I struggle with the "power of prayer"

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So I’m a lifelong Catholic, and many would describe me as “very religious”. I’ve been pretty strong in my faith, even in the midst of hardships and tragedies, but right now just don’t think that “God answers prayers”.

In the past few years, I’ve endured early miscarriages, a full term stillbirth, and an infant death (unrelated and rare). My mom died of cancer. My brother is a drug addict. My husband had (and is still dealing with) a significant porn addiction. There have been job and family issues.

Yesterday was my birthday. I celebrated with an early miscarriage and bad job news.

I guess I just have a hard time with praying at the moment. We are now blessed with a little boy, but even he has some health issues. I’ve prayed and begged God to help my children, and nothing happened. Except death and continued illness. I mean, begged for everything with novenas and prayer warriors and Masses said. Going to daily Mass. Not just a quick prayer here and there, but very intense prayer.

And really, I understand the Catholic perspective on suffering. It actually has helped more in the midst of all this than any other viewpoint would. But all I read about and hear about is prayer, and feel constantly let down to the point where I am weary of asking God for anything, because it seems pointless and exhausting. Like, His will is going to happen anyway so why bother?

Any advice?
 
Dearest one I’m so sorry for the loss of your baby yesterday on your birthday.
And for all the little ones you have lost, and all the pain on so many levels.
You’ve been through so much.

What comes to mind was that you are suffering with Christ for the salvation of many:

Isaiah 53

3 he was despised, the lowest of men, a man of sorrows, familiar with suffering, one from whom, as it were, we averted our gaze, despised, for whom we had no regard.

4 Yet ours were the sufferings he was bearing, ours the sorrows he was carrying, while we thought of him as someone being punished and struck with affliction by God;

5 whereas he was being wounded for our rebellions, crushed because of our guilt; the punishment reconciling us fell on him, and we have been healed by his bruises.

6 We had all gone astray like sheep, each taking his own way, and Yahweh brought the acts of rebellion of all of us to bear on him.

7 Ill-treated and afflicted, he never opened his mouth, like a lamb led to the slaughter-house, like a sheep dumb before its shearers he never opened his mouth.

8 Forcibly, after sentence, he was taken. Which of his contemporaries was concerned at his having been cut off from the land of the living, at his having been struck dead for his people’s rebellion?

9 He was given a grave with the wicked, and his tomb is with the rich, although he had done no violence, had spoken no deceit.

10 It was Yahweh’s good pleasure to crush him with pain; if he gives his life as a sin offering, he will see his offspring and prolong his life, and through him Yahweh’s good pleasure will be done.

11 After the ordeal he has endured, he will see the light and be content. By his knowledge, the upright one, my servant will justify many by taking their guilt on himself.

12 Hence I shall give him a portion with the many, and he will share the booty with the mighty, for having exposed himself to death and for being counted as one of the rebellious, whereas he was bearing the sin of many and interceding for the rebellious.
 
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Our God, we humans feel need for practical alleviation in times of grief, difficulty and anxiety. When I am embroiled in grief, clasp me to Your heart.

When I am sad or unwell, when I lose those precious to me, when troubles beset my family or friends, when I make mistakes, and when the pain or sin of the world assails me, please lift my spirit with God’s love, and with the kindness of those whom God sends.

If in my sorrow I doubt Your mercy, please accept my heartache and tears as prayer for others. Forgive me if I feel anger, or dismay, in my frustrated yearning for real help for loved ones in their genuine needs, difficulty and pain!

Please allow no one to suffer for my doubt, but give me faith to become a better vehicle of intercession and blessing for others. Give me remembrance always that I need not plead desperately for Your mercy but will open my heart to the flood of mercy that awaits my welcome.
 
The grieving heart
Dear Mother Mary, please comfort this grieving heart in the waves of pain that frequently engulf it. Sustain it when dark mourning closes out all light of comfort and hope , and when prayer seems no longer possible. Obtain the gentle understanding and warm companionship of others to nurture the stricken heart and lead it towards hope and new life. Sustain it with faith and bring it to true generosity of spirit even in its sorrow.

You deeply experienced the laceration of suffering and bereavement, Mother. It entered and filled your Son’s life, piercing your soul, echoing through all your years. You watched your beloved Child follow a path that led to His earthly annihilation. Grieving, you were powerless to murmur or to prevent Him who must be about His divine Father’s affairs. You suffered, prayed, and loved in silent faith, as so many parents must.

Like innumerable mothers (parents)throughout the ages, you watched with anguish the struggling progress of your Son’s destiny, amid rising danger of circumstance and others’ opposition. Finally, you beheld as others’ selfishness, unbelief, ambition, fear and pride, destroyed Him who only loved them and sought their salvation.

He hung there, your boy, cruelly nailed, struggling for breath and faith. You helplessly watched life drain from His pure, loved body as His struggle deepened in pain, fever and weakness. You would have protected Him whom you loved in excruciating intensity, but you could never choose to betray the divine intention that entrusted Him to you. “Your will be done!” your being replied endlessly with His to the divine Father.

Have pity on the anguished helplessness issuing from inability to alleviate the sufferings of dear ones. Mother crucified of heart, as we suffer with our dear ones’ pain and grief, and our terrible loss, please obtain for us such courage, obedience and selflessness as your own and His, so that the highest will of divine love shall be fulfilled in each of our lives.

Mother have pity on that terrible grief, that chasm of loss, the emptiness that stretches before the bereaved as they embrace their dead (or behold their broken families) in their desolate hearts, as you have done. Let them find hope in Your dead son’s resurrection even when their hearts are still frozen with grief.
 
Dearest God, in Your plan of salvation, You permit our sharing in the suffering that You bore for our sins…in order to awaken repentance…in reparation for anyone’s offenses …or to sanctify through affliction.

Yet I entreat that sufferers may not endure an instant longer or of a degree more intense than needed. Where mine or another’s prayer and love can attain what is required, by calling upon the vast treasury of saints and martyrs, the intercession of angels, and Your own infinite merit—then Jesus I implore You to allow this.

You promise that no one will be burdened beyond endurance. Yet what extreme of sorrow can be endured beneath this limit! Pain is always relevant and a tormented moment may seem an eternity, as Jesus the supreme sufferer knows so well!

Therefore, except where Your purpose is endangered, spare us the cup of suffering and allow mine and others’ salvation be wrought through divine grace, in prayer, in humble trust and generous love rather through anguish.

Yet, not as we desire, but Your divine will be accomplished! If this is to be fulfilled through suffering—for how can we in our sinfulness hope to escape what You in Your innocence do not—then please grant us perseverance in our privileged sharing in Your sacrifice.

United with You let us trustingly give all so that sanctified in You, our lives serve the highest purpose of divine will. Lead us, with peace and spiritual joy, to penetrate the mysteries of this redemptive suffering shared in Jesus, our God and our brother.
 
I do feel for you very much. As you can tell from my prayers perhaps, not for the same reasons but for many, I’ve been where you are.

Words aren’t much consolation really, but I’ll hold you, and your family in my heart in prayer.
 
Like an oyster, I cling to the rock of God, unable to offer more than faithfulness.
If this oyster may still produce pearls for God from the pain embedded in my life and being, then I praise God’s goodness in producing value and beauty out of my life with its struggles, doubts and difficulties.
The rock may seem hard and barren, and the ‘oysters’ of God’s faithful ones may at times appear lifeless and dull, yet this appearance is merely temporal.

Dear God, please help me to hear You in the silence, with faith that You will find ways to speak in the hearts and lives of my loved ones and of all sincere individuals.
Speak and speak again until we hear the voice of Your Spirit. Yet, all the while, glorify Yourself in everyone for whom Your-grace-in-me intercedes.
Fulfil Your loving dream in us, through the action of Your Spirit. Let there be love and honour to You, through Your own divine Love and Glory Itself.

…

“I was thinking: ‘I have toiled in vain, I have exhausted myself for nothing.’ And all the while my cause was with God, my reward with my God.” [Isaiah 49:3-4]
 
Thanks Trishie. That helps. I’ve had such problems the past few years hearing about miracles and healings too, because people prayed and trusted in God. As if we didn’t…

Or the more Protestant version of “claiming” things in Christ’s name, that I tend to see on my Facebook feed. Apparently they claim it and all is well?

I’m just emotionally tired.
 
Hugs. Maybe God will take some efforts off your shoulders.
I will pray for you and your family that He helps you and sends you His good signs.
✝️
 
This passage in book 5, Ch. 8 of St. Augustine’s Confessions, may be of help to you. In it, Augustine tells of the time he left for Rome. His mother begged him not to go and prayed constantly, but Augustine deceived her and left anyways:
"She would not return home without me, but I managed with some difficulty to persuade her to spend the night in a place near the ship where there was an oratory in memory of St. Cyprian. That night I stole away without her: she remained praying and weeping. And what was she praying for, O my God, with all those tears but that you should not allow me to sail! But You saw deeper and granted the essential of her prayer: You did not do what she was at that moment asking, that You might do the thing she was always asking.

The wind blew and filled our sails and the shore dropped from our sight. And the next morning she was frantic with grief and filled Your ears with her moaning and complaints because you seemed to treat her tears so lightly, when in fact You were using my own desires to snatch me away for the healing of those desires, and were justly punishing her own too earthly affection for me with the scourge of grief. For she loved to have me with her, as is the way of mothers, but far more than most mothers; and she did not realise what joys you would bring her from my going away. She did not realise it, and so she wept and lamented, and by the torments she suffered showed the heritage of Eve in her, seeking with sorrow what in sorrow she had brought forth. But when she had poured out all her accusation at my cruel deception, she turned once more to prayer to You for me. She went home and I to Rome."
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Throughout her life, St. Monica prayed endlessly for God to bring her son, St. Augustine, to the Catholic faith. When her son was leaving for Rome, she wept and prayed to God not to let him leave, but it appeared that God ignored her prayers, as Augustine sailed for Rome anyways.

However, Augustine reveals that he now sees that, while God did not grant her what she was asking in the moment, He did so only to allow a greater good to come of it; to better bring about what Monica had prayed for for Augustine’s entire life.

After sailing to Rome, Augustine eventually caught the eye of a Roman official who recommended him for the position of public orator for the city of Milan. In Milan, a combination of his studies, his mother’s devotion, the urging of his friend Simplicianus, and the influence of Bishop Ambrose led Augustine to embrace Catholicism. After his conversion, St. Augustine went on to become a priest, the Bishop of Hippo, one of the most important Church Fathers, and a saint that has been an inspiration to Christianity for centuries.

So, while it may sometimes seem that God is ignoring our prayers or that they aren’t working in the moment, always remember that He does so only to bring about a greater good and a greater manifestation of His will in our lives and the lives of others.

Never abandon prayer.
 
Thanks for sharing. Unfortunately for us, we are not spared of difficulties in our lives which we rather not have. In such cases we can only take heart that our Father in heaven knows what we are going through and that His response would be something that is good for us but that we may not know immediately. We only know that according to His word, He would want good things for us.

God bless.
 
So sorry for all the hardships you’ve had. God loves you so much. Don’t give up, sounds like the period of aridity that the saints went through to me. Others have said read the book of Job which is a description of this in the Bible, the psalms also, especially David, the ups and downs of it.
Just remember, that God loves you, knows what is best for you and you can trust Him. I know it is so hard to see that, cos we tiny humans can’t see the bigger picture, we see this life only…when it is such a teeny weeny part of the whole thing so as to almost be insignificant. God, remember sees the whole picture and knows what is best for the whole picture. Really try trust in that. Our prayers are meant to change us, not God so if you feel God isn’t answering your prayers, you aren’t praying for the right thing. Remember Paul? God told him, His grace was sufficient for his suffering. Perhaps pray for the grace to deal with your sufferings rather than their removal and forgive me for that assumption, please. God bless you, I shall pray also for that grace for you and your family.
 
I feel for you greatly … I too know what it is like to suffer and to suffer loss … but your loss is greater and my heart aches for you … however, know that Jesus is with you every moment of every day … when you pray to Jesus talk to him about your pain and tell him how your heart aches … but most importantly ask for the strength to endure all the trials that have been sent your way … this is most important … to remember to ask for the strength to endure … and then finally to offer up all your pain for the benefit of something worthwhile … you may want to offer up your pain for the souls of those you have lost in your life … only you can make a decision as to what you want to offer up your pain for. May the Lord bless you and keep you close to Him.
 
A prayer for you …

Divine Mercy Chaplet

O Blood and Water, which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a fountain of Mercy for us, I trust in You!
O Blood and Water, which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a fountain of Mercy for us, I trust in You!
O Blood and Water, which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a fountain of Mercy for us, I trust in You!

Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name; Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death, Amen.

I believe in God, the Father almighty, Creator of heaven and earth, and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord, who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died and was buried; He descended into hell; on the third day He rose again from the dead; He ascended into heaven, and is seated at the right hand of God the Father almighty; from there He will come to judge the living and the dead. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic Church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting. Amen.

Eternal Father, I offer you the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Your Dearly Beloved Son, Our Lord, Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world.

For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
 
Perhaps God wanted through your prayers and sufferings to save souls
 
Thank you all. Honestly I just want to feel normal sometimes. I know there are people who have it worse, but there are certainly people who have it much easier. Just something to go well for once!
 
Be thankful for the child who survived now, and pray for those who have died; they should be in Heaven, I am assuming. Know that they are in a greater place than if they were with you.

I am sorry for all that has happened so far. But do not tire of turning to the Lord. God bless
 
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