I need to come here and vent before I lose my mind!

[CuriousInIL]

She sounds like my daughter who borders on multiple personality disorder. She has too much time on her hands, she wants to manage you. Or she may try to steal you from your dh or steal your dh if she wants to possess what you have. **She may be a bit lesbian **as I think my dd has a problem with this, comes from trauma in chidhood. She may try to rule your children too, now I’m venting sorry.

Huh?

 

[stayathomemom]

I’ve read several of the posts on this thread and I tend to agree that this person has problems! I am sorry you are going through this and I hope you can soon somehow get this crazy person to leave you alone!!

I can’t think of anything better than the advice you’ve already received from several other posters, so think of my post as an attempt to make you smile…

It might be rather entertaining (if you could stand it ) to begin commenting on all of the things she has done to copy you…

Regarding the fact that she has totally decorated her house to look almost exactly like yours you might respond, “Oh, that awful stuff…we got rid of every bit of it. Totally redecorated, new color scheme and everything”

And the cabinets in your new house? Tell her you don’t know what you were thinking when you chose those hideous things…theyve been ripped out and replaced…

Tell her that a week from saturday you’re going to buy a brand new car, black with beige interior, leather seats, etc . See if she gets herself one!!

If she presses you on your NEW decorating and color schemes, go on and on about how you just love your new black carpet with the purple walls…red curtains…

If nothing else, maybe you’ll keep her guessing so much that she’ll weaken and quit from exhaustion!!



I know, not very realistic and totally mean, much better to get her to just leave you alone. Dragging it out would be worse.

I just hope you got a little chuckle …

Mary, that is a very good idea! And yes, you did make me chuckle.

 

[Little_Mary]

Mary, that is a very good idea! And yes, you did make me chuckle.

Good!

 

[stayathomemom]

Reading how the original poster handled the unwanted email this morning, I would answer that question as YES. Listening to someone go on and on, reading their emails and responding, inviting her over to her new home, etc.–those are gestures of friendship. While I question this other woman’s exact copy-cat home decorating, I would also guess that the other woman has no idea that the op doesn’t like her or her copy-cat behavior.

Well, she was a potential sale for my house (and ended up being the buyer). So, yes I was nice to her. But, I would have been nice to her if it were under any other circumstances too. That’s just my personality. My husband laughs about it, but he told me that I seem to attract nut jobs like this woman all the time. I guess it’s because maybe I am too nice, and get taken advantage of. I am an honest person, but I wouldn’t say I am blunt on a regular basis.

I know for a fact that she has sensed my being irritated with her, because she had the nerve to ask me if I was avoiding her phone calls. I should have just come out and said “YES!”, but the good in me said “I am just a very busy person.” I know, I know – But still, if you have to ASK someone that – then chances are you ARE being a pest. I wouldn’t want to continue trying to have a relationship with someone if I had the slightest clue I was a pest to them.

Also, thank you gardenswithkids for pointing out that my email may have implied that I would have called if I wouldn’t have been sick (which I was, it wasn’t an excuse). I didn’t realize that, and feel frustrated with myself for giving into her. I’ll learn.

And also, I have NEVER engaged in conversation with this woman other than to answer her questions. I try to be short and sweet. It’s just so hard because I have so many friends in my old neighborhood, and I don’t want her to ruin my reputation with them. Uh!

Oh, and one more thought…I have NEVER invited that looney toon to my house. She just showed up. I have no clue how she found out my address.

 

[EeyoresButerfly]

I would not worry about potentially ruining a reputation with friends. They know you and the kind of person you are, and they are able to see the kind of behavior this woman is engaging in. Again, with the safety of yourself and your family, the gloves come off. Safety comes before reputation. You really need to confront her, immediately. Even though you have not engaged in conversation other than the house, the fact that you have talked to her has reinforced her behavior. It’s irritating that she didn’t take the hint when she asked you if you were avoiding her, but she is never going to take a hint. It’s a bit unfair to expect her to pick up on these hints and then be upset when she doesn’t, that is a sort of passive aggressive way of dealing with things. Be blunt, be direct. Have your husband help you, whether you write an email or tell her over the phone, he can let you know if you aren’t being direct enough. Nobody likes being mean, but sometimes it is necessary to deal with a problem head on.

 

[jmcrae]

I know for a fact that she has sensed my being irritated with her, because she had the nerve to ask me if I was avoiding her phone calls. I should have just come out and said “YES!”, but the good in me said “I am just a very busy person.” I know, I know – But still, if you have to ASK someone that – then chances are you ARE being a pest. I wouldn’t want to continue trying to have a relationship with someone if I had the slightest clue I was a pest to them.

You definitely need to become more blunt.

I like to think I’m fairly clued in, but if one of my friends said she was too busy to return my phone calls, it certainly wouldn’t occur to me to think that she didn’t want to be friends any more. I’d just believe her, that she was really busy at that particular moment in time. In my case, I might leave it up to her to initiate the next contact, but if I was that woman, I definitely would feel free to call again the next day, and the next, and the next.

I might think, “Wow, she is really busy these days” but I’m pretty sure it would never dawn on me that I was being blown off.

 

[RWMorris]

To the OP:
We had problems with a new “friend” who began stalking us and eventually had to move out of STATE to get away. The guy wouldn’t leave us alone.
Take this seriously. The woman has problems. Get her out of your life permanently.
My husband ended up aiming a rifle at our stalker’s head when he (the stalker) came walking in our house one day like he owned it. It was a very scary situation.
If I were you, I would have my husband respond to this woman and I would stay out of the picture.

 

[jwashu]

I tried to read most of the responses and I don’t think anyone said this but I would guess that she may not just be a stalker but believe that her stalking is justified by God.

If she is homeschooling and already griefed you about sending your kids to Catholic school since you are Catholic, she may believe that she needs to “save” you.

In her mind, the fact that she “found” her dream house, and you guys had been from the same town etc… was God way of telling her that she was to bring you to the truth… at least in her mind.

Maybe, hopefully this isn’t the case, but if she truly believe your mortal soul is in jeapoardy, who knows what lengths she will go to… just another view to consider

I would definitely let your Husband deal with it… the part about her finding your new house in a different city is really scary… like Fatal Attraction type scary. She definitely sounds like she could be boarderline… (nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/borderline-personality-disorder.shtml)

Joe

 

[mbuangi]

Set Boundries Quickly!

 

[LilyM]

As a tip for future reference - my father always, but ALWAYS, takes the phone off the hook when he has an afternoon nap or when the children/grandchildren are having theirs.

Trust me, the world will get on just fine without you for a few hours. He’s a busy GP and it’s done just fine without him!