I think God called - I tried to answer ......article

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I am hoping I am in the correct Forum…if not please advise and I will have this thread shifted.

wcr.ab.ca/news/2007/0723/call072307.shtml
“Maybe God called – I tried to answer”

I am wondering how many have shared a similar experience as the writer of this article. That they felt a call to the priesthood or religious life but the attitude of the “Vocations Director” or similar (Prior, prioress, novice mistress etc.)discouraged them severely so that they abandoned what they felt was a call from God.
I am also interested in the comments of those who may have impediments to religious life, but feel that these “impediments” did not really present a problem.
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The vocations director was barely polite and made it clear from the outset that I was wasting his time
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After each of these encounters I lost a little interest, felt a little less enthusiasm. What was initially a brightly burning flame wavered and grew weak. The Church that I had assumed would welcome a sincere candidate had responded to my inquiries with minimal courtesy and negligible interest in learning about or engaging with me.
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First, I hope we would remember this is only his account of what happened and is probably a little prejudice. Sometimes when people don’t react how we think they should, we don’t pay full attention to what they are saying. 😃

I have ran into some of these actions he describes during my discernment. A few times I might add. But that never stopped me. I just figured this was not the order I was looking for. When I actually found an order that responded and took complete interest in me, I knew it was right. Not only because they responded, but because I knew I was home. Of course, I have not been accepted yet, and if I am not, I will not give up. God wants me to do something with his church, and I feel it is with the priesthood, so I will follow the path he started me on.
 
I’ve shared a similar experience with the writer of the article.

When I called up the Vocations Director in my diocese, a nun answered. When I explained the reason for my phone call, she responded, “Well, I hope you don’t have any romantic notions about being a Bride of Christ. All that being a nun means is living your Baptismal vows more fully.”

Sensing that the Vocations Director really wasn’t taking an interest in my interest in a sincere way that valued me as a unique individual, I then asked her to send me the Vocations Guide booklet.

When it came, I leafed through it. Some of the ads from various orders of priests, brothers, and nuns horrified me to the point where I came to question the other ads. For example, one ad was for a cloistered contemplative order of nuns who advertised in big print “WE CHANT IN INCLUSIVE LANGUAGE.” Another ad invited people to attend a retreat on the theme of “Discovering Your Gender Identity.”

No, I am not exaggerating nor making this up.

I then went personally to visit an Order which I truly admire, have supported for years, and will continue to support. The Mother Superior discerned that given my personality, I may not quite fit in a cloistered environment. Since she had kindly and courteously taken the time to listen as well as speak with me in an attentive manner, I agreed in a peaceable way. We parted on good terms, the best of terms, and as I said, I think very highly of the Order and would indeed reccomend it to any who are truly called.

When I looked into the more active as opposed to contemplative orders in the vicinity, they just didn’t seem to feel like home.

Meanwhile, as a layperson, I have the freedom to use my voice in defense of the Pope and the Teachings of the Church in an unfettered manner. I feel like I’m in the trenches on the front line of the secular world, and pray to St. Michael for help with the spiritual confrontations that simply living a Catholic life in an anti-Catholic environment brings.

~~ the phoenix
 
I too have found my place as a layperson. My private vows (evangelical counsels) are now life vows and I live a particular lifestyle and live alone and this now spans some 30 years. While I sometimes can experience “the grass is greener syndrome”, when I really consider other forms of life and vocations, I know I would never leave Bethany (the name of my residence and lifestyle) even if a traditional form of religious life were to accept me. Certainly in my past I have experienced various forms of rejection from traditional religious orders including “romantic notions” whatever on earth is meant by that…Blessings - Barb:)
PS You are quite correct Freudmacher that the article reflects one experience only. I am rather curious as to whether others have had similar experiences. I have had so in the past.
 
When I was 16 years old I felt called to serve God as a consecrated religious. I approached my Parish Priest and he said he would set upa retreat for me. He didn’t get back to me and I took that as he didn’t think I was fit for it because I was a very shy and insecure teenager.Later on when I was dating I mentioned to a new Parish Priest that I felt I had a call to religious life and he told me to love my boyfriend, so I didn’t take it up again and was discouraged. The vocation never went away but I just gave up. Now decades later the vocation is still here and hopefully in years to come when my child is fully grown I will enter a convent. God willing.
 
Have any of you ladies thought of becoming a Consecrated Virgin Living in the World? The whole charism of this vocation is to live as a Bride of Christ in the world. While it is not a very well known vocation, it is a ligitimate and distinct vocation in the Church. In fact it is one of the oldest forms of consecrated life in the Church and was restore for women living in the world in 1970. Check out the website of the Untied States Association of Consecrated Virgins at www.consecratedvirgins.org It has a lot of good information.
That said, if you decide that God is calling you to this vocation, I can tell you from my own current experience that you have to be prepared to perservere in pursuing it since may priests, religious and even bishops do not understand it. It can be a long hard road but nothing will force you to give up if God is truly calling you to this vocation or anyother one.
I would also suggest looking into the Sisters of Life, Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia and the Intersessors of that Lamb. These orders defitely do not consider the desire to be the Bride of Christ as a mere “romatic notion”!
 
There are plenty of strange pople out there and it is no surprise that you encounter orders with agendas of various kinds (feminism, etc). Vestiges of the 60’s I suppose. Pray for Benedict’s reform of the church. I think he is making a wonderful course correction (to use ship terminology).

Persist like Blind Bartemeus in determining the path and grace given to you. Maybe it is in an order and the fit will come. Maybe it is a Third Order, Oblate, or the Brothers and Sisters of Charity, lay Carmelite, etc.

I am praying for you. I know what it is to struggle in finding where exactly God wants you.

Rev North
 
I had a very similar experience when inquiring to a multitude of religious womens orders. Not only were they rude over the phone, but in some of the written communications from them, and we wonder why we as Catholics have seen a drastic decline in religious vocations. Many of the comments were so hurtful that I cried.
I would like to make another comment. Its my opinion that the age limit for acceptance into a community should be done away with, its nothing but a form of discrimination. When God calls you, He doesn’t ask how old are you. There should be a place in our church for all of those who are called to a vowed religious life.
 
Do you remember the story about the wedding feast in Matthew, chapter 22?

*8 Then he said to his servants, “The wedding is ready; but as those who were invited proved to be unworthy,
9 go to the main crossroads and invite everyone you can find to come to the wedding.”
10 So these servants went out onto the roads and collected together everyone they could find, bad and good alike; and the wedding hall was filled with guests.
11 When the king came in to look at the guests he noticed one man who was not wearing a wedding garment,
12 and said to him, “How did you get in here, my friend, without a wedding garment?” And the man was silent.
13 Then the king said to the attendants, “Bind him hand and foot and throw him into the darkness outside, where there will be weeping and grinding of teeth.”
14 For many are invited but not all are chosen.’ *

When I think about this story as applied to “God’s call”, I see the “wedding garment” as the humility of the discerner. If we truly want to do God’s will, and not our own, we will continue to be humble, even in the face of (apparent) rejection. It may be that God has plans for us other than priesthood or religious life, but He is still calling us to the wedding feast of holiness and sanctity, whatever our lifestyle. Within the Church, there are many ways to serve God, all of them of value if lived out faithfully.

Personally, I have had many rejections during my discernment, from priests with great authority and from Vocation Directors and Superiors. Yes, these things caused me pain and even caused me to doubt myself at times, but they also served to humble me more. When reading that article, I wondered if the writer thought he somehow “deserved” to be treated better, that perhaps he even felt that God should somehow be grateful to him for his offer? It is we who should be grateful for even hearing God’s voice in our hearts in the first place!

I know that two years ago, when I really started seriously discerning religious life, I felt as if I were the one making the offer (of myself) to God, rather than God being the one who was inviting me to the wedding feast! When I experienced my first (very severe) discouragement from a priest who was the worldwide superior general of the order I wanted to enter, I felt devastated. I went to the Adoration chapel where the Blessed Sacrament was exposed, and I fell on my face, crying “why”" for a very long time. I was humiliated and hurt and felt that the priest had been harsh and unyielding towards me. I was given the answer to my “why” in prayer, and now I understand that my own attitude was at fault - not that of the superior general. I was discouraged, and almost at the point of despair, but I didn’t give up. Since then, I have had many discouragements and disappointments in trying to discern my vocation, but following Our Lord’s example, every time I fall under the weight of my cross, I get up again and continue on. My journey isn’t over yet and there are still many challenges and obstacles in my way.

How we react to those who advise us during our discernment might be an indication of how we would react to our superiors or others in our religious community when faced with difficulties. St John of the Cross said that others are there to help shape us into something that is pleasing to God. Handling obstacles and/or disappointments can offer us opportunities to purify and sanctify our souls if we allow it.

St Therese reminds us that God is pleased by our efforts, not our results.

If we feel called to discern religious life, then we need to be faithful and persistent. But we also need to be attentive to God’s voice. Not all can be priests (I am a woman - so this is not an option for me!). Not all are called to be cloistered nuns. Not all are called to be monks. Not all are called to be hermits. God has prepared a place for each one of us.

And those who are not called to religious life, might be called to a consecrated state in the world, or to married life. But all of us are called to holiness and to sanctity.
 
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