I see bullies

[Prodigal_40s]

I don’t know about you but bullies have been the bane of my life. They’re everywhere, work, on the street, cafes, restaurants, airports etc. even internet forums. What irks me most is that empathy becomes impossible when people behave in a way that you can’t even comprehend. Being a single guy, the single gangs of women really focus energy on making lonely males uncomfortable. Of course, that’s just an example. Workplaces consist of groups of people who try and put people down but the consolation and it’s pretty obvious is that 98% of the time, these are the least knowledgeable and ignorant people.
I know that prayer is the answer to everything and even when the results aren’t clear, that’s what I know I should do. However God wants us all to be pragmatic. I know I can’t react. I know I should ignore these people but what would you do to make the day bearable.

 

[Julia_Mae]

However God wants us all to be pragmatic.

He does? I never heard that before.

If your life is unbearable, you need to seek some professional help to gain more coping mechanisms.

If you are being harassed at work, you can try talking to HR or the boss.

If trying to meet a woman, try an online site so you can just chat first.

If this happens everywhere all the time, see my first suggestion.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

If you seem to have problems with everyone everywhere you go the first thing to do is realize that the problem isn’t everybody else.

How do you treat people? How do you talk to them? What’s your attitude like? Are you critical? Do you hold back? Do you look down on others? Are you friendly? Just think about all of that. The way you talk about others tells me that you are pretty cynical and maybe even at times paranoid. (Women are out to make you feel bad because you’re single?)

 

[Snowwhite16]

I understand what it is that you are saying. I really do. And I am sorry you are going thru this.

Walking in the grocery store, people look unhappy and are rude. It really is just a box of Mac and Cheeze.
Eating out, everyone has that me first and only ME attitude. Driving is crazy too. In some work places people vie for higher positions or gossip so much that your eyes can roll so far out of your head it is impossible to find them.

. There isnt a lot anyone can do with John Q public who is down right rude, no manners and very poor upbringings. Also at work, well you learn to stay clear of people who are putting others down and walk away. Even if that means you are alone. Surely there must be one person who feels the same way that you do it might surprise you many feel the same.

As far as empathy goes, who said that you had to show empathy for those who treat you or others wrong. You dont. We are not wired to be someone elses door mats and yet for some odd reason if we say we are good religious people, some people question themselves for NOT being that door mat or sticking up to for yourself and bullies as you called it.

If I were in your shoes and their was a time that I was …I would change the people that I hung out with and surround myself with those who were of my mind set, morals and upbringing.
It is far better to be in company with 1 wonderful person then 100 who are mean.

 

[Allegra]

One is always going to find people who are out to bring other people down, however, if all you see is nothing but bullies, the problem might be that you are oversensitive and assuming that others don’t like you when that might not be the case at all.

 

[Prodigal_40s]

I understand what it is that you are saying. I really do. And I am sorry you are going thru this.

Walking in the grocery store, people look unhappy and are rude. It really is just a box of Mac and Cheeze.
Eating out, everyone has that me first and only ME attitude. Driving is crazy too. In some work places people vie for higher positions or gossip so much that your eyes can roll so far out of your head it is impossible to find them.

. There isnt a lot anyone can do with John Q public who is down right rude, no manners and very poor upbringings. Also at work, well you learn to stay clear of people who are putting others down and walk away. Even if that means you are alone. Surely there must be one person who feels the same way that you do it might surprise you many feel the same.

As far as empathy goes, who said that you had to show empathy for those who treat you or others wrong. You dont. We are not wired to be someone elses door mats and yet for some odd reason if we say we are good religious people, some people question themselves for NOT being that door mat or sticking up to for yourself and bullies as you called it.

If I were in your shoes and their was a time that I was …I would change the people that I hung out with and surround myself with those who were of my mind set, morals and upbringing.
It is far better to be in company with 1 wonderful person then 100 who are mean.

Thanks Snowwhite. I would guess that by the words used by BlueEyedLady, that person exhibits the type of behaviour that causes me concern. Possibly guilt?
I do appreciate your comments and the other poster. It’s incredible how your post can be misinterpreted but the bully doesn’t seem to think

 

[Cariethra]

Bullies are annoying, and being bullied is hard.

What I’ve learned is to ignore comments that are false. Admit those that are true, flat out, no explanation. Report any physical or sexual abuse.

I try to look for a good quality in people, even those I can’t stand.

Try thinking back to some of the events that you were thinking of when you posted. What happened? What did they do? What did you do? What could you have done differently? Was it avoidable? Where exactly did the issue arise?

By asking yourself these questions you’ll be able to make a game plan of sorts for the next time you find yourself in a similar situation.

 

[Snowwhite16]

Thanks Snowwhite. I would guess that by the words used by BlueEyedLady, that person exhibits the type of behaviour that causes me concern. Possibly guilt?
I do appreciate your comments and the other poster. It’s incredible how your post can be misinterpreted but the bully doesn’t seem to think

You are very welcome. In my own personal experience with those who are bullies, you hit the nail on the head, “A bully doenst seem to think that they are hurting others”. That is what makes them bullies. They dont think, frankly nor do they care, it is more about them and making themselves feel Bigger, Meaner and more in control. When in fact at their core, they are out of control.

You are very transparent and honest about your concerns and I tip my hat to you. Over coming Personal guilt and questioning of ones self, when in fact (I use the word fact) someone else hurt you or bullied you is a up high climb that you want to take.

It is hard to learn to not take on another persons poor actions.
Remember we are all given free will. We are not given another persons free will, only our own.