I Seriously Need Help in an Important, Physically Personal Area of my Life

[Mr_Friscus]

So I declared my intention of celebacy on June 23rd, and gave my first Confession in emergency, offered to me by the Father at my church, to begin my conversion, which has not been fully implemented.

I had no troubles the first three weeks. However, the past week has been agonizing.

I fell into temptation via Masterbation on Tuesday, July 14th. I flocked to my Preist, angry with myself and disappointed. He heard my Confession.

Then, the past two days occurred. I’ve been attacked by massive psychological and hormonal impulses of sex. It’s the only thing I can thing about, I can nearly feel the pain of the lust. I committed the sin of masterbation yesterday afternoon, and again this afternoon. I feel like I’m coming undone…

I will say this… every time I’ve given in, I’ve corrected myself as far as something that incites the behavior.

• I used to be on POF.com, a free online dating site, and would meet up with girls there that would often lead to sexual encounters eventually. Well, dumb ol’ me thought he could just look for women who were exclusively Catholic on the site, and initally, that’s what I did. However, I didn’t forsee the connection that had been made subconsciously as far as my participation in such actions on the particular website. The search for women on POF.com was spiking my brain with pleasures of “the hunt”, “the chase” and connecting the site mentally with the act of sex, or the thought of sexual desire. I realized this. Thus, yesterday, I deleted my profile on POF.
• Now today. This will appear mind-numbingly dim-witted while writing this, as in it is entirely illogical. But, that’s how sin can wind us, and lead us astray, right? Anyways, while I deleted my Profile on POF.com, I was still chatting with a few women from the site (real smart, right?). Anyways, for some reason, a conversation with one woman, even without overly raunchy talk, just spiked this pleasurable obsession in my head once again. I knew this convo was providing this unhealthy lust, but I couldn’t put the phone down. I fought the raging urge inside me for an hour but gave in ultimately, to my disgrace. After I committed my sin, which was literally 10 minutes ago, I told this woman how I have nothing of value to offer at this time, that I’m ceasing contact, and wish her the best of luck in her search.

So, once again, I have mortal sin hanging over my soul. I also have a trend starting, and in the opposite direction in which I would hope. There are a few life situations that have changed recently for me, which could explain the sudden rush

• I stopped talking to a woman in my life, but this one was entirely on board with being celebate, as she was 100%. She was also a devout Catholic. We were always talking to each other, but also supporting one another by sharing this “burden” (as deemed by society). I’ve read that sex addictive tendencies are often brought on by being lonely or lacking support. I have to consider that her being out of life knocked out a support structure that might have aided me during my intial success.
• I’ve had to go off a medication that I’ve been on for years due to liver issues. The medication is called “Strattera”, and it provides norepinephrine support for focus (a mild form of Adderoll without near the stimulant or addictive effects). Going off of this medication has withdrawal effects such as anxiety, mental fog, confusion, slight depression, and fatigue. It’s possible my body could be pushing the sexual part of my body to make up for the loss in other areas.

In my opinion, it’s probably a cocktail of all of these pressures being concocted into a brew of sin. Satan attacking me during this progressive spiritual time + losing support and social behavior + major changes in medicine…

I’m not making excuses. I sinned, mortally. I offered my contrition to the Lord, and will be flocking to my preist yet again for Confession. I’ve already begun to look into sex addiction support services.

I just need to talk with people about it. I know I’m not special here in my country of America. Masterbation has become an epidemic here. So many men struggle with this. However, sometimes words of wisdom, and even ideas or methods can be helpful. I just need to be proactive. My soul is on the line here.

What do you guys think after reading my “story”?

 

[Smfm]

So, once again, I have mortal sin hanging over my soul

Three conditions for mortal sin

There are three conditions that make an act a mortal sin:

An act of grave matter that is…
Committed with full knowledge and…
Deliberate consent.

 

[Jelrak_TB]

The brain is often stimulated by novelty, incomplete information, or that which might be forbidden. It might appear that in seemingly denying yourself access to your sexuality you have now raised the opportunity for your mind to consider a whole host of activities as highly stimulating whereas before they may simply have been part of the everyday.

To decrease sexual tensions it might be helpful to make a gradual association of such impulses with something entirely outside the normal scope of your regular activities.

Further, it might be helpful to have a diversionary tactic ready to hand during times of trial. Something as simple as a picture of Mary (or your mother, for that matter), to something as elaborate as the Summa Theologica by your bedside (or wherever you typically end up) might serve to countermand your drive. Consider also posting a phone number of someone you may wish to call who in no way excites in you any sexual feelings whatever when the beginning of the urges occur.

Music can also lend a hand by providing an alternate focus. Simply recognize the symptoms early and provide yourself with alternate activities to drive out the habits.

Naturally one question I have is whether you might be preparing for the priesthood or are simply doing this in a lay capacity?

 

[ChibiViolet]

Praying for you…

 

[Mr_Friscus]

Three conditions for mortal sin

There are three conditions that make an act a mortal sin:

An act of grave matter that is…
Committed with full knowledge and…
Deliberate consent.

Masterbation certainly meets this criteria, does it not?

 

[Mr_Friscus]

Naturally one question I have is whether you might be preparing for the priesthood or are simply doing this in a lay capacity?

My father is a minister, my brother a theologian… it’s in my family. I can’t say I haven’t considered it, but even if it were to happen, it’s down the road.

As of now, I’m in lay capacity. From what I gather, as far as the Catholic beliefs are concerned, masterbation is a serious matter, no matter how accepted it is in society.

 

[Elizium23]

Masterbation certainly meets this criteria, does it not?

Since you are describing utterly compulsive tendencies like an addiction, the “full consent of the will” condition may not apply for you. But the only person who can tell you that for sure is your confessor.

 

[Mr_Friscus]

Since you are describing utterly compulsive tendencies like an addiction, the “full consent of the will” condition may not apply for you. But the only person who can tell you that for sure is your confessor.

I have read as such. As we know it, mental and physical condition can come into play when judgement comes about.

However, I don’t think I can rely on such a condition to explain away my sin, can I? Shouldn’t I have to fully intend not to partake, thus being in full combatance with this sin?

The only thing the “condition” consideration, as far as going forward, could do is feed my weak human nature some ammunition in rationalization… yuck LOL

 

[dusk_wind]

Mr. Friscus,

Through the sacraments, we encounter Jesus in a powerful way and receive the graces necessary to be virtuous. Therefore, my suggestion is that you make frequent use of the sacraments of confession and holy communion.

Go to confession every week. As a matter of fact, until you conquer this sin, I would practically live in the confessional. Do what St. Therese of Lisieux recommends, which is to receive holy communion as frequently as possible - every morning if you can. Meditate on 1 John 4:4 which says, “Greater is he that is in me, than he that is in the world.” I suggested this verse because you will never conquer this vice on your own strength. This is a supernatural attack, therefore you must take a supernatural approach. Otherwise, you’ll just continue to be stuck in a vicious cycle.

Lustful thoughts are like birds. You can’t help if one lands on your head from time to time. But you can prevent it from building a nest there. When you find yourself inadvertently entertaining a lustful thought, banish it immediately. Also, these thoughts are most likely the body’s way of telling you that you’re ready for marriage and children. Talk to God regularly about this, and ask him to reveal to you your future spouse.

Most importantly you must be consistent. It might take a year to conquer this sin, or it might take three. Be stubborn in the Lord. If anything, take comfort in the thought that at least your conscience is telling you that what you are doing is wrong, and that you are trying to fix it. This is a good sign and I’m sure God is pleased with that. Most people don’t care and even think it’s good for them, so don’t lose heart. I will keep you in my prayers.

May the peace of Christ that surpasses all understanding be with you.

 

[Antegin]

Q: Are you a practicing Catholic?
A: Naw, I got good at it.

They call it ‘‘practicing’’ because it’s two steps forward, one step back. To get anywhere, you have to persist.

 

[Mr_Friscus]

Q: Are you a practicing Catholic?
A: Naw, I got good at it.

They call it ‘‘practicing’’ because it’s two steps forward, one step back. To get anywhere, you have to persist.

Thank you for those words. So simple, but easily forgotten.

 

[Mr_Friscus]

Mr. Friscus,

Through the sacraments, we encounter Jesus in a powerful way and receive the graces necessary to be virtuous. Therefore, my suggestion is that you make frequent use of the sacraments of confession and holy communion.

Go to confession every week. As a matter of fact, until you conquer this sin, I would practically live in the confessional. Do what St. Therese of Lisieux recommends, which is to receive holy communion as frequently as possible - every morning if you can. Meditate on 1 John 4:4 which says, “Greater is he that is in me, than he that is in the world.” I suggested this verse because you will never conquer this vice on your own strength. This is a supernatural attack, therefore you must take a supernatural approach. Otherwise, you’ll just continue to be stuck in a vicious cycle.

Lustful thoughts are like birds. You can’t help if one lands on your head from time to time. But you can prevent it from building a nest there. When you find yourself inadvertently entertaining a lustful thought, banish it immediately. Also, these thoughts are most likely the body’s way of telling you that you’re ready for marriage and children. Talk to God regularly about this, and ask him to reveal to you your future spouse.

Most importantly you must be consistent. It might take a year to conquer this sin, or it might take three. Be stubborn in the Lord. If anything, take comfort in the thought that at least your conscience is telling you that what you are doing is wrong, and that you are trying to fix it. This is a good sign and I’m sure God is pleased with that. Most people don’t care and even think it’s good for them, so don’t lose heart. I will keep you in my prayers.

May the peace of Christ that surpasses all understanding be with you.

I went to Confession today. I worked my job today. I’m off that horrible website. I feel stronger.

One day at a time. I’m angry at my failures, but I’m happy and thankful for God’s grace.

Thank you for your prayers.

 

[InThePew]

First things first - as dusk_wind says, go to confession and keep going back no matter how often or how many times it takes. Maintaining an open relationship with God is important to help you in your struggles. Don’t get caught up in the degree of seriousness or responsibility surrounding your actions - be honest with yourself and with God - but it’s good that you’re working to identify the triggers.

The other thing which might help is this: thevictoryapp.com/