T
The_Adversery
Guest
…isnt this how Cain started?
sounds like your instincts are right, and you issues are rooted in becoming part of the family relationship of the Trinity. you are probably also finding connections with your own personal family relationships that may need to be dealt with, even with counselling if they seem that serious to you. For instance a conflict with your own mother or siblings that is not resolved.I I couldn’t get more childish if I tried, really.
Basically, I need you to pray to Jesus and Mary for me. Something is stopping me returning to who I was, and being part of my heavenly family. .
Thanks for that. My relationship in my family is hunky-dorey though. However, I am the only one in my family who is Catholic so there may be some tension there. I would like to point out that we don’t hate each other for anything - my dad and my sister both attended my confirmation, and my mum always asks me to say a prayer for her when I go to Mass, and my dad keeps supporting me should I want to talk to him about it.sounds like your instincts are right, and you issues are rooted in becoming part of the family relationship of the Trinity. you are probably also finding connections with your own personal family relationships that may need to be dealt with, even with counselling if they seem that serious to you. For instance a conflict with your own mother or siblings that is not resolved.
Jeff Cavins gives a beautiful testimony about his troubled relationship with his own father, and how healing there was necessary before he could progress in his relationship with God the Father.
ndescribable.Dearest brother,I understand the whole thing with Mary, that in a sense has cleared up, but something else has manifested.
As a consequence of that outburst and a subsequent sin (inflicted upon my person, so don’t worry about anyone else), I am starting to feel angry towards Christ now. It is specifically the Son, not the Father or Holy Spirit.
I’ve never felt this before. My best guess is that it is a jealousy of a more successful older brother, where my attitude towards Jesus is ‘oo look at him all saving the world, being the Christ and all’ and I feel really stupid and childish, and envious and hateful towards Christ, whom I adored as a brother, friend, Lord and God. Because of that, these feelings are unnatural and I think it has an external source, and I want everything to be as they were, but there is a barrier that is stopping me being with him and Mary.
People may say ‘but he loves you and he will come to you!’ and in the corners of my heart that only draws me more away from him, because it is really ticking me off on how ‘good’ he is…
I couldn’t get more childish if I tried, really.
Basically, I need you to pray to Jesus and Mary for me. Something is stopping me returning to who I was, and being part of my heavenly family. It may be me, it may be something else. I am left in the cold, my dear brothers and sisters, will you get my message to them, and could you offer advice? (Leave out confession - I’m going at the beginning of September. I won’t go before then because when I started out, I went weekly and it did nothing to help me progress. I’m disciplining myself to go at the beginning of every month. It has had great result so far, but this is my darkest time yet - I can’t even turn to Mary any more!)
I’m going to pray for others now. I need to keep trying, and set aside my personal affairs, and work on my sacred duty as a brother to you all.
I thank you for reading, and may God bless you should you take the effort to help a wayward pilgrim such as myself.