I think am evil

[EMILYOCD]

I Dont know what i did wrong - i see myself as something that isnt worth very much a non person something that is on some ones shoes like dirt - when i was young i was abused including by a priest - he told me i was going to hell i cant seems to get that out of my mind ever since i have hated going near priests and the Catholic Church as i gives me flashbacks that are so bad sometimes its like reliving it
When i got married i was forced by my mother to have the wedding at a Catholic Church i was having flashbacks during my wedding vows my husband is very supportive and my husband is the only person who know about it then after that my step dad died and his funeral was at a Catholic church then my great niece was christened at a Catholic church and my new great niece will be christened at the catholic church as well i have tried to go to mass but i just cant do it - i think that am going to hell because the priest said i am
i think am going to hell because my husband got the snip so we dont have kids as i have mental health problems and i cant take care of myself never mind a child i now regret that my husband did this but my husband says he dont regret it my husband is a new christian
he dont seem to understand the Catholic church and we dont go to a Catholic church and my husband refuses to go anywhere else and the church i go to are understanding of mental health problems
i think am going to hell - i think am evil and i think am worthless i think am demonic
i pray but it scares me too

 

[Wesrock]

The priest who told you that youbwere going to hell was a sinful, broken man with evil in his heart. He told you those words as a way to control you and hurt you, and he has no authority to tell you such things. It was a horrible lie, and it’s something you’d do well to put behind you.

God loves you, and God will forgive you for any sins if you put your trust in him. I would suggest speaking to your current priest about finding a good spiritual counselor (and if the counselor makes you in any way uncomfortable, stop). Just because someone has a ministry or ordination doesn’t automatically make them a better person than you.

 

[Mary_Estelle]

Just as Wesrock has stated. Don’t let this own you. You are a treasure to our Creator. The Lord does not make junk. I will pray for you. Peace.

 

[Catholic1954]

The priest may have said you are going to hell, but Jesus says otherwise. You are a sexual abuse victim and deserve all the peace and grace the Church has to offer. Please talk to your husband and get professional help to help you deal with this horrible pain and get your life back. God created you in his image and likeness and to BE HAPPY WITH HIM IN HEAVEN.

 

[Crown_of_Stars]

when i was young i was abused including by a priest - he told me i was going to hell

What is it with these priests? What is wrong with them?! Okay, for one thing, you are NOT in danger of going to hell. Why would he have said that to you, especially then after doing something like that!!! It’s his own soul he should have been worried about.
I’m sorry you’re going through this fear. I fear it too, and all we can do is pray for our own peace. I think it’s important to just shut out and forget about what others are doing, and concentrate more on ourselves. Not in a selfish way, but in a way that will strengthen us faithfully. I’m going through darkness more and more lately, mostly because of the way I see the world is. Just today, I said, out loud to myself, “I HATE people!” Now, of course, I have a repentant heart, but I just keep doing things like that constantly, and I begin to wonder just how evil I really am. I can’t seem to get over it. While I know it’s wrong, and deeply offends God, I do it in the heat and rush of emotion.

 

[Mary_Estelle]

Don’t ever think that it is just priests that are guilty of abuses. It is a problem within other denominations/Christians groups as well. Pray for ALL of them. There seems to be a certain mindset among some men that the idea of unwanted attention/liberties are OK. Keep in mind that there are more good priest, ministers and pastors and various church leaders, than bad or evil ones. We need to pray for them as well as the victims. I pray for those that have been hurt by those we trust the most. I pray for all that have been touched by such events. Peace.

 

[Crown_of_Stars]

Don’t ever think that it is just priests that are guilty of abuses. It is a problem within other denominations/Christians groups as well. Pray for ALL of them. There seems to be a certain mindset among some men that the idea of unwanted attention/liberties are OK. Keep in mind that there are more good priest, ministers and pastors and various church leaders, than bad or evil ones. We need to pray for them as well as the victims. I pray for those that have been hurt by those we trust the most. I pray for all that have been touched by such events. Peace.

You’re right, MaryEstelle. My first reaction is to get mad. Rightly so, because people involved in churches should just know better, and shouldn’t even have the desire to do such a thing. You’re right, though. There, fortunately, are more good than evil. Thankfully, I’ve never known or known of any of these kind of people within my own parish, or others around me. I think it’s just terrible, and they ruin it and give the good ones a bad name. That’s what I’m getting so sick of.

 

[Spritus1]

Dear Emily

You are not evil. You are good. You have been grievously betrayed and hurt. This was an offence against you. You are not going to hell.

You need healing. All of us are wounded in some way. Those wounds can be healed. Please pray to God for healing of this particular wound. God knows your pain. God wants to and will heal you. Ask Him in prayer. Look up the healing of memories. Start there.

Forgive yourself. You have done nothing wrong. You were abused. It is not your fault.
Go to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament and say to the Lord how hurt you have been and still are and ask Him for His peace and healing.

Please go easy on yourself. It can take time but keep at it. Go to confession and start afresh on your healing journey.

May God bless you.

 

[Pat_Payne]

i think am going to hell - i think am evil and i think am worthless i think am demonic
i pray but it scares me too

First things first – we none of us know what our eternal destination is, much less anyone else’s. Only God and the Saints know, and as far as I know, they ain’t telling Anyone , ANYONE, who tells you you are without fail going to Hell is full of baloney. Even if His Holiness, The Pope were to say it (and I very HIGHLY doubt he ever would ) he’d be full of baloney. That priest, I will say right now, was full of baloney. He did not know, any more than any of us, what the state of your soul is. Even Padre Pio, who had the gift of reading souls, I would imagine wouldn’t condemn someone to Hell, but try to get a sinner to repent through confession. That sort of condemnation is not authentically Catholic.

Secondly, you sound like you have a lot of hurts going on that haven’t been resolved. I’d definitely recommend going to a therapist to help process the titanic scars you’ve received from others. And as people in this thread have mentioned, priests are people too. Some are good, some are bad, and sometimes it’s hard to tell one form the other, unfortunately. But it shouldn’t put you off of all priests because of one who was acting in a horrific manner.

Third. You may think you’re worthless, but fortunately, God doesn’t think so lowly of you. He loves you, with all His heart.

“Do not be afraid, for I have redeemed you, I have called you by your name, you are Mine… Because you are precious in My eyes, because you are honored and I love you.” (Is 43: 1, 4a)

'Yes, You love all that exists, You hold nothing of that You have made in abhorrence, for if You had hated anything, You would not have formed it. And how, had You not willed it, could a thing persist, how be conserved if not called forth by You? You spare all things, because all things are Yours, O Lord, lover of life." (Wisdom 11: 24-26)