L
lily71
Guest
In June 2010, I lost everything: my job, my fiance, my family (via estrangement due to abuse.) I prayed, and prayed, and prayed. I tried to do good work. I tried to be a good person. I confessed. I attended mass. I applied for an annulment. Nothing changed.
Finally, I feel that after a lot of praying, Our Lady of Perpetual Help, whom I had prayed to, and whose Icon I was blessed by at a Mass, came through. I found a job.
That job moved me to Virginia, where I now live. And it’s wonderful to have a job where I feel appreciated. However, things are far from perfect. I finally fell in love again, but he lives a plane ride away. And, as it turns out, he just learned that his job will not exist in the Fall due to cuts at his university. In addition, my cat, who is truly my best friend and has been for 15 years, has taken ill with kidney disease. He won’t really eat very much, he doesn’t drink very much, and has taken to hiding. I’m so worried I’m going to lose him. And, it’s very, very lonely here.
I’m starting to have some anxiety that I’m about to lose all that matters to me again: my cat and my boyfriend whom I want to marry. (I’m 40. I’ve wanted a family for a long time. I am divorced from a 10 year marriage because my husband would not have a child with me.)
I know this time that my faith won’t last. I have spent so much time on my knees pleading for God’s mercy. Please, ask that He finally grants me peace through His mercy. Right now, I’m so lonely. I feel abandoned, not only by my family, but also by God. I need Him to come through for me this time. I truly do. Because, there’s no point in spending so much time on my knees, otherwise. I’m tired of suffering. I had a difficult life; I finally want peace. And yes, in spite of this, I am well adjusted, have received therapy. I’m now just looking for evidence of His love. I can’t find it. He’s allowed so much to go wrong in spite of fervent, faithful prayer. Am I cursed? Won’t He love me, too?
Finally, I feel that after a lot of praying, Our Lady of Perpetual Help, whom I had prayed to, and whose Icon I was blessed by at a Mass, came through. I found a job.
That job moved me to Virginia, where I now live. And it’s wonderful to have a job where I feel appreciated. However, things are far from perfect. I finally fell in love again, but he lives a plane ride away. And, as it turns out, he just learned that his job will not exist in the Fall due to cuts at his university. In addition, my cat, who is truly my best friend and has been for 15 years, has taken ill with kidney disease. He won’t really eat very much, he doesn’t drink very much, and has taken to hiding. I’m so worried I’m going to lose him. And, it’s very, very lonely here.
I’m starting to have some anxiety that I’m about to lose all that matters to me again: my cat and my boyfriend whom I want to marry. (I’m 40. I’ve wanted a family for a long time. I am divorced from a 10 year marriage because my husband would not have a child with me.)
I know this time that my faith won’t last. I have spent so much time on my knees pleading for God’s mercy. Please, ask that He finally grants me peace through His mercy. Right now, I’m so lonely. I feel abandoned, not only by my family, but also by God. I need Him to come through for me this time. I truly do. Because, there’s no point in spending so much time on my knees, otherwise. I’m tired of suffering. I had a difficult life; I finally want peace. And yes, in spite of this, I am well adjusted, have received therapy. I’m now just looking for evidence of His love. I can’t find it. He’s allowed so much to go wrong in spite of fervent, faithful prayer. Am I cursed? Won’t He love me, too?
