I need some encouragement

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sanctamaria17

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OK, so I just finished my freshman year in school and am now home in the process of looking for a summer job. I had my first interview today and it went well, though I know it’s not a guarantee. I’ve been home for nearly two weeks and it’s been difficult.

I’ll admit to being a little burned out from school. I decided I was not premed anymore because I realized that as much as I like science, it’s not what I see myself doing every day. I also realized that while school should be challenging, you should not feel like you have to kill yourself just to pass the class (which is what I was doing). I’ve decided that next year will be focused on getting requirements out of the way and taking some fun classes to figure things out. I know that I want to help educate women in poor countries and also do prolife work, but I don’t know what exactly is going to help me do that. I know that in order to do that, I need to be educated and have the piece of paper to prove it, which is why I’m committed to staying in school. I also love my school and have learned a lot in that first year, not to mention I’m in a great city for college students and I’ve grown up a lot. I think what bothers me the most is not having a clear-cut plan for my life, which I know I have to let go and let God take care of.

I’m also having a hard time because, after being constantly busy and always around people, I’ve been somewhat isolated. Both my parents work, so I have no access to a car (that will adjust somewhat when I get a job) and I live in a small town which isn’t exactly pedestrian friendly. I haven’t gotten a job yet (not for lack of trying) and my friends aren’t around because they’re either working already or they live far away. So it’s me alone in this house. I’ve done a lot of cleaning, read books I’ve been wanting to read, and such like that, but I feel so lonely. I’m already missing a lot of my college friends and this adds to it. Meanwhile, my younger siblings are still in school, my sister dances nearly every night and my brother plays baseball, so they’re constantly busy. I’ve gone to see them at games, concerts, w/e, but I haven’t had anyone I can really talk to and it makes me sad. I’m a very social person so it does weigh on me.

I kind of wish that I spent the summer in the city because I would have found a job more easily, transportation wouldn’t be an issue, and I know a lot of people so there would be some get-togethers. At the same time, this will probably be the last summer I spend home, so I wanted to take advantage of that.

I’m just feeling isolated and somewhat incompetent (some of my finals were not so great, even though I studied, and for someone who normally does well in school, it’s a blow). I just need some encouragement. I’m in an emotional and spiritual slump and I’m completely unsure about everything 😦
 
I think grad schools are looking for med applicants with degrees other than “pre-med.” So going into a secondary interest to get your degree could actually make you more competitive.

If you do a pre-med or chem degree, you are going to battle for grades in the later years, which could really hurt you when applying to a med school. (E.g. the med school I want to go to has an average 4.3 GPA applicant rate). :eek:

Whereas if you take a fulfilling but less excruciating degree and excel at it, that could really help you get into med school. (E.g. Straight A psychology degree).

It will also slow down the burn out rate. If you think freshman chem and bio burned you out, wait until your first year in med school! :eek: :eek: :eek: I remember reading an article that found an average 20% suicide rate in 1st year med students!!
 
College can be rough - I went to a very tough school and found that a subject I loved and was gifted in (Math) was a subject I wasn’t good enough in to major in. The competition was head and shoulders ahead of me. Thankfully I had a backup subject I loved that was a little easier (Economics).

It’s wierd to come home that first summer. I remember not finding my place and feeling awkward. Looking back, I’m glad I had that time at home because it was the last summer I spent at home. You’ll find a job - any job is fine, office work, restaurant, whatever pays the bills - and that will help. It sounds like you are bored silly and lonely.

Can you offer to drive your parent(s) to/from work so you can have the car a few days a week? Or bike places?

Enjoy the time off - it won’t happen again (ever!) once you graduate. Read tons of summer trashy novels, sleep in, watch the soaps. Do puzzles, learn to cook crazy different foods, teach yourself a new language. Find a reason to get moving every day and that will help.

Hang in there!
 
CountryMom had great suggestions-- this is an excellent time to do something for the sheer love of doing/ trying it.

Our little kids miss our big move-away kids tremendously. I would give so much to have one of them home for the summer, doing all the things CM mentioned, but doing it with the younger siblings. Playing catch, Scrabble, trying recipes, reading books, trying tai chi videos, building forts, whatever.

SanctaMaria, what a charitable work it will be to offer up your temporary loss of social activity and cheerfully give to your siblings. I promise you, you and your family will be edified by the experience.

Also, please don’t feel rushed in your discernment. You are right that God will lead you if you listen. How and when and in what direction are answers that belong to Him. When you return to school, knock off the prereq’s, one by one, praying the whole way and He’ll guide you. So many times what looks like lost time or missteps is just the time God will use best.

God draws straight with crooked lines!
 
Believe me, I’d love to hang out with my siblings but they’re never home!!! They’re always doing something or at school! I’m home for HOURS, yes, HOURS, BY MYSELF with nothing to do!!! I’d love to have someone to talk to but NO ONE IS EVER HOME!!!
 
There is a book you may want to read that can help you with picking a major. It’s called “48 Days To The Work You Love”. I’m not sure who the author is, but I’ve heard the book is good. I picked business as a major and have regretted it b/c I didn’t really explore what was out there. I spent 7 miserable years in a corporate work environment and developed an anxiety disorder to boot! So take this time to really search what you love to do. Also make sure it’ll be able to pay your bills later on.

Since you want to teach women in other countries have you thought about a teaching certification? There are organizations that help people teach abroad. I’m sure there is a Christian organization out there. You could also go into corporate training with a teaching certificate. It doesn’t have to be a classroom setting that you teach in. Take this time off to reflect and explore all sorts of fields. You have some time to pick a major.

I also know how you feel about being lonely! I work part-time and when I’m off I don’t know what to do with myself. My husband and I are on a strict budget so I really can’t go out and do anything. I’m just stuck at home and I know how it can really depress you. I hope you will find some summer work soon!
 
You say you enjoy science, but dont want to kill yourself in school, you want to help educate women in poor countries and also do prolife work. You’re obviously academically and socially gifted. Just a thought: you would make a great nurse.

Wait, before you stop reading, there are a lot of career openings for nurses at all levels, you can go as far academically or career-wise as you want to - from a 2 year program to a Master’s or Phd, you can be an ARNP which has many of a physician’s responsibilities. The possibilities are endless for types of nursing, for travel, and you’ll never be out of a job.
I enjoy nursing, but wouldn’t be able to handle the hours or responsibilities, or insurance hassles of being a physician.
Just something to consider, since you have a lot of spare time . . .You could get a BSN, go to trauma sites and help out, or open clinics in other countries. Also, many people get a nursing degree as a backup job while they think about what they really want to do.
 
TxDeeDee said:
There is a book you may want to read that can help you with picking a major. It’s called “48 Days To The Work You Love”. Dan Miller! And he has a web site. Highly recommended reading for all who are having trouble deciding what they want to be, from college people to seniors.
Click to expand...
 
have a great summer, and use this time alone to research on the net when, where and how you might go about reaching your very laudable goal of helping women and children and witnessing to the pro-life message. may turn out to be the most productive use of your time in the long run. changing your sights slightly to nurse, nurse practioner, nurse midwife may be the most practical way. since your reason for change of major was “I can’t see myself doing this every day” why not amuse yourself by imagining how you would like to be spending your time 5 years from now, 10 years from now. where would you be living, what would you be doing, who would you be with etc.
 
First of all, just let me say, hang in there. I’m a recent college grad myself, and I know that school stuff can be trying. And don’t worry about not knowing exactly what you want to do; I didn’t pick a major until the end of my sophomore year. And even now, I don’t know quite where my life is going when the summer ends. Just keep taking it a day at a time, and things usually tend to turn out all right.

As for passing your excessively free time, the computer can be a great (although admitedly lacking) means of keeping in touch with people, via e-mail, instant messenger, message boards, etc. Take time and study something; the Internet’s full of useful information if you know where to look. And, of course, there’s always prayer. In some ways, I actually envy you; my summer is pretty much packed to the brim with stuff, so your predicament looks pretty good right now. Grass is always greener, and all that.

Anyway, just stick it out and trust in Jesus; things are bound to get better that way. God bless.

Sam, the Neon Orange Knight
 
Take advantage of the quiet time to unwind and relax. You’re probably still keyed up from school and need time. I can guarantee that your time at home will be done before you know it and you’ll be back at school. Life after college is so complicated. Do some reading and find peace within yourself. Accept the time God has provided for you.
 
Coming from a Mom of 5 that have gone off to college and knowing how they act that 1st summer home, be assured that this too shall pass. It’s a culture shock thing, and our little ones are home all the time as well, so my big kids are overwhelmed with the littles just being here and making noise.

If I had that kind of time I would be praying a lot for discernment and reading the PP’s advised book(s) and maybe some books on lives of the saints (Blessed Mother Teresa, Maria Goretti, Gianna Molla, etc) , it sounds like you are full of common sense, but lonely and these folks lives can make you feel really good.

Hopefully your job will come thru soon, but if not, rest assured God has a plan for your summer! Prayers are being said for you and others in your situation.
 
As far as spending time with your sibs, talk to your family about letting them each have a “mental health day” to do something fun or special with you. I just finished my 3rd year (and I was abroad for the first semester) and my mom let my 17-year-old brother (who is very responsible and hardly misses school) take an absence to go to an art museum with me. We rode the train in, walked through the museum, got lunch, and spent a great day reconnecting.

If you do get the ok to have an “adventure day” with one of your sibs, planning the itinerary will give you something to occupy yourself with for a little while 😃
 
Hi maria;

College can be both a time of great liberation…going out on one’s own for the first time…but not completely…still able to come back home. The first ‘taste’ of adulthood. But, it also can be a time of transition. Coming home during the summers for me was the pits. I hated it! I missed my friends from college…I felt so lost. You are not alone…Maybe find a Bible study group, or a ministry during the summer to keep you focused and connected to others, so you don’t feel isolated. I will be praying for you maria…(((hugs)))
 
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