I need some help in deciding

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jesus4ever

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I need some help in deciding if something i did is a sin or not i really can not ask anyone else face to face and this will help me in disciding what i should do.

I was at least half asleep and i was in a impure dream. I turned onto my front part of the body so i was laying on the bed on my belly and I started to stroke up and down. When i relized what i was doing (thinking to myself this is not right what am i doing) I stoped moving completly. it went for about maybe 6 seconds and I noticed ejactaltion.

I can not make a decision if this needs to be confessed or not. I thought that since i stoped when i fully relized (that what i was doing is not right) then i did not commit mortal sin however it did go for longer then a second and ejactaltion did happen it wasn’t just a dream but my body moving as well. stop communion and go and confess or am i all clear.

ALso today at work i got fusstrated towards a old women and didn’t speak properly to her. I showed annoyence and also i was a little angry for what she asked of me. I said things to her in a bad tone of voice like why you buying this if its no good and i’m not allowed to be doing this… she wanted alot of a fish mixs we sell but no mussles. the whole thing had mussles so it was hard to pick what she wanted out. the reason was because her son is ilergige to them but i didn’t really show any care towards her problem just that i had to pick fish peices out for her.

I know the way i acted was wrong i sort of stoped my attude 3 quarters in it but is this a mortal sin.
 
jesus4ever said:
I need some help in deciding if something i did is a sin or not i really can not ask anyone else face to face and this will help me in disciding what i should do.

I was at least half asleep and i was in a impure dream. I turned onto my front part of the body so i was laying on the bed on my belly and I started to stroke up and down. When i relized what i was doing (thinking to myself this is not right what am i doing) I stoped moving completly. it went for about maybe 6 seconds and I noticed ejactaltion.

I can not make a decision if this needs to be confessed or not. I thought that since i stoped when i fully relized (that what i was doing is not right) then i did not commit mortal sin however it did go for longer then a second and ejactaltion did happen it wasn’t just a dream but my body moving as well. stop communion and go and confess or am i all clear.

ALso today at work i got fusstrated towards a old women and didn’t speak properly to her. I showed annoyence and also i was a little angry for what she asked of me. I said things to her in a bad tone of voice like why you buying this if its no good and i’m not allowed to be doing this… she wanted alot of a fish mixs we sell but no mussles. the whole thing had mussles so it was hard to pick what she wanted out. the reason was because her son is ilergige to them but i didn’t really show any care towards her problem just that i had to pick fish peices out for her.

I know the way i acted was wrong i sort of stoped my attude 3 quarters in it but is this a mortal sin.
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I don’t think the first is mortal because you were not fully awake and once you were, you stopped, even if you had an ejaculation, because that can’t be stopped once it starts. I don’t think any sin was involved here. You exercised all the self-control you could once you were flully awake.

The second was probably venial, IMHO, a matter of losing your patience with someone. If you had been cursing and swearing at her, though, it might be. Just confess this and resolve to have more patience with your customers.

Mortal sin has to be grave matter, one has to know it is grave, and one has to deliberately choose to commit it knowing it is a grave sin. It might help if you read about this in the Catechism to make it more clear as to what a mortal sin actually is. Still, we should try to avoid all sin.
 
jesus4ever said:
I need some help in deciding if something i did is a sin or not i really can not ask anyone else face to face and this will help me in disciding what i should do.

I was at least half asleep and i was in a impure dream. I turned onto my front part of the body so i was laying on the bed on my belly and I started to stroke up and down. When i realized what i was doing (thinking to myself this is not right what am i doing) I stopped moving completely. it went for about maybe 6 seconds and I noticed ejaculation.

I can not make a decision if this needs to be confessed or not. I thought that since i stopped when i fully realized (that what i was doing is not right) then i did not commit mortal sin however it did go for longer then a second and ejaculation did happen it wasn’t just a dream but my body moving as well. stop communion and go and confess or am i all clear.

Also today at work i got frustrated towards a old women and didn’t speak properly to her. I showed annoyance and also i was a little angry for what she asked of me. I said things to her in a bad tone of voice like why you buying this if its no good and i’m not allowed to be doing this… she wanted a lot of a fish mix we sell but no mussels. the whole thing had mussels so it was hard to pick what she wanted out. the reason was because her son is allergic to them but i didn’t really show any care towards her problem just that i had to pick fish pieces out for her.

I know the way i acted was wrong i sort of stopped my attitude 3 quarters in it but is this a mortal sin.
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***No. You are human. That’s it. That’s all. ***Sounds to me that you were dreaming and nature took its course, and as to the customer that wanted service above and beyond what you could give according to the rules of your job…yeah, stuff like that annoys me, too. I can’t say I blame you for getting annoyed.

Oh, and if her son was allergic to shellfish, he didn’t need to be eating that food at all (if it was mixed)…and*** she should have known that***. Just sayin.
Hope she had an Epi-pen;P
 
So am i good to take holy commiunon then because i am not going to confession until tuesday night
 
To: Jesus4ever

From: JAW642 on 12/18/2010
Jesus4ever,

You did not commit a mortal sin, even if you continued moving your penis while the spontaneous ejaculation was happening.

You were rubbing your penis up and down against your mattress, but then you eventually stopped. That means you did not have Full intentions to ejaculate. You made a good effort to prevent the ejaculation, but you were too late. As a result, you therefore had a spontaneous and automatic ejaculation. Once an ejaculation starts for whatever reason, you should simply follow through until its completion, because it is unnatural and unhealthy to try to stop it.

There is no grievous sin if a person masturbates while lacking in awareness, as when he is half awake, or half asleep, or when a person is carried away by sudden passion and finds himself committing the act despite the resistance of the will.
Pretty much, to commit a mortal sin, one must be positively SURE and positively BELIEVE that what he is doing is mortally wrong, and he must positively KNOW that he is committing a mortal sin. And then basically say, I positively KNOW this act is a mortal sin, but I don’t care, so I am going to do it anyway. If he believes that what he is doing is NOT mortally sinful, or if he is not SURE whether or not it is mortally sinful, then NO mortal sin can be committed.

The Catholic Church says that if you are unsure of whether or not you have committed a mortal sin, YOU DEFINITELY HAVE NOT COMMITTED A MORTAL SIN. Mortal sins leave no room for uncertainty and must be deliberate. The Catholic Church defines such uncertain acts as ‘Doubtful Sins’, and the Church does not require them to be confessed, since they are not Mortal Sins.
Masturbation
Overcoming the Masturbation Habit

couragerc.net/PIPMasturbation.html

Morality of Masturbatory Activity

Father Farraher also points out that sexual stimulation by a married couple is morally licit if it leads to natural vaginal intercourse or completes the marital act.'2 Farraher is very exact about what constitutes grave malice in masturbation when he writes: "for a person to be formally guilty of a mortal sin of masturbation his act must be a fully deliberate choice of what he fully realizes is seriously sinful."13 If such an act is done with only partial realization, or partial consent of the will, it is a venial sin; and “if there is no free choice of the will there is no guilt of sin at all even if the person is aware of what he is doing.”'4 Farraher goes on to point out that there is no sin even when a person foresees that sexual stimulation and orgasm will result from some action that the person is freely performing, provided that he does not intend such stimulation, but merely permits it, and that he has a sufficiently good reason for doing it. (This is simply an application of the principle of the twofold effect.)'5

Farraher corrects the misunderstanding that many Catholics have that if they experience sexual stimulation, however unwillingly, they have committed mortal sin.16

Distinction between Past Behavior and the Present

There is a little freedom, but hardly sufficient to constitute serious guilt. This is even more true when persons struggle against this impulse when they are trying to sleep at night, or are surprised by temptation in the middle of the night or upon awakening. Farraher comments at length on these situations in which the individual who has resisted the temptation to masturbate during waking hours is sometimes overwhelmed with sexual fantasies as he tries to go to sleep, or upon awakening in the morning. As long as the person makes a real effort to turn his mind away, he commits no sin even if orgasm occurs. If he is uncertain whether he really tried hard enough to get rid of fantasy, he may settle the doubt in favor of his innocence. According to traditional norms of moral theology one may presume that his intention during waking hours was also present in the moment of nocturnal temptation. Confessors and spiritual guides should reassure guilt-ridden persons who feel that since they were awake at the time of orgasm, they are guilty of sin, that they have not sinned inasmuch as the masturbation is presumed to be involuntary. "To tell him that he can avoid even these involuntary experiences if he tries hard enough and uses supernatural means can cause severe anxiety and even despair since he may not be able to avoid what is really involuntary."31

Guilt and Shame in All Forms of Masturbation

So, likewise, in the question of masturbation many persons torture themselves needlessly. I refer primarily to good living people whose only “sin” is masturbation. The spiritual counselor or confessor who knows the struggles that these persons have had tries to make it clear that there has been no free consent to the impulse to masturbate.

There is no grievous sin if a person masturbates while lacking in awareness, as when he is half awake, or half asleep, or when a person is carried away by sudden passion and finds himself committing the act despite the resistance of the will. This is one of the effects of original sin, that human passions tend to overcome the acts of the will (Rom. 7: l~2O). An individual may agree with this reasoning, and yet in his heart feel guilty of masturbation, because he will say to himself, “If I had tried harder I would not have had the fantasies, I should be able to get rid of all my impure thoughts.”

The trouble with this feeling of guilt is that it presupposes that we humans have perfect control over our passions not only over lust, but also over avarice, anger, and other disordered emotions. We know that we have no such control. The person involved in masturbation, however, needs to believe that with God’s grace he can overcome the habit of masturbation.
 
CB_Catholic said:
I don’t think the first is mortal because you were not fully awake and once you were, you stopped, even if you had an ejaculation, because that can’t be stopped once it starts. I don’t think any sin was involved here. You exercised all the self-control you could once you were flully awake.

The second was probably venial, IMHO, a matter of losing your patience with someone. If you had been cursing and swearing at her, though, it might be. Just confess this and resolve to have more patience with your customers.

Mortal sin has to be grave matter, one has to know it is grave, and one has to deliberately choose to commit it knowing it is a grave sin. It might help if you read about this in the Catechism to make it more clear as to what a mortal sin actually is. Still, we should try to avoid all sin.
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Of course, none of us are priests (and I absolutely recommend talking to a priest in Confession about all this), but I think Carolyn’s answer above puts it all quite well. From the info you have provided, it does not appear you have committed any mortal sin.

Now, if there are other details you left out, that might change things, but a priest will be able to ask you the necessary questions to sort through it all.

God bless!
 
JAW642 said:
To: Jesus4ever

From: JAW642 on 12/18/2010

“Once an ejaculation starts for whatever reason, you should simply follow through until its completion, because it is unnatural and unhealthy to try to stop it.”
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JAW642,

Respectfully, the line I quoted from your reply is wrong. It’s definitely not true as a normative (moral) statement, as the use of the word ‘should’ implies that you meant it. I’m assuming that since you’re giving advice about what “should” be done, you’re talking about a situation in which that person has control. I’m of the opinion that you should try to stop it, whether or not you will have success. At the least, don’t say you “should simply follow through,” because that could be read as advising people to try positively to go all the way to ejaculation, instead of just not trying to stop it, which I would think falls under the definition of masturbation as deliberately trying to go to ejaculation. But further, if you have a choice in whether to “follow through” or not, it’s bad advice to say you choose to do something immoral because something is unhealthy. Your statement is at least misleading, as people might take it to justify masturbation according to their definition or perhaps less-than-scientific understanding of what’s “unhealthy” or “unnatural.” I speak from experience - I once got scared that if I didn’t have a wet dream or ejaculation for a long period of time, my testicles would get damaged. Well, that’s not how the male body works, I later found out! But people use premises about “health” to justify masturbation all the time.

I doubt that God would make our bodies such that something morally wrong would also be relatively necessary for health, at least for most of the time, that is, in the nature of the body (martyrdom and special cases of health problems aside). I mean, he won’t have designed the human body in such a way that by consistently acting in a way that is right will naturally cause us sickness. But if you take this to mean that the act you’re describing can’t be wrong, I take it to mean refraining from the act you’re describing probably isn’t unhealthy. That’s what I’ll believe until I see some solid scientific evidence to back up the other assertion. What’s unhealthy about it? And how do you know?

Also, as for “unnatural,” when the Church talks about what is “unnatural” ethically speaking, something is unnatural when it goes against the nature, or purpose, of something created for a good purpose. Masturbation, therefore, can be said to be unnatural, not because monkeys don’t do it, since they do. Masturbation can be said to be unnatural because it goes against the nature of the sexual act and the sexual organs - the function God created them for. Deliberate stimulation of those organs outside of the context of the free gift of self in faithful (married) intercourse is against God’s plan for the natures of those things. It would be good to see if you can apply that to what you’re saying we as humans should do.

Thank you for your time.
 
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