I need some help and prayer

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What else I’ve been fearing is that I’ll go to Hell, because I’ve always loved Jesus so much and always have had faith. Now, this is like, I believe in God and this feeling is trying to make not have faith, though. This is really ruining my life.
 
The devil doesn’t go after his own, if you’re being hunted, it’s a good thing.

Get a copy of The Deceiver, by Fr. Livio Fanzaga. Good stuff Maynard.
 
DylanO, these are extremely trying moments in our lives - I can still remember how horrible it was when I first started to doubt that there is life after death. It was painful - frightening, horrible - I felt as if a (short) lifetime of faith had been wasted.
Do not be afraid!
And do pray a lot, and read the Psalms! I always find consolation in them.
I will pray for you.
 
DylanO said:
I’ve always been strong in my faith and just brushed off what they have said before, I never took them seriously
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You know, it is good sometimes to be shaken in our strength - the temptation to doubt reveals how weak, vulnerable we are, and it also teaches us that the only way to keep on the right path is prayer. “Ego sum via, veritas and vita - I am the road, the truth, and the life” - it is only through Jesus, the only way to heaven, that you can keep your faith and the peace of your mind.
Do not be afraid!
 
DylanO said:
I believe for a while and then it comes back. I am so depressed.

It feels like there it some kind of demonic force preventing me from believing, I am so scared, I don’t know what to do…
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Brother have a look at Jobe what happened to him? satan said to God I believe that he will curseYou if You allow me to … and the rest is exactly what you are going through. This is your darkness of the soul, you are not alone all people of God go through it. And there is more, satan won’t give up until God says “enough is enough” Then God says now look what you have done I in turn will pay him back 10 times 10 because of what you have done.
Why would God allow this to happen, well one reason is that as with all things on earth there is always and I mean always reaction by our humanness through change. We can become complacent when all is well. Think of change in the earth structure earth quakes hapen and there is a change, Jesus came preached a different way one of Love one of change the world didn’t want that, why, because they had become complacent.

Brother with satans testing us (because God won’t test us, although He allows it to happen) all seems confused because remember how Jesus said “Be aware of he who comes dressed as the lamb but is the wolf in disguise” What that means for you is that those who spout of words that seem to have relevation maybe a little truth are spreading lies that apeal to the mind to the head. Right, but they have no relevence to the Heart of God (spirit) with in us. When you get through this then you will see a better light, one that wil help you to understand God more fully but the testing you are going through seems real and it is because God wants to elevate you in more or deeper understanding of His love.
Seek true christian ( catholic) people who understand this and can support you in this time. I have just supported a youth through this and he has just come through it.
Be strong
Believe in God, because that is what satan does not want you to do, believe in Jesus Christ. In that God created this world and all that it contains. You can ask God for the gift of discernment if you so wish it could help you. Brother you are never allone in this many are praying for you.

God bless
littleone
 
I feel a lot better today. I hope that feeling never comes back.

I’d like to thank you for all your advice and your prayers. Brother Ignatius Mary and his website helped, too.
 
Now that I just said that it is coming back. I’ve been praying so hard but, I don’t know why this keeps happening to me. 😦
 
DylanO said:
Now that I just said that it is coming back. I’ve been praying so hard but, I don’t know why this keeps happening to me. 😦
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I’m going through the same thing right now. It’s a test of faith. Don’t worry, it will end eventually.

You might find this site interesting: livingmiracles.net/ On the same topic, you might want to check out this video:

Part 1: youtube.com/watch?v=ETJ61xMjRpo
Part 2: youtube.com/watch?v=Adl7tsWmKeU&mode=related&search=
Part 3: youtube.com/watch?v=86TCK9oJA-Y&mode=related&search=

I found them quite helpful. 🙂
 
Thank you, Aragorn1. Those were very helpful.

I’m continuing to fight this feeling of doubt and I won’t give up. It’s also helpful to know I’m not the only one this is happening to.
 
Today was absolutley terrible. 😦 I been crying all day. This is so depressing. I don’t think this will ever stop.
 
Yes, it will stop. I know because I have been crying all day, too. (Depression is hard…) Now I am a little better, perhaps because of the crying.
Dylan, have you considered a one-day retreat? Like going to church and staying there all day, praying, reading, only leaving to eat for a short time? Or have you considered asking for an appointment with a priest you confide in?
You sound exhausted, I’m sure you cannot sort out this problem with nerves as tired as this! Take time off not to think, but simply to pray, to rest in God. Forget about the agonizing thoughts. Just sit, and rest. Take heart, and do not fear. You need to rest.
 
Margita said:
Yes, it will stop. I know because I have been crying all day, too. (Depression is hard…) Now I am a little better, perhaps because of the crying.
Dylan, have you considered a one-day retreat? Like going to church and staying there all day, praying, reading, only leaving to eat for a short time? Or have you considered asking for an appointment with a priest you confide in?
You sound exhausted, I’m sure you cannot sort out this problem with nerves as tired as this! Take time off not to think, but simply to pray, to rest in God. Forget about the agonizing thoughts. Just sit, and rest. Take heart, and do not fear. You need to rest.
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Yes, I was extremely exhausted. I couldn’t sleep at all last night. At that time I was alright and I felt good but, I just couldn’t sleep so, I went on the computer and watched TV for a while around 2:00 AM. I wasn’t watching anything on TV that would get me upset or anything but, I started doubting again. Like I said, it feels like there is something trying to cause this.

I’m a teenager and I’m home-schooled (Which I just started a few weeks ago) so, later at 8:00 AM, I went to my Grandmother’s house and I was just crying because of this feeling. Eventually, I feel asleep but, I woke up several times thoughout the day and woke up finally around 5:00 PM and started watching EWTN and saw the Pope in Brazil and listened to him talk. That kind of made me feel better, but, then at 9:00 tonight I got really depressed again.

I’ve been praying and that actually seems to help. I try to relax and not think about anything at all. I don’t even try to think about anything but, I just get this feeling of doubt. It’s terrifying. I don’t know why this started happening all of a sudden. Your’re right it does go away but, then a couple of hours (or even a couple of minutes) it comes back. Depression is hard and crying does help a little.

I have talked to two local priests, they don’t really understand whats happening. I feel like they were rushing me out. I don’t think there is a one-day retreat where I live, though.

Thanks for your advice.
 
DylanO said:
I’ve been praying and that actually seems to help. I try to relax and not think about anything at all. I don’t even try to think about anything but, I just get this feeling of doubt. It’s terrifying. I don’t know why this started happening all of a sudden. Your’re right it does go away but, then a couple of hours (or even a couple of minutes) it comes back. Depression is hard and crying does help a little.

I have talked to two local priests, they don’t really understand whats happening. I feel like they were rushing me out. I don’t think there is a one-day retreat where I live, though.

Thanks for your advice.
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DylanO, I think the reason why you feel that priests are “rushing you out” is that this problem is so much greater to you than to anybody else, and you feel that no amount of compassion matches your suffering. And I do not say you are not entitled to feel this way. Only, sometimes you have to be satisfied with what you get from other people. If it is one kind word, think about it often, draw as much comfort out of it as possible. Do not belittle the attention people give you. It is a huge mistake I have often made.

That said, I understand your frustration. Your therapist thinks “it’s all in your head” (which is true, but that’s why you need her help, after all!!) and priests who have probably seen too many teenagers with doubts and questions think you are just one of them. When, in fact, you are ill. Seriously. Depression is an illness, not “just” a teenage spiritual crisis.

I wonder if group therapy actually works for you. If you feel so isolated you’d probably be better off with individual therapy where you get personal attention and care.

Another question: do you have a confessor? Or do you go to different priests every time you make your confession? Spiritual direction would be very useful to you, not instead of therapy but together with it. Try to disclose in confession the dark problems you are suffering from, and ask for advice. If one priest does not give it, go to another. Look for any churches maintained by monastic orders, the fathers in those are the most reliable and comforting ones according to my experience.

And do not give up, ever.

Someone must have been praying very well for me yesterday, I feel better today. I am actually able to work. Do not lose your courage!!
 
If you can relax a little, I think it will help. Some of your symptoms are just stress caused by your faith troubles, and that stress just makes your faith troubles harder to deal with. When you pray, try to breathe deeply. If you can’t sleep, try to rest your mind in some rhythmic prayer, like the Rosary or the Jesus Prayer, or in some pleasant thought that doesn’t have anything to do with your troubles.

There is only one truth, not one truth of science and another truth of religion. (St. Albert the Great argued that one into submission a long time ago.) If there seems to be a conflict, either we’re interpreting God’s truth wrongly in our religion, or we’ve got the science wrong. Listen to the fullness of the Church’s teaching, and you will learn a lot.

Jesus Christ is Truth itself, and Wisdom. Seek Him out. Trust Him. Do not be afraid. Do not let yourself be troubled. He is with you in your darkest hours.
 
I really appreciate all of your kindness and advice.

But, I just don’t know when this is going to end. I am really frustrated and nervous. This has to be the worst thing I have expiranced in my life.

These feelings just keep jabbing at me; no matter what I do. I’m not going to give up, though.

I feel like this is some kind of demon oppression (not possession). No matter how hard I try to get this off of my mind, it won’t leave.
 
Dylan, I lost count of the demons oppressing me in my teenage years when I turned 18. I shall never forget the torment my doubts, my despair, my anxiety caused me. I wouldn’t like to go into this now, but I just feel every word you post, deeply.
One thing that helped me, or at least made the whole thing bearable, was to stop fighting. Yes, you read that right. Do not fight, you are not able to carry your armour! What I sometimes did (when I had the time and the occasion) was lie down, even in the middle of the day, under a blanket, and rest - and pray in that relaxed state. As if I had been still a child.

Confession also helped. OK, this is personal, but there was a dreadful period in my life when I had serious doubts about life after death. The fear that nothing but annihilation is coming after death grabbed me and filled me with a cold despair. When I went to confession (I always confessed to the same priest, a wise, kind old Cistercian) I confessed this. And he was able to sooth me. After confession, mass began - and one of the readings (I forgot the exact passage) was about death and how it is not annihilation, but the gate to eternal life. At this sentence, he briefly but clearly, looked at me from the altar. Nobody noticed, except me - our eyes met and suddenly I felt comfort. It was a small morning mass on a Saturday. And I thought: if this old monk, with his seventy years of experience in faith and doubt, in joy and fear, is not afraid any more, surely I can believe him!! And surely I can believe the word of God!

Fighting against demons is hard. It is easier to fight for God, for he is near and willing to surrender. Rest, pray, and trust that God will fight for you.
 
Thanks Margita. I’m sorry to hear that you went through what I’ve been expiriancing for the past couple of weeks. I’ve, myself, been feeling better lately. Many people at this site have been very helpful.

I’ve contacted Brother Ignatius Mary at his site: saint-mike.org/qa/sw/default.asp. He has been very helpful, too.
 
Remember how Jesus walked on the water. When Peter saw Him, he thought he was seeing a ghost.He told the Lord if it is You,ask me to walk on the water too, Jesus said ,“Come!” Peter did and behold him, a mere human conquering the force of nature and science. However note what happened when Peter felt the full force of the elements…he lost faith and began to sink! He turned to the Lord to save him. Man of little faith, why did you doubt? If you depend on human strength,we will drown. Focus on the Lord…keep looking to Him,keep calling on Him, keep depending on Him…and lo and behold, we will dance on water and in the air
 
Latley it’s been gone but, I think this is coming back. 😦

I just don’t understand why this has been happening. I wish I could have some kind of supernatual expirance so, I wouldn’t be depressed any more and I can feel better about things.
 
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