I think I let fear get in the way of me and God

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Chrystal

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I don’t know, but over the years, it seems as though I am becoming a perfectionist, the kind of person who is very hard on themselves when they make mistakes. I really, really want to be close to God, but it’s like when I am trying to so many things get in the way. For example when I pray, I start thinking about my sinfulness, and I feel like I am so unworthy of God’s time and love. I get afraid because it’s like there are times when I kinda feel like I am getting better in my faith, but then it’s like my inner self says, “Why are you trying so hard to be good? You know that you are so imperfect and thay you’ll just sin again in the future!” I’ve read that one book before, “Dark Night of The Soul.” It’s great, and I really saw myself in that book. Perhaps I should read it again. But anyway, feeling this way sometimes makes me cry because I want to have a great relationship with our Lord, but I think I let myself get in the way, but it’s so hard not to. I just fear getting so close to God, just to end up hurting Him and disappointing him again and again.

Has anyone else every, or is feeling like this? What do you do?
 
May God’s peace, love and mercy be with you!

Perfect love casts out fear. Our relationship with God cannot grow to its fullest if it is always overshadowed by fear. LOVE, and love alone is all that matters. When we love, we do our best, and if we fail, with deep humility, we humbly ask for forgiveness right away for offending the One Whom we love. Then we get up and persevere always gazing at the One who loves us and the One Whom we love.

Recognizing our own misery, sinfulness is a grace from God. It helps us realize who we truly are, to recognize our own nothingness… and Who GOD really IS, Who is everything.

About what you said “Why are you trying so hard to be good? You know that you are so imperfect and that you’ll just sin again in the future!”…that is a temptation so that we will get discouraged and then eventually give up.

May God who enlightens every heart give us that constant light, guide and protection so that we may know the difference and be able to overcome temptation by His grace, with the help of Our Blessed Mother, the angels, saints and poor souls in Purgatory.

May we become like little child, imperfect as we are, totally and completely trusting in God, His endless Goodness, Love and Mercy. God bless!

Blessed be Jesus and Mary!
 
Chrystal said:
I don’t know, but over the years, it seems as though I am becoming a perfectionist, the kind of person who is very hard on themselves when they make mistakes. I really, really want to be close to God, but it’s like when I am trying to so many things get in the way. For example when I pray, I start thinking about my sinfulness, and I feel like I am so unworthy of God’s time and love. I get afraid because it’s like there are times when I kinda feel like I am getting better in my faith, but then it’s like my inner self says, “Why are you trying so hard to be good? You know that you are so imperfect and thay you’ll just sin again in the future!” I’ve read that one book before, “Dark Night of The Soul.” It’s great, and I really saw myself in that book. Perhaps I should read it again. But anyway, feeling this way sometimes makes me cry because I want to have a great relationship with our Lord, but I think I let myself get in the way, but it’s so hard not to. I just fear getting so close to God, just to end up hurting Him and disappointing him again and again.

Has anyone else every, or is feeling like this? What do you do?
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It sounds to me like you might have a little bit of scrupulosity. It is also possible that you may be under spiritual attack. It is not God who says those things.

Allow yourself to love God completely, and to be loved by God completely.
 
There’s a couple of books that would be very helpful for you, Chrystal. One is Light and Peace. It is easy to read and filled with encouragement for those who fear offending God. And I Believe in Love based on the teaching of St. Therese the Little Flower. You would get a great deal out of either one, but I encourage you to get them both, if possible.
 
Della said:
There’s a couple of books that would be very helpful for you, Chrystal. One is Light and Peace. It is easy to read and filled with encouragement for those who fear offending God. And I Believe in Love based on the teaching of St. Therese the Little Flower. You would get a great deal out of either one, but I encourage you to get them both, if possible.
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Thanks Della for the resources.
I will let a friend of mine know about these books. She’s going the same situation.
 
Thank you, Della. I just ordered Light and Life, so I hope to read it soon!🙂
 
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