I Ripped My Pants (at Mass)

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TimothyH

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It happened at Mass last night.

I have been dealing with an extremely difficult person at work - God’s way of teaching me to bear with the faults of others, as well as family issues, etc. Anyway, I was having a hectic day. Thursday nights I am sacristan for Mass and then altar server for a Novena to St. Jude which includes Benediction of the Blessed Sacrament. I arrived later than I like and didn’t get to pray.

Everything went well until Father walked to the ambo during the penitential rite, pulled out the lighter we keep there, and lit the altar candles. I had completely forgot to light the candles.

Father started dressing the altar, turns to me and says, “Tim, will you get me some purificators?” Yep, I forgot those too. There were none in the vestry so I had to go all the way to our other vestry by the chapel to get some and got back in time for the Sanctus, handed them to Father and then knelt.

I almost missed ringing the second bell at the consecration. I rang the first bell fine, zoned out and missed the second bell. Doh!

And here is the best part….

During the benediction, Father exposed the Blessed Sacrament and as everyone was singing O Salutaris I stood to get the Thurible for Father. I felt my pants leg get caught on the heel of my shoe as I stood and felt the seat of my pants let go. RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!!! Good thing I was wearing a cassock and surpice.



So I’m standing there singing O Salutaris with a giant hole in my pants under my cassock. I’m half horrified at the thought of my pants being ripped and half trying not to laugh at the thought of the Spongebob Squarepants “I Ripped My Pants” episode.

I apologized to Father about the candles and purificators later in the vestry (still wearing the cassock) and he was most gracious, but I’m sad now. These were my altar server pants for four years. They were worn threadbare but had a permanent smell of incense that wouldn’t wash out. There was even a “My Pants Smell Like Incense” thread. My buddy says that I should cut out the worn knees as relics but something about venerating my pants doesn’t seem right.

Anyway, I’m going to miss those pants. They were like a friend who shared all the special liturgical moments with me. Black Dockers martyred for Jesus.

-Tim-
 
I’m sorry about your pants, but your story is hilarious! You have a real gift of writing-I almost felt like I was there with you. Sometimes serving at church is a real adventure! 🙂
 
Holy pants! Rend your heart and not your garments!

It happened to me in a church once, but I was at work. I was an electrician aiming lights we had just installed toward the altar at an Episcopal church. The minister, architect, and designers were all directing me as I stood high on a scaffold, with a big hole at the crotch of my jeans! The rest of the crew got a good laugh out of it, but the officials seemed to (politely) ignore it.

Now, ripped jeans are all in fashion, and all the hipsters let their underwear show with pride (or at least no shame).
 
christofirst said:
Holy pants! ** Rend your heart and not your garments!**

It happened to me in a church once, but I was at work. I was an electrician aiming lights we had just installed toward the altar at an Episcopal church. The minister, architect, and designers were all directing me as I stood high on a scaffold, with a big hole at the crotch of my jeans! The rest of the crew got a good laugh out of it, but the officials seemed to (politely) ignore it.

Now, ripped jeans are all in fashion, and all the hipsters let their underwear show with pride (or at least no shame).
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:rotfl:
 
When I first saw the title of this I laughed pretty hard. Thank heavens you were wearing that cassock! :rotfl:
 
I was thinking the whole time, “I hope he was wearing a cassock!”
 
Thank you for that story Tim! Humor is a gift and we all need it!
 
The Hol(e)y Pants. A gift from above as a reminder of the Temple curtain that was torn in half, I’m sure of it! 😃
 
:rotfl:
TimothyH said:
:rotfl:
Click to expand...
:D:bounce::whacky::okpeople: that is hilarious!

(there is something to clothing and objects coming into contact or close proximity to the Holy Spirit, God’s Presence,…to ‘soak up’ some of that. I wouldn’t throw the pants out.
Sleep with them under your pillow. smile)

ie. cloths that were kept close to Paul’s body were sent to people who were sick, and they received healing. check it out

Even though it has a funny side,…your pants were cloth present beside Holy things happening, many times over.
 
If the things at mass were just symbols of something Holy,…
then things present, like cloth, don’t mean anything, however,…
if God is present and nearby, then things like cloth and items
may be participating in Him in ways we don’t know.
 
hahahhahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Dang, that’s quite the rip.

“I Ripped My Pants at Mass and Other Hilarious stories from CAF”

Coming soon to a bookstore near you…

( I just bought the movie rights.)
 
Maybe he could cut them up and sell them online like those cloths some of the TV preachers sell (give for donations) that touched something that touched something that was holy and now heals people.

Since the pants aren’t relics, it wouldn’t be simony.
 
Black Dockers? Those things look more like a greenish brown at this point.

They had a good run.
 
Do you have TLM High Masses on random weekdays in your area, or was it just for Corpus Christi?

If it’s the former, I am very jealous.
 
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