I am sorely lacking in both and can progress no farther spiritually unless there is a dramatic increase in both. Please help me! In have too much self love and conceit.
Blue knight
Well, one thing I’ve noticed is that when people have a problem with pride, often there are three things they will have difficulty doing.
Some people can never admit to a mistake. Now, for the vast majority of us, we make mistakes, practically on a daily basis. If we aren´t saying, “I made a mistake” with some frequency, and meaning it, in all humility, we probably have a problem with pride.
If you honestly are one who believes you never make a mistake, then you probably need to reevaluate that, see you probably make mistakes, and more often than you might realize, if you were to examine this more objectively.
Secondly, once you realize you have made a mistake, admitted it, at least to yourself, and if necessary, to another person, sometimes that isn’t enough. Sometimes, an apology will also be necessary if someone is hurt by it. So, we need to be able to say, “I’m sorry”.
I work with some people who I have never, in the year I have worked with them, never once, admitted to making a mistake, much less ever apologized for it. My previous supervisor, also, had that same problem. Once, she screamed at me, was wrong, never did admit to making a mistake or apologizing. This causes problems in relationships down the road.
Some people, men especially, can´t admit to themselves, or others, they are lost, for instance. They will sometimes waste all kinds of gas, time, and the goodwill of them around them, because they are prideful, will NOT admit, “I don´t know”.
People, and men, it’s okay to admit that you don´t know something once in a while. It’s not a sign of weakness, but of great strength. Only people who are very secure in themselves can admit when they are wrong, take responsibility for the mistake, and apologize, and admit they don’t know it all, after all. We are not expected to know everything all the time. We’re not God. To think we are is prideful, and wrong.
If some people who struggle with pride would do all 3 of these things, their relationships would fourish, prosper.
My father would make mistakes with us, NEVER, EVER, admit he was wrong. NEVER would apologize. I also can´t remember him ever admitting he didn´t know something.
If you aren´t doing all three of these things, I invite you to try this, even if you need to do it, gradually, and watch your relationships transform themselves and blossum.
Some people have a (false) idea of what humility is, think it means we need to everybody’s doormat, walk hunched over all the time, lacking in self esteem. Avoid the extremes…of thinking we are a slug on the ground or that the sun rises and sets on us, because it’s somewhere between these two.
We are not better than others, and not worse, either, but equals. That’s my 2 cents, for whatever it’s worth.