"I never knew you"

  • Thread starter Thread starter Crown_of_Stars
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
C

Crown_of_Stars

Guest
Christ says “I never knew you” to a soul He has judged and condemned, and at these words, He is dismissing the soul and telling it to depart from Him.
These words are my worst fear. I don’t even know, but I would have to honestly say that I think I love God and Jesus. The emotional feeling is there, especially during the Mass when I am in tears every week. Yet I still don’t know. I fight against horribly intrusive, blasphemous thoughts that are definitely unwanted. I don’t want them in the least. I, however, have sins that I can control, but in the heat of the moment choose not to. They are extreme anger and disgust which might be hatred, impatience, things like that. Also, I am guilty of nitpicky gossip (never to anyone but my mother, actually, and I would never deliberately set out to ruin a decent person’s reputation) I don’t even know if my sins are mortal or venial, because there are varying degrees. My mind is always on my faith, and becoming even more so, actually. The thing I fear the most about Hell is the eternal separation from God and all that is good. The fire and torments I almost don’t even care about, but I can’t bear the thought of the separation from Him. I have gone to Confession, and obviously need to do it again, and again and again, until I get it right!
If someone who would really know how to help me could give me their honest thoughts on my fear, I would be so grateful. If a deacon or priest reads on this forum, and you are reading my thread, please offer me any insight.
I realize I should be talking to a priest in person, and I am considering it.
I don’t know if Jesus would say “I never knew you” to me, if I were to die tonight. I, for the most part, feel He wouldn’t, yet there is that fear of the unknown and nagging doubt. This could mean I lack faith.
Any insight would set my mind and heart to rest, yet I would also want to know the truth as well. Does my caring so much about this mean He probably wouldn’t say these words to me? Is there anything at all I could do, such as say certain prayers to Him, that might alleviate my fear, or take it away entirely? I just need something, because it is sometimes as I lie trying to fall asleep that this worry consumes me. Last night, I thought of His agony in the garden, and wished I could somehow in a sense be there with Him, comforting Him, as the angel did.
 
It may help to read “Story of A Soul” The Autobiography of St. Therese’ of Lisieux".

Start reading from page 211-216.
Also read “Mother Teresa - Come Be My Light”

These great and wonderful saint know what you are dealing with. They will walk with you.
They are Saints and you can ask them for help. You can ask them to pray for you.

They carried on in their darkness.

I love them both dearly.
 
HelenRose said:
It may help to read “Story of A Soul” The Autobiography of St. Therese’ of Lisieux".

Start reading from page 211-216.
Also read “Mother Teresa - Come Be My Light”

These great and wonderful saint know what you are dealing with. They will walk with you.
They are Saints and you can ask them for help. You can ask them to pray for you.

They carried on in their darkness.

I love them both dearly.
Click to expand...
Books to read by night, books that are a lamp burning in the darkness. Something to read before slipping off.
Thankyou for your suggestions, HelenRose.
 
These words worry me too and so they should. But if we attend mass and participate fully, and pray, spend time in adoration… live the way Jesus outlines in the Bible… then we are doing our part to know him.

I think the passage about those that call on his name but never know him are the ones that pray only when in peril but have no active prayer life and don’t attend church.

There’s a TV show about families that have said their houses were haunted and it usually ends up with a priest coming and blessing the house and then the manifestations stop. The priest visit is usually the last resort and it baffles me watching this show that the families then just seem to forget what happens and go back to their life with no prayers or church involvement. See this is an example of only being interested in God when we need something.

We need to make Jesus a part of our daily life so we can know him.
 
Ignore the unwanted thoughts. They are a temptation. Sometimes when you fight them,
they get stronger.

It is good to fear the loss of heaven but if this thought takes over your life and prevents you from doing what you need to do, (eating, sleeping, having peace of mind), you may be scrupulous. If this is an obsession, you need to find a good holy priest for a spiritual direction and obey him. He will tell you how often you may confess, etc.

Also, you may need to see a doctor for medication for anxiety or obsessive-compulsive disorder. There is usually a biological component to the disease of scruples.

God bless you.
 
When you are tempted in this way why not pray "Oh God, help me to do something good instead of something bad.
Remember, the Devil knows that his time is short and he will pull out all the stops in order to draw as many souls away from God.
 
We have a strong ally in Heaven, the Blessed Mother.

I hear what you are saying, and I think many of us worry about how close we really are to Jesus … but we have recourse to the Blessed Mother, who will bring us closer to Christ. Consider wearing the Brown Scapular, it may help your worries.
 
Crown_of_Stars said:
Christ says “I never knew you” to a soul He has judged and condemned, and at these words, He is dismissing the soul and telling it to depart from Him.
These words are my worst fear. I don’t even know, but I would have to honestly say that I think I love God and Jesus. The emotional feeling is there, especially during the Mass when I am in tears every week. Yet I still don’t know. I fight against horribly intrusive, blasphemous thoughts that are definitely unwanted. I don’t want them in the least. I, however, have sins that I can control, but in the heat of the moment choose not to. They are extreme anger and disgust which might be hatred, impatience, things like that. Also, I am guilty of nitpicky gossip (never to anyone but my mother, actually, and I would never deliberately set out to ruin a decent person’s reputation) I don’t even know if my sins are mortal or venial, because there are varying degrees. My mind is always on my faith, and becoming even more so, actually. The thing I fear the most about Hell is the eternal separation from God and all that is good. The fire and torments I almost don’t even care about, but I can’t bear the thought of the separation from Him. I have gone to Confession, and obviously need to do it again, and again and again, until I get it right!
If someone who would really know how to help me could give me their honest thoughts on my fear, I would be so grateful. If a deacon or priest reads on this forum, and you are reading my thread, please offer me any insight.
I realize I should be talking to a priest in person, and I am considering it.
I don’t know if Jesus would say “I never knew you” to me, if I were to die tonight. I, for the most part, feel He wouldn’t, yet there is that fear of the unknown and nagging doubt. This could mean I lack faith.
Any insight would set my mind and heart to rest, yet I would also want to know the truth as well. Does my caring so much about this mean He probably wouldn’t say these words to me? Is there anything at all I could do, such as say certain prayers to Him, that might alleviate my fear, or take it away entirely? I just need something, because it is sometimes as I lie trying to fall asleep that this worry consumes me. Last night, I thought of His agony in the garden, and wished I could somehow in a sense be there with Him, comforting Him, as the angel did.
Click to expand...
I can relate to this 100%. I was having real struggles with the same blasphemous thoughts you mentioned. I believed that frequent Confession and receiving of the Eucharist would help me with such thoughts. Turns out this was wrong.

The priest either recognized my sins or my voice, and he chose to sort of chastise me in the confessional. Even reaching a point where he virtually yelled at me, “STOP IT”.
I was quite humiliated and didn’t feel forgiven. I believed I made a worthwhile confession each time, and I made a firm purpose to go and sin no more. Invariably I would fall and like the analogy that most priests use, I was sick (sin) and going to the doctor (confessor) for medicine (absolution). However this thinking must have been off in some capacity and I struggled to (and still do) reconcile everything.

Praying the Divine Mercy helps, and it may just be me, but the Chaplet of St. Michael makes things worse because when I repent and do well and say the Chaplet of St. Michael it seems that I get hit 10000x times worse with temptation and sin than ever before.
 
One of the most comforting words that the Church teaches is: Satan can not read your mind unless you give him permission. He may whisper words of despair. But he can never know how it effects you.

When I have bad or discouraging thoughts that I can not seem to leave I pray this prayer: " I do not want the evil to know this about me. Oh God cast a shield around my thoughts. Cast a shield around anything thought that the evil one wants to know about. Cast a shield around my weaknesses and fears. Allow me to bring these thoughts and fears to you only."

When I pray this I can be assured that God alone hears what my fears are and I can know that my thoughts and fears are in safe in His loving hands.

Outwardly be serene. What ever is going on internally can only be seen by God.
 
punisherthunder said:
I can relate to this 100%. I was having real struggles with the same blasphemous thoughts you mentioned. I believed that frequent Confession and receiving of the Eucharist would help me with such thoughts. Turns out this was wrong.

The priest either recognized my sins or my voice, and he chose to sort of chastise me in the confessional. Even reaching a point where he virtually yelled at me, “STOP IT”.
I was quite humiliated and didn’t feel forgiven. I believed I made a worthwhile confession each time, and I made a firm purpose to go and sin no more. Invariably I would fall and like the analogy that most priests use, I was sick (sin) and going to the doctor (confessor) for medicine (absolution). However this thinking must have been off in some capacity and I struggled to (and still do) reconcile everything.

Praying the Divine Mercy helps, and it may just be me, but the Chaplet of St. Michael makes things worse because when I repent and do well and say the Chaplet of St. Michael it seems that I get hit 10000x times worse with temptation and sin than ever before.
Click to expand...
Never go to that priest again. He is an aberration.
 
HelenRose said:
Never go to that priest again. He is an aberration.
Click to expand...
He’s the lone parish priest here. Believe it or not, the surrounding Churches do not have confessional times. They only offer confession “by request”.

I really think that the Church’s worst offense is that there is not more confessional times. I read about St. Jon Vianney or Pardre Pio being in there for 12 or 15 hours a day!
 
punisherthunder said:
He’s the lone parish priest here. Believe it or not, the surrounding Churches do not have confessional times. They only offer confession “by request”.

I really think that the Church’s worst offense is that there is not more confessional times. I read about St. Jon Vianney or Pardre Pio being in there for 12 or 15 hours a day!
Click to expand...
Change gears for awhile.

Read “The Story of the Soul”. When I first read it, I thought to myself, “You’ve got to be kidding. This is really sappy.”

I was intrigued though, that so many Catholic male scholars were fascinated by her and wrote serious papers about her “little way”. So I started reading it again and again, trying to find out what was so special about her. I read about her and then it began to seep into my proud somewhat feminist thinking. Yes, she turned the Church upside down. She is truly a doctor of the Church.

In her very simple life she found the way. And I have been following her ever since. You see I have an mildly autistic sister who lives with my husband and me. Without the teachings of Saint Therese’ I would not be able to be kind to my sister because she drives me crazy. But the little way of Saint Therese’ and the writings of Saint Teresa of Calcutta have taught me what real love is. I am beginning to learn how to set boundaries with kindness and with less and less sarcasm.
 
Matthew 25
41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

Feed the hungry
give drink to the thirsty
welcome the stranger
cloth the naked
visit the sick and prisoners
 
Michael_Mayo said:
Matthew 25
41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

Feed the hungry
give drink to the thirsty
welcome the stranger
cloth the naked
visit the sick and prisoners
Click to expand...
We may not be able to all of things but we can: visit a nursing home. Take cookies to the shut in. Knit or sew blankets for the homeless. Be kind to someone who is hurting. Pray for others. Send a card to some one is having troubles.

As Saint Teresa of Calcutta said, “Do small things with great love.”
 
Crown_of_Stars said:
Christ says “I never knew you” to a soul He has judged and condemned, and at these words, He is dismissing the soul and telling it to depart from Him.
These words are my worst fear. I don’t even know, but I would have to honestly say that I think I love God and Jesus. The emotional feeling is there, especially during the Mass when I am in tears every week. Yet I still don’t know. I fight against horribly intrusive, blasphemous thoughts that are definitely unwanted. I don’t want them in the least. I, however, have sins that I can control, but in the heat of the moment choose not to. They are extreme anger and disgust which might be hatred, impatience, things like that. Also, I am guilty of nitpicky gossip (never to anyone but my mother, actually, and I would never deliberately set out to ruin a decent person’s reputation) I don’t even know if my sins are mortal or venial, because there are varying degrees. My mind is always on my faith, and becoming even more so, actually. The thing I fear the most about Hell is the eternal separation from God and all that is good. The fire and torments I almost don’t even care about, but I can’t bear the thought of the separation from Him. I have gone to Confession, and obviously need to do it again, and again and again, until I get it right!
If someone who would really know how to help me could give me their honest thoughts on my fear, I would be so grateful. If a deacon or priest reads on this forum, and you are reading my thread, please offer me any insight.
I realize I should be talking to a priest in person, and I am considering it.
I don’t know if Jesus would say “I never knew you” to me, if I were to die tonight. I, for the most part, feel He wouldn’t, yet there is that fear of the unknown and nagging doubt. This could mean I lack faith.
Any insight would set my mind and heart to rest, yet I would also want to know the truth as well. Does my caring so much about this mean He probably wouldn’t say these words to me? Is there anything at all I could do, such as say certain prayers to Him, that might alleviate my fear, or take it away entirely? I just need something, because it is sometimes as I lie trying to fall asleep that this worry consumes me. Last night, I thought of His agony in the garden, and wished I could somehow in a sense be there with Him, comforting Him, as the angel did.
Click to expand...
For you …

youtube.com/watch?v=51LGsPMKeAE
 
HelenRose said:
We may not be able to all of things but we can: visit a nursing home. Take cookies to the shut in. Knit or sew blankets for the homeless. Be kind to someone who is hurting. Pray for others. Send a card to some one is having troubles.

As Saint Teresa of Calcutta said, “Do small things with great love.”
Click to expand...
👍
 
HelenRose said:
We may not be able to all of things but we can: visit a nursing home. Take cookies to the shut in. Knit or sew blankets for the homeless. Be kind to someone who is hurting. Pray for others. Send a card to some one is having troubles.

As Saint Teresa of Calcutta said, “Do small things with great love.”
Click to expand...
Something that can be done quite easily … especially for someone like me who is disabled and can’t get out to nursing homes, etc. … pray for the people on line who are asking for prayers in the prayer intention section … and also pray for the repose of the souls, many of which are listed in that section. I was praying to Jesus a few weeks ago and asking him to show me a way to do something charitable even though I was disabled, and suddenly I found myself praying for others.

I also like your idea of knitting for the homeless … my issue is that I also have ulnar nerve issues on top of all my other illnesses … so although I once crocheted, I’m not allowed to anymore. However, I really like the idea, and I might go against doctor orders.
 
Katherine438 said:
Something that can be done quite easily … especially for someone like me who is disabled and can’t get out to nursing homes, etc. … pray for the people on line who are asking for prayers in the prayer intention section … and also pray for the repose of the souls, many of which are listed in that section. I was praying to Jesus a few weeks ago and asking him to show me a way to do something charitable even though I was disabled, and suddenly I found myself praying for others.

I also like your idea of knitting for the homeless … my issue is that I also have ulnar nerve issues on top of all my other illnesses … so although I once crocheted, I’m not allowed to anymore. However, I really like the idea, and I might go against doctor orders.
Click to expand...
Maybe just a little bit each day to keep in practice. Pot holders with cotton yarn for soup kitchens. You are a prayer warrior. Don’t take that lightly. It is these prayers that are going to change the world. Your courage will be noticed not only by God but by those around you that need encouragement. My father-in-law is in a Nursing Home. There is a little lady there named Marg. She is walks around with her walker helping other residents to their rooms. She talks to everyone. She brings life the other residents. She is amazing. She is an example of doing little things with great love. On the surface, what she does may seem insignificant but to the other residents they mean everything.
 
I deeply thank every one of you who have offered me your thoughts. I take them all to heart. Katherine438, thankyou for the little video. It was lovely.
Just today, I was giving it all more thought, and am now wondering if my fears border on the selfish side. I have to honestly ask myself… Am I giving more thought (than is healthy) to what I’m afraid of, rather than focusing on serving God? Are my fears a sign of focusing on myself, rather than on God? I know it is right to fear the Lord…yet I also realize at times it is an obsession with me.
It’s just becoming more and more important to me. I cannot…cannot…let myself face condemnation at death. It terrifies me more than anything ever has and ever will, and as I said before, it is the fear of loss of God and all that is good rather than the torments.
 
I think if you are posting this and are exposing to us your brothers and sisters your fears about condemnation, it shows that you are not wanting to depart from god, there for your showing your love towards him. someetimes the closer you get to God, the closer the blasphemous thoughts come too, it happens and happened to me as well, sometimes you worry more… if i can offer you one bit of advice, try using the positive words of the bible more so to help you as opposed to the negative, it is extremely negative that someone is condemned to hell, but dont apply it to your situation, you are worrying for a soul that has already been damned, and that isnt your own, your worrying about someone who chose satan, instead of God, and worrying about it for no reason, i think your post just shows how much you do love God, remember God is for you, then who can be against you, and that if you talk to him, he will know where your heart is, i fear all the same things you do, but the saints, lived with resiliency, even throughout there sin, saint augustine was a terrible sinner, but it was his communication and belief in forgiveness that he would one day make it to heaven, the damned soul, simply chose to stay bad, in my opinion anyway, he or she didnt strive to live out in faith, God knows where we are all at, i cant judge you , its forbidden, but your post shows me positive in you, for whatever thats worth
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top