I need help.

[Needfood]

Hello, I am new to the fourms and I am going though some tough spiritual times right now. I am 15 years old and just a couple days ago I told my mom (who is Catholic) I didn’t want to be confirmed. I don’t feel anything from church anymore. I considered the priesthood a year ago and now I am not sure if I want to be Atheist/Agnostic. My mother is sad and depressed. She thinks she almost failed as a parent. I am crushed. I still want to go to church for my mom. What should I do? Should I stay were I am, and not look at other possible religions, or something else?

Thanks.

 

[SpaceNeedle]

Keep going to mass with mom. Let your mom know that even though you aren’t confirming, that you will continue to study your faith more, and out of respect for her, will continue to go to mass.

Lots of people wait to confirm until they feel “sure”, for what its worth. I experienced the same thing you are as a teen…you very well may get past it shortly.

 

[LDNCatholic]

Hi needfood and welcome to CAF.

You say you don’t feel anything from the Church anymore. Can you be more specific? After all religion and spirituality is about what we believe as well as just what we feel.

You say you were considering the priesthood, have you thought that maybe this is a test?

 

[Guyonthestreet]

First off, kudos for being bold enough to ask the questions and come on here and seek guidance.

As a teenager, your gonna be a bit all over the place emotionally and mentally - nothing wrong or unusual about that - it’s perfectly normal to kick off against everything and everyone.

Im not a catholic but Im pleased youve come on here for advice - I cant give you any regarding whats the best thing to do via a vie your religion but you might be better off asking the same question in the catholic living or apologetics section as a lot of learned people hang out there.

I wish you well young man - I remember being 15, and I would never ever want to go back there !!! It’s not an easy time of life.

Whatever happens and whatever you decide, I pray God will keep you near to him, and Bless you and your mother.

 

[Needfood]

Hi needfood and welcome to CAF.

You say you don’t feel anything from the Church anymore. Can you be more specific? After all religion and spirituality is about what we believe as well as just what we feel.

You say you were considering the priesthood, have you thought that maybe this is a test?

I feel like it could be lies. What makes sin wrong? Maybe we could be the ones that are wrong, or am I being brain washed? Those are the questions I am asking myself a lot. I don’t really feel bad for rejecting the church but disappointing my family.

 

[JonNC]

Hello, I am new to the fourms and I am going though some tough spiritual times right now. I am 15 years old and just a couple days ago I told my mom (who is Catholic) I didn’t want to be confirmed. I don’t feel anything from church anymore. I considered the priesthood a year ago and now I am not sure if I want to be Atheist/Agnostic. My mother is sad and depressed. She thinks she almost failed as a parent. I am crushed. I still want to go to church for my mom. What should I do? Should I stay were I am, and not look at other possible religions, or something else?

Thanks.

Dear Needfood,
At 15 years old, it isn’t surprising that you have doubts and spiritual tough times. It is the nature of being a teenager to question, have doubts, and want to consider other directions.

My first thought reading your post is that you are honest: you would prefer not to be confirmed at this time, because you may not be ready to confirm your faith. You have doubts.
That said, you also have an obligation to your mom to go to Church where she asks you to go, until you reach an age where these choices become solely yours.
I would also suggest that you’ve made a huge swing from thinking priesthood to thinking agnostic. Further, I would encourage you to stay where you are, and allow the holy Spirit to move within you, building on your Baptism. Keep an open mind and heart to Him, and see where He leads you.

Jon

 

[LDNCatholic]

I feel like it could be lies. What makes sin wrong? Maybe we could be the ones that are wrong, or am I being brain washed? Those are the questions I am asking myself a lot. I don’t really feel bad for rejecting the church but disappointing my family.

Big questions. All I can recommend is that you do your own research into it mate. Speak with representatives (not just members) of religions (including Catholicism) to make sure you are interpreting your research correctly.

Do you still believe in God?

 

[Needfood]

Big questions. All I can recommend is that you do your own research into it mate. Speak with representatives (not just members) of religions (including Catholicism) to make sure you are interpreting your research correctly.

Do you still believe in God?

I think that there is possibility that there could be a god.

 

[ParkerD]

Need food,
You could try asking your Mom if she and you could read favorite chapters from the Bible together, such as the Sermon on the Mount or some of the parables. If you show respect for her opinion, she may respect yours more, even if you each have different points of view. Reading the Bible together aloud, taking turns, can help mend riffs and bring a feeling of peace to each of you.

 

[Angel_Face]

Dear Needfood,
I would like to say to you that most teenagers have their doubts about certain things. It is quite normal. You are at an age where many questions come up, which in many ways is good. When I was your age, I did not question my religion, I pretty much just went along with it, because I am 1 of 8 children. We all went to Mass every Saturday/Sunday, that’s the way it was. I must also add, I loved it. It was a time of peace and a time to give God extra attention.
I believe I would encourage you to talk to both your Mom and your Parish Priest. You seem like a very kind young man, you want to please your Mom. That is indeed a very good quality you have! You, too, need to please yourself … maybe by talking with your Mom and your Priest you can figure out some answers for yourself.
Please try to open your heart up to God. You know what, there are times when I think God doesn’t always hear me, but I never stop talking to Him.
I can’t say for sure, but I feel there is something about you that makes me think you do believe in God … you may be having a hard time recognizing it right now, which again is not the worst thing. At times you find the strongest believers having some trouble accepting everything.
There’s times when I have a hard time concentrating when I pray, but tonight when I say my prayers, I will not have a problem at all adding YOU to my prayers!!!
May God Bless and keep YOU,
Angel Face

 

[Langdell]

I think that there is possibility that there could be a god.

I left the Church when I was a teenager, and it has taken me decades to find my way back. I wish a website like CAF had existed in the 1970s!

I would respectfully urge you to continue going to mass. There is nothing wrong with going even if your faith is shaky. I think it will help you remain balanced while you walk along the line between belief and doubt.

Remember that your spirit needs to be fed just as much as your body and your mind. A life of doubt is a life of spiritual starvation. I’ve been there.

God bless you, and keep trying!
.

 

[Angel_Face]

Dear Needfood,
I like the advice Langdell is giving you!!!

Angel Face

 

[OneTrueCathApos]

I think that there is possibility that there could be a god.

Just by saying that shows me you still have a flicker of fire left in you. Ignite that fire back up by learning your Catholic faith. Try reading books that will keep you interested in your faith and make you say “Wow, I never realized that”. You will see the power of Christ as you understand your knowledge of the church.
If you need recommended reading, I will give you names of great books to help you. But first LEARN about the faith before you decide. I will pray for you.

 

[DdMac679]

I am going to go against the grain here and suggest a difference course of action. Speaking from my own experience, a person who is forced to continue in a religion that they currently doubt will cause them greater damage in their spiritual journey. You are currently 15 years old and it is normal to hit an age of reason where something you took for granted may no longer make any sense to you. Should you step away from the church? Well that is up to you no matter whose house you live in. I find that going to church when you don’t believe or even want to be there is much more a grave offense than not going because of doubt in ones faith. You should not worry about the priesthood but worry about growing up. Worry about getting good grades, your family, and your community. Speak to people within your religious community outside of your family concerning your feelings. Speak to your Priest and even your peers. It is ok to question. It is ok to have fear. It is ok to trust your feelings but do so in the correct manner and what lies ahead is between you and God. My journey to return to religion is still ongoing even after 24 years so I know how you feel. I pray that your journey is one of quickness and that this experience is nothing more than simple teenage curiosity and questioning.

 

[PapaSquash]

I’m going to giveyou the same advice that was given to me when I was 15, by an associate pastor, who may have saved me.

Back in the 1930’s when airplanes were new and marvelous, there were barnstormers, who flew their rickety biplanes to towns and fairs to entertain the people with feats of aerial bravado. The bravest and most spectacular of these barnstormers were the “wing walkers.” Wing walkers would climb out of the cockpit of the plane and, clinging to the struts and braces that hold the two wings together, amaze crowds by their feats of bravery.

There is a rule that all sucessful wing walkers must follow: Never let go of something, until you have got hold of something else.

That was the advice I received. Don’t go out into the wilds alone. The wilds are bewildering. If you think you have to look at alternatives, look from within the Church. You can look at the Church from where you are sitting in the pew and you can look at any other faith, or at the prospect of abandoning faith. Then if you find a new home, step out of the Catholic Church into your new home.

There’s no need to be homeless. Homelessness could happen, I suppose, if one’s faith were shattered; but mere doubt is no reason to abandon the Church. Doubt is a fact of life, use it to motivate greater learning. Don’t let the romantic notion of being a rootless man on a spiritual quest, finding your own way in the world, take you away from the greatest body of theological knowledge ever accumulated by mankind.

Hang around for a while. Abstain from communion if you feel you must. Read some C.S. Lewis (Mere Christianity), G.K. Chesterton (The Everlasting Man) Peter Kreeft (Handbook of Christian Apologetics)

God bless you, wherever you go.

 

[kalt]

I think that there is possibility that there could be a god.

I think most people have had a period (usually the teen/young adult years) in which they’ve wondered if they’re being a fool.

Q. Am I a being duped?
A. No

Q. Am I a fool for believing in God?
A. No

Q. If there is a God, why don’t I “feel” anything.
A. Faith is about belief not emotion. There is nothing like the peace that faith in God brings, which comes from submitting to His will, but it’s not a constant emotion. You’lll still get angry, sad, happy, numb, etc. You’re still human with all human emotions.

Q. But I was “hot” for God just a year ago? Why do I feel nothing now?
A. For the same reason you loved a video game when the idea first came to you. Don’t be a flash-in-the-pan kind of person who is “into” something at the start and then loses all interest later. Slow and steady really does win the race. You don’t have to be all-in or all-out. Life is not an all-or-nothing proposition–ever.

Q. How do I know that this God is the right God.
A. There is only one God.

Q. How do I know for sure that there is a God?
A. Faith.

Q. How do I get faith?
A. You already have it. Nurture it.

Q. How do I strengthen my faith when it feels so weak, almost like it’s gone altogether?
A. Through the sacraments.

Q. How can I find the answers? Where do I search?
A. You start at home, the Catholic Church. When you know all that you possibly can about the CC, compare the rest.

 

[AmyLiz]

You have received a lot of good advice here!

I just wanted to add my voice to the mix & let you know that I too had my doubts around your age. I think between the ages of 15 & 25, I had a LOAD of doubts. I stopped attending church (I was raised Lutheran) and told people that I just didn’t believe in organized religion.

It happens…especially in the late teens/early twenties. But God didn’t give up on me, and despite how you might feel right now, He won’t give up on you either. For me, life experience has reinforced my faith over the years. I think just about everyone goes through a period of doubt. If you read the stories of the saints, I’m sure you’ll see that even most of them went through periods of their lives where their faith wasn’t exactly what you’d call “strong”!

Hang in there. Heed the advice of the good people here…like I said, they’ve given you some good advice. Maybe talk to your priest about it. Chances are, he probably has “been there” himself!

 

[Jon_Hus]

I personally see nothing to be gained by conformation as the Bible doesn’t talk about it the way the modern RCC practices it. Having said that, the primary job of teenagers is to make their parents happy and if this small thing makes your parents happy then I think you should consider doing it. You have you whole life ahead of you to research and decide what you are going to believe and how you will live your life.

Remember though, with free advice, you get what you pay for.
Jon

 

[Kay_Cee]

Read some C.S. Lewis (Mere Christianity), G.K. Chesterton (The Everlasting Man) Peter Kreeft (Handbook of Christian Apologetics)

I also recommend Kreeft’s *Because God Is Real. *It’s easier to read than Handbook of Christian Apologetics, especially for a teen. Questions covered are: Can you prove there is a God? Is faith reasonable? Why is there evil?

You deserve truth. You owe it to yourself to find out the truth. It may take some time and a little digging, but what could be more important to do with your time and effort than finding the answers to these questions you’re asking?

Maybe if you ask your Mom, she will get these books for you. They are available online at Amazon.com.

 

[yablabo]

Hello, I am new to the fourms and I am going though some tough spiritual times right now. I am 15 years old and just a couple days ago I told my mom (who is Catholic) I didn’t want to be confirmed. I don’t feel anything from church anymore. I considered the priesthood a year ago and now I am not sure if I want to be Atheist/Agnostic. My mother is sad and depressed. She thinks she almost failed as a parent. I am crushed. I still want to go to church for my mom. What should I do? Should I stay were I am, and not look at other possible religions, or something else?

Thanks.

I can empathize with the misery that you must feel, not wanting to proceed with religious rites that are meaningless to you, yet feeling the disappointment of your mother, who in her love for you, feels terrible that you do not wish to be confirmed.

Your position of not wanting to be “confirmed” in any religion that you are not certain is true is commendable. What motivation, other than something impure, can there be in following a religion that has not, or can not be proved to be true? The real question here is: “Has God spoken to man, and if so, can this be know with no possiblity of error?”

If you would like a friend to walk with you while you determine if it is even worthwhile to find an answer to this question, I will walk with you. You do not need me to find this answer, but if you would like my help, I now offer it.

You’re most welcome to write me back if you so desire, and I will discuss a means for us to communicate privately, although you are welcome to show any particular person what I write you, and because of your age, I would suggest that you do tell your mother of our correspondence, or show it to her as you wish (that is, if you do wish to correspond privately with me; there is no obligation for you to reply…like I said, you don’t need me ).

I do hope you find what you are searching for.

– Nicole