I need strenght

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As I have posted before a friend of mine who is a 94 year old priest is in the hospital. Since I am not a relative they will not tell me his medical condition and I don’t dare ask him but I strongly suspect he is dying.

I tried to go see him 4-5 times a week. It is taking a good chunk of my time and keeping me fron other things but I know that if he does past, I will have no regrets about all the visits so I keep going. But it is taking a lot out of me. He is suffering so. What hurts me the most is to see his spirits so down. 3 days ago he was SO angry and cranky. I never knew he had a mean bone in him. But given all the pain he is in, I understand his anger.

I feel sad and overwhelmed. I know I am doing my best and right now my best is hopefully pretty good.

But… It is hard. In the back of my mind, I am wondering if he even wants me there or if I am bothering him. The other day it was really cold outside and when I got there and tried to hold his hand he snapped ‘your hands are cold’. So I now ask before touching him and he always says no. He won’t even let me kiss him on the forehead goobye because he is supposedly in quarantine. I have to wear a gown and gloves before going into his room but the door is always wide open for anyone to walk in and I don’t have to wear a mask :confused:

I keep telling him ‘What is a few germs amongst friends’ and he doesn’t think I am funny.

The only think that I do that has always been well received is I ask him if he would like me to say a Hail Mary and he always says yes.

There is now another man in the room and I have a feeling my friend finds him annoying. Well, this ohter man’s wife and sister in law were visiting him. Yesterday in the elevator as I was leaving his sister in law asked me if I was a nun.:banghead:

I can’t believe we live in a society where just becausee someone is praying over the sick people assume she is a nun !!! These women were well over 60 ! Not some young kids. I feel sorry for the next generation when they will be sick in bed and no one will know how to pray. They will probably just google ‘prayers’ on whatever the next gadget is to replace the smart phone.

Well, I am feeling very sad and resentments from the past are hitting me like a ton of bricks. At work, the only way I can function is to make silly jokes and avoid the pain. I need to be careful because if I don’t tone it down pretty soon it will be considered over board for an office. I just don’t know how to cope.

The saddest part is as much as I am frustrated not knowing God’s will (ie will my friend die or live), I have a feeling my friend is even more frustrated. And that hurts. I was kind of hoping he will have a happy death and look forward to being reunited with God.

Lord knows my friend has earned lots of rewards in heaven for all he has done for me over the years

Please pray for me

CM
 
May God’s Peace, Love, Mercy, Blessings & Graces be with you and to all!

Your priest friend is going through a difficult time of his life. It is a good thing that you are visiting him. Whenever we visit the sick we have to always follow the infection control policies that the hospital, nursing home etc. have in place. This is to protect not only the patient but us & everyone else. There are some diseases that are airborne so people are asked to wear a mask or it may be because the immune system of the patient is low so it helps prevents the patient from acquiring any airborne diseases from anybody who is visiting/taking care of him. There are some diseases that are contracted upon contact with the infected body fluids etc. so wearing gloves & gowns are required. Please follow the facility policies no matter how cumbersome it may be and remember to always wash your hands before & after each visit for by doing so not only are you protecting your friend’s life but yours & others as well.

Continue pray for your friend, being loving, patient & understanding to him, his needs & his situation. Have a priest visit him to administer to him the Sacraments to heal, sustain, comfort & prepare his soul.

Praying for you and for all!
 
cmscms said:
As I have posted before a friend of mine who is a 94 year old priest is in the hospital. Since I am not a relative they will not tell me his medical condition and I don’t dare ask him but I strongly suspect he is dying.

I tried to go see him 4-5 times a week. It is taking a good chunk of my time and keeping me fron other things but I know that if he does past, I will have no regrets about all the visits so I keep going. But it is taking a lot out of me. He is suffering so. What hurts me the most is to see his spirits so down. 3 days ago he was SO angry and cranky. I never knew he had a mean bone in him. But given all the pain he is in, I understand his anger.

I feel sad and overwhelmed. I know I am doing my best and right now my best is hopefully pretty good.

But… It is hard. In the back of my mind, I am wondering if he even wants me there or if I am bothering him. The other day it was really cold outside and when I got there and tried to hold his hand he snapped ‘your hands are cold’. So I now ask before touching him and he always says no. He won’t even let me kiss him on the forehead goobye because he is supposedly in quarantine. I have to wear a gown and gloves before going into his room but the door is always wide open for anyone to walk in and I don’t have to wear a mask :confused:

I keep telling him ‘What is a few germs amongst friends’ and he doesn’t think I am funny.

The only think that I do that has always been well received is I ask him if he would like me to say a Hail Mary and he always says yes.

There is now another man in the room and I have a feeling my friend finds him annoying. Well, this ohter man’s wife and sister in law were visiting him. Yesterday in the elevator as I was leaving his sister in law asked me if I was a nun.:banghead:

I can’t believe we live in a society where just becausee someone is praying over the sick people assume she is a nun !!! These women were well over 60 ! Not some young kids. I feel sorry for the next generation when they will be sick in bed and no one will know how to pray. They will probably just google ‘prayers’ on whatever the next gadget is to replace the smart phone.

Well, I am feeling very sad and resentments from the past are hitting me like a ton of bricks. At work, the only way I can function is to make silly jokes and avoid the pain. I need to be careful because if I don’t tone it down pretty soon it will be considered over board for an office. I just don’t know how to cope.

The saddest part is as much as I am frustrated not knowing God’s will (ie will my friend die or live), I have a feeling my friend is even more frustrated. And that hurts. I was kind of hoping he will have a happy death and look forward to being reunited with God.

Lord knows my friend has earned lots of rewards in heaven for all he has done for me over the years

Please pray for me

CM
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We are all praying for you and your friend. Be at peace if you can, your friend will always be with you in spirit if he cannot be with you physicallyPRAYER OF ST. FRANCIS DE SALES # 1
O love eternal,
my soul needs and chooses you eternally!
Ah, come Holy Spirit,
and inflame our hearts with your love!
To love - or to die!
To die - and to love!
To die to all other love
in order to live in Jesus’ love,
so that we may not die eternally.
But that we may live in your eternal love,
O Saviour of our souls,
we eternally sing,
"Live, Jesus!
Jesus, I love!
Live, Jesus, whom I love!
Jesus, I love,
Jesus who lives and reigns
forever and ever.

Amen.
 
As regards your priest’s irritation, he is very old and his brain is gradually failing in some areas, inevitably, like his body.

At this stage he needs above all, peace, but with someone else in the room there is added reason why he isn’t getting the quiet he needs. I would probably make my visits shorter (and quite honestly, I’d make mine a little less frequent in case my visits drained him, but you may choose differently) so that they sit lightly on him and he doesn’t feel called upon to respond. He wouldn’t have the energy, and he has concentrated to giving to others in some many ways over the years, that this is a strain on him, being obliged by charity to respond. It’s a lifetime thing and that he hasn’t the energy to give in the way he always did, could be sometimes a strain.

The visits need to feel like a very gentle gift, not requiring anything of him. It’s not that you wish him to respond or to ‘give’ you anything, but it’s a lifetime habit to feel he should. If this takes too much energy, then this will tire him and he will feel some guilt that he can’t handle, which could make him a little cranky as he has so few reserves left. And justly so, as he is 94. That is very old. Very tired, and his body is tired and ill. His last challenge. And if he knows he gets irritable, a last sad humbling thing for his mind and soul.

You are so blessed to have had God’s blessings through him in your life, and he is blessed for your caring and kindness.
 
Praying for you.
May God bless you and give you strenght.

jesus g
 
Dear Faithful Servant,

God bless you … when did you see me sick and visit me …

I visit the sick and dying myself. This is what the “Lord” has shown me to do. When I walk in I say — Peace be with you ---- Next, I am here on behalf of the Lord because he loves you — next I listen to the Holy Spirit ---- sometimes I read from John chapter 6 and I Isaiah 53. Then we usually end up with an Our Father and I pass on the Saint Francis blessing who was a layman —

The Lord bless you and keep ypu
The Lord turn his face to you and have mercy
The Lord turn his countenance to you and give you Peace
The Lord bless you

I hope this helps —
 
What you’re doing is good. You can always try just sitting next to him and not saying anything out loud, just praying for him silently. Sometimes when you’re sick and in pain it can be comforting to have a person present without pressure to interact with them. Also it sounds like he may be trying to prevent YOU from catching an infectious illness, which shows that he cares about you even though he is doing it in a cranky way. 😉

Also, don’t take his struggles with the pain and approaching death as a sign about the state of his soul. Some of the great saints have struggled mightily leading up to their deaths (not only with extreme pain but also with doubts and fears about the existence of the afterlife or the state of their soul), though they bore it with a grace that most of us may not have.

Anyway, I applaud you and will pray for you.

(I understand your frustration about the nun thing, too. I’ve been asked whether I was a nun before, just walking into a church. It’s like … “Do my clothes look a habit? Am I wearing a veil? Or a scapular?” Sigh.)
 
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