I regret giving up on model railroading. What do you regret?

[The_Reginator]

What do you mean? Are you a man or a woman? If you’re a man, I can understand how you feel as men associate their self-esteem with earning a paycheck. But if you’re a woman, don’t sweat it. I’ve always believed, as I was raised that a man should support his wife. But it sometimes doesn’t turn out so good when your man deserts you. Then you’ve got to figure out what in the world to do. God, though always comes through. Rom. 8:28.

May I ask you WHO has always paid all your bills and how old are you? AND, of course are you a man or woman? Sometimes it is hard to tell here with the names some folks have.

Take Care…

I am a 52 year old man.
The wife has always paid the bills, usually with my pay-cheque. That used to suit me just fine. Then things got complicated. I don’t want to go into any details here but … well … I am not ALLOWED to pay any bills. Apparently I can’t be trusted.

 

[karoleck]

***…So too if we have misused our bodies or made bad choices,we now can use ourselves as “living stones”–“a dwelling place for God”,a temple of The Holy Spirit.

So like St.Paul “I forget the past”;leave the future to God and try to live in the present which in reality is all we have anyway"…***

I really like that idea, I might understand it differently, not being religious and not being roman catholic, but, what a wonderful idea.
Thanks so much for sharing that!!!

Your welcome Phoenixrrt62; naturally these are not my thoughts; but greater minds than myself.Both Augustine and Paul were radical converts to the Catholic Religion;the first adopted a Manichean religious beliefs where satan and God were regarded as coeternal–hence he served them both— which justified his slavery to the sensual life! The latter persecuted christian believers and approved them being rounded up and then stoned to death.—so in a way they both had** big regrets**.But in the end their past bad choices kept them humble and they really appreciated being given a second chance in life.

Even though you may see things from a different point of view,truth is truth whether it comes from a wise person or a simpleton.You like every person on earth have the same desire for inner peace,to love and being loved;to have a reason for living.

Thankfully my own search came to end end when God reached out to me when I was really at my lowest.I hope and pray that you too will one day be able to see clearly the Way,the Truth and the Life, which is Christ .

 

[karoleck]

Just as an addition to the “regret” you made Phoenixrrt62 about stopping the death of your first husband.I just wonder how you could control or stop him from dying.There is only so much you can control the life of another person.Each of us has been given free will and to choose the path that we tread.Even with the best "womans’ intuition ,you cannot really know or control the inner mind of anyone.

The older I get the more I see parents distraught at the choices that their children make–“what more could we have done” they say–“we gave them the best example of Catholic living as best we could” but look ,they are say our childs’ on drugs,drink,sleeping around,in jail ,rejected religion etc,regrets,regrets and regrets.!

But all this proves is that we all are given the God’s gift of free will–in other words God does not ever force His Love and Grace on anyone.When I was brought up a certain amount of fear of God was around;I think that with the revealling of The Divine Mercy to St.Faustina;Christ is showing what God The Father is really like–a God of Mercy and compassion—“slow to anger and rich in Mercy !)” a High Priest who is capable of sharing our weaknesses; was like us in all things,except sin"–" so we can approach the Throne of Grace with great confidence".

Perhaps your regret may well be; that you took on the burden of your husbands death when you would be well have been advised to “Let go and let God” as the saying goes.In other words God is the Master of life and death,we only need to accept His permissive Will! I know it is easier said than done;I can tell from your postings that you have a great capacity and sensitivity to feel and understand the sufferings of others–a fruit of your “regret”.

love and God Bless in Jesus and Mary.

 

[angelic06]

Me, giving up on music as my major.

I played saxophone and sang when I entered college eight years ago. Well, I practiced my university borrowed saxophone on the day of my audition into the school of music, assigned to me on the day of the audition. Naturally, things didn’t go so well. And I wasn’t too interested in the saxophone at all (that was the one my family already owned when I was in 6th grade—it started conking out on me in 8th grade), but in other instruments, so initially I was interested in instrumental music ed, which would have allowed me to study all of the major wind/orchestral instruments (the school I went to required piano as a secondary instrument every year in residence, I think; at least the one I’m at allows people to take two semester units of piano and then two semester units of another instrument(s)). And I tried out for the university mixed choir near the first day of school. I was offered a spot in the men’s choir, which I was not interested in—I wanted to be in the mixed one.

Add to this that I was pre-med, as well as trying to cram everything into the standard four year undergraduate education package.

Well, eight years later, I’m stuck with a BA in psychology awarded last year. If I could do it again (and I knew it would take this long to get a degree), I would study organ, then audition on this instrument to get into the school of music (the one I’m currently at does not permit non-music majors to take private lessons). And maybe carillon bells (none of that here). And maybe a semester of the harp and the double bass while were at it. And yes, I would still be pre-med (I still am). I would spend some time at the astronomical observatory on campus (we don’t have that here either). Finally, spend some time in the water (at least we have the the Guadalupe River nearby). And more time in the library doing some serious literature study (Chaucer, etc.). And finally, I would ditch the psychology—this degree is worthless.

Some day I plan on going back and working on my bachelor in music degree. But the realities of life (debt, family life, etc.) do not always permit us to do what we please. And as my mother always said, we can’t have everything we want, can we?

And finally, and most importantly, I would pray more. I would attend the on campus liturgy of the hours more, and even more importantly, daily Mass more.

 

[angelic06]

As a protestant, some years ago, I entered college intending to major in instrumental music…I love jazz, Gregorian chant, classical, rock, funk and rap (well done, with a good message). Today I sing in the church choir and am thinking about picking up my *trumpet *again.

Your story sounds very similar to mine, including the part about intending on majoring in instrumental music. I started playing the trumpet a little over a year or so ago, then quit because I couldn’t get a good sound after several stabs at it. I’m more interested now in strings, organ, and voice (see my above post). I also sing in my church adult choir (I’m a baritone).

 

[phoenixrrt62]

Just as an addition to the “regret” you made Phoenixrrt62 about stopping the death of your first husband.I just wonder how you could control or stop him from dying.There is only so much you can control the life of another person.Each of us has been given free will and to choose the path that we tread.Even with the best "womans’ intuition ,you cannot really know or control the inner mind of anyone.

The older I get the more I see parents distraught at the choices that their children make–“what more could we have done” they say–“we gave them the best example of Catholic living as best we could” but look ,they are say our childs’ on drugs,drink,sleeping around,in jail ,rejected religion etc,regrets,regrets and regrets.!

But all this proves is that we all are given the God’s gift of free will–in other words God does not ever force His Love and Grace on anyone.When I was brought up a certain amount of fear of God was around;I think that with the revealling of The Divine Mercy to St.Faustina;Christ is showing what God The Father is really like–a God of Mercy and compassion—“slow to anger and rich in Mercy !)” a High Priest who is capable of sharing our weaknesses; was like us in all things,except sin"–" so we can approach the Throne of Grace with great confidence".

Perhaps your regret may well be; that you took on the burden of your husbands death when you would be well have been advised to “Let go and let God” as the saying goes.In other words God is the Master of life and death,we only need to accept His permissive Will! I know it is easier said than done;I can tell from your postings that you have a great capacity and sensitivity to feel and understand the sufferings of others–a fruit of your “regret”.

love and God Bless in Jesus and Mary.

That’s too kind, your words are wise.
Perhaps I should do that, but I keep feeling it was my fault…just…well, long story.
And what’s done is done, can’t go back, sad to say.

 

[leonie]

I regret going to a 4 year college. It was a waste of time and money

I wish I had gone and gotten a 2 year medical field tech or nursing degree. It would have fit into my life better.

I’m encouraging my kids to consider taking a 2 year tech degree–they can always go and get a B.S. later.

 

[Corinne3]

I am a 52 year old man.
The wife has always paid the bills, usually with my pay-cheque. That used to suit me just fine. Then things got complicated. I don’t want to go into any details here but … well … I am not ALLOWED to pay any bills. Apparently I can’t be trusted.

But at least you’re the provider dear. This is awesome!

 

[Corinne3]

Just as an addition to the “regret” you made Phoenixrrt62 about stopping the death of your first husband.I just wonder how you could control or stop him from dying.There is only so much you can control the life of another person.Each of us has been given free will and to choose the path that we tread.Even with the best “womans’ intuition ,you cannot really know or control the inner mind of anyone.
The older I get the more I see parents distraught at the choices that their children make–“what more could we have done” they say–“we gave them the best example of Catholic living as best we could” but look ,they are say our childs’ on drugs,drink,sleeping around,in jail ,rejected religion etc,regrets,regrets and regrets.!
But all this proves is that we all are given the God’s gift of free will–in other words God does not ever force His Love and Grace on anyone.When I was brought up a certain amount of fear of God was around;I think that with the revealling of The Divine Mercy to St.Faustina;Christ is showing what God The Father is really like–a God of Mercy and compassion—“slow to anger and rich in Mercy !)” a High Priest who is capable of sharing our weaknesses; was like us in all things,except sin”–" so we can approach the Throne of Grace with great confidence".
Perhaps your regret may well be; that you took on the burden of your husbands death when you would be well have been advised to “Let go and let God” as the saying goes.In other words God is the Master of life and death,we only need to accept His permissive Will! I know it is easier said than done;I can tell from your postings that you have a great capacity and sensitivity to feel and understand the sufferings of others–a fruit of your “regret”.
love and God Bless in Jesus and Mary.

What a beautiful post. Ditto every word you say!

 

[The_Reginator]

But at least you’re the provider dear. This is awesome!

Thank-you for your kind, supportive words Corinne.
(Unfortunately, at the moment, the provider is the Canadian government – pogie. )
As our St. karoleck reminds us, I need to ‘let go (of my regrets) and let God’.

And for all who have posted here on this thread:

Ave Maria, gratia plena:
Dominus tecum:
benedicta tu in mulieribus,
et benedictus fructus ventris tui Iesus.
Sancta Maria mater Dei,
ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc,
et in hora mortis nostrae. Amen.

 

[creationlover]

So like St.Paul “I forget the past”;leave the future to God and try to live in the present which in reality is all we have anyway"

Thinking about this thread; I confess I have a zillion regrets, but the great thing is, is that God seems to come in my life and perform mini resurrections from my self inflicted “suicides”… I have sinned; God has forgiven, healed and made my life new in so many ways. I ended up in an outpatient mental clinic for depression - but I learned so much about God, life and love I can’t say I regret it. I used to be an avid hiker and runner, but due to an accident I will be on a cane for life… He really does wipe away every tear… If not in this life, at least to some degree, definitely in the next. We all suffer, but our suffering has the potential for so much beauty and dignity. The regrets are there, but so is God in all his wisdom, grandeur and infinite compassion.

 

[creationlover]

Your story sounds very similar to mine, including the part about intending on majoring in instrumental music. I started playing the trumpet a little over a year or so ago, then quit because I couldn’t get a good sound after several stabs at it. I’m more interested now in strings, organ, and voice (see my above post). I also sing in my church adult choir (I’m a baritone).

Keep singing, scatting and crooning… Can you imagine the world without music? If you are the imaginative type, just think of living 3 days (to include a Sunday) without music. It would be worse than a world with no color…

 

[creationlover]

So what are you waiting for? Pick up that trumpet!
It’s coming…

 

[Monte_RCMS]

I regret not living my life to the fullest when I was young, instead of spending all my time at work. That "I gotta work at all times" attitude cost me very dearly, and I still shed hot tears for that attitude and what it cost me today.

I regret not purchasing that Nightmist Blue 1966 Mustang GT 2+2 fastback that I had assembled so carefully in my dreams, instead of settling for that mundane Galaxie sedan.

Or, perhaps I should have remained in the military… I would have been much more physically and financially secure than I am today.

I should have obeyed my medical advice back in February, 1994 and stayed home from work that day and called in sick (like I was) instead off being so conscientious. Going in to work that day cost me the “comfortable” (but not extravagant) retirement I had planned and worked for.

Viewing my life in the rear-view mirrors is a sad and depressing pastime… looking at the balance, I see many more regrets than rejoicings.

Bad idea to look back.

Any change, however small, would totally transform the remainder of our lives.

Staying in the military? I cannot tell you how many of my friends stayed in only to quit after 15 years. Had they done the extra five years, they would have had a pension, and yet they could not bring themselves to hang in there. I don’t know all of the details for their decisions. There have been numerous missions that were compromised by people [so-called REMF’s] who just had to commit acts of sabotage by demanding paperwork that was utterly inappropriate, for example, or simply not required … but they insisted. One too many of those will push dedicated patriots out. Years later I would come across documentation of blown missions in which outright treason had been committed.

I was present at one “ceremony” in which a senior commander publicly apologized for inadvertently harming junior officers with reviews that were accurate but did not reflect the “grade inflation” that had taken place. So, these men, accomplished and skillful pilots, were in shock at being forced to resign after having been passed over for promotion. He went into a great deal of detail.

You just don’t know and can’t know.

Sometimes, the course we took preserved us from sins (or from greater sins) or from temptations that might have overwhelmed us or the course provided some education and knowledge that we might not otherwise have had.

One day I was walking down the street and “for no particular reason” went into a Catholic church and found that the pastor had placed some articles out for people to take. They were about … Catholic Answers!

There is an almost parallel thread to this one; about envy. And one poster’s daughter said that someone with everything had divorced his wife and remarried – so that envied person had NOTHING worth emulating or being envious about.

Some advice I have heard, which with some thought is helpful: “Bloom where you are planted”.

Perfection is only achievable in the next life.

In the meanwhile, love a lot, and by love, I mean … help others.

Two things matter: dying in the state of grace and helping others to reach and stay in the state of grace.

Trust me: at my last judgement, Jesus, the Judge, is NOT going to ask me how I made out with getting the curve alignment just right on my train layout. And He will NOT ask what kind of car I drove 30 years ago.

But, He may be concerned about who I have helped.

 

[karoleck]

Good post Monte RCMS;yes what seems like a chance coincidences in our livesis the intervention of God.In the case of bad choices Gods’ Will is pervissive–a lot of times to bring greater good “where evil abounds,grace abounds even more” ( or something like that!!) and where we make good choices then Gods’ active Will is being done.

I know the The Reginator feels that not being in control of paying bills is a downer–let me assure you that I do not get a “kick” out of doing it!! If I had someone doing it for me I would not miss it at all! There is a danger that we define ourselves on what we do–but as you remind us Monte the only real failure in life is to loose ones soul!! I must be the only sinner in the parish as I was the only one who went to confess–I wish I too could join the “holy elect”!:getholy:

 

[The_Reginator]

Good post Monte RCMS;**yes what seems like a chance coincidences in our livesis the intervention of God.In the case of bad choices Gods’ Will is pervissive–a lot of times to bring greater good “where evil abounds,grace abounds even more” **( or something like that!!) and where we make good choices then Gods’ active Will is being done.

I know the The Reginator feels that not being in control of paying bills is a downer–let me assure you that I do not get a “kick” out of doing it!! If I had someone doing it for me I would not miss it at all! There is a danger that we define ourselves on what we do–but as you remind us Monte the only real failure in life is to loose ones soul!! I must be the only sinner in the parish as I was the only one who went to confess–I wish I too could join the “holy elect”!:getholy:

This thread keeps reminding me of a fantastic book I picked up a year of two ago:
Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence.
It appears that the book can be read online. I haven’t checked it out as I have a real live paper copy.
This great little book stresses that all things either come from God or are allowed by God. All for the good of our immortal souls.
I strongly recommend it. I’ve even purchased extra copies for friends and family.

 

[Monte_RCMS]

There is one thing I admire about devout Muslims: they pray publicly FIVE times a day.

They pray KNEELING and bowing and touching their heads to the ground in submission to God’s will.

Maybe when the Catholic Church gets its new liturgical act together, we can provide some encouragement to private prayer.

We used to have the morning and night prayers and prayers at each meal: let’s see: that makes FIVE times a day.

 

[karoleck]

This thread keeps reminding me of a fantastic book I picked up a year of two ago:
Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence.
It appears that the book can be read online. I haven’t checked it out as I have a real live paper copy.
This great little book stresses that all things either come from God or are allowed by God. All for the good of our immortal souls.
I strongly recommend it. I’ve even purchased extra copies for friends and family.

That indeed is a great book,I intend to read a section of it on-line each day;the first one I did just before.Here is just a short quote from it that basically sets the theme of the book.

“Let us never then attribute our losses, our disappointments, our afflictions, our humiliations to the devil or to men, but to God as their real source. “To act otherwise” says St. Dorothy, “would be to do the same as a dog who vents his anger on the stone instead of putting the blame on the hand that threw it at him.” So let us be careful not to say ‘So-and-so is the cause of my misfortune.’ Your misfortunes are the work not of this or that person but of God. And what should give you reassurance is that God, the sovereign good, is guided in all His actions by His most profound wisdom for holy and supernatural purposes.”

I was thinking about a person who has given up a belief in an all Good,Loving God.Or never had the gift of Faith—well since they cannot blame God; they will have no other choice but to implode (they blame themselves) or explode (blaming others).In both cases they will carry regrets,guilt etc.where as a believer can say this prayer that St,Charles Boromeo used to pray when struck by the Hand of God --"Yes Lord,I will this all my heart, for so it seems good in Your Sight!.Amen.

Thank you The Reginator for your wise link!

 

[karoleck]

There is one thing I admire about devout Muslims: they pray publicly FIVE times a day.

They pray KNEELING and bowing and touching their heads to the ground in submission to God’s will.

Maybe when the Catholic Church gets its new liturgical act together, we can provide some encouragement to private prayer.

We used to have the morning and night prayers and prayers at each meal: let’s see: that makes FIVE times a day.

If I can make one more regret is that I never knew the power that comes with the total consecration on my life to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and to the Immaculate Heart of Mary.

I was reminded very strongly of this after hearing a talk by John Rick Miller,here is a link on utube,do not be put off by the spanish beginning,John talks about his amazing journey-well worth the effort.Your above post reminded me that this consecration to the Two Hearts will bring on your prayer wish.Sir John Rick Miller has other utube talks also,a very spirit filled person!

youtube.com/watch?v=1HtYKiIgI8o&feature=related

 

[creationlover]

Bad idea to look back.

*Any change, however small, would totally transform the remainder of our lives.

Staying in the military? I cannot tell you how many of my friends stayed in only to quit after 15 years. Had they done the extra five years, they would have had a pension, and yet they could not bring themselves to hang in there. I don’t know all of the details for their decisions. There have been numerous missions that were compromised by people [so-called REMF’s] who just had to commit acts of sabotage by demanding paperwork that was utterly inappropriate, for example, or simply not required … but they insisted. One too many of those will push dedicated patriots out. Years later I would come across documentation of blown missions in which outright treason had been committed.

You just don’t know and can’t know.

Some advice I have heard, which with some thought is helpful: “Bloom where you are planted”.

Perfection is only achievable in the next life.*
The military can be a tough road, yet honorable. I just retired (medical retirement). Praise God, I have a pension that will take care of my family for the rest of my life. I will confess - why did I get out? Jacked up knee and depression. Why depression? I am a former military chaplain who became Catholic. As a chaplain, we were not trained to lead in the tough situations as line officers are. My training and mindset as a chaplain did not prepare me for the situations in which I was involved. I hung in there, but over time my men lost respect for me (they liked me as a person; but a chaplain I was, a chaplain I always will be.)

Can you imagine the chaplain from the old MASH TV series trying to be a line-officer leader? Well to some degree, that was me. ( I can smile now, it was horrific at the time.)

After messing up my knee in a motorcycle accident and emotionally spiraling downhill from an awful work environment in which I was partly guilty for (certainly not entirely), I ended up in a outpatient mental clinic. My career was fried.

I ended up medically retired with 18 years 10 months. whew… I could have lost everything… God was good…

Should I have left the military when I walked away from the chaplaincy? If I had to do it over, I would say yes, for the sake of those I led, my family and myself. My commanders loved my work as a chaplain and wanted to help me save my 13 year career, at the time.

I have learned a lot about integrity, making tough sound decisions, and how to lead.

Sometimes, God will allow us to be in humiliating situations to make us better people. I think, anyway…