I think he is trying to take advantage of me again

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Rutherford2

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Many years ago, there is this guy who always take advantage of me. I had helped him to pay for his car loan, searched jobs and give him free rides. One day, I could not take it anymore because he was causing me to much stress. I quarreled with him and we never contacted each other again.

Few years later, he discovered that I went to church to become a catholic. He suddenly reappeared and asked me to help him search for a job. I suspected that, he thought I had a changed of heart after I have decided to convert into a catholic and tried to take advantage of me again. What should I do? Will I sin if I did not help him?
 
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No, it’s not a sin to turn away someone who has taken advantage of you.
You might want to block him on email & social media.
 
@angel12 @Lou2U What about “Loving your enemies / neighbour?”
 
Loving doesn’t equal “letting someone take advantage”. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is step back and let the person work it out on their own.
 
God does not ask us to be doormats. You tried to help someone, and they took advantage of you. Then you did not hear from them again until they needed something again. No, you have no obligation to help again, nor should you feel bad about not doing so.
 
Love is willing the good of the other. I believe that is St Thomas Acquinas. The good of the other is not necessarily what they think is good for them. It is what is good for their salvation. Is encouraging his dependence on you good for him? Would your helping him perhaps be enabling him? perhaps helping his vices? Could it be better for him to stand on his own two feet and help himself.
Remember there is a bit in there about ‘As I have loved you’ so you are to love yourself as God loved you too. You are not to put yourself in danger, you are precious to God too. You can always pray for him and light a candle for him.
If he keeps bothering you, do talk to your priest for your own peace of mind and also in case he bothers other kind and generous people. God bless.
 
Refer him to the nearest “Workforce” office for jobs training.
 
Yeah, I’m on board with this. If you want, direct him to other Catholic ministries, then cut him off from direct contact. You don’t have to expose yourself to abuse like that.
 
Rutherford2 said:
What about “Loving your enemies / neighbour?”
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That doesn’t change. You still pray for this person, and love him in a DETACHED manner as he is a creature of God.

However, if he makes you uncomfortable, if he drives you towards despair, if his presence feels toxic to you, you are under NO obligation to be his doormat. You can once again cut ties with this person. Just pray for him. You aren’t under any obligation at all to be there for him to take advantage of.

This man needs to find his own jobs. When you or others pander to him, it might be that he is being kept weak, even if it does not look this way. This is the opposite of being charitable. There are lots of groups out there, church, and others that help people find jobs. Give him the number of SVDP. Do the devotion of the Three Hail Marys. Our lady would love to help you.
 
Definitely not a sin. God does not want you to be a doormat and you should not allow yourself to get walked on. However, you can pray for him and tell him to get a job.
 
@angel12 @Lou2U @Irishmom2 @Bluebright @YourNameHere @Jimbo @esieffe @awesomecatholic

It was early in the morning. When I returned to my house after a morning breakfast, I saw his car already parked outside my gate, WAITING FOR ME! I got nervous but I walked up front and talked with him face to face. I told him to not contact me anymore because of such and such. Then I told him I do not want to get involve with him in anything. He tried so hard to prevent me from doing this. During that time, my mom was peeking out the window and get ready to call the police if anything happens. In the end he left and I quickly chained the gate.

I have totally blocked his Whatsapp messages. Then he attempted to message me using another person’s phone. I used an app to block that number too. He didn’t message me after that.
 
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Well done for standing up for yourself! You’ve done the right thing.
 
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Good for you! Standing up for yourself can be very hard. You did the right thing.
 
He’s either a loser with a capital “L”
Or a stalker with a capital “S”
Maybe a user with a capital “U”
 
Wow, Rutherford! You dodged a bullet. What a weirdo he is. Glad you stood up for yourself.
 
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