I need some help with Masturbation

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Oruwaith

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I am having a hard time fighting these urges. The longest I have gone without Masturbating would be about a month. Once I come close to that mark again, it seems like the urges only get stronger, become more frequent and my mind starts craving for some sort of release. I am tired of this and want it out of my life. It has been a while since I have looked at pornography, but I did it again today. It feels like I have failed miserably.

Any advice?
 
One great resourse is the book “Clean of Heart”. It is a Catholic approach to sex addiction that uses the prayers of the Church, wisdom of the saints, and a step by step approach to overcoming sexual sin. You can download it, for a price, but well worth it. home.earthlink.net/~cleanofheart/

Often that behavior is connected with an insecurity or fear. Do you notice that it is when you are feeling vulnerable or worried that you struggle the most? Another root of this sin is early sexualization/molestation. You need to get help for that.

One gift available to the Church is "Unbound Prayer. Some parishes offer this ministry if they have someone trained locally. It was developed by Neal Lozano, a Catholic, and helped me tremendously. heartofthefather.com/

Remember that your guardian angel watches everything you do. be sure to go to Confession before you go for Communion as this is a mortal sin.
 
I masturbated frequently for years. I finally quit this past April, then broke down in June. But since then I’ve been good. I know this feels like a mountain that is absolutely impossible to climb right now. But trust me, you can break this habit!

I strongly agree with the previous post, CONFESS IT! That’s what got me started on recovering.

Take it one day at a time. When you think about giving it up forever it seems overwhelming. But if you simply think, “don’t masturbate today” it’s much easier.

Ask God for help. I don’t know about you, but I felt like I needed to somehow try to hide this from God. He knows and He wants to help you. Tell Him you have an addiction and you can’t get over it without His help.

Pray the Rosary. Mary will help you. Another trick I learned on here was to pray 5 “Hail Mary’s” the second you feel tempted.

Avoid temptation. Obviously do not look at any form of pornography. Avoid movies or TV shows that you know are going to tempt you. The more you avoid temptation the fewer urges you get. I’m still amazed at how my urges have so greatly diminished.

Google why masturbation is so wrong every time you feel tempted. It makes you feel horrible for even thinking about masturbating.

Distract yourself. Read the Bible, etc.

Keep track of your progress. When I think about how long I’ve gone without masturbating it inspires me to keep abstaining to add to that number.

I know this feels impossible to overcome right now. But it can be done. I’ll pray for you. God bless.
 
Oruwaith said:
I am having a hard time fighting these urges. The longest I have gone without Masturbating would be about a month. Once I come close to that mark again, it seems like the urges only get stronger, become more frequent and my mind starts craving for some sort of release. I am tired of this and want it out of my life. It has been a while since I have looked at pornography, but I did it again today. It feels like I have failed miserably.

Any advice?
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I think you might want to reword the thread title!!
 
Oruwaith said:
I am having a hard time fighting these urges. The longest I have gone without Masturbating would be about a month. Once I come close to that mark again, it seems like the urges only get stronger, become more frequent and my mind starts craving for some sort of release. I am tired of this and want it out of my life. It has been a while since I have looked at pornography, but I did it again today. It feels like I have failed miserably.

Any advice?
Click to expand...
May want to see your doctor for medication to reduce the libido. I’m taking Paxil for my depression/anxiety and the loss of libido was a welcomed side-effect.
 
MisterCorduroy said:
Often that behavior is connected with an insecurity or fear. Do you notice that it is when you are feeling vulnerable or worried that you struggle the most?
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You may want ask the Holy Spirit to reveal what is driving you to do this. It could related to a deep love hunger, hurt, pain or loneliness that only be filled by God and having a very real transparent relationship with a few close friends (same sex) or your spouse if you are married.
 
Hello Oruwaith.

I’ll respond with the same advice I recently gave to someone else on the forums struggling with the same issue.

Even though I don’t know you, I have a lot of hope for you regarding this because you are humble enough to acknowledge your sin and your need for help. Humility is a powerful weapon against the devil and his temptations.

Obviously keep praying-- whenever the temptation comes on, ask God immediately for the grace to resist. Pray to Our Lady and also St. Joseph, a model of manly purity. Receive Communion (worthily) as often as you can, and spend time before the tabernacle – let Christ be near you to strengthen you. Offer up your struggle and your sacrifice in union with Christ’s sacrifice on the Cross, thus turning your trial into a powerful act of worship. Meditate often on the crucifix and how much Jesus LOVES YOU personally! You need to resolve to love Him in return, far more than any pleasure – He is well worth it. Think of these temptations as God’s invitation for you to prove your love for Him-- each time you resist, you will grow in grace and your soul will be all the more beautiful in His sight. He’s allowing you to be tempted only to draw you closer to Him.

Some more spiritual suggestions: Confess frequently with a firm resolve to commit the sin NO MORE. Reflect on the lives of the saints, especially the martyrs who submitted to torture and death rather than turn away from God (consider, for example, the story of St. Maria Goretti).

Some practical suggestions – you have to condition your body to go without this sin. As you successfully resist, this will (over time) become easier to do. You must IMMEDIATELY dispose of any pornography still in your possession. If you have to, try not to be alone (or to use your computer when alone) if it’s a source of temptation. Be careful what shows and movies you watch… Try to find other outlets for your energies – sports or exercise, for example. If you feel the urge come on, immediately fold your hands in prayer.

Believe me, this struggle can be for the glory of God. And few things are more precious to God than purity.

Best wishes to you, my friend. Keep believing and never give up hope. I’ll keep you in my prayers.
 
Haha duuude, looks like you need some action! it’s called being human. Masturbation is totally normal, no need to freak out about it. Do you know how many people masturbate on a regular basis? Well neither do i cause i don’t feel like looking it up, but i’ll bet it’s A LOT. I don’t see what the big deal is, THERE IS NO ISSUE, it’s a normal desire for men and women of all ages.
And sex addiction doesn’t exist. It’s an excuse that cheating husbands use to make themselves look better.
So go ahead, watch porn and masturbate to your heart’s content.
 
Oruwaith said:
I am having a hard time fighting these urges. The longest I have gone without Masturbating would be about a month. Once I come close to that mark again, it seems like the urges only get stronger, become more frequent and my mind starts craving for some sort of release. I am tired of this and want it out of my life. It has been a while since I have looked at pornography, but I did it again today. It feels like I have failed miserably.

Any advice?
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It doesn’t sound like addiction to me. If it is, there is help for sex addiction which is spiritually based. You are describing the natural rhythm of abstinence. You seem to build for about a month. I find the 2-4 week period of chastity the most difficult. It is good to talk about it, if you have a friend who is close enough. My experience is that if I get past the tough part, then it becomes easier. “Custody of the eyes” is important for me. I intentionally do not dwell on anything stimulating.

One tip I have is to relax a bit, but make a list of why you don’t want to masturbate. Keep it with you. When the urge to look at porn arises, read the list. Then decide if you still want to look at porn.
 
inyourface said:
Haha duuude, looks like you need some action! it’s called being human. Masturbation is totally normal, no need to freak out about it. Do you know how many people masturbate on a regular basis? Well neither do i cause i don’t feel like looking it up, but i’ll bet it’s A LOT. I don’t see what the big deal is, THERE IS NO ISSUE, it’s a normal desire for men and women of all ages.
And sex addiction doesn’t exist. It’s an excuse that cheating husbands use to make themselves look better.
So go ahead, watch porn and masturbate to your heart’s content.
Click to expand...
Please do not give advice on a Catholic forum that is contrary to the teachings of the Catholic faith. You advised the OP to accept and embrace grave matter. Please stop.
 
**May want to see your doctor for medication to reduce the libido. I’m taking Paxil for my depression/anxiety and the loss of libido was a welcomed side-effect. **

Dear Robert Sock,
no criticism of you intended, good sir, and I’m glad Paxil was helpful to you.
But Robert, I took Paxil a couple of times, and I became horrifically sick,
anxious, and filled with suicidal urges. I flushed every last pill down the toilet
and will never touch it again. Please be careful advising a particular medication
on these forums. I am certain you only meant the very best.

God bless you,
Jaypeeto4
 
Dear Oruwaith,

no matter how many times you fail, keep getting back up off the ground.

Pray and pray and pray until you are blue in the face.
The Rosary and The Chaplet of the Divine Mercy, and pray them FOR THE INTENTION
OF GAINING CONTROL of your passions.

God love you,
Jaypeeto4
 
Jaypeeto4 said:
**May want to see your doctor for medication to reduce the libido. I’m taking Paxil for my depression/anxiety and the loss of libido was a welcomed side-effect. **

Dear Robert Sock,
no criticism of you intended, good sir, and I’m glad Paxil was helpful to you.
But Robert, I took Paxil a couple of times, and I became horrifically sick,
anxious, and filled with suicidal urges. I flushed every last pill down the toilet
and will never touch it again. Please be careful advising a particular medication
on these forums. I am certain you only meant the very best.

God bless you,
Jaypeeto4
Click to expand...
Prozac is notorious for reducing libido, erectile response, and ability to orgasm, and it raises mood by interfering with serotonin re-uptake.The most common patient complaints are sexual side effects. Just tell your primary care doctor that you are depressed and that you would like to try prozac. 10 mg is a minimal dose. The common therapeutic dose is 20-80 mg. It is a very safe drug.

However, I would only recommend this as a last resort. Drugs are not the answer. But it could be a temporary help.
 
For goodness sake, do not take drugs to stop yourself from masturbating. If you need to take a drug for another reason and a side effect is decreased libido so be it, but do not take drugs just for that purpose.

There is a lot of good advice on the thread so far.
 
Thank you all for your responses! The other day, I decided on what I was going to do different this time. For the first two weeks after confessing my sins, I will go to mass once during the week and once on the weekend so I can fulfill my obligation. Third and fourth week, I will try and get to mass twice during the week. After that, I might go 3 times during the week, but I am not sure. Gradually increase as time goes on, whether it be going to mass, or just praying, reading the Bible ( all of which you guys have suggested) and make sure I take it one day at a time.

@ Mistercorduroy:

Yes, most of the time, these urges are ignited when I feel, or sometime after feeling, insecure. Other times, it is like a trained response. For example: When I find out I am going to be alone at my house for a while, then it is like someone flipped the switch.

@ Mudgely:

I do not believe I am addicted either. Rather, I believe, my mind has been hardwired to increase those urges when I experience certain feelings, insecurity being one of them, and am put in certain situations like being alone. So, I might be in a stage of recovery, but can’t seem to get past that stage.
 
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