I need help!

[Ady2477]

I am stuggling and missing my girlfriend that i have had for almost a year now . We were so close and in love no longer then 2-3 months ago and an incident happened where i found some e-mail from her to her co-worker that was not the best e-mail it was very misleading but i knew it was not meant to sound like that , we cleared that incident up but i began to be over the top and very protective and selfish i would need to know where she was at all times, who she was talking to, and what she is thinking .I know i made a big mistake and it caused us to keep our distance ,now i talked to her today and she said all she wants is it to be like we used to be. I will definately change and i know she still loves me , but my question is why do i feel so bad and guilty how can i prove it to her ,besides showing her the most affection possible and also having fun times with her . I needed to talk to someone about this because she is the only one i do talk about this stuff with and shge is not here right now so i call upon those that want to help ,can you please tell me what i need to do so i can make it right with her again.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

I am stuggling and missing my girlfriend that i have had for almost a year now . We were so close and in love no longer then 2-3 months ago and an incident happened where i found some e-mail from her to her co-worker that was not the best e-mail it was very misleading but i knew it was not meant to sound like that , we cleared that incident up but i began to be over the top and very protective and selfish i would need to know where she was at all times, who she was talking to, and what she is thinking .I know i made a big mistake and it caused us to keep our distance ,now i talked to her today and she said all she wants is it to be like we used to be. I will definately change and i know she still loves me , but my question is why do i feel so bad and guilty how can i prove it to her ,besides showing her the most affection possible and also having fun times with her . I needed to talk to someone about this because she is the only one i do talk about this stuff with and shge is not here right now so i call upon those that want to help ,can you please tell me what i need to do so i can make it right with her again.

Before you can give yourself to another person you have to know yourself. I am sorry to say this, but based upon the little bit that you wrote here, you do not know yourself. Seemingly you both have good intentions to “get it back to what it used to be” but things have changed, more importantly, you have changed.

There is a big hang up in the two of you moving forward. And that hangup is trust. It is very clear when you said:

we cleared that incident up but i began to be over the top and very protective and selfish i would need to know where she was at all times, who she was talking to, and what she is thinking .

This is the most telling statement of this entire post. I understand your desire to be back to what you used to be, your desire to be with her and to have her in your life, but please take some time to look within yourself. Do you trust her? Can you trust her? If she tells you she wants to go out with her friends, what would you do?

Living a life looking over your shoulder is not a life. Living a life where you cannot trust one of the most important persons in your life is not a life.

You have to get “you” right first. Focus on that moreso than the relationship.

BTW, welcome to the forums.