"I never forget when someone does me wrong"

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Eric_Hyom said:
Holding onto anger eats away at you. Anger is like picking up a burning coal, with the intention of throwing it at the person who angers you, and the person who gets burned the most is you. The longer you hold onto the burning coal of anger the hotter it becomes.
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Yes I know what you are saying and I agree. But there is also another school of thought that says we shouldn’t waste anger. Anger can actually be useful to us. Spur us into action. The same school of thought says we shouldn’t be ashamed of our anger.
Anger is such a tricky emotion. I think the earlier we learn to deal with the emotion the better. When I was a child, I was taught that “anger is bad, dont express anger”. So I learnt to suppress it. But that just created a problem that needed expression later in adult life.
 
It must be harder when you have to have ongoing contact. I found being able to live away from those who wronged me and not having them in my life such a healer.
 
goodcatholic said:
Yes I know what you are saying and I agree. But there is also another school of thought that says we shouldn’t waste anger. .
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We all have the right to be angry at injustice, but we should not react in an angry way. The person who angers you; controls you. In other words, they make you angry, they make you do things that you will regret later.

You cannot think clearly when your fists are clenched, and this is what anger does. I have witnessed a number of lads punching walls and windows. I have witnessed a lad rip his arm open after punching a window in anger.
 
A friend shared this with me years ago. Maybe some will find it helpful; I know I did when I found myself in a situation where it was very difficult for me to forgive someone who could not care less whether I forgave her or not:

"Forgiveness is a unilateral act on your part and is not conditional by any response or action on the part of the person who hurt you. Feelings of anger are normal, but not particularly helpful.

Forgiveness is the intentional act you make in refusing to allow another person’s actions to continue to harm you, and to act as Jesus has commanded us in not harboring resentment against our enemies.

What forgiveness is NOT:
condoning
enabling
codependency
approving
whitewashing
ignoring
or refusing to hold someone accountable for their actions when they break the laws of God or man."
 
To paraphrase a parable of our Lord, imagine for a moment that you owed a great debt to someone. Say 20 thousand dollars.
But, you just could never pay up.
But, he forgives you.
And then you leave and express anger and violence to the one who owes you 20 dollars.
What is the worth in that?
We pray, “Forgive us our sins as we forgive others”. We offend God SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much more than we have been offended. Let us never forget that. Let us all work on
 
Little_Mary said:
What forgiveness is NOT:

condoning

enabling

codependency

approving

whitewashing

ignoring

or refusing to hold someone accountable for their actions when they break the laws of God or man."
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Well someone needs to spell what “forgiveness” actually is in the Gospel. Otherwise we are all going to have our own versions of it.
 
Maybe. Sometimes I found anger to be useful. Proper anger can prompt you to do what’s right. Properly used, anger is a spur to tell you, this isn’t right, and then do something to make it right.
 
That is exactly right Cajun. You know I have a better memory for wrongs done to me than wrongs I have done to others. Selective amnesia? 🙂
 
we forgive when there is matter to forgive. Now the matter of forgiveness is the evil one suffers. But in Faith, the only evil we can suffer is the sin we committed ourselves. So if anyone finds that he really has to forgive, he must instead make an effort in the Faith to understand that the supposed evil that he has suffered from someone, was wanted by God, and then, is in fact a good thing, and therefore objectively he has nothing to forgive.
 
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