I really need your advice(please read!)

  • Thread starter Thread starter natedagw824
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
N

natedagw824

Guest
Hi there,

From the time, I’ve been a little boy to now I have always prayed and gone to church. However, with that said, I have NOT felt God’s presence in my life since I’ve been a little boy. Why? I still pray my rosary and I still go to church.
I’ve been very perplexed about this. The only logical thing that makes sense is the fact that I had a psychotic break in 2005; Currently, I take Geodon to manage my psychosis. Since my break happened, I’ve had one heck of a time “feeling God” in my life. Basically, I feel like I’m going to hell for my sins and I feel like I’ll never reach heaven. Furthermore, I feel guilty praying to the Blessed Mother and the saints. Maybe I’m too hard on myself, but I’m now going to share with you something that happened to me when I was 16 years old. This one event has had a MAJOR impact on my life and on my relationship with God.
Basically, when I was 16 years old, a priest tried to make a sexual pass at me(ie. He made a move on me). One thing led to another and I had to go to court to testify against the priest and because of my testimony the church REMOVED him from the priesthood. Like I said earlier, this all happened when I was 16 years old. Sometimes I feel like it’s my fault, but he was the one that made the move on me.
Well, lets get back to the topic. Because of what happened with the priest, I feel like God has punished me and that I’m going to hell because I had a “man of the cloth” removed from the priesthood. Now, I’ve had long talks with my dad(he knew this priest for a long time and he knows his history really well) and he says that this priest has had “Other Problems” like this in his past, so maybe I was right. I really don’t know.
After all this happened, life went on as usual, but when I was 19 years old I came down with a muscular disease called Fibromyalgia. Then when I was 23 I had a psychotic break on top of everything else!
Basically, I need some spiritual advice. Did I do the right thing back when I was 16? Did God send two diseases my way to “pay me back” for what happened to the priest? Am I in danger of going to hell? Was I really the victim, or was the priest? Also, I never lied about anything; what happened, happened.
What can I do to help my spiritual life? How can I get that feeling of having God in my life?

These are questions that have bothered me for quite some time now. I feel like I really need to talk to a priest about these things, but I wanted your (name removed by moderator)ut on what I should do.

God bless you all,

Nathan 😉
 
Hi Nathan,
Some of us are really sensitive to Gods presence. This could also make us sensitive to spiritual attacks. Sometimes these attacks manifest themselfs , like your issue with the priest. Just as God uses other people to help us, the enemy on contrast , uses others sin to try to get to us, break us down. He wants us to feel hopeless and damned. To give up on prayer, because of the great power of the prayer coming from someone that has been blessed to be close to God. I take geodon twice a day. I don’t like to take it because I don’t feel as close to God when I do. But without it , I get a sensory overload after a period of time. Geodon does take control of your sarotonin levels in the brain. It levels out your highs and lows, but this also affects your spiritual life as well. Seems kinda “blah” doesn’t it. Don’t worry , God is just as close even if you don’t feel Him. Geodon is a blessing in disguise. It helps those who are sensitive rely more on faith then substance. Jesus said “blessed is he who believes without seeing”
You did the right thing when you were 16. Don’t let the enemy get you down about this. You may have even helped this priest to get help himself. Put that behind you. Your prayers are still as powerful as they always been, even if you don’t feel Gods presence.
Ever read any of St. Faustina’s writings about the mercy of the Lord? She spoke to the Lord often. Nowadays, they would probably have her on geodon too.:rolleyes: She was very blessed as I think that you are as well. She also suffered from disease. I’ll put a link up to some of her diary entries. Take care and God bless you Nathan. Tim
catholic-forum.com/catholicteacher/divinemercy1.htm
 
I am so sorry to hear your story. I said a Chaplet of Divine Mercy for you and that priest.With such a trauma and violation, you need professional help. Maybe you have done counseling before, but if your wound is not healed, you need continue to seek professional help. It will be good to talk to a holy priest, but professional counseling is also needed.

It is good you are going to church and saying the rosary. By all means keep on doing that. Please do not blame yourself. You know you have been honest, and the removal of the priest is not your fault. Forgive him and pray for him.

Know that God loves you no matter what. Even you could not “feel” him, He is there for you. He loves you so much and died for you on the Cross. You are now carrying a cross due to the consequence of another person’s sin. But know that Jesus is carrying the cross with you. If you can, make the effort to do Eucharist Adoration often. There is healing power in front of the Blessed Sacrament.

I hope the best for you. God bless!
 
Nathan,
What happened between you and the Priest was NOT your fault. It was good that you came forward and reported him and he was removed because who knows how many others kids he “would’ve made a move on.” That is just so very wrong and NEVER EVER the victim’s fault.

Regarding feeling God in your life. I’m sorry you don’t feel His presence - but honestly, our feelings don’t matter in the least. They can lie to us & make us believe things that aren’t so. Satan would LOVE for you to believe that you aren’t good enough or that God sent your health troubles to somehow punish you, but that just isn’t true.

What is true is this: God loves you so very very much and He sent His only Son to die on the cross for your sins. He will NEVER EVER turn His back on you - you are his precious child. It’s wonderful that you continue to go to Church and pray the rosary, both of those will keep you close to God, even if you don’t feel it.

I think talking to a Priest about your concerns, or maybe a good Catholic counselor would help you alot.

My prayers are with you.
CM
 
The ex-priest is to blame for his own actions. The church removed him from the priesthood, you did not. You told the truth. You were brave. God Bless You.
 
Hi

You were right in reporting that Priest - that is not what the Priesthood is all about. Many victims feel as you do however - that they did something to encourage that behavior, or that they ‘deserve it’ for whatever reason. WRONG. It was entirely out of your contol, and God does not use Priests in that way - nor does He punish people for reporting Priests who do those things.

Feeling removed from God also happens to people who are not on medications - I personally feel it is one of the ways God strengthens us. Struggling and fighting increases our strength, increases our Faith, and forms us in the fire f adversity. This is a good thing! Rejoice when you are tempted, rejoice when you are tried, rejoice when you feel the weight of the world - God has found you worthy to go through these things!

Also - I agree with another poster who recommended counseling - which you should be doing anyway if you are on meds…go - discuss these things with them too - Catholic if possible.

Good luck and God Bless

John
 
natedagw824 said:
Basically, I need some spiritual advice. Did I do the right thing back when I was 16?
Click to expand...
Yes
Did God send two diseases my way to “pay me back” for what happened to the priest?
Click to expand...
No. God doesn’t work that way.
God loves you. Always has. Always will.
Any pain or illness or suffering we endure in this lifetime is a means for us to bind ourselves closer to Jesus in his passion and thus save souls in purgatory as we grow closer to God.
Am I in danger of going to hell?
Click to expand...
Everyone is in danger of going to hell thanks to Satan’s constant attacks against our faith in Jesus.

Are you in danger of going to hell because you testified against a man of the cloth? No. You will not go to hell for speaking the truth.

Do not despair that you were the one to meet this task which needed to be done for His sake. You did nothing wrong in testifying against this priest but you seem to be feeling remorse for having been the catalyst leading to the priest’s removal.

Consider that God chose you to be the one to expose this shepherd of His in order to prevent this man from harming anyone else. Know that you fulfilled His will in protecting future boys from being harmed and by helping the church stop this cancer from spreading. Both are good deeds and required a person of strength and courage. God chooses His messengers wisely and always gives them the tools they need to meet the challenge. He will not abandon you.
Was I really the victim, or was the priest?
Click to expand...
You were. The fact that you are asking, however, suggests you do need to revisit the incident in therapy in order to come to terms with what really took place. Over the years, apparently, your mind has been playing tricks on you leading you to confusion.
Also, I never lied about anything; what happened, happened. What can I do to help my spiritual life?
Click to expand...
Seek the therapy you need, hopefully from a Catholic therapist and then attend some spiritual retreats. Perhaps there’s a support group within your diocese for victims of sexual abuse from priests.
How can I get that feeling of having God in my life?
Click to expand...
Recognize that we can’t **get **that feeling of having God in our lives. We can only empty ourselves to His will so that He may enter into our lives. You have some gunk and junk floating around which is keeping you from feeling His love for you. Therapy will help you deal with that gunk and junk so you can make room for His presence in your life.

Know, without a doubt, that His presence is within you. You are correct to assess that you are not able to feel that presence, but always remember that does not mean the presence is not there. That should provide some comfort.

Continue with the rosary and attending mass. They are the strongest weapons we have against Satan.

May God continue to bless you after having chosen you at such a young age to help Him heal His church. May you soon be able to allow yourself to trust in Him and in His love for you.

You will be in my prayers.
 
Thanks a lot for all the replies. Just to let you all know, I’m currently attending counseling at the university of michigan. However, with that said, I would like to get into catholic counseling. Anyone know of any counseling like this in the detroit, Michigan area?

Your replies have really helped me in dealing with this issue.

Thanks again,

Nathan 😉
 
"I’m now going to share with you something that happened to me when I was 16 years old. This one event has had a MAJOR impact on my life and on my relationship with God.
Basically, when I was 16 years old, a priest tried to make a sexual pass at me(ie. He made a move on me). One thing led to another and I had to go to court to testify against the priest and because of my testimony the church REMOVED him from the priesthood. Like I said earlier, this all happened when I was 16 years old)…

This broke my heart…my advise to you is to:

1-Read your BIBLE cover to cover (I don’t think you ever did)
2-Ask questions if you do no understand a verse (do not go back to the same priest!!!)
3-Try to learn about other religions: Budism, Islam, Jew, Hindusm…you may find your God there.

Again, I am sorry for the act of the CHRISTIAN PRIEST, he must be linked to Sex-Terror Organization.

Goodluck,
ISYD
 
Ishare,
It is not necessary for this young man to look outside of the Catholic Church for God. Or even advisable.
The Lord Jesus Christ is his salvation. And the Lord is found in the Catholic Church.
Nate,
The Lord be with you. You are in my prayers.
 
Dear Nate,

It is not necessary for this young man to look outside of the Catholic Church for God. Or even advisable: … The Lord Jesus Christ is his salvation.

1-He asked for help, and I replied, if he found God in the Catholic why is he begging for help.

And the Lord is found in the Catholic Church.
Nate,

2-I do not agree, God if everywhere, this is sound like a SLAVE young, let him free and learn on his own…

God is not a racist, he is at the Jewish, Muslim, Christian, Budist place of worship…

I am a Muslim, the reason I typed in NONE because you did not have Islam listed there…

And here is another advice to the young boy (adult now):
What Nate is doing is the same what the Catholic Church has been doing…Priests don’t want you to dig, because if you do…he cannot have sex with you…My brother-in-law is a preacher (Pennicoastal), nice looking, kind, polite, lovely person…my first time I met him I knew he is a gay or on of that type…I told my wife: “Your brother looks GAY to me” she was very mad at me for awhile…well she left her brother church two yeas ago after they found out that HE WAS involved in Child Sex (you know what I am talking about)…

Here is what he did, he changed a State and started a new Church…and these new people are listening and believing just like you…

Learn your BIBLE like I said, have an idea about other religions, you do not have to convert, just knowledge…

Thank you all,
ISYD
 
I really hope that God doesn’t work in the way that you are articulating, because if he does I don’t have a lot to look forward to.

Do you honestly think God would be angry with you for testifying against a priest who made a sexual advance on you? I don’t. I don’t think God is vindicative. Read over the new covenant. Jesus is its fulfillment.

You talk about feeling God. Just to let you know, St. John of the Cross feels it is normal not to…it doesn’t mean he isn’t there but possibly it means he knows what is best for you and is perhaps allowing you to grow spiritually on your own for a while. It doesn’t mean He is not working in you.

I reccommend trying to find God in prayer, perhaps in Adoration. Peace out.🙂
 
Perhaps pray about the whole sensation of ‘not feeling God’.
 
I’m a young guy too so maybe I can be a little more empathetic about this situation. (Not saying the other posters’ aren’t.)

First, you must remember that every person (including myself) has had some negative time in their faith. I cannot stress the importance of telling yourself every day that God loves you NO MATTER WHAT !! 🙂

We as humans have all been scarred by the original sin of Adam and Eve and are weak to the fallen nature which we all have within us. The priest who sinned against you and God succumed to this nature: not you. Remember however, (you can look for this in your Bible if you want) right after The Father justly punished Adam and Eve for their sin, He promised to send a Savior to give His eternal Love to humanity. Christ. Christ is hope for all: you, me, Pope Benedict, little nuns in Jerusalem, and even the priest who wronged you.

At every time in some persons life they will go through periods of “dryness”. This is when we feel like we are seperated from God. That He has forgotten us. This is not true. He is there as much as you think he isn’t. Remember Jesus’ words: “I will be with you until the end of all time.”, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life”, “…whoever drinks the water I shall give will never thirst; the water I shall give will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” I know you are doubting so much at this point, but you must ignore these feelings of unworthiness and trust in the hope of Christ.

My greatest advice: Stick with the Rosary which had the power to make me turn from sinfull despair and read the Bible; especially the Gospels and the Prophets of the Old Testament which offer many words of comfort.

I’ll pray for you. Keep faith. It was not your fault. God loves you.
 
Nathan,
It is possible that the Lord sometimes allows us to travel along not being able to see His hands outreached to us. But just because we cannot see Him, does not mean He is not there urging us closer to Him.
The evil that was done to you must not deter you from your path to salvation. That is exactly why the evil was done. To cause you to doubt and fear and leave the truth behind. The Lord is with you. God bless you.
 
scapularkid8 said:
I’m a young guy too so maybe I can be a little more empathetic about this situation. (Not saying the other posters’ aren’t.)

First, you must remember that every person (including myself) has had some negative time in their faith. I cannot stress the importance of telling yourself every day that God loves you NO MATTER WHAT !! 🙂

We as humans have all been scarred by the original sin of Adam and Eve and are weak to the fallen nature which we all have within us. The priest who sinned against you and God succumed to this nature: not you. Remember however, (you can look for this in your Bible if you want) right after The Father justly punished Adam and Eve for their sin, He promised to send a Savior to give His eternal Love to humanity. Christ. Christ is hope for all: you, me, Pope Benedict, little nuns in Jerusalem, and even the priest who wronged you.

At every time in some persons life they will go through periods of “dryness”. This is when we feel like we are seperated from God. That He has forgotten us. This is not true. He is there as much as you think he isn’t. Remember Jesus’ words: “I will be with you until the end of all time.”, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life”, “…whoever drinks the water I shall give will never thirst; the water I shall give will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” I know you are doubting so much at this point, but you must ignore these feelings of unworthiness and trust in the hope of Christ.

My greatest advice: Stick with the Rosary which had the power to make me turn from sinfull despair and read the Bible; especially the Gospels and the Prophets of the Old Testament which offer many words of comfort.

I’ll pray for you. Keep faith. It was not your fault. God loves you.
Click to expand...
Hello there scapularkid8! It’s so very nice to know that a young person like you prays their rosary. I pray my rosary as much as possible; like someone said earlier, it keeps the devil away! Throughout my life as a Catholic, the rosary has strengthened me a lot! I remember watching the movie “The miracle of our lady of Fatima,” I loved that movie so much! It gave me a sense of hope and love for Jesus’ mercy.

I guess what you all are saying is for me to get back to my roots; praying, mass, confession, eucharistic adoration. I couldn’t agree with you more!

Anyway, thank you all for helping to open up my eyes. After reading all of ur posts, it really made me feel a lot better!

God bless you all,

Nathan 🙂
 
Nathan

I will pray for Jesus to heal you of the hurt and damage that has been caused to you by the Priest who sinned against you and against God. You say a similar prayer asking for healing and anyone else who would like to pray for healing for Nathan say a little prayer for him.

I will also say a prayer for that Priest, his agony and regret are his greatest cross.

When we are carrying the heaviest of crosses it is most unlikely that we feel God’s Presence but this is simply because He is so close to us, so intimately and internally united to us, that we do not sense Him. Jesus who is God spoke from the Cross ‘My God, My God, Why have you forsaken Me?’ His own Divinity upheld Him in the Father and by The Power of the Holy Spirit but Jesus’ suffering was so great that He could not even sense the Divinity within Himself, but His last words were ‘Father into Your hands I commit My Spirit’ because Jesus knew that at not one moment is God seperated from the human state no matter how suffering may cloud our perception. We always remain spirit whether we are united to the flesh or not and in remaining spirit we are always intimately united to God.

We are not called to walk by perception we are called to walk by faith. Tonight Nathan I sat in Mass and felt nothing, no faith, no closeness to God, I felt absolutely nothing but this is my purest and closest moment to God because it is precisely then I practise love of God by walking in intangible faith.

You have everything to forgive and nothing to reproach yourself for.

Keep your faith, because love is what endures and love is the fire of faith, not perception and not feelings.

In my heart and prayers
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top