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Detroit_Sue
Guest
I’ve read about him. Wasn’t he Julie’s OB? Thanks for the link - I’ll have Lou call him.
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chicago
Guest
Pastors typically don’t want to “hurt the feelings” of good people who are offering their time and talents. Perhaps, however, he could be convinced to keep them on, but get them better training in recognizing the results of the responses and how the message needs to be better framed.
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Corki
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LittleDeb
Guest
And on the sad flip side… My husband and I were told to rewrite our NFP talk for the marriage prep weekend. The leaders told us to focus only on the “how its good for our marriage.” We were told to take out references to Church teaching, specifically, Humnae Vitae. They also wanted us to remove the ‘how’ it works part!! They said we could leave all the stats on effectiveness on avoiding. They seem to want us to present it as some weird form of contraception alternative.
They told us that we were not reaching the couples where one is nominal Catholic and the other a non-Catholic. I sat there thinking, “Well, duh!” I really didn’t think we would, but we at least had mentioned the term enough to plant a seed.
Please pray for us…they want some changes already by this Saturday. They called Monday night.
They told us that we were not reaching the couples where one is nominal Catholic and the other a non-Catholic. I sat there thinking, “Well, duh!” I really didn’t think we would, but we at least had mentioned the term enough to plant a seed.
Please pray for us…they want some changes already by this Saturday. They called Monday night.
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masondoggy
Guest
That is just ridiculous!
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BillP
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When my wife and I were doing the pre-Cana, the couple doing the NFP module had 4 unplanned children while using NFP.
Want to make any bets on how effective they were?
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stbruno
Guest
Several things you could do. Get a good video series perhaps through the Couple to couple league to be used during the instruction, Offer also good texts that will explain it clearly with perhaps worksheets better. Find out information from local hospitals and offer the information in the form of a handout to the couples as a resource for using it.
With all things pray, pray and pray some more. Especially when it comes to dealing with your pastor. Ask the Blessed Mother to intercede…Remember the prayer the Memorare…She will never abandon you in your efforts.
God bless you
With all things pray, pray and pray some more. Especially when it comes to dealing with your pastor. Ask the Blessed Mother to intercede…Remember the prayer the Memorare…She will never abandon you in your efforts.
God bless you
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gardenswithkids
Guest
This class is just sowing seeds that may or may not take root on fertile soil. The couple that enters marriage planning to contracept may have 7 children before their 17th anniversary.
Also, consider your audience. NFP for the purposes of avoiding children requires abstinence–that’s not a great selling point to engaged couples. They don’t want to abstain on their honeymoon.
Don’t preach about abstinance to the soon to be married; teach them how to make babies–through making love. That might hold their interest.Okay, I’ll write it again, as I often write it on this forum: what really got through to me was the church teaching about the blessing of children. NFP can be used for valid reasons, but these couples should be informed that the purpose of marriage is to create children. MATRImony- the sacrament of motherhood. They are entering marriage to create a family–starting as husband and wife, and likely children will follow. Children are the supreme gift of marriage. Encourage them to place “children” on their bridal registry list for God.
While you encounter Catholic couples who wish to contracept, those very same people also likely wish to have children eventually. Sadly, some people who contracept find out later that they are infertile–remind them of that! NFP can also help with infertility problems. Also mention to them about some couples who have “honeymoon babies” that sometimes go on trying to have more children but never do. The decision to post-pone children might mean they don’t have any children ever.
Teach them the truth that their hearts already know: that marriage creates family and life springs forth from love.
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LittleDeb
Guest
Excellent post, Gardenswithkids!This class is just sowing seeds that may or may not take root on fertile soil. The couple that enters marriage planning to contracept may have 7 children before their 17th anniversary.
Also, consider your audience. NFP for the purposes of avoiding children requires abstinence–that’s not a great selling point to engaged couples. They don’t want to abstain on their honeymoon.
Okay, I’ll write it again, as I often write it on this forum: what really got through to me was the church teaching about the blessing of children. NFP can be used for valid reasons, but these couples should be informed that the purpose of marriage is to create children. MATRImony- the sacrament of motherhood. They are entering marriage to create a family–starting as husband and wife, and likely children will follow. Children are the supreme gift of marriage. Encourage them to place “children” on their bridal registry list for God.
While you encounter Catholic couples who wish to contracept, those very same people also likely wish to have children eventually. Sadly, some people who contracept find out later that they are infertile–remind them of that! NFP can also help with infertility problems. Also mention to them about some couples who have “honeymoon babies” that sometimes go on trying to have more children but never do. The decision to post-pone children might mean they don’t have any children ever.
Teach them the truth that their hearts already know: that marriage creates family and life springs forth from love.
Exactly what I needed to read before our talk on Saturday. Thanks!!
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cecilia97
Guest
That describes word-for-word the NFP “training” my ex and I received. We ended up contracepting and I regret it.
I’m not saying 100% that different training would have changed our minds, but it couldn’t have made things worse.
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leonie
Guest
God Bless You. I am praying that someone in your group asks bunches of questions that lead to you putting all the info back in.
Can you hand out Contraception: Why Not tapes? Or, even give out a list of NFP websites.
I would take this issue to my pastor. From what I’ve read, premarital impurity is not a impediment to marriage, but a an intention to contracept after marriage could be an impediment.
Familaris Consortio JPII
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LittleDeb
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So we did our new talk tonight. It went really well. Thank you to the OP for this thread. Some things here truly inspired me. They asked for humor when I rewrote the new talk. So we used a LOT of humor…all at contraception’s expense. We had people laughing at the absurdity of contraception. It was great. We got to emphasize how NFP is about the joy of* having* children, not about avoiding them.
One big laugh we got from, “…NFP is really spontaneous. Condoms and camping don’t mix.”
Another huge laugh from, “I’m a chef. I use gloves to protect my hands. That thin layer of protection keeps jalapeno oil off my skin. I don’t need that kind of protection from my wife. Everything she’s got, I like. Oh and a note to you guys. Never slice a jalapeno without gloves and then go use the restroom. You’ll regret it for hours.”
There was another section comparing hormonal contraception to wiring my motor mouth shut. It got a decent laugh.
We got to end on a really good note. The deacon asked us about our family. (He already knew what we were going to say.) We shared that we had abstained during fertility for a year and a half while our son was sick and we were paying medical bills. I got to say, “He’s better now, and we are happy to say that I am six weeks pregnant.” We got a sweet ‘awww’ at the end.
Thanks to all who prayed and thanks again OP. Something good came from your husband’s struggles. I will be praying for him and his classes.
One big laugh we got from, “…NFP is really spontaneous. Condoms and camping don’t mix.”
Another huge laugh from, “I’m a chef. I use gloves to protect my hands. That thin layer of protection keeps jalapeno oil off my skin. I don’t need that kind of protection from my wife. Everything she’s got, I like. Oh and a note to you guys. Never slice a jalapeno without gloves and then go use the restroom. You’ll regret it for hours.”
There was another section comparing hormonal contraception to wiring my motor mouth shut. It got a decent laugh.
We got to end on a really good note. The deacon asked us about our family. (He already knew what we were going to say.) We shared that we had abstained during fertility for a year and a half while our son was sick and we were paying medical bills. I got to say, “He’s better now, and we are happy to say that I am six weeks pregnant.” We got a sweet ‘awww’ at the end.
Thanks to all who prayed and thanks again OP. Something good came from your husband’s struggles. I will be praying for him and his classes.
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LittleDeb
Guest
Sorry, ran out time the other day to respond to this part, then I forgot…
Yep we hand out a TON of stuff. Transcript of ‘contraception, why not,’ a few articles from This Rock here at CA. Lots of stuff from CCL on how the Pill really works and the dangers of vasectomy and such. And I have a list of my favorite web references with our email address on it.
At first the couple who asked us to change the talk wanted us to just leave the stuff up front for people to take, but I put my foot down. I said that handing it out in packs and letting people take what they want was more effective. They didn’t have to be embarassed to walk up and get it. The one about the Pill goes like hotcakes since I made it anonymous.
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gardenswithkids
Guest
Thanks for sharing how your class went last night. I wondered about it and am glad you updated us. I saw you post on another thread and thought of asking you, but decided to check this thread first. It sounds like you did a great job! Getting couple to laugh at the ridiculous nature of contraception sounds like a way to get through to them.
Awww! Congratulations!
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