I skipped mass today...

[josephback]

And I did it to rebel against the Sunday obligation. Of course I haven’t officially joined the Church yet so I’m not under Sunday obligation:shrug: I feel like there are two paths, apathy or super religiousity. I don’t know how to do moderation and I don’t want religion to take over my life.

Sometimes I even feel like faith is a delusional, and I get cynical over all the different choices to pick from. My parents and family are devout in their religion, love Jesus, but unbenownst to them have also fallen for tons of heresies. They are “born again” as the saying goes and do not realize they’ve fallen for lies

Sometimes I don’t know if I’ll stay with this Catholic thing. I have one Catholic friend and while I’m convinced intellectually I don’t feel any heartfelt love for Jesus or anything to do with the Church. I do have considerable anger over the things I fell for and was raised in. It is by faith that I believe my turning toward Catholicism is any different. Not much assurance

 

[josephback]

I just needed to express myself.

 

[Tantum_ergo]

And I did it to rebel against the Sunday obligation. Of course I haven’t officially joined the Church yet so I’m not under Sunday obligation:shrug: I feel like there are two paths, apathy or super religiousity. I don’t know how to do moderation and I don’t want religion to take over my life.

Sometimes I even feel like faith is a delusional, and I get cynical over all the different choices to pick from. My parents and family are devout in their religion, love Jesus, but unbenownst to them have also fallen for tons of heresies. They are “born again” as the saying goes and do not realize they’ve fallen for lies

Sometimes I don’t know if I’ll stay with this Catholic thing. I have one Catholic friend and while I’m convinced intellectually I don’t feel any heartfelt love for Jesus or anything to do with the Church. I do have considerable anger over the things I fell for and was raised in. It is by faith that I believe my turning toward Catholicism is any different. Not much assurance

I will say extra prayers for you today that you will receive a clear direction in your life and God’s help in finding Him, knowing Him, and loving Him totally. It’s all right if you’re angry and upset over things which have happened --you don’t need to repress those feelings --but you need, in the end, to ‘move beyond’ and not just keep cycling and spiraling back and forth over anger and frustration, and that’s where God can help you find peace, but not necessarily maybe in the way you think He ‘should’ or ‘will.’ God often shows us a way that we don’t expect or even want, and which actually scares us when we think of trying it, but if we trust Him, we’ll find that that way, and no other, is the way we really were ‘meant to go.’ But it’s hard to trust (especially if you have trust issues, believe me!) and if you feel pressured by others. So if you can find a nice quiet place by yourself today, just sit back and relax and tell God that you just can’t do it ‘by yourself’ and you NEED Him, and you’ll trust Him to show the way. . .and let him guide you. Keep praying for direction and assurance and you will be given it, you truly will. Don’t be afraid to give God all your negative feelings, either, let them out, He can take it.

 

[Monica4316]

Joseph, the first thing that came to my mind as I read your post was your comment - that you don’t want “religion to take over your life”. What do you mean by this? When we are Catholic, or any type of Christian for that matter, that is full time, 24/7. We are lukewarm if we’re only Christian “sometimes”… and you know what Jesus said about the lukewarm. We’re supposed to let God take over your life. This doesn’t mean constantly talking about God. It means doing His will in everything, loving Him in every action, avoiding sin, seeking to grow in holiness, being close to Him so that He can transform us and help us love others, receiving the Sacraments regularly (once you are Catholic), going to Mass, etc.

Even though you are not yet under a Sunday obligation (are you in RCIA? I don’t know if it applies then or not) - but the rebelliousness in your decision is not a good idea and probably something to resist in the future. Rebelliousness towards God and the Church might follow you to the time you’ll be a Catholic, and that is not a virtue, it does not help to grow in grace, but the opposite.

I also think it would be important to deal with the anger that you are experiencing. I am a convert so I understanding having difficulty or anger with your previous church. But I think that is something that we should fight. Protestants or “born again evangelicals” - might not know the whole truth about the Sacraments, etc, but they are seeking God also, and they are trying to love Him. We are NOT any better than them because we know the truth. Knowing the truth is a grace that we DON’T deserve, and cant deserve, it’s a gift, one that we are meant to share with others, - with charity and kindness of course.

If you are having difficulty loving Jesus or the Church, (beyond the intellectual agreement) - it might help to deepen your prayer life, and maybe read more of the Saints or Catholic devotional books rather than theology or apologetics (unless you have a particular question about a Church teaching). Maybe it could help you to read something like “The Practice of the Love of Jesus Christ” by St Alphonsus Liguori. The traditional Catholic devotional books, such as the ones by the Saints, tend to be effective and very orthodox.

God bless you

 

[Monica4316]

It might also help to realize in a deeper way the spiritual reality of the Mass. Here are some things that have helped me

St Padre Pio’s comments on the Mass youtube.com/watch?v=zjxL3sgfMqQ

and this:

77 Fruits of the Holy Mass
Father M. von Cochem

To omit hearing Mass merely from carelessness or indolence would be proof that we were either ignorant of, or indifferent to, the divine treasures it contains. God grant that those who read this may in future appreciate more fully this pearl of great price, value it more highly, seek it more diligently. Ponder this.

For thy salvation God the Father sends his beloved Son down from heaven.
For thy salvation the Holy Spirit changes bread and wine into the true Body and Blood of Christ.
For thy sake the Son of God comes down from heaven and conceals Himself under the form of the sacred host.
He even abases Himself to such an extent as to be present in the minutest particle of the Sacred Host.
For thy salvation He renews the saving mystery of the Incarnation.
For thy salvation He is born anew into the world in a mystic manner whenever Holy Mass is celebrated.
For thy salvation He performs on the altar the same act of worship He performed when on earth.
For thy salvation He renews His bitter passion in order that thou mayest participate in it.
For thy salvation He mystically renews His death, and sacrifices for Thee His precious life.
For thy salvation He sheds His blood in a mystic manner, and offers it up for thee to the Divine Majesty.
With this Precious Blood He sprinkles thy soul and purifies it from every stain.
For thee Christ offers Himself as a true burnt-offering, and renders to the Godhead the supreme honor which it is due.
By offering this act of worship to God, thou dost make reparation for the glory which thou hast failed to give Him.
For thee Christ offers Himself to God as a sacrifice of praise, thus atoning for thy omissions in praising His Holy Name.
By offering to God this oblation which Christ offers, thou givest Him greater praise than do the Holy Angels.
For thee Christ offers Himself as a perfect sacrifice of thanksgiving, making compensation for all failures on thy part to render thanks.
By offering to God Christ’s act of thanksgiving, thou dost make ample acknowledgment of all the benefits He had bestowed on thee.
For thee Christ offers Himself as the all powerful victim, reconciling thee to the God Whom thou hast offended.
He pardons thee for all thy venial sins, provided thou art firmly resolved to forsake them.
He also makes reparation for many of thy sins of omission, when thou didst leave undone the good thou mightest have done.
He removes many of the imperfections attaching to thy good deeds.
He forgives thee the sins, unknown or forgotten [not intentionally omitted], which thou hast never mentioned in confession.
He offers Himself as a victim to make satisfaction for a part at least of thy debts and transgressions.
Each time thou hearest Mass thou canst do more to pay the penalty due to thy sins than by the severest work of penance.
Christ places to thy credit a portion of His merits, which thou mayest offer to God the Father in expiation of thy offences.
For thee Christ offers Himself as the most efficacious peace-offering, interceding for thee as earnestly as He interceded for His enemies on the cross.
His Precious Blood pleads for thee in words as countless as the drops which issued from His sacred veins.
Each of the adorable wounds His sacred body bore is a voice calling aloud for mercy for thee.
For the sake of this propitiatory victim, the petitions proffered during Mass will be granted far sooner than those that are proffered at other times.
Never canst thou pray so well as whilst present at Mass.
This is so because Christ unites His prayers to thine, and offers them to His heavenly Father.
He acquaints Him with thy needs and dangers to which thou art exposed, and makes thy eternal salvation His particular concern.
The angels also, who are present, plead for thee, and present thy poor prayers before the throne of God.

 

[Monica4316]

On thy behalf the priest says Mass, by virtue of which the evil enemy will not be suffered to approach thee.
For thee and for thy everlasting salvation he says Mass, and offers that holy sacrifice to God Almighty.
When thou hearest Mass, thou art thyself in spirit a priest, enpowered by Christ to offer the Mass both for thyself and others.
By offering this Holy Sacrifice, thou dost present to the Blessed Trinity the most acceptable of all oblations.
Thou dost offer an oblation precious indeed, of greater value than all things in heaven and earth.
Thou dost offer an oblation precious indeed, for it is none other than God himself.
By this sacrifice thou does honor God as He alone is worthy to be honored.
By this sacrifice thou dost give infinite satisfaction to the Most Holy Trinity.
Thou mayest present this glorious oblation as thine own gift, for Christ Himself gave it unto thee.
When thou hearest Mass aright, thou dost perform an act of highest worship.
By hearing Mass thou dost pay the most profound reverence, the most loyal homage, to the Sacred Humanity of Our Lord.
It is best means whereby to venerate the Passion of Christ, and obtain a share in its fruits.
It is also the best means of venerating the blessed Mother of God, and increasing her joy.
By hearing Mass, thou canst also enrich thy soul more than aught else in the world.
By hearing Mass devoutly, thou canst give greater honor to the angels and the saints than by reciting many prayers.
For this in act thou dost perform a good work of the highest value.
It is a signal exercise of pure faith, which will receive a great reward.
When thou dost bow down before the Sacred Host and the Sacred Chalice, thou doest perform a supreme act of adoration.
For each time thou doest gaze reverently upon the Sacred Host thou wilt receive a recompense in heaven.
Each time thou dost smite thy breast with compunction, some of thy sins are remitted to thee.
If thou hearest Mass in a state of mortal sin, God offers thee grace of conversion.
If thou hearest Mass in a state of grace, God gives augmentation of grace.
In Holy Mass thou doest spiritually eat the flesh of Christ, and drink His blood.
Thou art privileged to behold with thine eyes Christ hidden under the sacramental veil, and to be beheld by Him.
Thou dost receive the priest’s benediction, which is confirmed by Christ in heaven.
Through thy diligence in hearing Mass, thou wilt also obtain corporal and temporal blessings.
Furthermore, thou wilt be preserved from many misfortunes that would otherwise have vanquished thee.
Thou wilt also be strengthened against temptations which would have otherwise have vanquished thee.
Holy Mass will also be to thee a means of obtaining grace of a holy death.
The love thou hast shown for Holy Mass wilt secure for thee the special succor of angels and saints in thy last moments.
The remembrance of the Masses heard in thy lifetime will be a sweet solace to thee in the hour of death, and inspire thee with confidence in the divine mercy.
They will not be forgotten when thou dost stand before the strict Judge and will incline Him to show thee favor.
Thou needest not a fear a long and terrible Purgatory if thou hast already to a great extent atoned for thy sins by frequently assisting at Holy Mass.
One Mass devoutly heard will do more to mitigate the pains of Purgatory than any act of penance, however difficult of performance.
One Mass in thy lifetime will be of greater service to thee than many said for thee after death.
Thou wilt attain a high place in heaven, which will be thine to all eternity.
Thy felicity in heaven will, moreover be increased by every Mass thou hearest on earth.
No prayers offered for thy friends will be as efficacious as a single Mass heard and offered on their behalf.
Thou canst amply recompense all thy benefactors by hearing Mass for their intention.
The best help, the greatest consolation, thou canst afford the afflicted, the sick, the dying is to hear Mass for them.
By this same means thou canst even obtain for sinners the grace of conversion.
Thou canst also earn for all faithful Christians saving and salutary graces.
For the suffering souls in Purgatory thou canst procure abundant refreshment.
And if it is not within thy power to have Mass said for thy departed friends, thou canst by devout assistance at the Holy Sacrifice release them from the tormenting flames.
What dost now think of the Holy Mass, O Christian? Can it be supposed that in the whole world there is any other good work whereby so many graces and fruits are placed within our reach? It is no longer possible to question the truth of the words of Father Sanchez:

If Christians only knew how to profit by Holy Mass, they might acquire greater riches than are to be found in all things God has created.

We have indeed a precious storehouse in the Mass: happy he who can earn treasures so great at the cost of so little labor! Who would willingly miss Mass? Who would not delight in hearing it? Let us resolve never to lose an opportunity of hearing Mass, provided the duties of our state of life do not prevent us from doing so.

Father Martin von Cochem (1625-1712). Cochem’s Explanation of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.

 

[Trishie]

Joseph, it takes time and effort to get to know a person, and it can be the same with developing a deep relationship with Jesus.
And you are in the entry area of the Catholic faith. You haven’t come fully into the home and community of the Church yet, there is much yet to grow into. What you find now may only be a faint hope of the faith you will have when you fully commit to the life of the Church.
I trust you to God who chooses you.

 

[ConstantineTG]

And I did it to rebel against the Sunday obligation. Of course I haven’t officially joined the Church yet so I’m not under Sunday obligation:shrug: I feel like there are two paths, apathy or super religiousity. I don’t know how to do moderation and I don’t want religion to take over my life.

Sometimes I even feel like faith is a delusional, and I get cynical over all the different choices to pick from. My parents and family are devout in their religion, love Jesus, but unbenownst to them have also fallen for tons of heresies. They are “born again” as the saying goes and do not realize they’ve fallen for lies

Sometimes I don’t know if I’ll stay with this Catholic thing. I have one Catholic friend and while I’m convinced intellectually I don’t feel any heartfelt love for Jesus or anything to do with the Church. I do have considerable anger over the things I fell for and was raised in. It is by faith that I believe my turning toward Catholicism is any different. Not much assurance

Maybe you need to see the faith in a non-legalistic way. It seems you think legalistic approaches like “obligations” is a weight that bears on your mind and soul. I can’t blame you, many see it that way. But the Christian faith really is not about following the rules, but in fact sharing in the life of God. I can share more if you are interested.

 

[lisahiku]

the catholic church IS about following ‘rules’…or better yet commandments.

 

[Tantum_ergo]

the catholic church IS about following ‘rules’…or better yet commandments.

Certainly God has given His people a Church with authority to help them to know what to do–and those helps include “rules” or ‘commandments’. But the rules are not there in and of themselves; they are there for help and guidance lest we be like people trying to find a path to a place while walking in darkness with no maps, no roads, no landmarks, no guides. . .

 

[bobtater]

Actually the two greatest rules of the Church is to love your neighbor as yourself and if you do this all other rules are not difficult to bear not even the Ten Commandments. For above all these put on love.

 

[josephback]

Well I got taught a lesson. Tonight I read from Mere Christianity about faith and he makes the point that faith must be nurtured and taken care of to survive. He said that moods will fluctuate and that faith must become a habit. Point taken.

 

[josephback]

Maybe you need to see the faith in a non-legalistic way. It seems you think legalistic approaches like “obligations” is a weight that bears on your mind and soul. I can’t blame you, many see it that way. But the Christian faith really is not about following the rules, but in fact sharing in the life of God. I can share more if you are interested.

Please do so. I take a mostly intellectual approach. The first time I went to a Catholic Church I had no emotional attraction but was convinced intellectually. If it was about feelings I like the Eastern(Orthodox) Church service better. I know intellectually that it has to be founded on love for God and one’s fellow man, but I don’t feel this love or feel like I do a good job at it. But then I can be a depressive and downcast so …

 

[josephback]

Actually the two greatest rules of the Church is to love your neighbor as yourself and if you do this all other rules are not difficult to bear not even the Ten Commandments. For above all these put on love.

I know these things intellectually but have a lot to learn in practice. I think I’m often motivated out of fear of God rather than love for Him.

 

[ConstantineTG]

Please do so. I take a mostly intellectual approach. The first time I went to a Catholic Church I had no emotional attraction but was convinced intellectually. If it was about feelings I like the Eastern(Orthodox) Church service better. I know intellectually that it has to be founded on love for God and one’s fellow man, but I don’t feel this love or feel like I do a good job at it. But then I can be a depressive and downcast so …

That is what I can offer you, the Eastern praxis. Because the East looks at things less legalistic. I’m not saying that the legalism in the West is wrong. Some people really can’t appreciate it. The same way that some people can’t appreciate the mysticism and monastic approach of the East.

 

[raaucoin]

If you are convinced intellectually, that is a gift from God. Sounds like even if you aren’t there yet He is definitely calling you into a deeper relationship with Him.
Remember, sometimes love includes affection and warm fuzzy feelings. But not always. Love is not a feeling but a decision. So don’t worry now about not feeling particularly "in love with"Jesus.
If you are convinced(intellectually) than you know it behoves you to seek the will of God for your life. I suggest you spend some time in prayer before the Blessed Sacrament. Go easy on yourself. It is possible the Lord is allowing you this time to second guess your own motivations so that an awesome and amazing love relationship may flourish between the two of you.
And when that happens, the “obligation” is no longer something we rebel against( I’ve been there too!) but it is something we look forward to. Many of us can’t wait until Sunday and so we seek out one or a couple or more weekday Masses.
I’ll keep you in my prayers.

 

[domandcarols]

Think of mass as an honor, not an obligation. No one if forcing you to do anything, it can never take over your life. It’s a honor and a gift you should be glad to receive. Just my opinion. God bless!

 

[domandcarols]

If you are convinced intellectually, that is a gift from God. Sounds like even if you aren’t there yet He is definitely calling you into a deeper relationship with Him.
Remember, sometimes love includes affection and warm fuzzy feelings. But not always. Love is not a feeling but a decision. So don’t worry now about not feeling particularly "in love with"Jesus.
If you are convinced(intellectually) than you know it behoves you to seek the will of God for your life. I suggest you spend some time in prayer before the Blessed Sacrament. Go easy on yourself. It is possible the Lord is allowing you this time to second guess your own motivations so that an awesome and amazing love relationship may flourish between the two of you.
And when that happens, the “obligation” is no longer something we rebel against( I’ve been there too!) but it is something we look forward to. Many of us can’t wait until Sunday and so we seek out one or a couple or more weekday Masses.
I’ll keep you in my prayers.

My thoughts exactly.
I started going to daily mass a while ago and every day I’m eager because it makes me feel good and keeps me on the right path and happy. It’s never an obligation, it’s a privilege!

 

[josephback]

I think a big part of the problem is that I won’t focus on the hope of salvation because it seems impossible to please God. I have a tormented psyche and I think I blame a lot of my uncertainties and such on God. How can we possibly know if we’re pleasing to Him, and what’s the point of trying if we aren’t. But then that’s an over-reliance on evidence and signs. This faith business is tough:shrug:

 

[Monica4316]

I think a big part of the problem is that I won’t focus on the hope of salvation because it seems impossible to please God. I have a tormented psyche and I think I blame a lot of my uncertainties and such on God. How can we possibly know if we’re pleasing to Him, and what’s the point of trying if we aren’t. But then that’s an over-reliance on evidence and signs. This faith business is tough:shrug:

I think it’s important to realize that we CAN’T deserve salvation. We will never ever please God enough that He would “owe” us Heaven. This is not how salvation works. Certainly we must try to please God because this is how we show our faith, and faith without works is dead. And if we do His will, our actions will be pleasing to Him. However, - they still won’t be enough for us to “earn” Heaven. God forgives us our sins because He is merciful… if we deserved it, it wouldn’t be mercy. Trust in His mercy, which we can’t deserve, but which He shows us anyway, because of who He is, not who we are. Think about who God is than about who you are. Try to follow Him out of love. If we dont follow Him, - and don’t intend to repent, then we are not sorry enough for our sins and are blocking His forgiveness. True repentance includes a decision to not sin any more. But forgiveness if free.

I watched a (fictional) tv show one time about a man who was trying so hard to do good deeds to be able to go to Heaven. He got angry at God because he felt it wasn’t enough. There were angels who told him, - no matter how hard he tries to make a stairway to Heaven, it will never be high enough. All that he can do, is stand on the top step and ask God to take him the rest of the way. I thought that was a good analogy.

It might help you to read “Story of a Soul” by St Therese… and about her little way: youtube.com/watch?v=dN1yuoCUgzs None of this excuses us from good works. But just remember it’s His mercy that saves us. If we were to appear before God, what would we give Him? Only our misery and sin… and it’s not even how much we do, but how much we love in our actions, whether they are small or big.

God bless!