why I fall in the first place…I just want to be able to walk without feeling it, or sit down or lie down without worrying…I don’t know how else to stop it. I have tried to master this problem but I can’t seem to do that completely!

My boyfriend prays with me, and tells me I’m getting better…but I just feel depressed now. I feel like I can never do this…it just doesn’t seem fair that we have to stop something that comes naturally. And I try so hard to be pure. I feel like a slut!

Please pray for me and if you can, offer words of advise? Thank you…

 

[Sailka]

I started masturbating in late April, purely out of curiosity. I had never orgasmed before that so I wanted to know what it was pretty much. I was 18. At first I thought i was really old for that to be my first orgasm, and now, after months of a sinful habit, I wish I STILL didn’t know what an orgasm felt like.

I have a boyfriend. We got together this past January, so, we’ve been together for over 10 months. He was my first boyfriend and hopefully, if it be God’s will, he will be my last. I love him and he is such a wonderful Catholic young man. He had my same problem at a young age, but stopped at age 13 and has been pure since then. He’s now 19. We have never even kissed on the lips, because his first kiss wants to be on his wife’s lips on the altar. He helps me so much with my self abuse problem.

Since August I have been trying VERY hard to quit this dreadful habit!! At first, since I did it daily during the summer, I would go three days without falling, and then an entire week. Just recently I went three weeks, which is the longest I’ve ever gone since the beginning of June or so. When I fall I become depressed. And the past few times I’ve fallen, I’ve despaired…I really have. I try so hard and it is so hard to stop since it has been an addiction for me! I just become overwhelmed with sexual tension and a need to release, which is usually why I fall in the first place…I just want to be able to walk without feeling it, or sit down or lie down without worrying…I don’t know how else to stop it. I have tried to master this problem but I can’t seem to do that completely!

My boyfriend prays with me, and tells me I’m getting better…but I just feel depressed now. I feel like I can never do this…it just doesn’t seem fair that we have to stop something that comes naturally. And I try so hard to be pure. I feel like a slut!

Please pray for me and if you can, offer words of advise? Thank you…

You and your boyfriend are so wonderful! Please post this request under PRAYER INTENTIONS. Are other similar threads there, with helpful advice!.
One Best way is, when the inclination to begin occurs, think of people who are in Desperate Need of Help, like Partiers, Drunk kids, and Pray for THEM. Works for me. Pray for impossibly bad off peeps, who are in desperate need of help. Prayers for Others work the Best. And your caring boyfriend is helping, as a True young man should!. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us now, and at the hour of our Death, Amen. and your boyfriend! Know you have a Real young man, wanting to help You!.

 

[TLDenmark]

Dear PrAyFoRpUrItY

First of all let me start by congratulation you, it is wonderful to hear that you have chosen to fight this sin and that you are showing progress . Believe me I know it is not easy to fight against this particular sin, but it sounds like you are slowly recovering. Since August you have improved your record from 3 days to 3 weeks, there really is ground for great joy and hope. Also thankfully our God is a loving and merciful God, and it sounds like your boyfriend is a patient and virtues guy that loves you very much. With their help, you are going to get trough it.

As for advice, I can only tell you to make frequent use of the sacraments. Confession (weekly if you can) and taking communion will help you and strengthen you. Also develop your prayer life and focus on Christ, you can not go wrong with any of that. If porn is an issue, you must get rid of it. You really should try to avoid all of the things that usually tempt you into sin, that includes movies, music, whatever. Finally, you are not a slut or a bad person. You are one of Gods wonderful creations, and I will be praying for you.

God bless you
TL

 

[Sailka]

I started masturbating in late April, purely out of curiosity. I had never orgasmed before that so I wanted to know what it was pretty much. I was 18. At first I thought i was really old for that to be my first orgasm, and now, after months of a sinful habit, I wish I STILL didn’t know what an orgasm felt like.

I have a boyfriend. We got together this past January, so, we’ve been together for over 10 months. He was my first boyfriend and hopefully, if it be God’s will, he will be my last. I love him and he is such a wonderful Catholic young man. He had my same problem at a young age, but stopped at age 13 and has been pure since then. He’s now 19. We have never even kissed on the lips, because his first kiss wants to be on his wife’s lips on the altar. He helps me so much with my self abuse problem.

Since August I have been trying VERY hard to quit this dreadful habit!! At first, since I did it daily during the summer, I would go three days without falling, and then an entire week. Just recently I went three weeks, which is the longest I’ve ever gone since the beginning of June or so. When I fall I become depressed. And the past few times I’ve fallen, I’ve despaired…I really have. I try so hard and it is so hard to stop since it has been an addiction for me! I just become overwhelmed with sexual tension and a need to release, which is usually why I fall in the first place…I just want to be able to walk without feeling it, or sit down or lie down without worrying…I don’t know how else to stop it. I have tried to master this problem but I can’t seem to do that completely!

My boyfriend prays with me, and tells me I’m getting better…but I just feel depressed now. I feel like I can never do this…it just doesn’t seem fair that we have to stop something that comes naturally. And I try so hard to be pure. I feel like a slut!

Please pray for me and if you can, offer words of advise? Thank you…

Another thought, PrAy: Know that each time you give in to The Temptation, before Marriage, you weaken a tiny bit your full Romantic potential in Marriage. Only the Ultimate Union In Marriage has Everything Ideal, as God Designed us. And know how Ideal your boyfriend Is. He wants Your happiness, successes Most of all!
Say some Thank you prayers for Him, and Each pray for the health and success of the future spouse! Is one key prayer, that Works!

 

[LittleOne1]

Hey Prayforpurity,
First Bravo on both wanting to and struggling to overcome this and for such a supportive boyfriend. It is great that you have sorrow for sins and a desire to change.
Now to help get over this issue. First like others said, prayer and confession are excellent. The best thing to do next is consider some form of sacrifice like fasting on Friday’s or no meat. Taking control in other areas will help you control other bodily urges.
Finally, I say have a couple things to do. Exercise if you feel the urge, or have a set workout routine. Also, maybe if you live by yourself spend more times away from home like study at libraries in school or read a book at a coffee shop. Being in public helps to keep the urge away.
Hope that helps dear ,
Prayers,
LittleOne1

 

[Sailka]

Hey Prayforpurity,
First Bravo on both wanting to and struggling to overcome this and for such a supportive boyfriend. It is great that you have sorrow for sins and a desire to change.
Now to help get over this issue. First like others said, prayer and confession are excellent. The best thing to do next is consider some form of sacrifice like fasting on Friday’s or no meat. Taking control in other areas will help you control other bodily urges.
Finally, I say have a couple things to do. Exercise if you feel the urge, or have a set workout routine. Also, maybe if you live by yourself spend more times away from home like study at libraries in school or read a book at a coffee shop. Being in public helps to keep the urge away.
Hope that helps dear ,
Prayers,
LittleOne1

Great Thoughts; Adding more ideas: Best Help is Our Lord/His Church: Confession: masturbation complerted is a mortal sin; Confession Through priest required, to qualify for the Eucharist.

And visits To Church, for prayer. If conditions permit, Daily Mass. God Bless! (Say Thank you prayers for Your and boyfriend’s wonderful qualities, attitudes. ):thankyou: :curtsey: :bowdown2:

 

[PrAyFoRpUrItY]

You and your boyfriend are so wonderful! Please post this request under PRAYER INTENTIONS. Are other similar threads there, with helpful advice!.
One Best way is, when the inclination to begin occurs, think of people who are in Desperate Need of Help, like Partiers, Drunk kids, and Pray for THEM. Works for me. Pray for impossibly bad off peeps, who are in desperate need of help. Prayers for Others work the Best. And your caring boyfriend is helping, as a True young man should!. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us now, and at the hour of our Death, Amen. and your boyfriend! Know you have a Real young man, wanting to help You!.

Thank you for your kind words. And yes, my boyfriend IS wonderful. We both have problems here and there, but we try very hard to do God’s will and every day ask ourselves if we are in a relationship that is pleasing to God! If it is not, we try to better ourselves…I feel like it isn’t fair to him that I am doing this! I tell him this, and he says it isn’t fair to ME. I don’t like myself very much actually…and I think that is my problem partly. I don’t like the way I look, or act sometimes…anyway, thanks again, and that is a good idea - to pray for others when I am in a state of temptation. Please continue to pray for me and I’ll pray for you.

Dear PrAyFoRpUrItY

First of all let me start by congratulation you, it is wonderful to hear that you have chosen to fight this sin and that you are showing progress . Believe me I know it is not easy to fight against this particular sin, but it sounds like you are slowly recovering. Since August you have improved your record from 3 days to 3 weeks, there really is ground for great joy and hope. Also thankfully our God is a loving and merciful God, and it sounds like your boyfriend is a patient and virtues guy that loves you very much. With their help, you are going to get trough it.

As for advice, I can only tell you to make frequent use of the sacraments. Confession (weekly if you can) and taking communion will help you and strengthen you. Also develop your prayer life and focus on Christ, you can not go wrong with any of that. If porn is an issue, you must get rid of it. You really should try to avoid all of the things that usually tempt you into sin, that includes movies, music, whatever. Finally, you are not a slut or a bad person. You are one of Gods wonderful creations, and I will be praying for you.

God bless you
TL

Hi there. Thanks for the words of encouragement. And I do try to go to confession weekly. As for communion, since I don’t have my license yet, I can only go once a week. I hope to get my license soon so that I can go more often. I DO need to develop a prayer life. My boyfriend keeps telling me to pray, but I’m bitter. I try hard, and I fall! And I pray over and over for help. But it doesn’t seem to work! This sounds horrible, but I’m sick of praying. Porn is not an issue, thank goodness. I become aroused when I look at it, but I never do unless I run into it. I never had to stop myself from looking it up. That is a blessing. Thank you for the prayers!

 

[PrAyFoRpUrItY]

Hey Prayforpurity,
First Bravo on both wanting to and struggling to overcome this and for such a supportive boyfriend. It is great that you have sorrow for sins and a desire to change.
Now to help get over this issue. First like others said, prayer and confession are excellent. The best thing to do next is consider some form of sacrifice like fasting on Friday’s or no meat. Taking control in other areas will help you control other bodily urges.
Finally, I say have a couple things to do. Exercise if you feel the urge, or have a set workout routine. Also, maybe if you live by yourself spend more times away from home like study at libraries in school or read a book at a coffee shop. Being in public helps to keep the urge away.
Hope that helps dear ,
Prayers,
LittleOne1

I do not eat meat on Fridays, but I’d like to give something else up, thanks for the advise. What it boils down to is, I feel a need to release and it is almost impossible to resist!! I live in the country right now with my family, so, it’s hard to go out all of the time. I DO work at the YMCA and I try to work out a lot. I’m starting to think that I simply need a routine…

 

[Sailka]

I do not eat meat on Fridays, but I’d like to give something else up, thanks for the advise. What it boils down to is, I feel a need to release and it is almost impossible to resist!! I live in the country right now with my family, so, it’s hard to go out all of the time. I DO work at the YMCA and I try to work out a lot. I’m starting to think that I simply need a routine…

Ask your boyfriend how he conquers the urge. We males have real ‘urge’ after a week. How does he conquer his problem? I have conquered mine, as single male. :yyeess: I’ve offered ideas on how to, in several posts. Bless you!

One of my ideas, when Urge comes: What would Jesus, BVM want me to do, think on that briefly. helps comquer urge! And think how Ideal You can be, for your future Husband! Think of Him, in keeping Yourself pure. As He is for You.

 

[chris_molter]

You’re very lucky to have a boyfriend that doesn’t enable your sins. That’s a rare thing indeed!!

Also, it’s good you’re avoiding graphic images/videos. I’d also recommend avoiding any other source of temptation (erotic stories, books, etc) that might lead you on. Also, try saying a Hail Mary when your mind starts wandering off into fantasyland!

 

[TLDenmark]

Hi there. Thanks for the words of encouragement. And I do try to go to confession weekly. As for communion, since I don’t have my license yet, I can only go once a week. I hope to get my license soon so that I can go more often. I DO need to develop a prayer life. My boyfriend keeps telling me to pray, but I’m bitter. I try hard, and I fall! And I pray over and over for help. But it doesn’t seem to work! This sounds horrible, but I’m sick of praying. Porn is not an issue, thank goodness. I become aroused when I look at it, but I never do unless I run into it. I never had to stop myself from looking it up. That is a blessing. Thank you for the prayers!

Don’t beat yourself up over it; I know where you are coming from. When I fall, I usually get really down and have a real difficult time praying for a couple of days. A quick confession will change that, but otherwise my instinct (foolish as it is) is to hide myself from God. Also as the tension increase, I sometime tire from the struggle and slack on the praying. Usually that is when I fall. So you are not alone, but you might try to work at it. A good advice might be to build yourself a prayer routine, where you pray every morning and evening. Right after getting up and before going to bed, possibly you can also make room for a midday prayer or pray before your meals. What is important, I think, is that you also make room for thanksgiving and simply enjoying Gods company. Anyhow it is also ok to cry out when you need to.

God Bless you
TL

 

[Julian_Peters]

Please see the following link for additional insight:
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=208045