I need to get it off my chest

[InThePew]

• I don’t really want to be explicit about what I’ve been hiding from my partner to the priest, and when I go to confession would the line “I have lied to multiple people in my life” be a good line for confession//
• After I have confessed, because I don’t plan to tell him the truth… does that mean I would be living in sin, and that I wouldn’t be able to receive the Eucharist?

It really depends what the something that you’ve been lying about is and from what you’ve said, the priest really needs to know more details in order to help and guide you properly.

After that, it really comes down to whether the something is in the past or still ongoing. The Sacrament requires a firm purpose of amendment - a desire to do better going forward. Granted that doesn’t mean that we’re expected to get it right first time everytime from then on but it does require hope and a desire on our part.

 

[GiftofMercy]

I have been cheating on and off . We’ve talked about marriage, future kids, etc.
This lie will ruin us and he will never forgive me, I’m sure of it. He’s said to me… he can never forgive lies that will hurt someone for another person’s advantage.

I am not sure if I am understanding that you are living together when you say Partner?

Before telling him you have been cheating, it would be best to ensure you can do so in a safe environment if he is likely to react in any way in a negative manner.

The next thing I would say is if you have been together for a couple of years and have been seeing other men, think very carefully if this is the guy for you for ever.

You are in my prayers. And welcome home to the Catholic Church.

 

[Annie]

First, it seems unclear what you have confessed to the priest. You seem to have committed sinful acts with people who are not your boyfriend and lied to your boyfriend, so two sets of sins.

I only mention this because you said you did not tell the priest what you had lied about, so you may have left some sins out of your confession to the priest, which you do absolutely need to discuss with the priest.

May I also suggest that you seem confused about your life? I think that if you could talk with a counselor or therapist, you might gain some insight as to why you have been behaving in this way in your relationship.

 

[TheLittleLady]

No priest will ever require you to reveal your sins to any other human being.

 

[Elf01]

You need to explicitly confess the cheating and any details that change the circumstances (cheated with someone who was married, unnatural acts, birth control, etc)… in terms of your future, you need to resolve to stop. If you continue to cheat up until the time of the wedding, it may call into question the validity of the marriage.

As could lying about something that may cause him to rethink the relationship.

 

[Lara]

To prevent future cheating, it would be helpful to remember this simple truth: men and women cannot be friends (particularly if there’s any attraction). Repeat that line a few times.

Everybody can write things to the contrary here, but particularly if you have a bent for cheating, you’re better off heeding this advice which I’ve arrived at through many years of experience. Almost every single man wants to be your friend so that if your relationship doesn’t last, he can be next in line. These guys are called beta orbiters. Avoid them.

Avoid the near occasion of sin by not making male friends. If you must continue having a friendship with a man, include your boyfriend in all get togethers and you will see the likelihood that this friendship will wither. If your male friend will not come and visit you both, you know exactly where you’re at.

 

[QwertyGirl]

he can never forgive lies that will hurt someone for another person’s advantage.

In my opinion, this is a red flag. Stating that one could never forgive another would be a problem for me.

I’m not saying what you have been doing is right. If you have been leading him to believe you are committed to him, but then have been seeing other people, then that is definitely a problem.

You aren’t married. What do you consider “cheating”?

Consider the reason(s) you feel the need for additional relationships. Your time would be better spent doing that than consuming yourself with guilt. It is a symptom of a bigger issue, that you are looking for relationships beyond your boyfriend. There must be something missing, or a void within you. Work on that.

 

[PatK63]

@Ineedtogetitoffmyche
Why can’t you confess I have been cheating on my bf? The priest can help you sort out what the wrong is any advise you what you need to do. It sounds like it is a justice issue.

Welcome to CAF.

 

[Loud-living-dogma]

The question, I think, is do you really want to be with your partner? Maybe you’re not happy with this person, and that’s why you’re “cheating”.
Is it possible you’re using the cheating because you actually don’t want to be with him? If you want to be with your partner why are you cheating?
Maybe you want to break up, but that’s too scary? How old are you – maybe you’re not ready to be “tied down”?
I don’t think you’re required to tell him this, if you decide you want to break it off.