I talked to the Devil in my mirror

[BrianLovejoy]

  I have been an atheist for most of my teenage and young adult life (about 5 years now). When I was 17 I lost faith for some very complicated reasons and I made my last prayer asking God to give me any sign he was there and that he cared. Over these years I've started to hate myself more and more because I've lost most of my will power and control over my morals.

  Today I got so mad at myself I started screaming at myself in the mirror but soon it felt like I lost control of my body. I looked into my eyes and didn't see myself, instead I saw the Devil. He started to speak in my voice. He told me I was losing control of my life and every step I took further away from God the more control he would have over me. He told me there was nothing I could do to help myself and that I was too far gone. He told me that if I continued to follow his path he would make my life hell. He gave me a smile and told me that this was the sign I've been waiting for, but he knew I was too weak to listen and he already had my soul.

 After he was done talking I felt myself gain control again and I fell on my knees and began to cry uncontrollably. I cried for a very long time before I crawled into the shower and turned on the freezing water and let it wash over me. I prayed for the first time in five years and begged God to give me guidance and allow me to repent for my sins. I felt two warm hands on my shoulder through the freezing water and knew he was there with me. I swore I'd set my life on the right track and I'm here to ask what I should do next.

  Its still so unbelievable what happened to me today, but this whole experience has been life-changing. I'm lost and scared but I know God is watching over me. There's no doubt in my mind that what I experienced today was real. Even if you don't believe me I'm still asking for advice on what to do next. I want to make myself better and return to God but I'm not sure where to start. I'm not looking for anyone to contact me or help me directly, this is a journey I must take on my own. I'm just looking for what steps to take to return to God's light and gain control of my life again. Thank you for reading and understanding.

 

[FCS]

First of all, know that God will always forgive you if you are truly sorry for your sins and that He loves you very much. I would suggest talking to a priest in a nearby church about your experience and also going to confession.

 

[Gertabelle]

I have been an atheist for most of my teenage and young adult life (about 5 years now). When I was 17 I lost faith for some very complicated reasons and I made my last prayer asking God to give me any sign he was there and that he cared. Over these years I’ve started to hate myself more and more because I’ve lost most of my will power and control over my morals.

Today I got so mad at myself I started screaming at myself in the mirror but soon it felt like I lost control of my body. I looked into my eyes and didn’t see myself, instead I saw the Devil. He started to speak in my voice. He told me I was losing control of my life and every step I took further away from God the more control he would have over me. He told me there was nothing I could do to help myself and that I was too far gone. He told me that if I continued to follow his path he would make my life hell. He gave me a smile and told me that this was the sign I’ve been waiting for, but he knew I was too weak to listen and he already had my soul.

After he was done talking I felt myself gain control again and I fell on my knees and began to cry uncontrollably. I cried for a very long time before I crawled into the shower and turned on the freezing water and let it wash over me. I prayed for the first time in five years and begged God to give me guidance and allow me to repent for my sins. I felt two warm hands on my shoulder through the freezing water and knew he was there with me. I swore I’d set my life on the right track and I’m here to ask what I should do next.

Its still so unbelievable what happened to me today, but this whole experience has been life-changing. I’m lost and scared but I know God is watching over me. There’s no doubt in my mind that what I experienced today was real. Even if you don’t believe me I’m still asking for advice on what to do next. I want to make myself better and return to God but I’m not sure where to start. I’m not looking for anyone to contact me or help me directly, this is a journey I must take on my own. I’m just looking for what steps to take to return to God’s light and gain control of my life again. Thank you for reading and understanding.

If you are Catholic, contact a priest and make a good confession. Most parish offices will be closed until after January 1, but if you go to daily mass, you might be able to get a word with the priest after mass.

If you are not Catholic, you can still contact a Catholic priest for counsel and advice, though you won’t be able to receive the sacrament of confession.

Prayers.

 

[Roguish]

I want to make myself better and return to God but I’m not sure where to start.

You have already started. You had a dramatic turn-around experience, and you prayed. By doing so after having been away from God, you have started on your return-journey to Him. Completing this journey may take you a lifetime, but that’s how it is for all of us.

So, how do you continue your Walk with Him? First, and always foremost, by praying. Whatever religion you belong to, or even if you don’t formally belong to any religion, prayer is and will always be the backbone of the religious life. Your prayers will strengthen your spirit and, in time, will help you see what the right path ahead is for you. Whenever possible, pray in churches or at least places of worship (e.g. in front of a shrine). If and when you feel ready, join a community, at first informally, then formally. (Or if you’re already formally a member of the RCC or another religion, take some baby steps to rediscover it. Don’t go too fast, that won’t work. Pray and proceed at your own pace.)

Merry Christmas. God has arrived.

Venerable Fulton Sheen said that sin is not the worst thing in the world, it is the denial that sin exists and that is real.

Superb point!

 

[GospelOfMatthew]

You have already asked God for help and forgiveness, that’s a great start. Jesus loves you and he’s so glad you finally want him part of your life. Talk with a Priest about this, and read through the Gospel of Mark completely (it’s the shortest Gospel) so that you may know more about the love and mercy of Jesus!