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18Gingasoldier
Guest
I’ve had problems with masturbation, though not the first time I saw a porn video in 2011, but it did become a problem starting in the Summer of 2013. After coming back to the church in mid 2016, I successfully did not masturbate for a few months, but it came back. Every time I commit this sin, I only think of the moment, and while sometimes I think of the consequences, the urge can take me back.
I’m not becoming more depressed, but more afraid and aware of what I see on the media, and of God. I think I am getting more cold-hearted and more mocking of God the more I do this, but the urge can make think that nothing bad happened.
I can tell myself I will go to Hell because I can’t seem to stop.
I could say that I am not worthy of salvation because of my sinful desires.
This combination of things make me think that it is wrong to have a sexual attraction.
I can see why masturbation is wrong, a former friend used to masturbate thinking of me because she “loved me”. It cost us our friendship.
I don’t like being used for sexual desires. I don’t look at pornography videos, but I can use about anything to do this sin. I am aware that pornography devalues people (especially women), and thus I try to avoid it, but when I see it, it’s hard to look to the other way.
Sometimes I give up because I think I’m going to Hell no matter what. I am always aware that I can sin at anytime, with our free will. I wonder if I am too weak to have a free will that could damn me forever.
I’m getting tired of doing this sin. The most I’ve managed to abstain this month has been like, 5 days at the most. I don’t get to confess at Confession as often as I want to, because where I live, there are few times I can go.
Sometimes, I wish I was asexual and not deal with this problem.
Pray for me, that I may choose God instead of a lesser good, and that I will have the courage to defend Catholiscim.
I’m not becoming more depressed, but more afraid and aware of what I see on the media, and of God. I think I am getting more cold-hearted and more mocking of God the more I do this, but the urge can make think that nothing bad happened.
I can tell myself I will go to Hell because I can’t seem to stop.
I could say that I am not worthy of salvation because of my sinful desires.
This combination of things make me think that it is wrong to have a sexual attraction.
I can see why masturbation is wrong, a former friend used to masturbate thinking of me because she “loved me”. It cost us our friendship.
I don’t like being used for sexual desires. I don’t look at pornography videos, but I can use about anything to do this sin. I am aware that pornography devalues people (especially women), and thus I try to avoid it, but when I see it, it’s hard to look to the other way.
Sometimes I give up because I think I’m going to Hell no matter what. I am always aware that I can sin at anytime, with our free will. I wonder if I am too weak to have a free will that could damn me forever.
I’m getting tired of doing this sin. The most I’ve managed to abstain this month has been like, 5 days at the most. I don’t get to confess at Confession as often as I want to, because where I live, there are few times I can go.
Sometimes, I wish I was asexual and not deal with this problem.
Pray for me, that I may choose God instead of a lesser good, and that I will have the courage to defend Catholiscim.

